Currently 196lb, trying for 165lb but no progress.

Weight loss requires a calorie deficit. If you haven't lost any weight in a month, then you must not be in a calorie deficit.

My guess would be you are not tracking calories accurately. Perhaps you are forgetting some stuff, or you are estimating some foods much lower than what they really are, etc. Add that up over the course of a week or month and you may just be eating at maintenance. I've done this in the past myself.

What works for me is I figure out my maintenance level of calories. Say 2400 calories. Subtract 20% from that, which is 480 calories. Let's round to 500 calories. I should be eating around 1900-2000 calories roughly to lose weight. I try to eat a little less than that, say 1700-1800 calories on most days, as I know I may not be estimating or tracking everything 100% accurately. This gives you a little cushion in case you're off a bit.

If you are a snacker, grabbing a handful of chips here and there throughout the day, but not tracking that, it can easily add up to 200 calories for the day. If you forget to track the BBQ sauce you had at dinner, or the butter you put on your toast, etc. All that stuff adds up. Suddenly you're off by 200-400 calories. That can derail your efforts right there.

Sometimes when I hit a plateau, I actually eat more during that week. I might jump from 1900 calories up to 2200-2300 calories for most of the week, then drop back down again. That helps get things restarted sometimes for me personally.

If you can up your activity level a little bit each day that will also help. Walking is easy to do. Try fitting in a walk during the day sometime when you have time. Even 1-2 miles is better than nothing. Over the course of the week it will add up and help. Plus you'll feel better too.

maybe it has to do with accountability on your own self tracking food sometimes doesn't perhaps translate to weight lost right away . Maybe should start by checking your A1C or maybe also check how many times at day you been eating and you insulin speaks . Most people overlook at those things now at day. Also are you eating out or you actually cooking at home but everything sum to are you doing right things ??

I’m the same only I’m taller and used to be much lighter .. I agree we are not in a calorie deficit 🤷🏻‍♀️ I blame my kids for everything though 🤪

Started writing a response a day or two back but my phone ate it.

Not sure if the op is still following… it would be great if they are and benefit from the conversation!

There was a lot of stuff mentioned. And a lot of this is just most wonderfully excellent and good and is setting things up good for the upcoming weight loss!

But in perhaps an incorrect method of persuasion… i will tackle the good only after I have a go at what I perceive to be potential problems and pitfalls!

So first to jump out from the page were two pitfall issues: the well known (at least to me based on my own past) "burn both ends of the candle" over-the-top and almost manic effort of less food and more exercise near the end of the previous weight loss attempt.

Such over the top, almost manic efforts at weight loss, inevitably seem to end in what the OP (and myself on multiple occasions) experienced: abandonment of effort followed by regain.

I also note the, perhaps, less well known or at least less mentioned, but also personally experienced: "I want to see progress every day / every week / on every weigh in".

Both of these pitfalls have one common denominator: unsustainably large deficits that… well: which part of unsustainable is not self explanatory? Without an adjustment "unsustainable" eventually lives up to its name and the effort collapses.

Continuously and always visible progress requires an unreasonable level of deficit for anyone who is not high up in the Cat III obesity ranges. Because weight DOES fluctuate for many reasons other than underlying fat level changes. So yes. You can have progress visible on each weigh in. But that requires 750+ (and probably well in the + if you're trying for daily visibility) consistently applied deficits. Which are too big for anyone who is not hitting tdee's in the 4000+ range.

THAT SAID: my very back of the napkin calculation said you have been applying a deficit of about 150 Cal per day (there is more than just your weight change that went into that. I am factoring in a bit of hidden fat loss that may not be showing up on the scale because of your exercise).

Regardless. Whether 100 or 150… you're showing a bit of a deficit and a bit of weight loss. If you want more just add up whatever you've been logging (assuming you've been logging every single day)… and try to double or triple but NOT to quadruple or more the deficit you've been creating

If you haven't been logging every day… start there.

The goal is NOT to exercise till you toss your cookies and eat the least that you can. The goal is to consistently create a moderate deficit while exercising in a health promoting way.

For the long term.

FOR EVER.

OK: you won't be creating a moderate deficit forever… eventually there will be maintenance! But the point is that you're learning to deal with long term management. Not the application of heroic measures to get somewhere as fast as you possibly can! Consistent. Moderate. Deficit. On a weekly and then multi week and then multi month basis. With ups and downs and adjustments!