~ Sobriety Matters ~

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  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 3,738 Member
    On other topics … how is the wedding planning going? Are you getting excited?

    I'm really excited. Now that school is over (I'm a teacher), I am able to plan. Today, I ordered 3 boutonnieres and 2 wrist corsages which added up to $130.

    I then bought several white roses and some floral supplies and watched a video on how to make a bouquet. I made myself my own bouquet and it looked really good. (I'll probably save about $600 on making my own floral arrangements and bouquets).

    I am really enjoying the planning! The second time around it is even more enjoyable to plan.

    Plus, I bought a pretty spring dress- navy blue with white/blue small flowers. Since it's an afternoon wedding, I think it's appropriate.

    Thanks for asking! <3
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 3,738 Member
    BeIn2day wrote: »
    I have came across an AA 12 step toolkit app on the app store, if anyone is interested. It looks like you have to pay to subscribe to access all its contents, my workmate who is in AA must be having an effect on me lol. (He just hit 14 years sober today) I'm not an AA member, don't know if I ever will. But this app looks pretty interesting.

    You can get a / become a sponsor through the app as well it looks very interactive. Might be an option for someone not wanting to attend meetings face-to-face or who cannot (live too far away etc).

    I found it on app store called AA 12 step toolkit 12 step recoverybox. I have got it but not paying for anything, just playing around with the idea of the 12 step programme approach and AA and what it may offer me. It does work for a lot of people.

    Thanks for sharing this! I didn't know this.
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,604 Member
    @RubyRed427 your dress sounds lovely! I bet your flower arrangements will be gorgeous 😍

    I have went the whole hog. Signed up for a year subscription on AA app. Currently looking for an online sponsor. I'm such a newbie. I searched the sponsors list and spotted a male with over 20 years of sobriety under his belt. So I asked him to sponsor me but he told me I should ask a female to sponsor me. Okay. I guess AA has its own way of doing things and I need to respect that. I have asked a female, patiently awaiting a response...

    I am totally willing to give this a chance. I'm not sure about attending face to face meetings, which is why I like the app. I'm interested to work the steps and see what the results are.
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,604 Member
    On my first AA zoom meeting !
  • Sinisterbarbie1
    Sinisterbarbie1 Posts: 383 Member
    @BeIn2day so proud of you! I think having real accountability to other folks who know what they are doing/talking about and have a system for doing it rather than just checking in with a bunch of sympathetic people here on mfp will be a helpful addition to your support system. I will continue to cheer you on and be happy to provide any support I can even though mine is of the uneducated, unstructured, just sympathetic internet friend variety.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 3,738 Member
    BeIn2day wrote: »
    @RubyRed427 your dress sounds lovely! I bet your flower arrangements will be gorgeous 😍

    I have went the whole hog. Signed up for a year subscription on AA app. Currently looking for an online sponsor. I'm such a newbie. I searched the sponsors list and spotted a male with over 20 years of sobriety under his belt. So I asked him to sponsor me but he told me I should ask a female to sponsor me. Okay. I guess AA has its own way of doing things and I need to respect that. I have asked a female, patiently awaiting a response...

    I am totally willing to give this a chance. I'm not sure about attending face to face meetings, which is why I like the app. I'm interested to work the steps and see what the results are.

    I'm so proud of you. This is another tool in your tool belt. The AA philosophy is really brilliant. I was told a few times about having a female sponsor. That makes sense actually. So, that person was correct- women sponsor women.

    When you are ready the meetings are quite moving. I also found people to be quite friendly. You shake hands (pre-covid) and you feel a connection.

    p.s. One more thing, some meetings are called open - so anyone can attend.
    Some are women's only and that can have benefits too.

    Anyway, I am not an AA expert. But I applaud you for trying something different.
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,604 Member
    Thank you @Sinisterbarbie1 & @RubyRed427 ❣️

    I just thought, I'm gona bite the bullet. Left to my own devices, I will drink again. Only thing I don't know is what damage it might do. And that scares me. Nothing might happen. Or my worst nightmare might happen. That alone tells me I'm an alcoholic. 1 drink is too many. 10 is never enough. I appear to fall into this category of drinkers.

    I have a feeling these 12 steps, meetings and having a sponsor could actually help me.

    I will always value this online support here, too. Your a very supportive bunch xx
  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,177 Member
    I was not feeling very strong, going to my nephews pre wedding party tonight. Well guess what? No alcohol was offered at all. It was all seltzer and regular water. No one seemed to mind in the least. The mother of the groom whose home it was at, just didn't want a bunch of hungover people at her son's wedding tomorrow. It was wonderful and I am THRILLED that I will feel fresh and happy tomorrow for his big day.

