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Do you think people are realistic about what being healthy can do for us?

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Replies

  • HoneyBadger302
    HoneyBadger302 Posts: 1,983 Member
    So, first, let me define what "healthy" means to me, for me specifically: Right now, it means:
    • Bringing my fitness and strength to new levels (even though I'm in my 40's)
    • Managing and supporting past "memories" (aka, injuries)
    • Providing my body with the fuel it needs to perform well
    • Maintaining a healthy body fat for me, and one I find attractive on my frame
    • Not feeling like I'm starving all the time
    • Continuing to improve my "health metrics" including but not limited to: Blood pressure; cholesterol; cardio health; how long I'm "down" with a virus; how quickly I recover from an injury; etc.
    That out of the way, I can already see that my yo-yo fitness already has me ahead of many of my peers in terms of what I consider healthy. My mother (who has always hated exercise and it shows) in her 60's has been diagnosed with [as bad as it gets when you can still walk] osteoporosis, and I will NOT live the life she is living at that young of an age.
    I also know that I generally heal very quickly compared to "predictions" or what I see peers deal with. I know I have reduced stress and improved my health and fitness to take my blood pressure from 189/102 down to 135/85 with NO meds in 18 months (and still dropping - slowly at this point, but still getting lower readings over time).
    I see fit friends who are 10ish years older than I who are still running tough mudders, recovering quickly from things like a knee surgery or even replacement, etc.
    I also know that while I might catch a virus (like covid - more than once lol) it was nothing more than a typical flu for me at worst (couple days knocked on my butt, couple days recovering, and on my way full steam ahead).
    Now this was 5.5 years ago, but my last "major" injury was a "pilon" fracture (almost compound) and subsequent infection from a fracture blister. My body fought the infection off so well it took a long time for it to get to a point where it could be diagnosed as such, and once known, while I went through the full treatment program, I was also continuing on with all other activities, including racing my motorcycle. Yes, I was also sure to provide my body fuel and supplements to support itself, but kept up with my activities, too. My fracture (despite the infection) healed ahead of schedule, and hardware was removed ahead of schedule and again, healed very quickly.
    I do have the ankle, a shoulder I posterior dislocated, and torn meniscus in both knees that require I keep up with a number of PT type exercises, along with DDD, but again, as long as I keep up with those things in addition to regular workouts (or integrated into my workouts I should say), I would hardly know I have these injuries half the time - the ankle is fubared and hard to ignore as it does limit some movement, but training has helped me adjust to the "new normal" much better, and I doubt a lot of people would even realize how screwed up it is if I don't tell them about it.

    I race (road) motorcycles, and still ride on the street too. I have no delusions about any guarantees other than every time I swing a leg over, I might die that day (try not to lol, but it's a reality of the sport you have to accept). I also ride horses. I've lost several friends to cancer. I've also seen some survive major health issues when they made better choices than some others. Maybe it wouldn't have saved someone else, but let's face it, the more odds you can have in your favor, the better.
    Just from riding, I'm well aware of the fact that injuries "compound" meaning 1 major injury by itself might be livable, but if someone has that plus several smaller injuries, they might die. Well, if you're going to face down some major unforeseeable issue, why not be sure all of those "injuries" you can mitigate/avoid aren't a problem so your body can focus on fighting the major thing?? Seems like a no-brainer to me. I know many in the world don't want to do the work involved, but asking if it's worth it? Again - no-brainer.
  • Hiawassee88
    Hiawassee88 Posts: 35,754 Member
    edited March 2023
    Yes. And, if we meander too far outside of our normal river banks, there is always someone here... to steer us, right back on course.

    I still live in a world where people are trying to improve their health. We arrive with our own set of biases and experiences. We learn how to smooth out our bad decisions with better decisions. Very few have a perfect record. Those who are still standing, after all of these years, are very passionate about their quality of health.

    Our approaches may be different, but we care. We share a common goal, make it to that finish line, intact. We can trace our hard times back to our choices and decisions. Some are very precise, scientifically logical and numbers oriented. Some are artists and not analysts. I'm buck wild with a down-home twang, but I know what discipline is.

    Realistically, it starts with one good decision. Every. Single. Day. When our feet hit that floor, we turn around and make our own bed. We follow through. We take a step. We choose our breakfast foods. All of these little decisions lead to the big ones. We move. We walk out out front door, and walk or run down the road.

