What nobody tells you about losing weight
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bobsburgersfan wrote: »
It's always funny how many people do that AFTER you have had success doing it your way.-How many people come out of the woodwork suddenly pushing their "diet" plans, pills, or supplements. "Oh, you want to lose weight? Great! Let me sell you something." sheesh!
-Less aches and pains.
It's also fun when someone tells you "you shouldn't be eating that," like you haven't figured out how to fit the occasional treat into your calorie budget.9 -
I want every overweight person to go down this path.
I went to the pool with my kids this last weekend. And I saw so many heavy people (myself included - not judging). I wanted to talk to them all about how much better I feel even just a few weeks in and how they could feel better, too.
Right there with ya!! I just want to walk up to every obese person, and encourage them! Mostly when acquaintances find out that I lost 120+ pounds they all say, "I can't do that!! It is too hard!!"
Obviously it can't be, since so many sick people, old people, young people, sedentary people, active people have done it. When I first got on MFP in 2013, I realized that you have to make some changes (that at first I didn't want to make - and I did not make at first). But the really hard part is not losing the weight, it appears more like it is more difficult to maintain the lost weight over time. AKA the gluttony/sloth cycle needs to be moderation/diligence. You can't skip the diligence! Because, people just go back to doing whatever it was they did before they lost weight (which will make them maintain the weight they are at the calories they are eating). Or maybe they never considered what maintenance was, and just acted like "goal weight=no more dealing with the reality of calories" or something like that.
But oh how the temptation is real. Especially when I see the really short obese ladies, like I was. I just want to walk up to them so badly!!!!!!! It is tough not to.10 -
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IAmTheGlue wrote: »I got my car back today and, it is mind tripping me… it’s a 2021 Dodge Challenger so I have had it for a while. I love my car but dang… my car is so huge to me now. The seats are massive. My hands look so tiny on the steering wheel. It’s crazy. Mind blowing.
Challengers look so neat! I'm rattling around in my little Elantra. I had to adjust the seats a bunch to even get decent visibility again without that "booster seat" that used to be permanently attached to my butt. I even had to tweak the mirrors!
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Sand_TIger wrote: »IAmTheGlue wrote: »I got my car back today and, it is mind tripping me… it’s a 2021 Dodge Challenger so I have had it for a while. I love my car but dang… my car is so huge to me now. The seats are massive. My hands look so tiny on the steering wheel. It’s crazy. Mind blowing.
Challengers look so neat! I'm rattling around in my little Elantra. I had to adjust the seats a bunch to even get decent visibility again without that "booster seat" that used to be permanently attached to my butt. I even had to tweak the mirrors!
This was the same thing that I could get on the high chairs at the nurses station easier than before. Didn't have the "booster seat" that Sand_Tiger was talking about too, on my buttocks!4 -
Sometimes a part of your body looks fatter/bigger in proportion to something else. Example: this morning my stomach/hips looks bigger because my thighs are a bit slimmer. Getting used to a new body is crazy.14
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I was thinking this morning that the people who used to be so supportive and would celebrate my little wins have done less so recently. At first it made me kind of sad but then as I thought about it maybe they just realized that I don't need the support as much anymore and that that's coming from inside me and I'm going to do this regardless of whether they praise me. It doesn't mean they're not happy for me anymore it just means that that motivation is coming from me now.22
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IAmTheGlue wrote: »Sometimes a part of your body looks fatter/bigger in proportion to something else. Example: this morning my stomach/hips looks bigger because my thighs are a bit slimmer. Getting used to a new body is crazy.
Yes, this! I'm excited to see what my body shape turns out to be.8 -
my oncologist thinks i'm THIN - i have stage four lymphoma. after years of having *THUNDER THIGHS* which i no longer have , i now weigh 130 lbs at 5'7". i feel i was thin in my thirties then i gained 20 lbs. i wonder what is *AVERAGE* compared to thin. maybe i don't have a grip on that. does it matter? i've got other health issues to worry about i guess LOL
personally i feel great at this weight - aside from the cancer haha. any feedback? 11 -
giadimedici wrote: »my oncologist thinks i'm THIN - i have stage four lymphoma. after years of having *THUNDER THIGHS* which i no longer have , i now weigh 130 lbs at 5'7". i feel i was thin in my thirties then i gained 20 lbs. i wonder what is *AVERAGE* compared to thin. maybe i don't have a grip on that. does it matter? i've got other health issues to worry about i guess LOL personally i feel great at this weight - aside from the cancer haha. any feedback?
This is a case where it can make sense to look at the screening metrics, unless you think your body composition is very non-average.
Your BMI (body mass index, basically a weight to height ratio) is 20.4, on a scale where "normal" is considered to be 18.5-24.9. You can also look at your waist circumference to height ratio (where "healthy" is considered to be 0.4-0.49 - though that varies a small bit by source). Another metric is simple waist circumference, where most women would be looking for 35 inches or less.
Any of those metrics are approximations, so people with non-average body shapes or body composition (fat vs. muscle) might find them to be a bit inaccurate. But they're screening metrics, so if all of them indicate normal/healthy, that should be reassuring . . . but if all indicate either underweight or overfat, that would be a good reason to have a serious talk with one's doctor about individual factors.
