My 2016 Transformation

kmratliff

Someone from on a different thread suggested that I use the journals as a way to track my progress.

Here is what I posted in the other thread:

I'm looking to loose about 90-100 pounds this year. I've been on MFP for awhile and have never been very committed. I like my body as it is and have accomplished personal fitness goals like running 5 and 10k races despite my size. I've let myself believe that my weight is not an issue.

What has motivated me to want to lose this weight is my realization that the regardless of my good blood pressure, and numbers, and fitness, the weight is holding me back. My knees hurt. Sometimes my ankles hurt. It is just too much weight for my frame. My husband and I hope to adopt soon and I want to be able to play with my kid and not get winded. I want to sit in the antique rocking chair we have and not worry about breaking it.

My plan is simple right now: log daily, stay under my calorie goal, exercise or walk for 30 minutes a day.

I'm finally ready to commit. I'm really afraid that I won't be able to stay motivated.

kmratliff

Day 2 Update
Last night before I went to bad, I entered in the food I plan to eat for most of the day today. I work from home and so it is pretty easy to stay on track if I actually try and prepare. The issue is that often I forget to eat. So I think that may be my biggest challenge. I was really tempted to skip breakfast, but I know that skipping meals is part of why I'm so overweight in the first place.

I will skip meals, then over eat, or just not eat all day. Which I'm sure destroys my metabolism. I always thought it was funny how people assume that those who are larger eat massive amounts of food. In my case (and the case of many other women I know), it is the exact opposite. The more stressed and tired I am, the less that I want to eat. Unfortunately, when I finally do get around to eating a meal, it is often very calorie dense, salty, cheesy, or sweet.

We are on a tight budget, so tossing out food just because it is not low-cal is not an option. In this first few weeks, I'm going to focus on making good choices with the food that I have on hand, by eating smaller portions, not skipping meals, and logging everything I put in mouth.

Freedom from Emotional Eating and Truth Journaling
I read a book last month that was very transformative called Freedom from Emotional Eating. It is written from a Christian perspective and gives some great scriptures and tools to combat the trap of eating to cope with emotions.

I chose to read this book because I knew that my issues with weight-loss were mental and emotional. I know how to lose weight. I just haven't bothered to do it because I've lied to myself about my problems with food.

The author suggests that you do something called "truth journaling". The process is quite effective. You write about a situation where you didn't adhere to your eating boundaries (like the time you ate two cookies, but you were only supposed to eat one), and explore the emotions and the truth (facts) around the incident.

From time to time, I will share from my truth journaling exercises. It will keep me accountable and offer some humor as I write about why I'm mad that I can't have another bowl of ice cream, lol!

mimi2974

Good job! I have only been logging for about 3 weeks. I bought a digital scale over a week ago, and it helps to make sure I am eating the correct amounts of food.

7mandyc

The hardest part for me is staying motivated. I think once you pass 2 weeks of logging everyday you will get used to it and want to . set up reminders all over the place . maybe a post it on your mirror ! I wish you luck on your journey . you can do it !!!!!!! Check out my blog. I need to loose 150 . I'm with you

jessicakahn606

I am glad you found a book to help you through this process! I look forward to helping you stay motivated! I find motivation is hard especially when there are so many sweets in the world! good luck! You can do it! We all can!

50extra

kmr, I can relate a little bit to what you are saying. I never let my weight bother me when I was younger because I was athletic, I played good hockey and summer was always able to keep up with friends. It wasn't until I got a bit older that I noticed my ankles and knees hurting, or that I get red faced when I tie my shoelaces.

I do have some good news for you in regards to being on a tight budget and needing to eat more. Go out and buy oatmeal. It is literally pennies per serving and it is fantastic in the morning. Eating oatmeal for breakfast as soon as I wake up helped me lose weight the other times I was working at it and I am using it now. A large bag of Oats is a couple bucks and will last you several months. I use quaker quick oats, put some in a bowl and then into the microwave for 2 minutes. The reason I use quick oats is so that I can never tell myself I don't have time and then eat junk for breakfast. This definitely kicks my metabolism in the butt because I start to get hungry 2.5-3 hours after I eat it. If I wake up and don't eat, I can easily go 6-7 hours without eating telling me my metabolism shuts down. Eating a protein with the oatmeal will help you stay fuller longer. I currently don't do this but in the past i would mix in a scoop of chocolate protein mix. Protein powder can be expensive and detrimental depending on what you buy so it might not be in your cards right now.

One of the strategies that I am trying to do on here is staying under my calorie recommendation NOT taking into consideration the workouts. I feel that the calorie burn in most of the exercising I look up is way too high so by staying below your daily allowance without using it, will help guarantee a result.

Also I have vowed to be completely honest with my posting. I WILL not hide food even if it is a catastrophic failure like eating a bowl of cereal followed by a toasted bagel and peanut butter at 2am just because I'm bored.

Good luck on this, just stick too it and you will do great!

kmratliff

@50extra thank you for the suggestion. It must be fate, because on Monday I made a big pot of oatmeal that I've been eating all week long. It does fill you up. I noticed that I wasn't getting enough protein in so today I added in an egg with veggies and avocado. I couldn't finish but I'm nice and full and energized! Thank you so much for the advice!

