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  • I didn't see this exchange. He is into her too. She just appears to be further along than he is currently in the relationship. Sometimes one person "knows" before the other. Their chemistry is undeniable so I am betting it goes the distance. There would be no trapping. There is reason to believe there would not even be sex…
  • I am not sure it matters how I am wired. I try to view things as how they might potentially be taken by someone other than myself.
  • I said vanity could be a primary or a joint goal so I thought it was clear. If a person is losing only for vanity then they may want compliments but I still think that is between them and their mirror. Weight loss is reflected in how the person feels, their scale results, their NSVs, and yes appearance but appearance need…
  • If someone is actively trying to lose weight I would still steer clear of appearance and celebrate their weight loss either in pounds if they mention it, or NSVs. If they just appear to have lost weight I don't think I would mention it. There is nothing wrong with losing weight for vanity or with vanity in combination with…
  • Not a dumb question at all. The answer is, it depends. Very lean proteins will be almost exactly the same in calories between raw and cooked. Their weight will change because of losing moisture content. If you have a fatty protein, a duck breast for instance, and you know how to properly render a lot of the fat, the…
  • For most of my life almost all of my good friends have been women. At some point I realized that there was a cumulative impact of being treated as an object. It was about then that I resolved I would do my best to avoid ever being part of the problem again. As I have gotten older though I also realize that appearance is…
  • This is a minefield. 1) Sometimes retired people believe they have earned the right to be sedentary (a nice way of saying lazy). 2) You are his child. He may not appreciate the role reversal of you trying to parent him. 3) For some people the more you try to encourage the more depressed or resentful they will get. We see…
  • I would attack the problem on two fronts. 1) As mentioned there are countless ways to change up flavors. There are ways to challenge yourself. You can cook foods from different cuisines, different time periods, and fusions. 2) Do the right thing for yourself because it is the right thing to do. Eating is a requirement of…
  • I am a man who typically avoids talking to a woman that is not well known to me about her appearance unless it is troubling. I would also not engage in conversation HOPING I can comment on how great she is looking either. Whether I intend to do it or not I may try to lead the conversation in that direction and if that…
  • You probably do not need much self-control. Your average calorie surplus to gain 18 pounds in 8 years is less than 25 calories a day. This means you were never making big mistakes. You were eating an extra bite or two you didn't need or having a little too much cream in your coffee.
  • First you need to understand that THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE DIET INDUSTRY WANTS. It wants to undermine your confidence, confuse you, and keep selling you new plans or make money in advertisement as you research "free" ones. Do create an energy deficit. Do move more as you can. One of the most important things I had to learn…
  • Last year at this time I was able to keep my activity level pretty high almost every day but with my knees aching more and more I am managing more than thriving at the moment. I can still get those really high days but they are often followed by pretty minimal days. Right now it is high active chores with minimal exercise…
  • I am always afraid if I try to confuse my body that it might forget to keep my heart pumping. Okay that was mildly sarcastic but keep in mind that you NEVER want your body to be confused. You want it to respond the way it was designed to respond. Weight loss happens when an energy deficit is created. Confusing the body is…
  • Also the above is one of the reasons I keep warning people about marrying your system. The reality is before my surgery and early in my weight loss I only experienced decreasing calorie numbers. Aside from planned treats that were usually the product of banked calories and highly moderated treats I practiced avoiding…
  • Something @PAV8888 is talking about is something I am trying to put into words. There is this bit of obstinance or rebellion that seems to creep up from time to time. We know the decisions we should be making but inexplicably and in defiance to our new CHOSEN habits we revert to the kid in the candy store. I go through…
  • Feelings can be helpful or unhelpful. They can be derived from lies and habits. They can easily be proven wrong. You have certainly been in a conversation with someone that you felt was being negative towards you and after probing you found out it was not their intent and you were wrong. It would be better for motivation…
  • @jwall956 I think @PAV8888 summed up the problem you were likely having with WW. I do not badmouth any system because most reasonable systems help a certain percentage of people get where they want to go. One of the earlier incarnations of the WW point system helped me for a time. This time when I started I used that…
  • Well... there are some bad choices that can stick with you for a very long time or even a lifetime but ones that deal with daily habits fall mostly in this avalanche theory I think.
  • I have learned to like a few things because they are easy to prepare and control my hunger well. I have learned to be pickier when things are high calorie and they are not up to my standards (cold french fries, overcooked steak, etc.). I have also learned to be pickier when something just doesn't work for me anymore. I…
  • I could track my calories with pen and paper but I use MFP because it is faster and easier. The watch is the same way. It helps me in an area in which I have historically struggled so the easier it is the more sustainable it is. If the day comes I find it easier to live without it, then I will ditch it. The same is true of…
  • I think linear stability and linear weight loss is far more fascinating. It doesn't happen that often but I have had a few impressive runs of ~2 weeks of it. I have added it up a few times just to know and on a normal day I add between 8 and 10 pounds of weight between food and beverages. For my weight to be the same the…
  • Most people have a notion about weight loss requiring a special way of eating. They learn this the same we we originally learned it by hearing it and reading it EVERYWHERE. All we really need is a calorie deficit. You can lose weight just as fast eating all fast food and treat food as the same amount of calories of lean…
  • How were you eating before you started? That is generally a good clue. For years I didn't eat breakfast and my biggest meal was lunch so that is how I started. With changes in weight and activity I now eat breakfast but that didn't start until after I had been losing for close to 2 years.
  • Hi @jwall956 Jennifer, A change between WW and MFP is unlikely to make any difference in your hunger control. You will still be eating the same food with very similar portion control. What you need is to learn how to control your hunger with food. You do this through experimentation and awareness. The most common thing…
  • Hi @Tigg_ Lottie, Welcome to LL. Faster is not always better but before I can give you advice what makes you think you need to "focus" more? That can mean different things. Sometimes it means you have not figure out how to stay in your calorie budget for some reason. Sometimes it means you are trying to force yourself to…
  • Hi @angelaonens, Welcome. Perhaps you have finally outgrown "great new weight plans" or plans you have before that you ultimately did not sustain. Any plan that creates a caloric deficit can result in weight loss. There are hundreds and probably thousands of them. What good is a plan that helps you lose 10, 20, 50 or even…
  • A act of "heresy" does not invalidate all of his work. Also, if he has not realized his mistake, I hope that one day he does and people are not still throwing around the term "inexcusable".
  • Sounds like every plan that I have ever had that failed. The pressure of a deadline plus a plan that was too restrictive always made me go nutso and eat as much food as I could handle. My brain always rebelled and deserving a treat was just one of the things that would uncork the dam. Weight loss should be a mixture of…
  • How long before you meet with the cardiologist? If it is happening sometime soon I would wait before making radical dietary changes. My cardiologist said that my primary had expectations that were too aggressive and unnecessary. Your primary only has the data and what is normally done in those situations. The cardiologist…
  • Your 6 week RoL is a little over half a pound per week. Your 12 week RoL is .375 pounds per week. If you are attempting to create a 750 calorie deficit per day and you are getting results for 250ish calories a day something is not quite right. The most obvious place to start is medication. Has your weight loss prompted…
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