~ Sobriety Matters ~

Sinisterbarbie1 wrote: »

Reading this on a beautiful morning after feeding the birds and making myself some green tea. This would have been my 3 1/2 year sober anniversary, but since I had a self loathing screw up where I too self medicated (or more accurately self-annihalated) with wine at the end of the last year during various medical crises for my family which I somehow selfishly thought I would at least personally escape via booze for a bit, it is only coming on 6 months sober again for me. I always feel bad commenting on this thread because I want to keep saying just stick with it - its hard, but it will turn out really, really, really well if you get past the hard part. Don’t let the jerks win, don’t let them give you excuses, etc. etc. but it feels like that isn’t what is often wanted/needed. So thank you Xellercin for telling the jerks at your grocery directly to back off. I think this kind of marketing behavior is very different than jokey napkins and aprons at gift stores which while offensive and triggering to some is not splashed on the side of a building outright beckoning an addicted person on their way to an AA meeting after a traumatic incident to instead throw in the towel and buy wine …
Regardless, to succeed at sobriety we have to overcome our own issues including those that unscrupulous marketers or friends may place in front of us. But I applaud you for striking a righteous blow for sanity, sobriety, and decency on this one.
And I am thinking of all of you, and I am sending you peace, strength and good energy, and will be holding those hopes in my heart for all of you in sincere friendship with the wish that you find the well being you seek.

Awe, thanks.

Also be kind to yourself.
Sure, you made a choice to start drinking again and it was a bad choice, but also, it was an incredibly valuable learning experience. You now know, with all certainty and certitude that when SHTF that there is no level of pain and stress where alcohol actually helps anything.

It doesn't help you escape, it just makes your prison worse and lengthens your sentence.

Try to look at your past self who made those choice with the utmost compassion. You have to compassionately understand *why* she did what she did and not just beat yourself up for it. If we look at our past mistakes as horrible, shameful things that we aren't allowed to do again, then we totally fail to empower ourselves in the ways that we need to in order to follow through on that commitment.

You drank for a reason. A powerful reason. That means you need powerful resources to not drink again under the same circumstances.

The reason quitting has been so unbelievably easy for me is because I completely overhauled my life. I knew that my reasons for drinking were powerful. I respected why my past self made that choice and why it was so incredibly hard for her not to. I was intensely compassionate towards myself.

But I also know that alcohol never made anything better, so I never, ever again want to be in a situation where I feel drinking is my best option.

The only way to do that is to always ensure that I have *better* options than alcohol. No matter how hard life gets, I have to have better options for coping on hand than wine. I can never live a life where wine feels like my best option.

And so far, despite experiencing ENORMOUS stressors and TREMENDOUS pain over the past 2.5 years, wine never has felt like the best option. But never for a second do I take for granted that I will always have to be proactive to make sure that I always have those supports, lest wine ever catch me at a weak moment, because it can so easily happen.

We are going to Florida soon.

Last time, I went there by myself and went to the beach. I went to amazing restaurants and ate scallops and shrimp and never once drank. That was a perfect trip. I also remember on that trip walking on the beach each morning, and I befriended a sweet older lady who also said she is in AA. I felt that was a message from an angel to keep the course.