I'm so confused.
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the movie has SUBJECTS thrown in. like " if he's not sleeping with you" basically, if he is not sleeping with you or trying to sleep with you he's probably NOT that interested. cuz, if a guy is interested he wants to have sex with you!
another one is " if he's not calling" and another is " if he's sleeping with someone else."
i don't recall them all. but, basically if he is doing or not doing those things you get a better sense of if he's into you or not.
so, i was seeing a guy last year for about 2 months. and at the end of those two months, he was no longer calling, no longer making dates, no long trying to be intimate, texts were short " morning." type things. to me, those were signs that he was no longer interested. and i have just recently experienced the same path. no more phone calls, no more dates being planned, no more trying to be intimate, some days no communications at all...... my best guess, he was no longer interested, right?
had i NOT seen that movie, i might have gone chasing after them. which would not have been good for me, and not done anything productive for the "relationship" at all. instead, i let them walk away, which still being polite and sweet when they did make contact.0 -
As far as He's Just Not That Into You book, I would say I'd apply it more to when a guy is initially pursuing a woman. Usually calls/texts slow down as you progress in the relationship or stuff happens. (hello! look who's being calm about it!) In my present situation, I wouldn't really look into the book anymore since I've been with bf almost 2 months. Yet, if he stopped calling, stopped seeing me, then yeah, I'd assume he's just not that into me anymore.0
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the movie has SUBJECTS thrown in. like " if he's not sleeping with you" basically, if he is not sleeping with you or trying to sleep with you he's probably NOT that interested. cuz, if a guy is interested he wants to have sex with you!
another one is " if he's not calling" and another is " if he's sleeping with someone else."
i don't recall them all. but, basically if he is doing or not doing those things you get a better sense of if he's into you or not.
so, i was seeing a guy last year for about 2 months. and at the end of those two months, he was no longer calling, no longer making dates, no long trying to be intimate, texts were short " morning." type things. to me, those were signs that he was no longer interested. and i have just recently experienced the same path. no more phone calls, no more dates being planned, no more trying to be intimate, some days no communications at all...... my best guess, he was no longer interested, right?
Maybe it is a guy thing or maybe I am just old but that would seem obvious to me without a book.
Sorry,not trying to be a smart *kitten* about it.:flowerforyou:0 -
no. you're right, but see women don't always see a guy distancing himself in the same way. if we do our girls gut reaction we might chase because if we had a friend withdrawing we would want to know WHY!!!!
i added this to the above post
had i NOT seen that movie, i might have gone chasing after them. which would not have been good for me, and not done anything productive for the "relationship" at all. instead, i let them walk away, while still being polite and sweet when they did make contact.0 -
Never play defense in a relationship! PERIOD! If you cannot put yourself out there to get hurt, then you shouldn't expect him to take the relationship seriously and it may show you haven't healed from whatever crushed you in the past. Yeah you've had it bad in the past and got hurt, I'm sure he has too. He is probably venting on some sports forum how emotionally locked up you are and he doesn't know what to do either. You need to take him out for a laid back fun evening and then when you get back to his place you need to dish out your heart. Us guys know that you have these fears and there's NOTHING more heart breaking than a good girl who runs away from a good situation because her heart skipped a beat. Break honest with him, tell him how you feel and that it scares you. If he offers reassurance and protection you HAVE to take him at his word put all this behind you. Whatever happens is out of your hands. I promise he won't be happy if he feels his girl is being distant, hiding things and/or being "shady" . He's going to assume the worst too. It will be a HUGE boost in the right direction for you two to hash out your fears and promise to move forward past them.0
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Never play defense in a relationship! PERIOD! If you cannot put yourself out there to get hurt, then you shouldn't expect him to take the relationship seriously and it may show you haven't healed from whatever crushed you in the past. Yeah you've had it bad in the past and got hurt, I'm sure he has too. He is probably venting on some sports forum how emotionally locked up you are and he doesn't know what to do either. You need to take him out for a laid back fun evening and then when you get back to his place you need to dish out your heart. Us guys know that you have these fears and there's NOTHING more heart breaking than a good girl who runs away from a good situation because her heart skipped a beat. Break honest with him, tell him how you feel and that it scares you. If he offers reassurance and protection you HAVE to take him at his word put all this behind you. Whatever happens is out of your hands. I promise he won't be happy if he feels his girl is being distant, hiding things and/or being "shady" . He's going to assume the worst too. It will be a HUGE boost in the right direction for you two to hash out your fears and promise to move forward past them.
