mfowler883 Member

Last night was one NA IPA with dinner, one IPA after and a small glass of rum while reading before bed. Been trying to do better about keeping up with logging food and taking my supplements, and being more consistent. In a couple of weeks we're going to Jazz & Juleps, a little event at Bayou Bend with outdoor meandering in…

Yeah big fan of Utah here. I've only been once but it was a great trip. We stayed in Bryce but got out into surrounding areas, Dry Fork, Willis Creek, etc and did a lot of exploring and hiking. I want to hit Death Valley again next time, but I also want to explore more of Utah. AF so far this morning haha... -m

Not AF, but still less. Not getting blitzed, or really even buzzed. That's fine, I don't usually drink with the aim of getting messed up until I am, then the aim is to get as messed up as possible. I'm doing pretty good the last few days about maintaining the balance on the right side of that equation. Tonight, for…

Chaotic day. Got dragged into the office kicking and screaming the whole way, I really prefer to work from home but it is what it is, sometimes. Got home and threw myself straight into the studio project again. I started moving things around again, trying to make the best use of the space. Looking around, I realized that…

When we were little, they used to hammer it into our heads....lots of things that are missing today, really, but on topic, we were taught not to litter. I don't know what happened to that. -m

Busted hump today in the studio, went through a lot of stuff. Some things got redistributed to various closets and other spaces. Some things are getting given away or donated. Some things went to the dumpster. It's a mixed bag, I have a lot more space in here now, but I think it's had a negative affect on the acoustics.…

Here for April. Last month sucked out loud and I let it get me into a bad space. I'm working my way out of that one day at a time. Going to try to have a better month A:AF wise. -m

Well that dark & stormy turned into two, then most of the bottle. Yeah. Two days AF, though, so there's that. Tomorrow I'll try to make it three. -m

A day today, stopped at the store and a bottle of Kraken called out to me so I'm sipping on a dark & stormy. I've been thinking about it. One of my triggers, for lack of a better term, is TV and movies. When people on screen are smoking, I want a cigarette. When people on screen are having drinks that appeal to me, I want…

Right there with ya. From late August or early September through Thanksgiving, I was doing really well. From Thanksgiving on, I've been all over the place. I feel like if I got back to consistently logging everything, it would help. My reality right now is, I'm trying to keep my head in the game and taking one aspect of…

AF today. Had a couple NAs at the end of the night. -m

Been a day, started off with breakfast out which was okay but not great, then some shopping and errands. Came home and made HUGE progress on my desk, the legs are finally attached and the folding table is gone. There's still some stuff to be done, but that was a big step. The upper components are just dry fitted in, they…

AF yesterday. A local 5 Star Nutrition is closing and blowing out everything at 40% off so I got a few things including some "SleepOne" which is stuff like melatonin and things, I don't remember exactly what all is in it but nothing too crazy. Dose is three so I started with one and washed it down with hop water. I slept…

Yesterday, I had half a glass of watery frozen sangria with dinner at a nice Cuban restaurant. Other than that, no alcohol, no atarax, no delta 8 and I slept like absolute garbage. Still no alcohol in the house. -m

Yeah, NSAIDs have their place but you don't want to rely on them full time. Narcotics have their place, but they're funny. A lot of the time I've found that it's not so much that whatever hurts doesn't hurt, it's just that you wrapped a warm fuzzy blanket around your brain so the pain isn't so much of a thing. When I had…

Old doc sounds like you needed to ditch them a long time ago. New doc sounds better. Sorry you're going through this. I haven't been sleeping well either, it sucks. Last night was my first night with no atarax or delta 8 before bed after tapering off for close to two weeks. Is there anything you can do for the pain? Does…

Thanks for the hugs. Every day I'm doing a little better and that's all I can ask for. Been getting stuff done that's needed done, working on some of my projects that have stalled or been back-burnered. Making more time to play guitar and enjoy listening to music, as well. I need to add gym time to the routine. Since we…

I haven't been AF but I'm drinking less than I was. It's a battle. Today, I walked into the gym closet and had a talk with myself, I have to learn how to separate that space from the fact that B spent his last nights in there. I have to find a way to accept that I did what I had to do, that getting three of four hours of…

I lived in Ann Arbor briefly in my early 20s, before I moved to New Orleans. That was...winter of '95 I think. Back then, there was a cool coffee shop on every corner and not a starschmucks in sight. I worked in the kitchen at Zingerman's, and my friends and I made the rounds to all the cool clubs, City Club in Detroit…

@joans1976 so awesome that you're done with that! B came home yesterday. I had a little wine at the end of the night. I feel icky today again, surprise. Anyway that should be the last real development to come where that's concerned so now I can focus on getting back to some semblance of normalcy and balance in my life. -m

Oh, the wheels weren't homemade, found them on amazon. The visit was.....hard, but good. One of the techs spotted me coming in and waved me around to the hallway, and when I told him why I was there, he dragged me into the back room. The entire staff was back there. Everybody there knew Bentley, and there were a lot of…

Oh hey wow, you know I'm not paying attention when I completely overlook pie day. (Pi day, 3.14...) That's okay. I overate anyway and didn't need pie. I put the bottom half of last week's bottle of Larceny in the closet for the time being and went to bed sober for the first time in weeks. I didn't like it. Ugh. This.…

Tonight we went to one of our fav TexMex spots since I didn't have anything ready to go for dinner. I had a few sips of a mango 'rita and it wasn't that good so I didn't have more. Sipping an NA IPA right now. Har-dog is doing a little better. First few days, it was very clear that he was grieving and it was heartbreaking…

Drinking too much has left me feeling generally icky most of the time. It's time to fix it. Nothing so far today and I'm thinking I will try to go AF tonight. -m

Thanks, y'all. I'm not staying wasted all day or anything like that; I'm going through the process. I'm just....at the end of the night I am doing what I need to do to get my brain to shut the hell up and let me sleep. I know it hurts and that's okay and I'm missing him and that's okay. My friend and my sister have both…

I guess I should pop in and at least say hi, give a quick update. Wednesday morning, Bentley let me know it was time. Wednesday evening, we said goodbye. I've been drinking a lot, more than I should, and using a little. I will get back right, but not tonight, probably not tomorrow either. My sister is in town to visit for…

Oh hey, last minute pic upload: -m

Gonna make my visits less frequent for a while. Work and dogs and tasks and errands and projects and life in general are stacking up on me again and my down time is at a minimum. I'll be thinking of all of ya, and trying to keep my drinking to a reasonable amount. -m

She was adorable - it was very apparent that tourists had been feeding her for some time despite the signs posted everywhere. She had no fear of us at all, and proceeded to climb on us and our things looking for snacks. -m

I haven't researched this, it's just hearsay, but my understanding is that alcohol converts to sugar when you metabolize it, which would explain the sugar cravings. Remember that yeast eats sugar and poops booze. Really fun when you think about, for example, mead - turning bee barf into yeast poop so we can get loopy on a…