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Want me to put on a lab coat and prescribe you something wink wink
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People who stand in the way. Next time you're out in public, be aware of where you are standing, because you just might be in the goddamn way.
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Hey, I happened to graduate with honars. We're out here, missy.
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Corn tortillas that have wheat flour on the ingredients label Why must you test me in this supermarket, Lord
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https://youtu.be/r8UkDE8mJbk
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Peanut butter and camcorders
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My mom used to put my medicine in peanut butter because I was averse to swallowing pills. So yeah. Peanut butter and vicodins. :unamused:
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You're so merciful :cry: Most people give up after they run my criminal background check
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I just got a message today from someone on Plenty of Fish and they asked, 'what do you like to do for fun?' Now how do I answer this in a way that will get me in the sack in less than 2 dates? 🤔
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I don't know if such a place exists. Maybe the ABBA fan forums? I'm sure even they have their squabbles though.
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Look into flavored stevia drops! SweetLeaf is one popular brand.
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I would, but I'd shower you with religious extremist materials. Are you ready to change your ways and accept the Flying Spaghetti Monster into your life?
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A revolver with one in the chamber in case someone tries my potato salad and wants to end it all. :sweat_smile:
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Hey, Lisa! I'm in the middle of printing a 3D calzone. Do you want to do the honors? 🍴
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A Latvian swimmer named Urshula
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When I, the customer, has to do the customer service. Why am I asking you how your day is going to break the awkward silence? Is it really that bad here at the Gucci store? A little pep with my $800 belt would be nice.
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But you get to watch 90 Day Fiancé while doing it!
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To answer this question, we would first have to understand my origins. I come from a long lineage of fitness buffs. My grandfather was a bodybuilder at Venice Beach in the 1960's. He may even still be there today, I'd have to find his tent (haha). My mother taught aerobics classes when she was pregnant with me well into…
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I found that very insightful and I want to know if you can be my spiritual advisor.
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The stucco slabs of sleepy suburbia, where hot moms shop at Nordstrom Rack during the day, and outspoken anti-vaxxers on Facebook somehow get elected to city council. I would not be the whiny prozac-dependent millennial that I am today if it weren't for this funkytown!
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HYYY, Are you from SparkPeople? Because you're really lighting up the forums!
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I don't believe we've met. The name's Shangri-La Love Button, but most people here just call me Merv.
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I just wanna know how you use your eggplant 🤷♀️
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Work your body, but make sure you don't hurt nobody
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Don't forget about those of us still on MySpace. This is your chance to crack my top 8!
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Just post in a random thread, like the Calvin & Hobbes one. That's when you know someone is really hammered! Like the hobo equivalent of stumbling through the curtains at a ballet recital.
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There's a $20 coming your way if you can get that footage. It is one of my last dying wishes. 😳
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They mostly target women, but apparently make exceptions for chia pets that resemble Richard Simmons. Sick world out there.
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It's a tough economy 😧 (packs up my kitchen knives)
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Maybe it was the Birkenstocks? They can't deal with the peace, love & vibrations, maaan ✌️
