Replies
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I'm nervous! Is there a shallow end?
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Join in on the jet skis but I can't swim. Can I bring floaties?
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Nope. Never seen her in my life.
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You need to get on the same page as us!
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Refused to agree to joint custody arrangement with my ex
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Was using me for my breadsticks
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Good Housekeeping
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Have a contest winning contest
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That drawer full of parmesan cheese packets says otherwise.
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Philosoraptor!
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If I didn't deliver in less than 30 minutes then she wanted it free.
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Is the beard?
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Easily butthurt
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Do you wanna do karate in the garage?
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No cuz then I'll never get rid of him
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Once or twice in the coffee shop
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Why is the rum gone?!?
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I savvy
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I still have a Jack Sparrow costume from Halloween somewhere, can I play?
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Always offered to make my pizza a "Meat Lovers" while winking...
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Current. Can't go wrong with Batman
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Guilty.
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Obsessed with post pizza sex.
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May not have eyes.
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Yes. Unless it's a tickle fight
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Grabbing a stack of napkins from the bar and making it rain
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We were at Olive Garden, how many times do I have to tell you they don't have fries!?!?!?
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Probably
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I don't know who you are, I don't know what you want. If it's money, I can tell I have none but what I do have is a special set of skills
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Keep stealing food from the table next to us.