Go ahead and bench press- you will just end up having to be a bit more careful and really, at lower weights, you can just do the roll of shame to get out from under it (you just roll the bar down your torso and into your lap so you can sit up). But mostly - when it starts to get heavy just ask yourself if you think you are going to be able to make it through the next press. If you think you can't, normally I'd tell you to try and push through (because a lot of hte time you can!) but without a spotter, just play it safe and put the bar back up.

You can also use a power rack to act as a built in 'spotter' for you, but it requires you to drag a bench into the rack so depending on what your gym setup is like this may not be possible. (also, at my gym the power racks do not have enough holes drilled in them, I wouldn't be able to use them for that).

At some point you might pick up a training buddy. My husband is a total couch potato but he liked the simplicity of SL 5x5 and he did feel a bit threatened by my extreme sexy-getting, plus since it starts very light it doesn't hurt at all or take too long in the beginning and that helped him gain the confidence to keep going. Yesterday he texted me at work to tell me that it was weird (but awesome) that he could feel muscle in his arm even without a post-workout pump or flexing. Also he noticed that the guys at the gym that have hte look he wants (slim, strong, not huge muscles) are also the only ones who squat properly or deadlift at all.

And yes, you will burn fat - more importantly than that though (I know, how could anything be more important than that...) the minor muscle gains you will make as a beginner will make your fat look better. And the post gym pump helps that too - getting a nice firm layer under the fat makes a huge improvement in how your body looks.

So lastly - Calories... Are you sure you're maintaining on 1400? I am childless (so no chasing kids around) and have a desk job and desk hobbies, and I have no problem maintaining on 2200ish calories a day. And I weigh 165 so I'm a bit smaller than you as well. Have you ever taken a week or two to strictly weigh your food (and measure your fats) and see if you're really eating the amount you think? Anyway... if you haven't done that yet, I recommend you either do that or at least do it for the foods that are particularly high cal like nuts/pb/oil/etc. If that works out to still be right - I'd add 150 calories to rest days and 300 calories to lifting days. Do it for 6 weeks, see what happens. At *worst* you'd be gaining half a pound over that time - at best you'll continue to maintain at those amounts, and then I'd recommend you add another 100 to your rest days and try to push it up.

Our metabolisms change to meet our needs - eating low for long periods of time will cause your body to slow your metabolism down in order to preserve itself. I assume you don't want to eat 1400 for the rest of your life - now is the time to start pushing it back higher and see what your body can support.

I don't weigh my food every day, or anymore (and anyway I eat out ALL the time so its not practical for me) but I'd say if you think you are maintaining on such a low amount, either something is a bit wonky or you are VERY sedentary (unlikely with children and horses!) or else you are underestimating -- high fat stuff is the danger zone really, like nuts and things.

(also re: veggie protein, have you had seitan? Also try swapping out your grain/carb option at meals for Quinoa, adds a bit more protein than most grains)

I agree with both responses; you especially need to eat when you're lifting. I found this out the hard way and also joined the EM2WL group. Tameko is awesome and very informative about SL. It's a great program. I've been doing it for about 3 mos now and lifting weight that I thought I'd never do. I thought I was mad for even attempting it, but my husband was the one who pushed it. Give it a chance. You can do it!!! Good luck hitting the gym.

I started off using dumbbells for the bench press, and I used them when I was on my own without a spotter. You can't lift as much weight with dumbbells but it's still a good exercise if you don't want to use the bar.