    We put one foot in front of the other. We don't quit. Just for today, we'll make a series of decisions, that put us in control of how we will feel at the end of the day. We improve daily, with our small decisions. This is how we realistically make all of our big decisions.

    Will I join the U.S. Marine Corp or will I choose a different career path. It all starts with learning how to make good decisions and better choices for ourselves. Our bodies remember what our mind forgets. Your body remembers how good you used to feel as a kid. It wants that back.

    Today is not the day to give up. One day. One decision. Our bodies are always realistic. It's our head and emotions that we have to convince.
  • shaumom
    shaumom Posts: 1,003 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    I want to come back in about two things. One is the "life-threatening illness" issue, the other is whether I/others are being realistic.

    I just realized that most people may be viewing 'incurable illness' as 'life-threatening illness,' based on responses. I was actually thinking of incurable, but not necessarily life threatening. I myself, and many family and friends, have incurable conditions and illnesses that impact quality of life rather than threatening it completely, although there are definitely folks I know who have the latter.
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    Some people's thought patterns are . . . weird, around life-threatening illness. Magical thinking is common, I think...I had a life-threatening illness, stage III locally-advanced breast cancer. I didn't hide it. (Why?)

    There were some people who would question me quite intently about why I thought this would happen, kind of peppering me with questions about diet, exercise, genetics, environmental factors, you name it. In these cases, once they hit on some major "risky" thing that I had done, that they didn't do...looking for the magical reason that I got cancer, but they wouldn't, the magical thing that made them safe.


    Magical thinking is the most perfect explanation of what I've witnessed in some of the folks I know - thanks for that. I have a rare disorder that is incurable, seriously impacts my day to day life, and I had the same experience of questioning. Although rather than worries about catching my disease, they often looked for the differences between our lifestyles that were positive on their part. And then would proceed to tell me that if I just adopted X activity/food/exercise/meditation, then I would be cured, no longer in pain, etc...

    I have to be very careful about my diet, my physical health, and even my mental health (stress sets off symptoms, too), just to survive. But even seeing that, many people felt that my accepting that I have a disease, that it is permanent, and that there is nothing that can improve symptoms past a certain level, is wrong. By numerous people, I was told that they wouldn't have 'given up' like I was doing. They would 'keep looking' or 'keep trying.'

    They don't seem to be able to accept that no amount of 'healthy' behaviors are going to make things better enough to 'be' healthy by their standards. It absolutely makes a difference in my life, but I am still never going to be 'well.' And I have been surprised at how many people seem to think that is an impossibility.

    I think I saw this in over 50% of the people who I knew, but it's hard to tell sometimes if it was just a skewed sample size, or if this type of unrealistic thinking/belief is common outside my experience. I appreciate your detailed answer about your own experiences.

    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    OK, on to the next: Am I realistic about what being 'healthy' can do for me? ...I think more than I used to be.

    I feel that way about myself as well, although I wasn't thinking about the positive side of things until reading your response. I feel more realistic about how fragile and easily lost our health can be, no matter how healthy we try to be to ward against it, since I fell ill. But...I do also feel more realistic about how much even small changes can improve what we have. My life is so much better if I am eating safely and making sure to be as active as I can. Huge positive changes, in many ways.

    I think I never considered, before getting sick myself, how individual our own successes are, with re: to our health. Or how individually we could view what being 'healthy' is, and what it does for us. It's been interesting so far to see how different people view it, overall.

    Thanks again for the response. And I'm so happy that you survived what you have to get to a better place.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 31,722 Member
    shaumom wrote: »
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    I want to come back in about two things. One is the "life-threatening illness" issue, the other is whether I/others are being realistic.

    I just realized that most people may be viewing 'incurable illness' as 'life-threatening illness,' based on responses. I was actually thinking of incurable, but not necessarily life threatening. I myself, and many family and friends, have incurable conditions and illnesses that impact quality of life rather than threatening it completely, although there are definitely folks I know who have the latter.
    FWIW, I didn't particularly conflate your "incurable" with "life threatening". I posted that because of other comments on the thread about people feeling cheated or that it was unfair that they got cancer, when they'd "done all the right things". That's another manifestation of the magical thinking, I believe.
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    Some people's thought patterns are . . . weird, around life-threatening illness. Magical thinking is common, I think...I had a life-threatening illness, stage III locally-advanced breast cancer. I didn't hide it. (Why?)

