What's a good rejection line for someone you may see again

Options
So I went to a wedding of a really close friend this weekend and got asked out by 2 different guys from the wedding that I will most likely see again. The first one that asked me, we already had tried that first date and it did not go well. He is a great person but I don't want anymore then a friend from him so I told him we can go out to lunch sometime only as friends.

Now the second one, I have no attraction to, he is younger then me and I am just not close to being interested in. He is my good friend's brother's good friend so I will most likely see him when we go out again but not very often. I am not sure what to respond to this since I have no interest, plus I have a lot of quality dates that I could set up with guys from eharmony that I would be more interested in seeing.

I am horrible at telling guys no for the first date and usually agree if I know them (strangers I have an easy time saying no too), but this one I see nothing happening and I don't want him to waste his money on me. So what would be the best rejection line to give him....

Replies

  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Options
    Just say I'm not interested at leave it at that. You could add in what you said on here about seeing nothing happening and I don't want him to waste his money on me. He'll appreciate that you weren't one to soak him for a freebie of some kind.

    Be real.
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
    Options
    Woo hoo. It's raining men.

    I would tell Mr Unwanted that you loved the wedding, want to have a very similar wedding yourself, then ask him how many kids he wants to have. That should do it... ;-)

    Seriously, why don't you just go a bit crazy and tell him the actual truth? That you like him but aren't interested in dating him. If he asks for specifics, mention his age, mention you're dating someone else (which is true, and then some), etc., etc.

    I'm not sure why this is so hard. What will make it worse is going out with him, getting his hopes up, then blowing him off.

    A quick, decisive strike, bringing all of your force to bear, is the most humane approach.

    --P
  • BelMckenzie
    Options
    Woo hoo. It's raining men.

    I would tell Mr Unwanted that you loved the wedding, want to have a very similar wedding yourself, then ask him how many kids he wants to have. That should do it... ;-)

    Seriously, why don't you just go a bit crazy and tell him the actual truth? That you like him but aren't interested in dating him. If he asks for specifics, mention his age, mention you're dating someone else (which is true, and then some), etc., etc.

    I'm not sure why this is so hard. What will make it worse is going out with him, getting his hopes up, then blowing him off.

    A quick, decisive strike, bringing all of your force to bear, is the most humane approach.

    --P

    It is raining men and it still isn't taking my mind off of the one that I really only want to be with.

    Alright, I'll be vague and if he asks I'll follow up with more. I just want to make it as painless as possible.
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
    Options
    I'd say something like "I just don't think we'd be a good fit." Then if he wants to push you just start being more and more honest with him.
  • BelMckenzie
    Options
    I'd say something like "I just don't think we'd be a good fit." Then if he wants to push you just start being more and more honest with him.

    Thank you, and I just used that one!!
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
    Options
    "Thank you but,no thanks...I just don`t see it working out."

    Polite,simple and don`t try to cushion it with all kinds of niceties.
    "You are a great guy..." is at this point all I need to heat to know what is coming but someone else may try to read hope into it.
  • Fruch02
    Fruch02 Posts: 104 Member
    Options
    Just end all communication. They will get the hint haha.
  • jesusHchris
    jesusHchris Posts: 1,405 Member
    Options
    Hopefully they both show. Pull each one aside individually and tell them you are banging the other one, but really like this one better. Let them know how the other guy is physically abusive and you are afraid to leave him.

    Weddings can get really boring without this sort of drama. Everyone will appreciate it.
  • BelMckenzie
    Options
    Hopefully they both show. Pull each one aside individually and tell them you are banging the other one, but really like this one better. Let them know how the other guy is physically abusive and you are afraid to leave him.

    Weddings can get really boring without this sort of drama. Everyone will appreciate it.

    The wedding already happened.
  • BelMckenzie
    Options
    He came back with "why aren't we a good fit? I was just wanting to grab a bite with you to get to know you better."

    Really, why would a guy want to know why I am rejecting him? Plus to me usually grabbing food with a guy usually means he wants more but I don't have guy friends besides my ex but even he crosses the line at times and I have to correct him. Do guys actually do this to meet new friends?