He knows my fears, a little too much. For now, I just want to make our time fun and light. He is aware I'm afraid of getting hurt which is one of the things he brought up during the talk last week. He didn't want to ever hurt me if he wasn't giving enough (according to my high standards). I realize now that I've been asking for way too much in such little time. Maybe not directly but indirectly.
I need to just enjoy and relax. I need to let things progress on their own. That's what I'm working on now.
I'm not going to be distant. I'm just giving him space by not seeing him as often. When we see each other, we spend the night. It was 2-3 days out of the week PLUS all weekend long so almost every day at each others. It's nice but I don't want to get into a completely mashed up mess. We are still getting to know each other. I'd like to keep going out with him, learning about him outside of hanging out. Learn his habits, his bad, his good, etc.
So I suggested seeing each other once a week (we still text/ call on the off days) and then all weekend long. I think it's reasonable.
Also by space I mean, not make it all about me and my needs. I'd bring up relationship stuff often. Since I knew he liked me so much, I figured, he'd be patient with me... but I've learned he's just a man. I can't keep pressuring him. I want to like him/ love him for who he is... not what I want him to be. I've been needy (not clingy) and I don't like it. I'm an emotional gal.. but I don't want to be an emotional mess all the time. That's not who he fell for.
So that's what I mean by space. I'm not going to be cold, distant or treat him any different. I just need to quit trying to make things happen and just let them be.0 -
As far as He's Just Not That Into You book, I would say I'd apply it more to when a guy is initially pursuing a woman. Usually calls/texts slow down as you progress in the relationship or stuff happens. (hello! look who's being calm about it!) In my present situation, I wouldn't really look into the book anymore since I've been with bf almost 2 months. Yet, if he stopped calling, stopped seeing me, then yeah, I'd assume he's just not that into me anymore.
You, calm?
Does not compute.0 -
As far as He's Just Not That Into You book, I would say I'd apply it more to when a guy is initially pursuing a woman. Usually calls/texts slow down as you progress in the relationship or stuff happens. (hello! look who's being calm about it!) In my present situation, I wouldn't really look into the book anymore since I've been with bf almost 2 months. Yet, if he stopped calling, stopped seeing me, then yeah, I'd assume he's just not that into me anymore.
You, calm?
Does not compute.
You've been being mean to me lately!! :sad: I AM calm. I'm trying to be calm... and I will overcome my crazy overthinking brain.
I received brilliant advice yesterday after I told someone I even thought of breaking up with him to avoid being broken up with and being hurt. She said "don't.. it might work out. And if it doesn't, use this experience to learn, try, keep working on yourself, when you feel your mind go over, work on it."
Not that I'm using Smiley as an expirement but she's right. If I run from this, it's going to come up again with next guy and ya'll will be hearing the same story. I need to calm down. I did great last night. He was super late. I was upset. My mind overworked but I worked myself back down and was pleasant when he finally arrived. Then he surprised me with making plans with me tonight.
Had I overthought, went off and gave him an emotional speech, I doubt it would have helped.
So yeah, you've been right. Enjoy the moment. I'm trying... I promise.0 -
As far as He's Just Not That Into You book, I would say I'd apply it more to when a guy is initially pursuing a woman. Usually calls/texts slow down as you progress in the relationship or stuff happens. (hello! look who's being calm about it!) In my present situation, I wouldn't really look into the book anymore since I've been with bf almost 2 months. Yet, if he stopped calling, stopped seeing me, then yeah, I'd assume he's just not that into me anymore.
You, calm?
Does not compute.
You've been being mean to me lately!! :sad: I AM calm. I'm trying to be calm... and I will overcome my crazy overthinking brain.
I received brilliant advice yesterday after I told someone I even thought of breaking up with him to avoid being broken up with and being hurt. She said "don't.. it might work out. And if it doesn't, use this experience to learn, try, keep working on yourself, when you feel your mind go over, work on it."
Not that I'm using Smiley as an expirement but she's right. If I run from this, it's going to come up again with next guy and ya'll will be hearing the same story. I need to calm down. I did great last night. He was super late. I was upset. My mind overworked but I worked myself back down and was pleasant when he finally arrived. Then he surprised me with making plans with me tonight.
Had I overthought, went off and gave him an emotional speech, I doubt it would have helped.
So yeah, you've been right. Enjoy the moment. I'm trying... I promise.
You're assuming I meant that rude, which I didn't. I suppose I should have put lol after it.