    There were some people who would question me quite intently about why I thought this would happen, kind of peppering me with questions about diet, exercise, genetics, environmental factors, you name it. In these cases, once they hit on some major "risky" thing that I had done, that they didn't do...looking for the magical reason that I got cancer, but they wouldn't, the magical thing that made them safe.

    Magical thinking is the most perfect explanation of what I've witnessed in some of the folks I know - thanks for that. I have a rare disorder that is incurable, seriously impacts my day to day life, and I had the same experience of questioning. Although rather than worries about catching my disease, they often looked for the differences between our lifestyles that were positive on their part. And then would proceed to tell me that if I just adopted X activity/food/exercise/meditation, then I would be cured, no longer in pain, etc...

    It's interesting to me that you've seen a similar reaction from some people about your actually-incurable condition that I did to my life-threatening (but survived (so far)) thing.

    I'm going to bury some other comments in a spoiler because I think they're responsive to your interesting post that I've quoted, but they really aren't about the topic in your OP.

    This next is a complete aside, and I'm absolutely not questioning that your condition is actually incurable (some things are!). It's more the flip side: Now that I think about it, I also see some people around me thinking that certain things are unchangeable that actually are changeable - but that change would be uncomfortable or inconvenient for them. (Isn't change usually uncomfortable in some way, even good change? ;) )

    I'm talking about - for example - some friends my age who are obese and physically very out of shape, who are absolutely rock-solid in their belief that they can't lose weight, or that they're too far gone to make any fitness progress at all. There may be cases where that's true (?), but these are people who I'm pretty sure could improve their health, but are using that sense of inevitability of the condition as a reason not to commit to what's required. It's a self-disempowerment.
    I have to be very careful about my diet, my physical health, and even my mental health (stress sets off symptoms, too), just to survive. But even seeing that, many people felt that my accepting that I have a disease, that it is permanent, and that there is nothing that can improve symptoms past a certain level, is wrong. By numerous people, I was told that they wouldn't have 'given up' like I was doing. They would 'keep looking' or 'keep trying.'

    They don't seem to be able to accept that no amount of 'healthy' behaviors are going to make things better enough to 'be' healthy by their standards. It absolutely makes a difference in my life, but I am still never going to be 'well.' And I have been surprised at how many people seem to think that is an impossibility.

    Yes. The "don't give up" rhetoric seems like a variation on "blame the victim", besides.

    A pernicious variation on this theme, IMO, is people who told me I needed to have a positive attitude, that that was key to surviving cancer. Also, heaven forbid they should have to, but my exasperated thought was that they should just try staying positive every single second in the face of something either life threatening or incurable! Maybe someone can do that, but I can't.

    (In the case of cancer, FWIW, there's actual research suggesting no difference in mortality amongst people who were positive vs. grumpy about it.)

    Another variation is people who told me in so many words that "God doesn't give us anything we can't handle . . . and I (the speaker) couldn't handle what you're going through." That observation is not a diss of religious belief, which I respect in others, but it's IMO an example of people using a twist on their belief as that kind of magical talisman: They won't get cancer because God knows they couldn't handle it.

    Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure that's not how it works. (I also internally eye roll at the "you're so brave" kind of reaction: It's surprising what a person can handle when there literally is no other realistic choice but to handle it, y'know? There's nothing brave about it.)

    P.S. The exasperation and eye-rolls are internal. I try to react to people's intentions, i.e., be nice to people when the things they say to me are meant kindly, even if I think some of the logic is way askew, or the word choices undiplomatic. Bless their hearts, y'know?
    I think I saw this in over 50% of the people who I knew, but it's hard to tell sometimes if it was just a skewed sample size, or if this type of unrealistic thinking/belief is common outside my experience. I appreciate your detailed answer about your own experiences.
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    OK, on to the next: Am I realistic about what being 'healthy' can do for me? ...I think more than I used to be.

    I feel that way about myself as well, although I wasn't thinking about the positive side of things until reading your response. I feel more realistic about how fragile and easily lost our health can be, no matter how healthy we try to be to ward against it, since I fell ill. But...I do also feel more realistic about how much even small changes can improve what we have. My life is so much better if I am eating safely and making sure to be as active as I can. Huge positive changes, in many ways.

