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farmers_daughter
farmers_daughter Posts: 1,632 Member
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What am I doing wrong???

I'm not a "refined lady" by any means...hell I don't know if you really should call me a lady, I cuss like a sailor, I tell dirty jokes, I fart, I drink beer... I HOWEVER, do have manners and think I know when to hold all of the above said in...like at work and at different functions that have nice people at them....but given the right crowd, yeah, I'm just a midwestern country kid at heart.

Sooo....back to my point...

I have an online profile and because I have a stalker (it's a she btw), I haven't put a photo up and I stated that my profile is vague for a reason but feel free to ask anything Im an open book...you know, like I'm actually looking for a real deal relationship thing.... I didn't get anywhere with that... So I kinda had a "fuc-it-ol" attitude last night and changed my profile to read....piss on it, I just wanna go fishing, I'm obviously not ready to date yet, so let's just fish. I like fishing....and I made very clear that this was not an invitation for sex...

So this guy emails me, and is pretty sincere about going fishing, he just wants to hang out....
So I ask him "Where's your favorite spot?"

And he replies ***** and *kitten*.....
I reply well if you are refering to Gulp bait smelling like ***** and stink bait smelling like *kitten* then we have the same sense of humor!
He replies nope, was talking about on you...
I reply, well then you didn't listen very well becuase seriously all I wanna do is fish....

Oh lord...I have a long road ahead of me. Which again leads me to wonder, what the hell am I doing wrong?

Hope that made your day. :)

Replies

  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    You're not doing anything wrong, there are lot of d1ckheads out there!! :huh:

    Block and carry on :flowerforyou:
  • shammxo
    shammxo Posts: 1,432 Member
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    ^ You're fine.

    Some people are just socially inept. And creepy.
  • r1ghtpath
    r1ghtpath Posts: 701 Member
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    so, i was told yesterday, that men will push as hard and as far as they can, just to see what they can get away with........

    apparently this is NORMAL behavior......... it is annoying though!!!! i think when you remove the face to face interaction it's much easier to "go there" from the beginning.........

    i'm not getting anything. i'm averaging about 15 views PER WEEK. no messages at all. and zero responses when i send them out. even if they say they're looking for a friend, i don't get a response back. so, i have no advice. i'm at "big giant fail." apparently, no one wants what i have to offer :-)
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    Usually profiles with no pics aren't taken very seriously. I ignored all w/o pics.

    Online dating is complicated enough and even though you have a valid reason, it's going to be tough to get anybody to bite w/o pic.

    Creepy fishing guy!
  • jesusHchris
    jesusHchris Posts: 1,405 Member
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    Agreed. I think that, without a picture, you will probably not get many replies from someone who is honestly looking for a relationship and is not a weird horrible person.

    The message you got it the type sent from someone who blasts out a hundred of those to every profile they come across.

    I get pretty close to 0 messages on match.com, I've contacted about 25 girls and heard back from 1. On OKC, I tend to get more.

    Damn Internet. :)
  • Mellie289
    Mellie289 Posts: 1,191 Member
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    I agree with the comment that profiles with zero photos get zero responses. There are a few desperate souls out there who may give you a look, but men are visual for the most part and I think most don't even bother to read the profile - to them, profile with no photo means you might as well not exist there. When I was on PoF (briefly) and wanted to take a little break after my first week had only interest from men who weren't in any way compatible with me (and there was some weirdness), I just took my pictures down. That ended any communication.
  • Daisy_Cutter
    Daisy_Cutter Posts: 774
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    I agree with the comment that profiles with zero photos get zero responses. There are a few desperate souls out there who may give you a look, but men are visual for the most part and I think most don't even bother to read the profile - to them, profile with no photo means you might as well not exist there. When I was on PoF (briefly) and wanted to take a little break after my first week had only interest from men who weren't in any way compatible with me (and there was some weirdness), I just took my pictures down. That ended any communication.

    I must be a desperate soul then..... If a man has a well-written profile then I will send a message to a profile without a photo.
  • farmers_daughter
    farmers_daughter Posts: 1,632 Member
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    I debated on waiting til my "admirer" quit pokin her nose where it didn't belong.

    I've been making the first move and picking and choosing who I inlclude my picture to. Its rough but I just thought that was too good not to share.

    I'm not taking it too seriously but figured I'd throw this out there to give myself a "check" to see if I'm just really that off or not. :)
    I'm willing to consider that a possibility :wink:

    THanks for all the feed back
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
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    so, i have no advice. i'm at "big giant fail." apparently, no one wants what i have to offer :-)
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Yeah. Me too. To get messaged, you really need some hardcore pulling power, for people to stop and look at your profile.
    You need to either be stunning or do something really original on your pictures that make people laugh and want to message you.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    To the OP: I completely agree that you need to add a pic when you can because you're not doing yourself any favors. Although I feel bad about the weird stalker thing, but don;t most sites have a block feature for that reason?
    i'm not getting anything. i'm averaging about 15 views PER WEEK. no messages at all. and zero responses when i send them out. even if they say they're looking for a friend, i don't get a response back. so, i have no advice. i'm at "big giant fail." apparently, no one wants what i have to offer :-)
    Can I ask how much time you spend looking at guy's profiles? I've noticed on weeks that I've been bored and look at more profiles than normal that I also get looked at and perhaps more messages. In other words, guys will check to see who viewed them and then view you in return. Just something to think about to up your odds a little, since it really is just a numbers game unfortunately. :flowerforyou:
  • dbrightwell1270
    dbrightwell1270 Posts: 1,732 Member
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    i'm not getting anything. i'm averaging about 15 views PER WEEK. no messages at all. and zero responses when i send them out. even if they say they're looking for a friend, i don't get a response back. so, i have no advice. i'm at "big giant fail." apparently, no one wants what i have to offer :-)

    I hate to say this but I've found that the single biggest thing I've done to improve the number of views I get, responses to emails I send out and unsolicited emails from women is that I've lost weight. I don't smile more or better in the newer pictures, I haven't changed the message and I haven't changed any settings on who can contact me or what my preferences are. I've just lost 30 or 40 pounds and updated the pictures as I do. If visual images matter that much to the women, they mean as much or even magnitudes more to the men. If your online profile also mentions that you have 5 children, I think you have an uphill battle in meeting someone through an online dating site. I hope it doesn't sound too mean. I don't think it's impossible but I think it's a very small pool of men who are willing to give you chance. By the time it happens, your self confidence may take such a beating it would negatively affect how you present yourself when it happens.

    I know there is a sense of playing nice and lifting people up on these boards but I've seen you beat yourself up lately. You seem really frustrated over not attracting guys through online datiing and not losing weight over the last year. You really have no control over what a complete stranger thinks or does while he is sitting at his computer. All you have control over is your own actions/inactions and how you feel about yourself. I'd suggest you work on your mind and body and let the other stuff take care of itself.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,064 Member
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    I don't look at profiles without photos. I would block your stalker and add a photo

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