Maitria Member

I don't think you are eating enough. It sounds like starvation mode.

Thank you! I didn't want to blame the meds, but I felt like a sugar beast. (I am also all swollen.) I can't have honey, so I will figure something else out if needed (hopefully not.)

Does anyone have peer reviewed studies about orthorexia? I didn't think it had been clinically established yet. If it hasn't, how can we discuss prevalence or epidemic status with any clarity? I apologize if I am wrong on it's status.

I got prescribed Sulfasalazine. It's a start. My BMI is around 22 I think, so as long as I don't gain too much, it should be ok.

I really wanted to like the black bean noodles for the protein. No could do. I do like the red lentil pastas, though.

I would personally vote for the pool-but I would check to see how warm they keep it before signing up. I canceled my membership because the pool was on the minimum warmth and it would make my joints stiffen. I also had problems with the pool water drying out my eyes and ears.

Weight is ok, though I'd still like to lose a few. It's all been taking a long time to actually get treatment. I might get something next week. I'm in a pretty down in the dumps stage about it all right now.

Hi Vicky-I've also "probably" got RA and Sjogren's but I'm much more at the beginning of things than it sounds like you are.

Welcome! I'm sorry to hear about your struggles.

OP, I'm going to leave this thread now, but I do want to apologize to you if I offended you. I could have explained my perspective in a gentler way; I was pretty blunt. I do want you to know that I didn't mean the word paternal as an insult, though I get that it also didn't sound flattering. :p I don't think you're a bad…

Where did I say that he can't possibly really care about her health? In fact, calling him paternalistic implies that he actually does care. He also cares about himself. I have no problem with that, and it's still relevant to the assumptions others are making about his motives. I'm not the only one reading things into this.…

It's a discussion forum. Conversations evolve, especially when the OP is no longer participating. (Not a criticism of him-I respect that he's probably off doing something better than this.)

Your insinuations don't apply here. If that's your opinion of him, that's your opinion. It's not mine. I don't doubt his interest in health and fitness. I don't think he's one dimensional. My opinion, in my original words, is that he sounds very paternalistic. I'll go ahead and specify "in this area." If he likes cooking,…

He's gotten quite a bit of advice in this thread. What advice he responds to is up to him. He's received a variety of different opinions.

Yes, your opinion and mine are both assumptions. Again, I'll rephrase to suggest that his girlfriend may be perceiving it that way. (I've said "might" and "may" from the beginning.) I don't know that she's taking it that way or that he's acting that way, and you don't know that she isn't and he's not. He asked for advice,…

The end line of his post is "How can I get her more interested in a healthy lifestyle?" He also says the mere thought of her unhealthy lifestyle decreases his sex drive. Let's stop pretending there is a mutual level of interest here. I guarantee you I would get raked over the coals if I made this post about trying to get…

So you are assuming that OP isn't behaving paternalistic? I also never called him controlling. I've said that repeatedly. I think his heart is in the right place, his execution is failing (as exhibited by him needing advice on what to do.) I've got no problem being an *kitten* right along with you. You made an assumption…

I would also receive tons of criticism for trying to get him to do things my way and not letting him find his own way. I assume most adults who talk about something they want to do will ask me if they want my help and find a way that suits them. YMMV.

Ok, I can see how the quote could be interpreted either way. I guess OP can clarify if he wants how often he is asking her to go.

He said both that he asks her every time and that every time she says no.

I have no problem with you eating in moderation. I'm saying that you may not like it if your girlfriend tried to put too much input into your choices and your workouts. I don't think many would. And stop clutching your pearls about me making assumptions-were you not the one who decided what kind of woman I am in a…

I'm not spinning it. I know my husband. He'd be upset or irritated. I wonder how this thread would have gone if the story was changed around to him mentioning wanting to be vegan and me asking what I can do to motivate him and push my vegan options.

No, he actually says that he asks her every time, and every time she says no. She says SHE wants to meal prep, he does it for her. One of "paternal" meanings is to show the nature of kindness and protectiveness of a father. I think his mindset is shifted to a more paternal mindset, and that it's showing in his actions. If…

You said I have no knowledge of you. One of the reasons I assumed you wouldn't want a girlfriend is your frequent talk of eating in a way you choose. I honestly don't think you'd like it if someone were trying to get you to do health and fitness their way instead of in at least a collaborative way. How you eat has a lot to…

In his words: "I work out five times a week, and every time I ask her to join me." I do think he's pestering her, especially based on her responses. I don't think he's an idiot.

You and your wife clearly have an established dynamic. It doesn't come off as machismo when the two of you are on the same page. If she were actively ignoring you or purposely pouring herself a big glass, would you still think you were doing it right?

Yes, making some vegan meals to freeze would be a nice thing to do. Making bids to get him to go vegan because I want it for him more than he does, not so much.

Ok, so we'll add on that I posted that he left all the meals to go moldy and went out to eat instead. Can you then make a reasonable guess?

Ok, we'll go back to you. I did make an assumption. You do put out a lot of bluster about the way you eat on the boards, so I don't think it was necessarily from zero knowledge.

But again, this isn't about the one act of food prepping for her. Starting from the beginning: He's asking her to work out five times a week despite the fact that she always refuses. It's "partially his fault" for her lifestyle because he spoils her. How do I get her to exercise with me or push healthier foods? Push being…