    I think I never considered, before getting sick myself, how individual our own successes are, with re: to our health. Or how individually we could view what being 'healthy' is, and what it does for us. It's been interesting so far to see how different people view it, overall.
    Thanks again for the response. And I'm so happy that you survived what you have to get to a better place.

    Thanks! I'm glad you've found some strategies that help you manage your illness: That's a great example of being clear-eyed and realistic about health, grabbing the reins to drive the situation in the best direction you can find. Some of your "don't give up" friends could take a lesson about what "keep trying" really means, IMO.

    I'm enjoying this thread, too - thanks for starting it.
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,400 Member
    edited March 2023
    shaumom wrote: »
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    I want to come back in about two things. One is the "life-threatening illness" issue, the other is whether I/others are being realistic.

    I just realized that most people may be viewing 'incurable illness' as 'life-threatening illness,' based on responses. I was actually thinking of incurable, but not necessarily life threatening. I myself, and many family and friends, have incurable conditions and illnesses that impact quality of life rather than threatening it completely, although there are definitely folks I know who have the latter.
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    Some people's thought patterns are . . . weird, around life-threatening illness. Magical thinking is common, I think...I had a life-threatening illness, stage III locally-advanced breast cancer. I didn't hide it. (Why?)

    There were some people who would question me quite intently about why I thought this would happen, kind of peppering me with questions about diet, exercise, genetics, environmental factors, you name it. In these cases, once they hit on some major "risky" thing that I had done, that they didn't do...looking for the magical reason that I got cancer, but they wouldn't, the magical thing that made them safe.


    Magical thinking is the most perfect explanation of what I've witnessed in some of the folks I know - thanks for that. I have a rare disorder that is incurable, seriously impacts my day to day life, and I had the same experience of questioning. Although rather than worries about catching my disease, they often looked for the differences between our lifestyles that were positive on their part. And then would proceed to tell me that if I just adopted X activity/food/exercise/meditation, then I would be cured, no longer in pain, etc...

    I have to be very careful about my diet, my physical health, and even my mental health (stress sets off symptoms, too), just to survive. But even seeing that, many people felt that my accepting that I have a disease, that it is permanent, and that there is nothing that can improve symptoms past a certain level, is wrong. By numerous people, I was told that they wouldn't have 'given up' like I was doing. They would 'keep looking' or 'keep trying.'

    They don't seem to be able to accept that no amount of 'healthy' behaviors are going to make things better enough to 'be' healthy by their standards. It absolutely makes a difference in my life, but I am still never going to be 'well.' And I have been surprised at how many people seem to think that is an impossibility.

    I think I saw this in over 50% of the people who I knew, but it's hard to tell sometimes if it was just a skewed sample size, or if this type of unrealistic thinking/belief is common outside my experience. I appreciate your detailed answer about your own experiences.

    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    OK, on to the next: Am I realistic about what being 'healthy' can do for me? ...I think more than I used to be.

    I feel that way about myself as well, although I wasn't thinking about the positive side of things until reading your response. I feel more realistic about how fragile and easily lost our health can be, no matter how healthy we try to be to ward against it, since I fell ill. But...I do also feel more realistic about how much even small changes can improve what we have. My life is so much better if I am eating safely and making sure to be as active as I can. Huge positive changes, in many ways.

    I think I never considered, before getting sick myself, how individual our own successes are, with re: to our health. Or how individually we could view what being 'healthy' is, and what it does for us. It's been interesting so far to see how different people view it, overall.

    Thanks again for the response. And I'm so happy that you survived what you have to get to a better place.

    First of all, your question was something I responded to in a generale way. However, I would have answered differently if you had mentioned an incurable illness. Getting one of those depends on genetics, or just plain bad luck. You can better your situation trying to stay as healthy as possible (all of that has been covered), so that you can concentrate on the illness and the way you react to it. You just do your best. Be the best you can be. The mental place one is in will be important to keep keeping on.

