malavika413 Member

Oh wow. Yeah, I can't imagine BF ever doing anything like that. He isn't a fan of sexy clothes in general, so I don't own any.

Yeah, parties here are not like that, unfortunately. Lots of boundaries crossed and lots of sleeping around. Even my friends that don't drink have had to deal with a lot of unwanted advances and scary situations. It's a bit daunting, but at the same time I want to go and see just what it's like. I may end up running out…

That makes sense, thanks. My friends tell me the only thing they've faced is a lot of unwanted touching, so I should be okay.

Hmm, that makes sense. Is pepper spray the best thing to carry, then? Or should I not carry anything?

Yeah, I see your point. I do like to ask for his permission, though. I know he'd do the same for me. It's just courteous to do so, in my opinion.

I agree. It would make me feel better if I knew these guys personally, but I don't have any male friends. I'll just have to take my friends' word on who's safe and who isn't.

No frats at my school. We live in single sex dorms, and the parties are hosted at the male dorms. Girls hop from dorm to dorm looking for parties. That's what my friends tell me, and that's what I've observed. It's the only real form of social life around here.

Yeah, it confused me too. But I've been told by all my friends that if you bring a guy along, they won't let you into the dorm parties. The guys have to be invited specifically, girls can just show up because they're girls.

It was this article, as well as many others like it, that have my boyfriend so worried. I'm not exactly strong, so I wouldn't be able to fight anyone off. I'm pretty sure my boyfriend's going to make me carry his pocket knife and a container of pepper spray.

Thank you for your kind words. I've decided to go to a party, but most likely I'll avoid alcohol. I've talked to BF about it, and he has agreed.

Yeah, I agree with you. None of the parties my friends have described involve illicit drugs. Glad to see that you're still having fun after having a child and getting older. I didn't think people had fun after all that happened--my parents' idea of fun these days is watching a movie on TV every weekend.

I'm the woman in the stripes, other one is my 14 year old sister. Best: hair Worst: camera angle

I appreciate what you have to say (though I've never considered partying as a networking opportunity, I would think it would have the opposite effect). I do have low self-esteem, but I don't love my boyfriend because he's the first person to be interested in me. I love him because he's kind, smart, considerate, etc. He's…

He is definitely not a controller. I had a long talk with him and he just wants me to be safe, but he won't monitor my decisions, nor will he berate me for them. I have a trusted friend that he also knows that has offered to take me to a party, and I've accepted. BF and I have a perfectly loving relationship--nowhere close…

Scratch that--I just spoke to him. He's not happy, but he admits he can't control my life and my decisions.

Wow, that's not very nice. But not everyone in life is nice, I know. What's wrong in seeking approval from those you care about? The fact is, not everyone would be okay with me going to a party. Even if I didn't touch alcohol, the man I love would be very distraught about it. I told him I have plans to go, if he vehemently…

I just informed my boyfriend that at the next opportunity, I'm going to attend a party but be responsible about it. We'll see what he has to say. No regrets!

Thank you for the compliment. :) Unfortunately, this school is very limited demographic-wise. Most men ignore ethnic minorities here, or find them completely unattractive. So in terms of this college, I'm unattractive. It's unfortunate--hopefully I'll move to a more diverse area when I have the chance, and thankfully my BF…

These aren't bars, though. There are actually no bars near us (very small town). Just cramped dorm parties, that's the only real 'social scene'.

Interesting that you mention this--I'm premed as well. BF is engineering, so obviously we'll have an issue come graduation, but we come from families that have all married young *fingers crossed*

I'd invite him along, but boys don't typically attend these parties unless they're the hosts or friends of the guys hosting. I go to a school with single-sex dorms, so these parties revolve around "girls allowed, boys stay out". It sucks.

This made me smile. I'm not losing my individuality over him, though. I've never had a guy give me a second look before, and it's very flattering to be liked/loved. It makes me happy to make him happy. It makes me very happy to be his girlfriend and I don't want to create conflict that could be avoided by avoiding parties.…

He deals with his stress very well, but as a girlfriend I'm around for his comfort, not to stress him out. I could go without telling him, but seeing as we spend weekends together, he'd wonder where I was. It also feels dishonest--doing something that he loathes and not telling.

I don't know what college parties are like, but I don't think there are games here (that would be fun, though). I don't really know how to dress for certain occasions. My friends have very different bodies than me, so they can get away with certain clothes. So I tend to stick to XL sweaters. Your outfits and accessories…

The formal hasn't happened yet (I got the dates mixed up), but I discovered I couldn't return the dress with cleavage I had bought, so I'm stuck with it. I may or may not wear it. He may be embarrassed if I do. Additionally, I'm not sure what the boundary is in dressing 'cute', and dressing 'like a slut'. I feel I'd make a…

He's not controlling. If I asked to go he'd let me, but he'd just worry. He's always stressed due to his major, family situation and jobs, I wouldn't want to add more stress to his life.

I dunno...just always figured my appearance is for others. Not really sure how else to answer this question.

Perhaps. Though if I was doing things in accordance with my upbringing, I wouldn't even be dating.

I mean, if I wasn't taken I'd wear sweats everywhere and go with my hair unbrushed and makeup ignored. It's comfortable, but I keep up appearances because of my relationship. It doesn't feel right to dress myself up for someone other than him.

That's a good idea. I have plenty of baggy t-shirts, that would work.