How to get fit again after a breakup...???

I broke off a 7-year relationship in November and sort of went into a dark hole afterwards....even though it was me who wanted to break it off. I sort of built my life around him for 7 years and then didn't know what to do with my son got me a puppy....she may have saved my life so to speak. But, while in my "dark hole", I gained 30 pounds and it makes me feel bad about myself. NOW I'm past the grieving period and need to get fit again. I used to go to the gym 3 times a week, but he goes there so I no longer go.....can't afford a membership....he had me on his. So now it's up to ME to get myself together again.

I'm not sure how to motivate myself to workout at home and on my own's a bit boring. I'm not trying to "whine"....just being honest. I just don't know how to start and what to do to, Pilates, some of my other workout videos?....just not sure. I have so many workout and exercise videos and DVDs, you'd think I'd be in perfect shape. NOT!! I have the stretchy bands, the workout ball, weights, a Journey Gym....SO many things....yet here I am doing nothing much but walking my dog twice a day. I'm really not lazy, but it makes me feel lazy. I just don't really know how to motivate myself anymore. I lived around that relationship for so many years that I just sort of feel lost. I have a closet full of size 6 & 8 clothes that I can't wear and it is so frustrating.....I don't want to get rid of them, I want to FIT into them again. Thanks for any suggestions you may have.....and please don't "peck my head"....I've said it all to myself already and probably more....I'm good a 'beating myself up'.


  • Jugie12
    Jugie12 Posts: 282 Member
    Congrats on making it out of the hole!!

    I'm with you - I hate wokring out at home and I do find it intensely boring. I go to a gym simply because seeing others around me is motivating in itself. Since I don't have much experience with the DVD workouts, I would like to suggest to you Oxygen Magazine. It's an awesome publication, much more informative than women's health and other fluffy magazines. They have TONS of routines, recipes, research and info for all age groups and walks of life. Tosca Reno is the main woman behind it - her husband Robert Kennedy (Bless him) passed away recently and the two of them have been some of the driving forces behind my own fitness journey.

    Get yourself a subscription and enjoy - you'll be rockin' it in no time!
  • kelseyhere
    kelseyhere Posts: 1,124 Member
    Community is definitely a great way to motivate yourself- do you have a friend who maybe would like to start working out? Maybe you can agree to hit a yoga class twice a week together, or alternate doing a DVD workout at each others house during the week. If you don't have any friends who are interested, go to and look for fitness related meet-ups in your area. In my town there are always lots of hiking events, softball games, kickball games, and even hula hooping for fitness. The best thing is most of these events are 100% free! You'll meet other people who also like working out, and can build some new friendships. When you have committed to another person that you will work out together it's a lot harder to keep hitting snooze or making excuses when you know they're waiting for you.

    Another idea is to commit to a very specific goal, like signing up for a 5k. If you sign up, you won't want to lose that entry fee so you'll have to train.

    Mainly you just need to find something you like. You obviously enjoy spending time with your pup, and that's why you walk her everyday. If you enjoy the workouts you do just as much, it will become habit. Keep trying new things until you find the right fit. If you aren't enjoying the current workout videos you own, take them to a local book/video swap store and find some new ones. You can also try and sell some of your old equipment on craigslist or at Play It Again Sports and use the money to buy other equipment that will motivate you. Finally, take that dog on a hike! It's more challenging than a walk and you're dog will love you for it! Me and my baby girl right there < always have a blast when we hike together.

    This is the time to focus on yourself so seize the opportunity! Once you get back in the habit again it won't be so hard. Keep at it godfreygirl!
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    I went through a similar dark hole after a relationship and that's when I gained my weight too. It's ok to take baby steps toward fitness, but try to find something you love and want to do more of. There is no one set answer because it varies by individual. But congrats on making it this far. MFP is a HUGE support, so stick with it and that will help too!
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
    i've definately spent my fair share of time in that ugly black hole...and I still fall back in every now and then. I actually lost weight while in that "place" as I tend to not eat when i'm in that state of mind. However, I have ventured out now but I still have around 20 lbs to lose. What motivates me to exercise every day is me. I look in the mirror and I think "you can do better then what you're doing and you deserve it bigtime, so go DO IT!!!" For sooooo long I would just veg in bed all day until I had to get up for work. Well I got laid off. I retreated back into the familiar hole for a while. But now i'm out for good and i'm rarin to get on the feel good train. I crank the music as soon as I get up, eat and figure out what exercise i'm gonna do and I do it. I work out at home also. I'm on my own also. I use my treadmill, I go for a jog, or a walk, Jillian Micheals dvd, dance dvd....whatever I want. It gets easier if you keep with it. Just do the best you can. In the beginning I did more sitting thinking, then actually working out lol. But now I get more done and i'm quite happy with myself. My daughter visits sometimes and we work out together. You'll figure it out. Find what you like doing and ease into it. Make it for you and have fun with it!!!!:flowerforyou:
  • sydnisd183
    sydnisd183 Posts: 247 Member
    I ended a 7.5 year relationship December 2011. I started my eating problems about a year prior, because I knew I wanted to end it but at the same time I wasn't ready, if that makes any sense. I had built my life around her, to the point where I had excluded most of my friends and the things I liked to do. Meanwhile, I managed to gain 50 lbs. I just moved to another part of town at the beginning of this month (I used to live about 2 min. away from her) and just this week started getting back into working out and eating right. I feel a million times better already. Just. Start. Today.

    Do they have any fitness groups in your area? Here they have a bunch of running groups that usually meet at Memorial Park (a popular park here in Houston). They meet 3x a week for 16 weeks and it's only $60. Also, fitness clubs like Planet Fitness and LA Fitness have those $40 startup and $10 a month specials. I just happened to have a 24 hour fitness membership from years ago, and I use that to go to the gym and get motivated by seeing others train. I also watch a lot of Youtube videos on fitness motivation, workouts, nutrition, etc to keep the fires burning.

    Good luck. I know how it feels to lose that relationship. I feel like I lost a part of me. But at the same time, i'm relieved it's over. I felt trapped and under her thumb at all times, like I was suffocating. I now have the incredible opportunity to look at the mistakes I made and work on them, so I don't repeat them the next time around.