    Best wishes OP. You seem to be handling this as best you can, and I admire that.
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,366 Member
    shaumom wrote: »
    But I still frequently see people who will, say, develop an incurable illness, or an injury that isn't fully treatable, and react with shock, or even anger, because 'I did everything right. I ate healthy, i exercised, I took care of myself.' (I see much less of people who think good health doesn't impact anything)

    That was me, I was one of the unrealistic ones. In fairness I had a long history of rarely getting sick, being told by medical professionals that I healed freakishly quickly, etc. Other than some chronic conditions (hypertension, allergies, lymphedema) outside my control I was ridiculously healthy.

    My first come-uppance was when I quit smoking. I went from being a heavy smoker who maybe caught a mild cold every three years or so to an ex-smoker who got hit with every bug going around the office. I felt like I was being punished for doing a good thing. That little blip lasted for about a year then I returned to my previous exceptional health.

    More recently I had a ruptured appendix. Realistically I know there is nothing a person can do to prevent this. But I remember lying there on the hospital stretcher thinking, "Why is this happening to me? I do everything right! I take such good care of my body and this is how it repays me?" I don't know if that was unrealistic or just a little fit of pique. :D

    In reality, taking care of our own health doesn't make us invincible, it just confers a degree of protection against some ailments and conditions.
  • SafariGalNYC
    SafariGalNYC Posts: 824 Member
    edited March 2023
    The healthier I eat, the more energy I have.
    My skin also looks better…
  • LifeChangz
    LifeChangz Posts: 457 Member
    edited March 2023
    Well, I'm 68 and a lot of people I know are dead or very ill. The ones that take care of themselves--exercise, eat right, and keep their weight at a reasonable level, can still walk and do normal things. THAT'S the idea. Statistics are on your side. Using the "well I could get hit by a car, or get cancer, or blah, blah" are just excuses. Keeping up normal functions for as long as possible, is the idea. Quality of life in old age is what we're striving for, but you do you.

    bold is mine....

    this "well, I could get hit by a car, or...." had me thinking back over the decades and perhaps it is a cultural response - have heard it used, in defiance/defense against doing what would be recommended as good/better for 'you' (as a person) with whatever is being pushed - from 'wear a seatbelt' before it was mandatory, same with helmets... to quitting drinking, smoking or losing weight or whatever else... and.... along with this statement tends to go 'live free or die!' or some such other defiance... (the only ones that come to mind are rather potty mouthed, so will stop at this illustration.)

    and in a sense - the sentiment is correct - something 1 way or another will be the end of us...

    further, back in the day - people did not know what we know now... that may seem trite, but for example, the cigarette ad suggested smoking for our health. the diet approach suggested nearly eliminating all fats... or that we could lose weight by hooking up to straps that frappe'd our bodies! lol

    fortunately, more information is emerging - so we have an opportunity to adjust our lifestyle - which may make life easier physically as we age and/or become ill.

    will people use the new/emerging information and change their lifestyle choices? some do, more seem to be but many still don't and I still hear people using the 'something will get me - might get hit by a bus!' and they continue with smoking, vaping, drugs, drinking, feasting... or whatnot... still rings as defiance when I hear it.
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,366 Member
    In a similar vein to @LifeChangz post, I've often heard a sort of fatalistic "When your time's up, your time's up" approach. (The SO follows this philosophy) Like you have a predestined expiry date and nothing you do will alter that.
  • LifeChangz
    LifeChangz Posts: 457 Member
    edited March 2023
    @ythannah ~ yes, I was just thinking that about "yolo" ~ you only live once!

    on thought - we can find reasons to 'not' or we can find reasons 'to do' ~ it's a very different mindset and how do you get a whole society to shift? In the current environment of working out at the gyms paired with eating out/ginormous servings - it's a bit of mixed messages.... the phrases/reasons that spring to mind for me reach back to childhood, like a parrot of those experiences with those people - changing that is a very conscious shift to make. And, I think involves releasing the old ways of eating/thinking, turning and embracing new, healthier ways of eating/thinking.. I like to envision how my life could be better tomorrow because of the choices i make today - i hope to live a long time without needing other's help to do things like get dressed or even eat... and that is where I so agree that seeking healthy is for me about future quality of life.
  • angelxbunny
    angelxbunny Posts: 4 Member
    edited March 2023
    Warning, this gets rambly.

