I never got your name, or is cutegurl326 your real name?

OK, so i decided it was finally time to get back out there and meet some new people. The quickest way to do this is to revert back to the good ole OKC. Let face it, it's just the easy/lazy way to meet a bunch of people in a short amount of time. The quality of people can be questionable, but I still think a lot of quality people do online dating (look at all of us Single Peeps who do it!).

So, I sent out a few emails to people I'm interested in. Some didn't reply back, but two really cute girls did. Both girls were pretty engaging, but after sending 2-3 e-mails back and forth, I realized that neither had told me their name. Whenever I write an e-mail, I always end it by putting " --Mike" right at the very end. This absolutely drives me nuts when people don't do this. How do I know who I should address when I reply back to their e-mail? Does this drive anybody else nuts too?

I'm sure this topic has been covered before, but what are your pet peeves when it comes to online dating?

totally understand your frustration............cos i feel the same about it!!
fran xx

That is definitely my first question out of the gate...I want to know who I am 'talking' to - This is a must...If they don't want to give it then, see ya!! Most guys don't have an issue giving out there names though - I think it's mainly women for whatever reason...Maybe they think it adds mystery or something silly like that...lol

Just ask their name on first contact....I do - Pet peeve gone!! :happy:

I've noticed very few women give out their names easily. I've stopped signing my name to messages until they reply back a few times, after which I'll say something like.

BTW, my name is ..., what's yours?

I've still had 1 girl (5 or 6 messages in) say she didn't feel comfortable giving our her name that early, but for the most part it works.... or they just stop replying.

Sort of on the same note would be receiving a message asking to chat or get to know each other and the person doesn`t have a pic of themselves in their profile.

Mike,

As a woman with a unique first name living in a small town (40,000) I do not immediately give up my name. Even with that I have been stalked, had people get my business cards texting my work phone until I threatened the police, and even had a client come into my office and ask me about my profile. I use my real pictures so people recognize me easily. Furthermore, being a Southern Belle in Kansas makes me sort of pop out in a crowd. So I will usually sign off with CW my initials. Guys are lucky. Y'all don't have to worry about the psycho factor as much as we do.

After a few letters back and forth I will let go with my real name. Plus I will get the persons last name and google them. Yes, I want to make sure I am safe. I am not from Kansas and don't have any other way to make sure the person is who they say they are. I also then relinquish my own last name. I am upfront with this and I have found that the creepers and scammers are the ones who object to this. The others understand that a single woman has to protect herself. Plus most of my dates have been out of town because I live in the middle of nowhere Kansas.

I also found that OKC has a lot of nasty , skanky perverts. I thought paying for Match.com would provide more security because it was paid for. Instead I found it to be worse. I have had much better responses and quality individuals on POF. I actually had areally nice date this past weekend even got flowers. :blushing:

Good luck,

Cooper (see how my name stands out and leaves me easy to find)

I must admit I was guilty of not signing my real name during the first few emails. After I decided I liked talking to the guy and wanted to get to know him more, then I would divulge a little more information. It depends on the content of your emails too. If they are just a few liners, basically small talk, the girl might not feel compelled to share much on her end either. For me... and this may sound stupid,,,, I just felt a little more secure staying anonymous until I felt comfortable with the person I was "chatting" with.

Give it time

This bugs me a little too. Although it is part of a long list of things that bug me about online dating!

You are lucky if your only pet peeve with online dating is that you dont get a womans first name..
Women need to be a little more cautious than men.
I will sometimes use my first initial to start with. Once I give you my first name its cause I am comfortable enough in talking to you..
Meet enough psycho/weirdos and you will get cautious as well. Psychos/weirdos arent just male.. lol

The only time I was bothered by a woman not giving out her name was because she had so much other information available in her profile. If it was my intent to stalk her, I could have done it without her name. She listed what she did for a living, that she did some volunteer work and that she was active in her church. She had pictures in business attire outside a building with a sign for a business consistent with her job, another one with a sign for APL in the background, and another one with the banner for some sort of event sponsored by a church in the background. I pointed that out to her, she gave me her name and asked me some questions that put me off so I stopped talking to her. I think she still has those pics up though.

I did that once to a someone I was talking to online who I was beocming friends with (wasn't much interest on either side beyond that). She was skittish about about giving out her name because of stalkers. And so when I told her I was only asking because I thought greeting her with "Hey You" when she popped online was a bit odd after several exchanges and if I wanted to stalk her I could have already after she told me her hometown, age, current town, nationionality, med school, undergrad school, and that she was just published in a specific med journal with a paper about something I no longer remember that I would already know if I was even the slightest bit stalkerish.

While I tend to use my name after he's used his, if he doesn't then I don't (we probably won't meet anyway). What's so hard about just asking? Why, when men constantly remind women that they aren't mind readers (so stop dropping hints and tell the man what you want) wouldn't they just come out and ask?

I will sometimes use my first initial to start with. Once I give you my first name its cause I am comfortable enough in talking to you..

I can see a "Wheel of Fortune" scenario taking shape here. You start by signing off "K," later it evolves to KB, then KBRY, later he wins a free vowel, chooses "I", and guesses correctly that your name is KIMBERLY. At that point you will go out with him.

--P

I usually try to give my name in the first email, I personally would find it hilarious if someone refused to give me their name. Especially if their profile said they were down to earth like most do. I'd probably just tell them good luck but I'm looking for someone a little more outgoing.

I can't tell you how many times I have had to convince someone that my name really is Cinnamon, or in real life whip out my ID to prove it.

You just need to find a man named "Bun". Or "Rolls". Or perhaps even "Twists"?

--P