~ Sobriety Matters ~

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  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,670 Member
    RubyRed427 wrote: »
    I read an article about Demi Lovato where she said she now understands that when she said she was "California sober" last year, that that was misleading and an incorrect label for her sobriety.

    I always thought that california sober sounded a bit, weird 🤔
  • Sinisterbarbie1
    Sinisterbarbie1 Posts: 452 Member
    Is california sober like california dreamin’ ?
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,670 Member
    California sober is when you only use 'soft' drugs like cannabis or alcohol but avoid 'hard' drugs like heroin or any other drugs. Or if you avoid alcohol and use cannabis instead. I wasn't totally sure what it meant so I googled it.
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,670 Member
    Today challenged me. Beautiful weather, everyone in work saying they were drinking tonight, even some of the people I support were talking about drinking tonight. One of them had me down the booze section of supermarket as she was buying her wine and cider.

    I'm glad I'm not stuck in that same old pattern as I used to be. When I came home and had a shower I looked in the mirror at my face. I thought how good my skin looks and reminded myself that's only because I have not drank for over a month. I reminded myself how much more clearly I can think and how I am generally calmer feeling, when I avoid boozing.

    Then I had dinner, now sat outside with an AF beer and a cigarette! Quitting them tomorrow so that's good. Helps my anxiety when I don't smoke.

    But yeah, temptation can come at any time to drink alcohol. I thought about AA and my commitment to that so that did help.

    My eyes look clearer as well. I can always see a big difference in my eyes when I drink compared to abstinence.
  • trishfit2014
    trishfit2014 Posts: 304 Member
    I am going to try this again. Stopping drinking as of today. I have been having headaches and the only thing that seems to lessen them is alcohol. so, if they are bad, I turn to booze to relieve them. I know alcohol is probably making the problem worse but at the time it really does work to relieve the headache. Going to try magnesium at night to see if it helps.

    I have had bad headaches before and solved them in this way. Back then it was stress. I do not think it is stress right now. Stress seems lowish right now. I have tried meditation but does not really seem to help.

    I have joined in the past and enjoyed the community and will most likely become more involved but right now just in to make it public.
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,670 Member
    Welcome @trishfit2014 glad to have you join us !

    I don't often get headaches. It's really unusual for me to get them, so I don't know much about them. I do hope you can find relief from them without alcohol. 🤞🤞
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,670 Member
    In fact, one of my workmates had sudden chest pains at work. One of the team actually called an ambulance, but she just went home instead.

    She is a heavy drinker and smoker. Age 49. It did make me wonder. Obviously anyone can have a health issue, even athletes do. But I suppose an unhealthy lifestyle will eventually catch up to you. My dad was only 62 when he died of a heart attack. He was a heavy drinker + smoker + ate junk food. My mum was 58 I think when she passed. She used to be a heavy drinker, she was a lifelong smoker + she took drugs unfortunately. So, it's a stark reminder for me, really. The reality of only living for today and not caring about the future. My dad had even became quite cocky about it. Quite sure of himself. Probably because all he had was angina and thought he was getting away with his lifestyle.
  • Sinisterbarbie1
    Sinisterbarbie1 Posts: 452 Member
    @trishfit2014 welcome! I used to get headaches as well. I rarely get them anymore. A lot of times they are caused or made worse by dehydration so if you are exercising a lot or it is hot, and you are not keeping up with water the liquid in alcoholic drinks will temporarily help, but alcohol is of course ultimately really dehydrating so it can cause rebound cycles.
    Congrats on making your plan to quit public. That helps.
  • Sinisterbarbie1
    Sinisterbarbie1 Posts: 452 Member
    @BeIn2day good for you for avoiding the multiple temptations today! And also for noticing how good you feel and look. I think taking inventory of all of those positive things is something we do too rarely. Probably because we are conditioned not to admire ourselves too much. I definitely do the opposite though when my phone pops up an old “memory” picture of me with a fat face and bleary eyes and blotchy skin (which I must have kept because I thought I looked OK at the time). Wow, what a difference.
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,670 Member
    @Sinisterbarbie1 we must try and focus on the positive changes. There are MANY positive changes when you take alcohol out of the equation. It is challenging sometimes and there will be moments I'm sure I will want to give in and drink. But I'm really determined not to. I know if I start again I will have to stop again. And I just don't know how many more times I will be able to do that before becoming exhausted with the process. I feel that I must gather all the positive changes and remember them cos alcohol is just waiting for me to return to it. With the promise of 'fun'. Or 'letting my hair down' I am needing to re-train my brain for sure. Redefine what fun and letting my hair down is.

