Single Peeps!

Join

Texting question...

Bassafrass80
Bassafrass80 Posts: 69 Member
in Social Groups
So I've been a long time lurker of this board, first time poster. :)

I had my annual work party this Saturday. I ended up meeting a guy who is a friend of an employee of my company. We talked and exchanged numbers and I asked if he would be willing to hang out sometime (alcohol had made me bold, lol) He said "Yeah, totally"

So my question is...do I just wait for him to text/call and if he never does oh well. Should I text him? My cousin (who went with me to the party) said that I should wait for him and not call or text him at all. I'm obviously not very good at this stuff (hence why I'm still single!) I'm just looking for some advice. Thanks!

Replies

  • oddyogi
    oddyogi Posts: 1,816 Member
    Since you suggested it, I would ask him out first. And don't do it with text messaging--call him!

    Hey, how are you, etc. Would you like to get together this weekend to do {insert casual date activity here}. I'd do either a nice lunch or maybe an activity.
  • Bassafrass80
    Bassafrass80 Posts: 69 Member
    Should I wait a while to call him? I don't want to seem all desperate. :)
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    Ball is in your court since you were the one to suggest getting together first. You can text or call which ever you prefer just keep it light.

    It already seems like a couple days have passed so you don't need to wait any more. The 3 day rule is stupid.
  • dbrightwell1270
    dbrightwell1270 Posts: 1,732 Member
    when you say acohol made you bold, just how much alcohol are you talking about? Were you a little buzzed or drunk to the point that you weren't consistent with your normal behavior?
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
    If he doesn't text/call you, then do it. I'd do it Monday evening at worst. Don't wait too much (stay in his radar)...

    I'm quite casual when I approach women, so as a guy, I'd text something like this:
    "Hey! Hope you had a great weekend. Still up for this drink we talked about? I'm free next Thursday if that's good for you!"
    If he picks up on this, nothing prevents you from texting further. If he doesn't reply, text him the next day.
    If again he doesn't reply, he died.

    Phone can be a bit awkward if you haven't talked much/done much together (depends on what happened on that fateful night then). A phone conversation of 30s with lots of blank would be lame.
  • oddyogi
    oddyogi Posts: 1,816 Member
    Should I wait a while to call him? I don't want to seem all desperate. :)

    Call him around the middle of the week and ask how his week is going. Ask him if he has any plans for the weekend. If he says nope, then he is most likely opening the door for you to ask him out. :)
  • oddyogi
    oddyogi Posts: 1,816 Member
    If he doesn't text/call you, then do it. I'd do it Monday evening at worst. Don't wait too much (stay in his radar)...

    I'm quite casual when I approach women, so as a guy, I'd text something like this:
    "Hey! Hope you had a great weekend. Still up for this drink we talked about? I'm free next Thursday if that's good for you!"
    If he picks up on this, nothing prevents you from texting further. If he doesn't reply, text him the next day.
    If again he doesn't reply, he died.

    Phone can be a bit awkward if you haven't talked much/done much together (depends on what happened on that fateful night then). A phone conversation of 30s with lots of blank would be lame.

    Well even though my advice was different, go with what you feel most comfortable with! I think a phone call is nice because it's out of the ordinary, but if you think you'd be awkward, then go with a text. It's much easier to fake confidence via SMS. :)
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
    Should I wait a while to call him? I don't want to seem all desperate. :)
    You're desperate anyway, face it!

    OK joking aside... The only thing that will make you seem desperate is texting him 30 times a day. 1-5 text a day is fine to "maintain" contact.
    Also someone has to initiate (i.e. start the conversation going) before you even reach that stage of desperation. You're just initiating, that's not desperation.
    If you text him 10 times when he hasn't replied yet in the next 12 hours that's desperation.

    TL;DR: text him once, wait for his response.
  • Bassafrass80
    Bassafrass80 Posts: 69 Member
    when you say acohol made you bold, just how much alcohol are you talking about? Were you a little buzzed or drunk to the point that you weren't consistent with your normal behavior?

    I was not quite drunk but more than buzzed, lol. I wasn't acting out of the ordinary though.
  • Bassafrass80
    Bassafrass80 Posts: 69 Member
    Ball is in your court since you were the one to suggest getting together first. You can text or call which ever you prefer just keep it light.

    It already seems like a couple days have passed so you don't need to wait any more. The 3 day rule is stupid.

    Yeah the 3 day rule is stupid! It doesn't need to be this difficult! :)
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Text or call him today, ask for what you want. You already have rapport from meeting in person already.
  • Duckz1
    Duckz1 Posts: 145 Member
    Since he has your number I'd give it another couple days and see if he contacts you. If you do send a text, just send one. If he doesn't reply that's your answer (no "follow up" text if he doesn't answer the first one).
  • dbrightwell1270
    dbrightwell1270 Posts: 1,732 Member
    when you say acohol made you bold, just how much alcohol are you talking about? Were you a little buzzed or drunk to the point that you weren't consistent with your normal behavior?

    I was not quite drunk but more than buzzed, lol. I wasn't acting out of the ordinary though.

    If you were acting unusual, it is easier to see that as being really drunk and to dismiss your actual interest as being liquored up. Let him know you are still interested. Sooner is better than later.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member

    "Hey! Hope you had a great weekend. Still up for this drink we talked about? I'm free next Thursday if that's good for you!"

    yeah, I love this. Casual and to the point! Do it now! :bigsmile:
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    when you say acohol made you bold, just how much alcohol are you talking about? Were you a little buzzed or drunk to the point that you weren't consistent with your normal behavior?

    I was not quite drunk but more than buzzed, lol. I wasn't acting out of the ordinary though.

    If you were acting unusual, it is easier to see that as being really drunk and to dismiss your actual interest as being liquored up. Let him know you are still interested. Sooner is better than later.

    Definitely this!
  • Bassafrass80
    Bassafrass80 Posts: 69 Member
    So I did end up texting him last night. He said he is free this weekend and is supposed to get with me later this week to plan. So here's hoping! :happy:
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    So I did end up texting him last night. He said he is free this weekend and is supposed to get with me later this week to plan. So here's hoping! :happy:

    great!
  • SouthernSweetie74
    SouthernSweetie74 Posts: 844
    Quit thinking too much about it.

    Just do it.

    :)
  • jkandktmom
    jkandktmom Posts: 1,010 Member
    I'm a lurking too and just started posting. I'm glad you texted him. I think sometimes you just have to go for it, nothing lost nothing gained!
  • Bassafrass80
    Bassafrass80 Posts: 69 Member
    Well he never texted me and ignored the text I sent yesterday, so back to the drawing board I suppose. Oh well!

Categories