Speaking as a cancer survivor myself, I think our oncologists may like to see us a bit on the heavier side of OK sometimes, if at somewhat higher active risk of recurrence - though their opinions vary individually too, they're human! - because they're concerned that if we have a cancer-related crisis, a little extra body fat can carry us through a time of either reduced ability to eat, or cachexia, so prolong life.13 -
I lost more than 100 pounds a few years ago. Injury and covid have made me put a lot of it back on, so the differences feel somehow starker to me. The biggest one was how differently people treat you when you are a 'normal' weight. I don't think I'm imagining that they were kinder, politer and more courteous. I got so much more respect from people then.
Another thing I'd not expected was how uncomfortable sitting was without all the padding on my backside! I had to put a cushion on my dining chair and taking a bath was suddenly much less relaxing because of it.
I managed to keep most of the weight off for a couple of years before the virus turned my life upside down, and I never, ever got used to my new size. I was constantly looking at my reflection, not out of a sense of vanity, but because I kept expecting to see my old body and I was checking that I was really thin and not imagining it!
The other thing that surprised me, and this is the biggest one, is that it wasn't necessarily true what people keep saying: that you won't love yourself or be any more happy with who you are when you lose weight. I have a history of mental health problems, and this ought to have been true for me, but it just wasn't. I was able to do more interesting, more fun and more adventurous things at a lower weight. I had more energy and enthusiasm. I had a better social life because I had more confidence. People treated me better. I felt vital and healthy. I was proud of what I'd achieved. I felt like I'd become the person I was meant to be. I absolutely DID feel better about myself, happier and loved myself more at a healthy weight. It's okay if that's not true for everyone. But it can be for some, and that's okay too.23 -
Pootlermse - “The other thing that surprised me, and this is the biggest one, is that it wasn't necessarily true what people keep saying: that you won't love yourself or be any more happy with who you are when you lose weight. I have a history of mental health problems, and this ought to have been true for me, but it just wasn't. I was able to do more interesting, more fun and more adventurous things at a lower weight. I had more energy and enthusiasm. I had a better social life because I had more confidence. People treated me better. I felt vital and healthy. I was proud of what I'd achieved. I felt like I'd become the person I was meant to be. I absolutely DID feel better about myself, happier and loved myself more at a healthy weight. It's okay if that's not true for everyone. But it can be for some, and that's okay too.”
I was at or close to a healthy weight 6 years ago. As my weight crept up my confidence and desire to join in social things decreased. I am glad to hear what you said. I know my self worth shouldn’t be tied to my size. And I don’t think it is. But my weight does put a damper on things. When invited to join a social event I dread finding something to wear. I dread being the biggest one there. My energy was gone (this is improving now) so to do something meant finding energy I didn’t have. But before my weight gain I was usually the one planning the events. I am looking forward to just joining in life again without these worries.
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pootlermse wrote: »The other thing that surprised me, and this is the biggest one, is that it wasn't necessarily true what people keep saying: that you won't love yourself or be any more happy with who you are when you lose weight. I have a history of mental health problems, and this ought to have been true for me, but it just wasn't. I was able to do more interesting, more fun and more adventurous things at a lower weight. I had more energy and enthusiasm. I had a better social life because I had more confidence. People treated me better. I felt vital and healthy. I was proud of what I'd achieved. I felt like I'd become the person I was meant to be. I absolutely DID feel better about myself, happier and loved myself more at a healthy weight. It's okay if that's not true for everyone. But it can be for some, and that's okay too.
Same here. I'm not at goal but I feel happier in general at a lighter weight and that's simply because it's easier to do everything. People definitely treat me better. When I was much heavier, people often thought I was mentally challenged, it had something to do with the roundness of my face making me appear to have Down Syndrome. My shapeless wardrobe added to that impression. I have a healthier attitude about myself and am better at self-care. Part of that is from having practiced it for so long now, but part is because I know I'm no longer neglecting myself. Taking good care of myself demonstrates that I am worth something. For me, that has been quite profound.