    It's funny. I'm glad I didn't drink tonight. In fact the thought of being drunk again doesn't do anything for me. It feels more of a dread. Like a trap. I know I will suffer if I drink. I could say something and start an argument or make a fool of myself and feel ashamed. But I know for a fact I will be so mad at myself for drinking again, and dread starting over. And worst of all, the 3 day hangover. Now I'm 35 they really last that long. I hope I never drink again.
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,670 Member
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    I really must remember this. High anxiety can send me straight to the bottle shop. In future I would contact my councillor or speak to someone in AA. Just speak to someone who can help me. Everytime I have drank when feeling low and anxious I end up with suicidal thoughts. The alcohol numbs the issue and then I awake suffering all the ill effects of pouring a depressant into my body which also raises adrenaline to make my anxiety through the roof. I stop being able to cope and it feels scary. And to add insult to injury, the issue still exists.
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,670 Member
    Put out my last cigarette. I am publicly announcing this to give me extra accountability and support.

    I will use the ecig to get me over the initial shock 😲

    Hope everyone has a lovely weekend 🤗
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,670 Member
    The stats on my new quit smoking app ~ apparently this is its estimates after me smoking for give or take, around 20 years.
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  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,670 Member
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    Knowing I won't have the slightest trace of a hangover for work on Monday.....feels good. I can't function properly with a hangover, even a bit of a hangover drags me down.
  • zakam
    zakam Posts: 4 Member
    Glad I found this thread. Really need the support to get off the hampster wheel of alcohol. Looking forward to sharing success stories.
  • allieberri
    allieberri Posts: 37 Member
    You know how your heart races 5 hours after your last drink? That's A fib and that is the leading cause of strokes. This study says even one drink can trigger it and it's another reason for abstinence over moderation. My dear friend's husband just suffered a stroke. I do not know his drinking habits, I don't think he drinks very much at all since she does not indulge, but hearing about what they are both going through is scary and distressing.

    https://www.ucsf.edu/news/2021/08/421341/alcohol-can-cause-immediate-risk-atrial-fibrillation

    My husband has a-fib and had heart failure early 2020. While it is totally managed now and he has mostly recovered - his physician told him to make sure no more than 1 drink a day and 3 max when he is socializing. He has worked really hard on staying to the limits. He has slipped up a couple of times and he can tell the difference and his BP soars.
    It is very scary and it is good to know so that you can take proper care of your heart.
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,670 Member
    zakam wrote: »
    Glad I found this thread. Really need the support to get off the hampster wheel of alcohol. Looking forward to sharing success stories.

    Glad you found us ! Welcome to the thread 😁
  • allieberri
    allieberri Posts: 37 Member
    Good morning everyone.
    I loved being able to get back here. I have my grandson living with us this week and he is working with my hubby...two boys with ADHD...it's already been challenging.
    Congrats Ruby and welcome to those who have newly joined. I love coming here and reading about 'my gang'.
    I had one glass of red wine on my hubby's b-day (last Tuesday). Was primarily busy serving others so that was nice. I continue to be surprised watching his family drink. I also get concerned when adults are drinking around children. Seems like not a good thing to do. Alcohol is not a problem - food is.
    Saturday was not good...I ended up buying Gin-Gin ginger candies and mindlessly ate a whole bag. My stomach was upset all that night and yesterday as well. I haven't done that for ages. Not even sure what caused it all...TV for one - that is a bad thing for me. I am not sure what happened but a brain fog patch.
    I listened to a podcast last Thursday when I was doing my 2 hour drive to work - it talked about changing your mind to decide that you are just done with something. I remembered that is how I managed smoking. Cold turkey. At the end of the podcast - the host encouraged the listener's to say out loud - it is finished while thinking about your favorite addiction. I know it's early, but it's kinda like the gummy experiment - I say those words to myself now every morning about overeating and it seems to be working. I am not sure all of what he said in that podcast now but I feel a bit like I have crossed some weird barrier.
    I have a busy day ahead and am hoping to accomplish some good things today.
    Planning for a walk/run tomorrow morning and trying to log my food. Haven't since the grandson arrived last Thursday. Seems like my attention is everywhere but on me.
    I sympathize with busy mom's - so limited time for self some days.
  • BeIn2day
    BeIn2day Posts: 1,670 Member
    allieberri wrote: »
    You know how your heart races 5 hours after your last drink? That's A fib and that is the leading cause of strokes. This study says even one drink can trigger it and it's another reason for abstinence over moderation. My dear friend's husband just suffered a stroke. I do not know his drinking habits, I don't think he drinks very much at all since she does not indulge, but hearing about what they are both going through is scary and distressing.

    https://www.ucsf.edu/news/2021/08/421341/alcohol-can-cause-immediate-risk-atrial-fibrillation

    My husband has a-fib and had heart failure early 2020. While it is totally managed now and he has mostly recovered - his physician told him to make sure no more than 1 drink a day and 3 max when he is socializing. He has worked really hard on staying to the limits. He has slipped up a couple of times and he can tell the difference and his BP soars.
    It is very scary and it is good to know so that you can take proper care of your heart.

    Apparently alcohol weakens the heart muscle and makes it droopy. That freaks me out quite a bit.