malavika413 Member

That makes sense. I wish he could see it that way--but unfortunately he views me rejecting the cafeteria's American cuisine as rejecting his culture. I mean, if he or his family was to cook something, I'd at least choke down a bite, but come on.

This. My boobs are the only part of my body I like--if they go I'm not losing any more weight, chubbiness be damned. I have wide hips and no butt, so I don't know what kind of weight I'll lose there.

...yes. You're right. I wanted to see a counselor, but my availability conflicts with the hours at the counseling center. I'll need to work on these things on my own.

Your first paragraph is spot on. My relationship is wonderful and we both want to get married soon after graduation. As a result, I don't want to slight him or disrespect him. I am very curious about trying new things but I'm afraid of embarrassing myself--comes down to extremely low self-esteem, which I've had forever.

Thanks for the advice. This is the source of most of my arguments with BF--being afraid to try new things. He's been trying to take me ice skating or to try video games or to join new clubs, but I refuse, so we spend every weekend watching netflix or doing homework. Yep, still can't drive. My campus is in a very small…

Well, I mean, I always went with him--he didn't come home with clothes for me. But since I can't drive and I never had a source of money, he bought everything. It was less patriarchal and more him wanting me to be modest and decent.

I'm in one club and I have a part-time job. There are many things I'd love to try--dancing, playing instruments, crafts, etc. But I'm very wary about trying new things. I don't have many talents, and I hate failing at things.

It's taken me a long time to realize this, but I don't really want to go to parties. It's just that college hasn't been all that fun, and I'm wondering if what I'm missing is the party atmosphere. I don't really have ways to "have fun on my own terms", at least now that I'm away from home.

Definitely right about that. I dislike college and getting older, and I guess it manifests itself in many different ways. I've never really had to make any decisions, so having to make some (even insignificant things like partying or wearing a certain outfit) is difficult.

I understand that. BF doesn't control me--in fact, sometimes he gets uncomfortable when I ask for permission. But I'm much more comfortable that way, saves me from making too many decisions.

I am Indian, born and raised in America. BF is an Irish Catholic. My parents are actually much less conservative than typical Indian parents--at least they let me go to prom and pick out a few dress options. Dad had the final say, though. They're fine with my relationship, btw.

The fact that my dad bought my clothes (because that's common in my culture) or that I'm reluctant to wear a couple of revealing dresses? I'm not trying to goad you, I'm just curious--I don't often hear this point of view.

No religious influence. BF and I are technically interfaith, but neither of us practice. Traditional families, though.

Not a religious issue, but I grew up in a conservative household. My father bought all my clothes--including prom dresses. Now that I'm away I've bought a couple outfits he wouldn't have liked, but I still am nervous to wear them because BF is just as conservative. They're just clothes in the end, not worth ruining a…

No, not really. He does if it involves breaking plans or something, but otherwise he has his own interests and likes to pursue them. I don't really have a lot of hobbies or activities, so when something does come up I like to ask permission first. Also, outfits aren't really an issue with men, so he doesn't ask me if…

Yeah, I agree with you on the aftereffects. My roommate parties 4x a week, and she's usually exhausted afterwards and sleeps till noon the next day. I can't do that--I have many early morning classes.

Hmm, this is interesting. Granted I haven't really been in a relationship before, I was just trying to be polite and considerate to BF by asking his opinion on my actions. Many of my friends also ask their boyfriends for permission--some are very independent types that just do things, but I'm not that independent.

His friends? Typical teenage boys. I know at least 2 girls that dropped out of the dance because their boyfriends said no. I don't have a boyfriend like that. Sure, I asked him first if it was okay, but I'm pretty sure most people do that.

Once again, he has never forbidden me from doing anything. He merely expressed his opinions regarding partying and alcohol. In fact, he's a lot less protective than some guys I know. I danced on stage yesterday and there was a booty-shaking part to the dance, and ALL his friends were saying "how could you let her do that?…

I don't want to dump him. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me!

I guess I don't really know what I want to do. I'm used to making these sorts of choices for other people. I don't really have a lot of strong opinions, I generally just go with what people want me to do.

There are plenty of real conflicts in my life. Granted, I'm very lucky for what I have--but when you're depressed it's difficult to see those things in times of stress. I wrote that comment out of exam frustration--finals are around the corner here. (No, I'm not thinking of going to parties during finals week, that would…

I'm neurotic, yes. Annoying, yes. Self-centered? I don't think so, but then again you don't know me from anything other than this thread. There's just a lot of things pulling me in different directions. It's not so much about the party than the kind of person I want to be. Here, there's a sharp division between those who…

I can't weigh anything at all because I eat from a college dining hall. I rely on the calorie info they post online, and I tend to overestimate calories if I serve myself at the buffet.

I love dancing, actually. But not in clubs--BF wouldn't go with me anyway and I'm not about to dance with anyone else. BF hates dancing, which is unfortunate--especially when I wanted to join a swing club last year. Oh well, we all have to make compromises.

My frustration wasn't in respect to the party. I'm not that self-centered.

Thanks for the anecdote, definitely an interesting perspective. And yes, that's him--he's adorable. :)

Thank you for all the advice! You look great in that outfit, by the way. It wouldn't work for me, tucked-in shirts make me look wide. But it looks great on you!

The last thing I want is attention from other men. I'm not sexy, and I really don't want to be sexy to anyone. It's hard enough accepting mild compliments from BF.

It's just that people say college is the best time of your life. For me, if that's the case, the rest of my life is going to be utter hell. Eh, maybe I'm just whining.