    I have not replied and don't know if I will since I feel like he will keep pestering me to go out.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Options
    Do what you are most comfortable with. Texting is the most impersonal format possible and not responding to a text is perceived as non interest. So if you just leave it here and don't respond, you're good. He should get the point. Not sure who your cell carrier is, but some carriers allow for number blocks if things get out of hand.

    I can't speak for all men but if I am asking a woman to a meal, that means I am interested in her as more than just friends.

    Best wishes!
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
    Options
    He came back with "why aren't we a good fit? I was just wanting to grab a bite with you to get to know you better."

    Really, why would a guy want to know why I am rejecting him? Plus to me usually grabbing food with a guy usually means he wants more but I don't have guy friends besides my ex but even he crosses the line at times and I have to correct him. Do guys actually do this to meet new friends?

    I have not replied and don't know if I will since I feel like he will keep pestering me to go out.


    "It's hard to define, but the spark just isn't there. You seem very nice, and I'm sure you'll find someone soon enough. Take care!"

    And if he writes back after that, ignore all his emails.

    --P
  • BelMckenzie
    Options
    Do what you are most comfortable with. Texting is the most impersonal format possible and not responding to a text is perceived as non interest. So if you just leave it here and don't respond, you're good. He should get the point. Not sure who your cell carrier is, but some carriers allow for number blocks if things get out of hand.

    I can't speak for all men but if I am asking a woman to a meal, that means I am interested in her as more than just friends.

    Best wishes!

    Not even texting, messaging on Facebook. I didn't give him my number.
  • Mellie289
    Mellie289 Posts: 1,191 Member
    Options
    He came back with "why aren't we a good fit? I was just wanting to grab a bite with you to get to know you better."

    Really, why would a guy want to know why I am rejecting him? Plus to me usually grabbing food with a guy usually means he wants more but I don't have guy friends besides my ex but even he crosses the line at times and I have to correct him. Do guys actually do this to meet new friends?

    I have not replied and don't know if I will since I feel like he will keep pestering me to go out.
    Ugh! I had someone on PoF ask me to meet up for coffee and I turned him down. He messaged back like this. To me, it puts me off the person even more because he wants to argue with you why you should give him a chance.

    I am betting that persistence occasionally pays off and some women will give in and say yes to a date. I don't think it's a means to meet new friends though. If he wants to become friends, he could invite you along to dinner or a movie when there's a group of people going instead of a one-on-one thing.
  • jesusHchris
    jesusHchris Posts: 1,405 Member
    Options
    The wedding already happened.

    Apparently I can't read, sorry. :)

    Find a new wedding, invite them both, and try it then. Better yet, throw your own wedding with a third guy and repeat.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Options
    Do what you are most comfortable with. Texting is the most impersonal format possible and not responding to a text is perceived as non interest. So if you just leave it here and don't respond, you're good. He should get the point. Not sure who your cell carrier is, but some carriers allow for number blocks if things get out of hand.

    I can't speak for all men but if I am asking a woman to a meal, that means I am interested in her as more than just friends.

    Best wishes!

    Not even texting, messaging on Facebook. I didn't give him my number.

    I think Facebook and email is more personal than the text messages because it is easier (well, at least for me) to write longer form messages on there. Facebook can be more personal if the person is a friend and you have not filtered the view of the other person. But a Facebook message is still text based and anything that is text based is the least personal mode of communication.

    In a way, I think all forms of text based communication have eroded social skills, but that's a different topic.

    But yes, you can easily ignore a Facebook message. :smile:
  • BelMckenzie
    Options
    The wedding already happened.

    Apparently I can't read, sorry. :)

    Find a new wedding, invite them both, and try it then. Better yet, throw your own wedding with a third guy and repeat.

    Ideally, I would like to throw my own wedding with a third guy, not involve either of those 2 guys and live life happily ever after. However, I until I find that guy, I still won't be causing that kind of drama.