    In my eyes, health is very personalized. It looks different for and on everyone, and there is no one size fits all (pun not intended, but approved.) In my mind, eating healthy is about meeting your bodies nutrient needs. Fueling your body with what it needs to stay healthy is always good. Excersize isn't about weight loss as much as it is keeping yourself moving and enjoying that movement/activity. It helps your brain too!

    It's a foundation. Keeping your body maintained best you can, and giving it the best shot it has.

    However, there is no magical answer.

    No food, diet, excersize plan, pill, or whatever. Nothing will keep you immune from illness, injury, age, and disability.

    These dont happen because of "right" or "wrong" choices. Hell, even weight isn't so simple. Theres a level of elitism I see in some fitness spaces, where they put themselves on a pedestal and gloat about how much better they are then fat or disabled people.

    "Look at us! We made all the right choices! We're not like those sad people who will die at 30 because they're lazy!"

    They dont know that pedestal is made of sand, and all it takes it one wave to knock it over. An accident, sickness, genetics. A healthy life certainly can help with these things, but they do not make immunity.

    I myself am disabled. I have a condition called POTS, causing dizziness from moving positions (and just about everything else) and fatigue.

    I will never be "healthy". No fad diet or excersize plan will change that. Actually, most would worsen my symptoms considerably. But yet, so many people say they would dissapear if I just did yoga. (I do stretches regularly. Very enjoyable, still have the malfunctions.)

    I think I forgot the original question. Let me wrap up real fast.

    Personally, I have seen most benefit in fostering a healthy relationship with food. I do not moralize certain foods, no "good or bad" or "cheat days." Just feeding my body when it's hungry (or when its not, thanks small appetite) and making an effort to get in needed nutrients. Going from barely eating 1000 calories a day to eating "bad" foods regularly (and actually sleeping regularly) has cut my fatigue down so much.

    And I'm...attempting excersize. Ive been a theater and art nerd my whole life, it's an adjustment even without the dizzy spells. We're working on it.

    Health is a lot of things. It is not one size fits all. Frankly I think a lot of popular health fads are unhealthy and dangerous, and focus far too much on guilt and fear. But that doesn't mean there aren't benefits in making healthy choices. It can improve your bodies health, but also make your brain happier! And that's my main goal.
  • shaumom
    shaumom Posts: 1,003 Member

    I myself am disabled. I have a condition called POTS, causing dizziness from moving positions (and just about everything else) and fatigue.

    I will never be "healthy". No fad diet or excersize plan will change that. Actually, most would worsen my symptoms considerably. But yet, so many people say they would dissapear if I just did yoga. (I do stretches regularly. Very enjoyable, still have the malfunctions.)

    My eldest kid has POTS - it can be so brutal. I managed to skip that one and got MCAD only (kid has MCAD as well). So a real quick sympathy hug.

    But also...I have had the yoga recommendation! By so many people. I do not know what kind of extra magic some folks think yoga has, that they recommend it so often, LOL.

    Wishing you good luck, and hope that you have a good day tomorrow.
  • neanderthin
    neanderthin Posts: 9,810 Member
    edited March 2023
    I think most people that lose weight believe it's healthier, and that's because it is healthier. I would suspect also that if a person that needs to lose weight, and of course this is on a spectrum, do believe that it translates into a healthier and happier life and life span in general. I think that was your question.

    Of course other factors determine good health as well and again from my observations people that have more feet time on mother earth, and bare footed to be more specific tend to be healthier than those sitting and not moving very much. Basically the more active a person is, better health outcomes are then translated over a life span. Cheers
  • penguinmama87
    penguinmama87 Posts: 1,158 Member
    In general I have found MFPers to be very level headed in how they approach health and weight loss (which is why I've stuck around!) "Improving the odds" is a very good way to put it.

    I do see evidence in general of the "magic thinking" which treats various foods or behaviors as a talisman against whatever issue. It's an understandable temptation and I try to avoid it myself. The really upsetting other side of it is when people lack empathy for others who suffer because they didn't do the magic thing (whether or not the link is real or imagined.) I have had many "well meaning" people suggest explicitly or implicitly that a genetic health issue of one of my children is the result of me ignorantly feeding him junk food. I really could do without that kind of thing.

    (Even when a person suffers because of poor health choices, I still feel bad for them. I don't see the point in not being compassionate to people who are suffering to punish them more.)