Thank you! I agree! Just because one incident happened to you doesnt mean it's indicative of a whole gender.

Def venting... I don't think it's fair to assume all guys are cheaters like my ex was. I think it's good we have a sound board here. It's safe. But hey, I'd someone is generalizing women, I don't care. I'm not dating them so it doesn't affect me.

No, they don't know me personally. It's a public forum.

Some guys have said things about how they feel about women who give it up too fast or not fast enough. Again, doesn't affect me as I'm not dating them. If they walk around generalizing women, they're the ones being affected.

I think sometimes it is just venting, i.e. all men are dogs. Blah blah blah. I have said men suck, or other things but I really mean the men in my life. I think it comes from a place of pain for most people but there are those where it comes from a place of bias.

I agree with your statement about those ideas coming from a place of pain (and bias-probably to a lesser degree).

My last relationship was a good example :ex- wife sabotaged the relationship with infidelity, thus he was super suspicious of everything I did, and assumed everyone I knew was trying to sleep with me. It had nothing to do with me, but was like a lens of pain that he viewed all female actions through.

He also assumed that my ex husband cheated on me though, so maybe it changed his entire schema related to relationships. Who knows, but it was hard.

I get my hackles up reading some of the stuff, I will start typing a reply and then deleted it thinking "I feel sorry for them if they think all women/men are that way"

Yeah, this.

I generally avoid the boards that say "Do men like XYZ?" "Are women ABC?" because my answer is the same every single time.

People are individuals. There is no one answer, no broad stroke of the brush that is going to make life easier if you just "understand" more.

I do have my moments where I sulk and say "boys are stupid" but I don't hold on to that. I roll my eyes and move forward and the next person is a new experience.

I will also throw my two cents worth into the fire.... in that both parties in the relationship need to to take responsibility for it ending. Whether it was their fault or not. I know, bold statement but true.

Very wise; I totally agree.

I'll defend what I said in the Cheaters thread. I don't believe that I made broad, sweeping generalizations. When I write, I often use phrases like "more than likely" to get a point across to indicate something that is common but not universal. I try to use measured language.

My first post on that thread involve links to outside articles about ratio of male to female cheaters. How many people read those articles?

I also posted on why I think the early stage dating model is broken for both sexes.

I did acknowledge validity in a statement about "cheaters and players". The word validity means that there is soundness. I felt that there was soundness to that one sentence, more in the fact of players than cheaters. Top tier women (20s, attractive, no children) can have a iPhone list of potential options that if printed out on paper, you'd be printing many sheets of paper. I would say that the typical woman has more options for boyfriends/sex than a comparable to her male. This fact allows women to be bigger players should they choose. If a woman decides to cheat, I think it easier to execute. But not all women will choose this course. Many times, when a woman breaks up, there's already another man in the picture (http://nyc.barstoolsports.com/random-thoughts/top-10-reasons-men-and-women-get-dumped/ ).

Incidence of female cheating has risen in recent decades. The old standard was that the male was the serial philanderer. The linked articles at the top of that thread demonstrate that is no longer the case. Working outside the house and technology have fostered female cheating.

I think it is important for all men to look for a woman who is reliable, dependable, and one who keeps her word.

I am not sure how I come off on the forums but I do hope I do not generalize men as all the same. If I do I apologize.
My personal experiences in dating haven't been fantastic..but I blame that on my self esteem, my weight and being a little too naive. I picked the wrong people to date. That was my mistake. But I have a large family and many friends who are shining examples of the opposite sex and I hold out hope that I'll meet my match one day. I don't want to go into something anymore thinking about all the bad things that have happened in my past..I am cautious but hopeful now.

We all really need to stop looking at the opposite gender as an enemy to be conquered and realize that although there are people who are just not worth the time or energy, there are many wonderful, kind people who really deserve your respect. Once you start treating the opposite gender with respect and looking for their positive qualities, you will lose that bitter overtone and allow yourself to open up enough to be loved, and to love in return.

Beautifully said, Kate :flowerforyou: I think there's a difference between generalisations made from wider observation, generally introduced with measured language or vocabulary; tend to, seem to, a trend towards..., and generalisations that are born out of specific events and individual experiences within a narrow pool. It's very difficult to avoid the former when talking about the types of issues we discuss here. Gender/Sexual politics is inevitably going to throw up both. The latter probably are, in some degree, defense mechanisms and justifications. The former can be as well, but are generally less vituperative and take in a broader sphere of reference.