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TMI but urinary incontinence has improved!20
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Boy, can I relate to this! In 2020 I got to the lowest weight I've been in over 25 years. Still a very long way from a healthy weight, but I was around 90 pounds lost from my heaviest. There was a HUGE swing in how I felt about myself. The whole time I was losing, my self-confidence kept growing. I felt so much better about myself in general and actually liked myself. Conversely, in 2021-2022, I've been struggling and regaining and having regained over 35 lbs, I lost every bit of confidence I ever found, and most days I hate myself. Not trying to be a downer here, but for me self-love/esteem/confidence is VERY connected to my weight and the behaviors that lead to weight gain or loss.The other thing that surprised me, and this is the biggest one, is that it wasn't necessarily true what people keep saying: that you won't love yourself or be any more happy with who you are when you lose weight. I have a history of mental health problems, and this ought to have been true for me, but it just wasn't. I was able to do more interesting, more fun and more adventurous things at a lower weight. I had more energy and enthusiasm. I had a better social life because I had more confidence. People treated me better. I felt vital and healthy. I was proud of what I'd achieved. I felt like I'd become the person I was meant to be. I absolutely DID feel better about myself, happier and loved myself more at a healthy weight. It's okay if that's not true for everyone. But it can be for some, and that's okay too.14 -
bobsburgersfan wrote: »
Boy, can I relate to this! In 2020 I got to the lowest weight I've been in over 25 years. Still a very long way from a healthy weight, but I was around 90 pounds lost from my heaviest. There was a HUGE swing in how I felt about myself. The whole time I was losing, my self-confidence kept growing. I felt so much better about myself in general and actually liked myself. Conversely, in 2021-2022, I've been struggling and regaining and having regained over 35 lbs, I lost every bit of confidence I ever found, and most days I hate myself. Not trying to be a downer here, but for me self-love/esteem/confidence is VERY connected to my weight and the behaviors that lead to weight gain or loss.The other thing that surprised me, and this is the biggest one, is that it wasn't necessarily true what people keep saying: that you won't love yourself or be any more happy with who you are when you lose weight. I have a history of mental health problems, and this ought to have been true for me, but it just wasn't. I was able to do more interesting, more fun and more adventurous things at a lower weight. I had more energy and enthusiasm. I had a better social life because I had more confidence. People treated me better. I felt vital and healthy. I was proud of what I'd achieved. I felt like I'd become the person I was meant to be. I absolutely DID feel better about myself, happier and loved myself more at a healthy weight. It's okay if that's not true for everyone. But it can be for some, and that's okay too.
Yes, this is the downside of it. I probably have experienced the same thing. Being successful at things tends to make one feel successful. I see that in several aspects of my life, weight management being one of them. I feel like I stand taller. I feel like I'm calmer and can weather the silliness I encounter daily. I know that I can do anything I put my mind to (within reason). Then, when I have a few days that are "less successful" (I won't call it failure unless I actually quit), it can be a downer on other aspects of life.
The really awesome thing is that since I can recognize that it's happening, I can take away some of its power over me. I know that it's a fleeting setback, and it bothers me a bit less, and then I can feel successful again.7 -
Although everyone talks about how important it is, and MFP has a place to record how much water you drink, no one ever told me just how important it is to weight loss. I find that a glass of water will sometimes short circuit my cravings, and it makes workouts much easier. Three times a week, I do an hour on the elliptical trainer and a mile on the track. I use to get lightheaded, until I started drinking more water because of some advice from an article I read. Hang in there everyone. We are superheroes!11
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erotesis2015 wrote: »Although everyone talks about how important it is, and MFP has a place to record how much water you drink, no one ever told me just how important it is to weight loss. I find that a glass of water will sometimes short circuit my cravings, and it makes workouts much easier. Three times a week, I do an hour on the elliptical trainer and a mile on the track. I use to get lightheaded, until I started drinking more water because of some advice from an article I read. Hang in there everyone. We are superheroes!
Absolutely true!
My first response to my kids/husband/myself to any health issue is drink some water. My husband says “yes, Drill Sergeant “ because in basic training everyone was given Tylenol and told to drink more water for most health issues. But… did it work? Many times it does!
Drink more water. Keep your body hydrated. It helps so much.
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I agree with the idea of weight and nutrition becoming a science experiment. Food has ceased to be a source of shame/morality at all. If I bring food to work with me and I’m hungry for it at 9:30 AM, I eat it with zero apologies. If I want my leftover pizza for breakfast, I have it. If I’m hungry an hour after I last ate, I eat again. When I’m out with friends being social, I eat and drink exactly what I want, nothing more or less. I give zero Fs about what’s “normal” or “acceptable” to societal norms when it comes to food because I know what works for me. I count all my calories, including the random days of eating double or triple my maintenance. I find it fascinating to look at my weight trends compared to my calorie intake averages to calculate my maintenance and loss needs.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that I get compliments more often on things that aren’t weight-related like clothes, hair, and accessories. Even friends and colleagues who have known me a really long time are suddenly complimenting me on everything. It makes me think that the weight loss has made them pay more attention to me than they used to. The attention is simultaneously validating and unsettling.21 -
My friends and I stopped by for a delicious cold pint of barley soda after a four-hour paddle yesterday.
One of the other folks that was there that knows us said, "Wow. You're looking lean. You must be doing a lot of exercise." He was happy for me. I didn't tell him I've actually packed a few pounds back on the last few months. It felt a little odd, but I decided to just let that feeling flit away and took it as a compliment.
Like many people, I don't necessarily see myself as lean even if I am. I was for a while, and I'm still close. Maybe I'll see it some time.
On a complete side note, one of my friends who was on the paddle trip was asking about another friend and mentioned "He's wasting away" or something like that. He stopped drinking alcohol and increased his activity, and he lost quite a bit of weight. He's definitely not "too thin." I told the person who asked that, well, the problem is most of us are so used to seeing people who are too big that someone of normal weight looks "too thin." I hope he heard me because his wife would love for him to lose ... some of his extra self. I bet he'd be able to ditch some of his medications if he did, and he might even be able to drink grapefruit juice again. Apparently he misses that.14
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