Her advice sounds exactly like what other people here have told you.0 -
As far as He's Just Not That Into You book, I would say I'd apply it more to when a guy is initially pursuing a woman. Usually calls/texts slow down as you progress in the relationship or stuff happens. (hello! look who's being calm about it!) In my present situation, I wouldn't really look into the book anymore since I've been with bf almost 2 months. Yet, if he stopped calling, stopped seeing me, then yeah, I'd assume he's just not that into me anymore.
You, calm?
Does not compute.
You've been being mean to me lately!! :sad: I AM calm. I'm trying to be calm... and I will overcome my crazy overthinking brain.
I received brilliant advice yesterday after I told someone I even thought of breaking up with him to avoid being broken up with and being hurt. She said "don't.. it might work out. And if it doesn't, use this experience to learn, try, keep working on yourself, when you feel your mind go over, work on it."
Not that I'm using Smiley as an expirement but she's right. If I run from this, it's going to come up again with next guy and ya'll will be hearing the same story. I need to calm down. I did great last night. He was super late. I was upset. My mind overworked but I worked myself back down and was pleasant when he finally arrived. Then he surprised me with making plans with me tonight.
Had I overthought, went off and gave him an emotional speech, I doubt it would have helped.
So yeah, you've been right. Enjoy the moment. I'm trying... I promise.
You see what I mean by the "this is me accept it" thing isn`t always a good idea. :flowerforyou:0 -
As far as He's Just Not That Into You book, I would say I'd apply it more to when a guy is initially pursuing a woman. Usually calls/texts slow down as you progress in the relationship or stuff happens. (hello! look who's being calm about it!) In my present situation, I wouldn't really look into the book anymore since I've been with bf almost 2 months. Yet, if he stopped calling, stopped seeing me, then yeah, I'd assume he's just not that into me anymore.
You, calm?
Does not compute.
You've been being mean to me lately!! :sad: I AM calm. I'm trying to be calm... and I will overcome my crazy overthinking brain.
I received brilliant advice yesterday after I told someone I even thought of breaking up with him to avoid being broken up with and being hurt. She said "don't.. it might work out. And if it doesn't, use this experience to learn, try, keep working on yourself, when you feel your mind go over, work on it."
Not that I'm using Smiley as an expirement but she's right. If I run from this, it's going to come up again with next guy and ya'll will be hearing the same story. I need to calm down. I did great last night. He was super late. I was upset. My mind overworked but I worked myself back down and was pleasant when he finally arrived. Then he surprised me with making plans with me tonight.
Had I overthought, went off and gave him an emotional speech, I doubt it would have helped.
So yeah, you've been right. Enjoy the moment. I'm trying... I promise.
You see what I mean by the "this is me accept it" thing isn`t always a good idea. :flowerforyou:
Yes.................
So what do you think of this famous quote by Marilyn Monroe?
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”0 -
i like it :-)0
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As far as He's Just Not That Into You book, I would say I'd apply it more to when a guy is initially pursuing a woman. Usually calls/texts slow down as you progress in the relationship or stuff happens. (hello! look who's being calm about it!) In my present situation, I wouldn't really look into the book anymore since I've been with bf almost 2 months. Yet, if he stopped calling, stopped seeing me, then yeah, I'd assume he's just not that into me anymore.
You, calm?
Does not compute.
You've been being mean to me lately!! :sad: I AM calm. I'm trying to be calm... and I will overcome my crazy overthinking brain.
I received brilliant advice yesterday after I told someone I even thought of breaking up with him to avoid being broken up with and being hurt. She said "don't.. it might work out. And if it doesn't, use this experience to learn, try, keep working on yourself, when you feel your mind go over, work on it."
Not that I'm using Smiley as an expirement but she's right. If I run from this, it's going to come up again with next guy and ya'll will be hearing the same story. I need to calm down. I did great last night. He was super late. I was upset. My mind overworked but I worked myself back down and was pleasant when he finally arrived. Then he surprised me with making plans with me tonight.
Had I overthought, went off and gave him an emotional speech, I doubt it would have helped.
So yeah, you've been right. Enjoy the moment. I'm trying... I promise.
You see what I mean by the "this is me accept it" thing isn`t always a good idea. :flowerforyou:
Yes.................
So what do you think of this famous quote by Marilyn Monroe?
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
Honestly...given the train wreck of a life she lived and the early death she brought to herself I wouldn`t put too much stock in it as being profound.
Self aware of what she was doing maybe but hardly words to live by.
Sorry ladies,I know they sound independent and strong but really they are just an immature person trying to justify the life she was living.0
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