@jessicakahn606 @mimi2974 @7mandyc Thank you for the support!

kmratliff

Day 5
Two days ago a giant box of chocolates showed up. My husband just got a promotion and went to Buffalo to corporate headquarters for training. To say congrats they sent him a box of chocolate. It honestly makes no sense because most men are not into sweets (at least not enough to pounds of chocolate). I am convinced that the universe is plotting against me and wants me to be fat. LOL. I was fine day one. I ate a few pieces for a snack, logged it, I was fine. Then yesterday I got off schedule, missed breakfast, ate lunch late, got bored and before I knew it, I was crushing these weird sponge toffee chocolate things like I had never seen food. I logged the damage, but that doesn't make it ok. I'm not feeling overly guilty, but at the same time, I know that I need to set myself up to win and get this freaking candy out of my house. I asked him to take it to work, and he forgot. So it may end up in the trash...

More on Why I'm Doing This
As I get older, I am acutely aware of the fact that life is short. I lost several friends last year, one to cancer, another went to bed not feeling well and never woke up. The one who died suddenly was the exact same age as me. Her birthday was only a few days after mine. I had just spoken to her and mailed her a gift that she never got. It really rocked me. There are nights when I lay in bed wondering, was today my last day? I am not trying to be morbid. My fear is not so much that I will die, but that I will pass away and not accomplish the things that I know God gave me to do. I want to fulfill my purpose, and that is really hard when you're dragging an extra 100 pounds with you everywhere. I also don't want to put myself into an early grave by not bothering to care for myself. I don't believe that weight is the sole indicator of health. With the exception of my weight, I am perfectly healthy. But why risk it?

My Goals for Next Week
Next week I want to start drinking more water. I'm exercising and staying on plan with my calories. But I notice that I am barely getting in 8 glasses of water each day. I would like to start drinking half my weight in water which would be 125 ounces, so my goal for next week is to double water consumption.

50extra

No problem that's about the only healthy eating advice I'm capable of giving. I'm in a panic because I only have a couple days worth of oatmeal left but 11 days of work. I haven't seen it for sale in any of the stores around here.

How have you made out with the rest of it over the last couple days? Have you been able to eat on a more regular schedule? Have you been able to eat some of the calorie dense foods in your house at a reasonable pace? No skipping meals I hope?

totaldetermination

hi,
I love the idea of truth journaling. I think it would force me to be really accountable (to myself) for my choices.

After 2 successful years on MFP, I still don't keep certain foods (eg chocolate) in the house. I do eat them but i buy them in single portion packages and only when they fit my calories. If that is not an option for you, then I know of other people who have a food safe and literally lock the food up, and give someone else in the household the key.

On the one hand, I think its important to be able to resist. But they say that willpower is a limited resource so I don't use mine up in situations I can avoid. There are enough situations that I can't avoid - I let those be the lessons that teach me control.

Good luck increasing your water next week .

kmratliff

@50extra today was much better. I forced myself to get up when the alarm went off and take a walk and pray. If I don't start my day off on time and get out the bed, I will sleep until 8:55 and log in for work. I'll get caught up with emails and phone calls then look up and it is noon and I haven't eaten, prayed, showered, anything lol. So I decided that moving forward I have to just get up on time, no excuses. If I can do that, everything else is much easier.

Speaking of nutrient dense meals using staples on hand...Last night I made THE BEST DINNER EVER! I made my own Chipotle and it was cheap and healthy. I got some boneless skinless chicken thighs and trimmed off the fat and cut them in half. They weren't that cheap actually... but cheaper than chicken breast and more tasty. I marinated them in chill powder, oregano, cumin, cayenne and sea salt. Then cooked them on really high heat in a cast iron pan (so I don't have use much oil) and let them char. I made black beans, some sauteed peppers and onions, rice, and fresh salsa from scratch. I love cooking so I didn't mind doing it all from scratch. I made a burrito bowl with all the toppings and some lettuce. OMG best meal ever. It was under 500 calories and super filling, high protein, and nutritious. I only used 1/2 cup of cooked rice and that was more than enough for one bowl. Give it a shot. If you already have beans and rice, you're half way there.

@totaldetermination you really should think about getting the book. It was life changing. It has come into play in many other areas of my life, not just with food. I learned a lot about myself and how I self sabotage and make excuses. I had to get real and admit that I hadn't lost weight before because I didn't want to. Period. I agree that keeping crap in the house is a set up. If you buy half a gallon of ice cream, you are probably going to eat it all at some point. And who needs to eat that much ice cream, ever?

kmratliff

I've been gone for awhile! But not idle. My husband and I got one of those phone calls you dread. It was the ER and his mother was not expected to make it. Praise God she has recovered. But we were moments from planning her funeral which really took a toll on us both. I've learned a lot about myself through this. I've seen that I have a hard time bouncing back when something interrupts my routine or when stress/trauma occurs.

At first I packed my meals and would power walk in the hospital. But after weeks 2 and 3 and then the trips to the nursing facility once she was released, it was not even on my mind. The good news is that I haven't really gained any weight. I think I'm up 1 or 2 pounds, but considering that I basically have done no exercise, I'm glad. In the past I would have eaten non stop to deal with the stress, so I'm patting myself on the back and ready to un-pause my journey and get back to it.

I'm excited to see what the next month will hold. I hope to see some big losses on the scale.

smiphette

Sounds like a rough patch. I am glad mom is doing better and that you are hanging in there.

LottieStanley

Glad everything turned out ok.