My friends won't play with me :(

bmw4deb
bmw4deb Posts: 1,325 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have been a member of my Gym for about 8 months now
and have gotten really friendly with some of the ladies that
I do classes with (zumba, body fit, spinning) we would always
spend the 10-15 minutes before classes talking laughing ect
We had even did the midnight zumba the 2 hr spin special for MS
you get the idea!
Now i'm being avoided like the plague :ohwell: It really hurts my
feelings. I have done nothing wrong, but I can tell there whispering about me
when we are all waiting for the class to start :cry:
Hubby says it is because i now wear xs workout cloths and there still in 2x :indifferent:
most have been members longer than me HELP !!! I feel like im in high school
and instead of being happy to go to the gym i now have to force my self :angry:
«134

Replies

  • LuneBleu85
    LuneBleu85 Posts: 217
    Sorry to hear this :( You could always ask them casually why you guys talk less? If they continue like this they don't deserve your attention, get some rockin music on your iPod and tune them out. :)
  • russelljclarke
    russelljclarke Posts: 836 Member
    Change gym mate - life's too short
  • lorna1002
    lorna1002 Posts: 185 Member
    They are probably jealous of how well you have done. Don't worry, hold your head up high and carry on :happy:
  • DarkAngel525
    DarkAngel525 Posts: 135
    I would confront them in a kind manner and see what they say. It could be a simple misunderstanding or sensitivity on your part and bringing it up would resolve the tension. Or, if they brush it off or don't take your feelings seriously, then you can move on and make other friends. I'm sorry your feelings were hurt, your husband might be on to something though....
  • lvmarc4evr1997
    lvmarc4evr1997 Posts: 2
    Oh hun..it is THEIR insecurity and you just need to surround yourself with positive people that will relish in the fact you are succeeding in your journey and NOT being jealous. Very tough to just rid people from your life - I get that - but it is unhealthy to be around that negativity. Maybe you could change up the classes you do so you dont have to witness them acting like high school brats.....
    Don't lose focus...they arent worth it.
  • birdlover97111
    birdlover97111 Posts: 346 Member
    Ignore them...I agree with the others, they are probably jealous of your progress...(Funny how most of us women are like that)...lol...Keep up the good work, don't let it get you down...Besides, concentrating on yourself and your workout instead of the social aspect is probably better for you in the long run...Good luck on your journey, I wish you the BEST..!!.. :flowerforyou:
  • NiciS72
    NiciS72 Posts: 1,043 Member
    That just sucks. I'll point out that if they truly were your friends they wouldn't act like that. I have my gym "friends" who I talk to at class and if I see them out in about. Let me tell you, even though they are mere aquaintances they are super supportive of my weight loss. I get compliments often and encouragement as well. I say you are better than these biddies who behave like they are 14 instead of adults. Be the bigger person and be polite, but don't go out of your way to talk to them or be overly friendly.

    Chin up, you got this!
  • wendyannvantiem
    wendyannvantiem Posts: 188 Member
    You look good and they are jealous : ) Keep doing what you do and let them drink some more haterade!
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    If they can't happy for you, then they aren't worth being friends with Consider it their loss...and start chatting with some new people!.
  • Tangerine302
    Tangerine302 Posts: 1,509 Member
    Congratulations on your weight loss! :) If they are treating you different because you are a different size it doesn't sound like they were very good friends to begin with. As long as you are acting the same and they don't feel you've changed then it doesn't sound like anyone you would want to hang around with anyway.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Have you asked them what the problem is? Maybe you made an offhand comment that you didn't realise was hurtful to one of them. There has to be a reason for this. I would urge you to find out what it is.
  • EmpressOfJudgment
    EmpressOfJudgment Posts: 1,162 Member
    Did you forget to wear deodorant during the midnight zumba?

    You are right. This is a high school problem. Who cares. Just do your thing.
  • kriswigg
    kriswigg Posts: 95
    I'll point out that if they truly were your friends they wouldn't act like that.

    I completely agree. Keep up the good work, ignore their pettiness and go find some new, true friends.
  • cparter
    cparter Posts: 754 Member
    It is unfortunate; how primitive we still are. Humans, like canine, have a yearning to belong. Everything we do we feel it can be done better if we have a partner or someone we can relate to/talk to.

    It is hard to look inside to see why you are doing things when you are doing them alone.

    These are the things I see:

    1. You are friendly and made "casual acquaintances" for other members in the fitness center

    2. As long as you all were in the same perdicament you were welcomed into the inner circle

    3. Once you evolved the envy came out from the acquaintances (not friends)

    4. You are hurt by the pettiness of what you have witnessed


    In the end your personal nature has failed to see the great success you have achieved while they did not take it as serious and remain unchanged.

    Embrace the you and what you have accomplished without getting hung up on the pettiness. When you make it a battle it becomes a war and when it becomes a war nobody wins.
  • mea9
    mea9 Posts: 561 Member
    That just sucks. I'll point out that if they truly were your friends they wouldn't act like that. I have my gym "friends" who I talk to at class and if I see them out in about. Let me tell you, even though they are mere aquaintances they are super supportive of my weight loss. I get compliments often and encouragement as well. I say you are better than these biddies who behave like they are 14 instead of adults. Be the bigger person and be polite, but don't go out of your way to talk to them or be overly friendly.

    Chin up, you got this!

    ^^ This.
    That is bullying behaviour and, because they have been willing to do that once, they will do it again - to you or someone else. I wouldn't go out of my way to "deal" with them but really - how invested should you be?
  • AnninStPaul
    AnninStPaul Posts: 1,372 Member
    Oh hun..it is THEIR insecurity and you just need to surround yourself with positive people that will relish in the fact you are succeeding in your journey and NOT being jealous. Very tough to just rid people from your life - I get that - but it is unhealthy to be around that negativity. Maybe you could change up the classes you do so you dont have to witness them acting like high school brats.....
    Don't lose focus...they arent worth it.

    First, congratulations on your success! Well done!!

    And second, are there others in the class who can be playdates and are closer to where you are in your fitness journey? I'd go play by them now.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    It sounds like the gym is more of a social hour for them than a way to improve their weight and health. You could try talking to them but if they are acting this way I'm not sure how much good it will do. Are there others in the class you could make friends with that seem to share your goals? Or another class you could attend? Whatever route you choose for dealing with these "mean girls" don't let them derail your personal goals.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    I would confront them in a kind manner and see what they say. It could be a simple misunderstanding or sensitivity on your part and bringing it up would resolve the tension. Or, if they brush it off or don't take your feelings seriously, then you can move on and make other friends. I'm sorry your feelings were hurt, your husband might be on to something though....
    Yes! Before assuming what is going on (or taking the advice of other posters that are assuming what is going on), just check things out. It might be a little awkward, but communicate directly with people. That is almost ALWAYS the better option.
  • witheredorchid
    witheredorchid Posts: 164 Member
    You look good and they are jealous : ) Keep doing what you do and let them drink some more haterade!


    haha Haterade! Love it :)
  • kykevin
    kykevin Posts: 3
    The only person on earth that I can change is myself. I don't know why but some people don't want others to be successful.

    God grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change
    Courage to change the things I can
    And wisdom to know the difference

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