    I'm proud of you Bein, trying something new. Whatever works is what works!
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,604 Member
    @SunnyDays930 it's nice to get a surprise like that ! I know for a fact the old drinking me (before embarking on this journey) would have hated that situation. I would have felt uncomfortable and constantly thinking "where on earth is the wine ??" Thats a way that I measure how far I have came. Now I would be pleasantly surprised. Enjoy the wedding ! 🎊
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,604 Member
    Another zoom meeting tonight. I really enjoyed it. Very interesting. I'm just watching & listening, definitely don't feel like speaking! I like that I can just listen, no pressure to talk if you don't want to.
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,604 Member
    My brother and I are having really good conversations about our alcohol intake, issues caused by booze etc. He has expressed interest in AA aswell. Before I did, actually. Another benefit to me giving it a try, is that he might go for it, too. I hope so. He has curtailed his drinking/drugging but he knows himself he is a risk. At least he does acknowledge that fact.
  • Sinisterbarbie1
    Sinisterbarbie1 Posts: 383 Member
    Its great that you have this resource for both of you. I think you will get a lot out of it whether you initially say anything or not. First just doingit is good. It reinforces your intentions and gives you new resources and ways of thinking about the situation. Second hearing that you are not alone or different from others and that you can be successful despite how hard it seems. Last and maybe most important it signals a real commitment to people who are also making real commitments and will help you hold to yours using the resources you have agreed to in the group. I am really happy and hopeful for you.
  • annliz23
    annliz23 Posts: 2,067 Member
    Trying again but finding it hard but I must make changes. So here goes.
  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,177 Member
    I got through the wedding without one drop of alcohol. I even told the server, "no thank you", when she set a glass of champagne in front of me for the toast, and she ignored me and set it down!! Instead, I raised my water glass and handed my champagne to my husband. I was seated between my 2 granddaughters and I really want to make a positive and sober impression on them, unlike with my own daughters.
    Unfortunately one of my house guests tested positive for covid right before the wedding and he didn't attend. However now I am not feeling so great so I will test too. BUT at least I am not confusing not feeling well with a hangover.
    I'm proud of myself. I think that was my first sober wedding like, ever.
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,604 Member
    @SunnyDays930 wow I am proud of YOU for rocking your first sober wedding 😁🥳

    That's an awesome milestone in your Sobriety journey!! (I hope you don't have covid). X
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,604 Member
    annliz23 wrote: »
    Trying again but finding it hard but I must make changes. So here goes.

    We will be here for you and support you as much as we can. I know how hard it can be, you will get there eventually!! Just don't stop trying!

    Nice to have you join us 💖
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,604 Member
    Thanks @Sinisterbarbie1 😊

    AA is a resource. With a community and its own philosophy. I am good with much of the philosophy although there are other parts I'm taking my time to understand them. I am not a religious person but I am 100% spiritual person, that's the main draw for me. Why not let my 'higher power' which I personally strongly believe in, come along for the ride with me and help me to remove alcohol from my life?

    The fact remains I have struggled to do this 'on my own'. I know that. So it's letting me buy into the AA philosophy more. Taking my time and doing my reading/ research just now. 🧐

    Hope everyone has a nice Sunday 👍
  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,177 Member
    Negative Covid test today. Fingers crossed it stays that way.
  • annliz23
    annliz23 Posts: 2,067 Member
    BeIn2day wrote: »
    annliz23 wrote: »
    Trying again but finding it hard but I must make changes. So here goes.

    We will be here for you and support you as much as we can. I know how hard it can be, you will get there eventually!! Just don't stop trying!

    Nice to have you join us 💖

    Thank you, I have tried loads of times but always fall back trying to do it by myself.
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,604 Member
    annliz23 wrote: »
    BeIn2day wrote: »
    annliz23 wrote: »
    Trying again but finding it hard but I must make changes. So here goes.

    We will be here for you and support you as much as we can. I know how hard it can be, you will get there eventually!! Just don't stop trying!

    Nice to have you join us 💖

    Thank you, I have tried loads of times but always fall back trying to do it by myself.

    It might be worth while to investigate all the resources so that you dont have to do it alone.

    I like this thread as 1 resource. It's good to chat to like minded people. I have picked up so many tips and good advice and support from my fitness pal sober threads.

    I managed my longest sober streak of 134 days (4.5 months) by signing up to a paid programme called Sexy Sobriety by Rebecca Weller. Her programme was fantastic, it took a holistic approach and what I learnt from that programme, there is much more involved in stopping or reducing alcohol, than just the alcohol. I would recommend checking out a programme. There is 30 day alcohol experiment by Annie Grace. There is WFS (women for Sobriety) there is AA.

    There is many apps available that count your sober days. AA has an app available as well.

    There is many books. Quit LIT was a whole new genre of books for me ! I wonder if you have looked into any of these options before ?

    In my experience, there is only so far you can go it alone. Especially if you have a drinking problem or consider yourself to be an alcoholic. I wish you all the luck in finding something that works for you. Maybe you can do it alone but it doesn't hurt to have added support x