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Purposely staying single?

Jd1360
Jd1360 Posts: 170 Member
edited December 2024 in Social Groups
I've never actually posted here, but I was wondering something. Is there anyone else who is purposely staying single during their weight loss? I don't have an extensive dating history. Uninterested in high school. Ridiculously busy and career-oriented in college and for a while after and now it's like, why get involved with that now when I'm changing for me and it's working fine?

Thoughts?

Replies

  • kobashi
    kobashi Posts: 164
    I've never actually posted here, but I was wondering something. Is there anyone else who is purposely staying single during their weight loss? I don't have an extensive dating history. Uninterested in high school. Ridiculously busy and career-oriented in college and for a while after and now it's like, why get involved with that now when I'm changing for me and it's working fine?

    Thoughts?

    I was until I met someone at work. Even though, I know it's going to go badly, she's just amazing. It makes it very hard to want to be single when you meet someone just incredible. It's very smart to stay single.. I have noticed just in the last few months that my tastes have changed in woman due to my weightloss. I am sure that this is the case for others as well.
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
    Kinda... I am not actively seeking. I have body image issues where I don't feel attractive 75% of the time. So why bring someone else into my life if I am not happy with myself? It's that whole 'love yourself before you can love someone else' thing. It is improving as I keep losing more weight and get more fit.
  • shammxo
    shammxo Posts: 1,432 Member
    Like kobashi said, I was until I met someone.

    I fought it for a while because I still have my own issues and said I didn't want to be involved. But he is so sweet, patient and just wonderful. If it happens, it happens. But seeking doesn't have to be a priority! When you have time, and the time is right, it'll work itself out.
  • poncho33
    poncho33 Posts: 1,511
    Like kobashi said, I was until I met someone.

    I fought it for a while because I still have my own issues and said I didn't want to be involved. But he is so sweet, patient and just wonderful. If it happens, it happens. But seeking doesn't have to be a priority! When you have time, and the time is right, it'll work itself out.

    Amen! I have never had trouble getting a gf until I started trying to. Backing off and living life... someone will come along eventually
  • Katefab26
    Katefab26 Posts: 865
    I don't think I'm purposely staying single, but neither am I looking. I'm just living my life and enjoying it. If an incredible person comes along to change my mind about my single state, I'll be happy to oblige! Until then, I'm still happy :smile:
  • solman66
    solman66 Posts: 175 Member
    No. I thought about it for a while, but realized I was just making excuses to avoid getting back into the dating world. If the other person doesn't mind dating me while I'm overweight, why should I let my self image get in the way? It doesn't mean I have to change anything about what I'm doing for myself, though it was easier to get to the gym 5-6 times when I didn't have to worry about date nights. Life's too short not to enjoy yourself.
  • kcpsu18
    kcpsu18 Posts: 36 Member
    I've never actually posted here, but I was wondering something. Is there anyone else who is purposely staying single during their weight loss? I don't have an extensive dating history. Uninterested in high school. Ridiculously busy and career-oriented in college and for a while after and now it's like, why get involved with that now when I'm changing for me and it's working fine?

    Thoughts?

    I was until I met someone at work. Even though, I know it's going to go badly, she's just amazing. It makes it very hard to want to be single when you meet someone just incredible. It's very smart to stay single.. I have noticed just in the last few months that my tastes have changed in woman due to my weightloss. I am sure that this is the case for others as well.

    When did you start working in my building to notice me like that? LOL jk
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    Purposefully single? NO
    Content with myself until someone great comes along? YES
  • disneywm76
    disneywm76 Posts: 573 Member
    Purposefully single? NO
    Content with myself until someone great comes along? YES

    Couldn't have said it better myself!
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    I am not actively seeking or actively not seeking. I'm just living my life right now, and if someone comes along that makes the pieces fit then cool and if not then.. cool. Weightloss never really factored into it.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    Kinda... I am not actively seeking. I have body image issues where I don't feel attractive 75% of the time. So why bring someone else into my life if I am not happy with myself? It's that whole 'love yourself before you can love someone else' thing. It is improving as I keep losing more weight and get more fit.

    This. Plus I have no intention of living in the Southeast much longer, so I don't want to meet someone here anyway.
  • julesboots
    julesboots Posts: 311 Member
    Not really weight related, but I definitely avoided men the 4 yrs. post divorce before my daughter was in school. I could hardly make eye contact with another human. Then a waaaay too young mechanic/ph.d student working on my car reminded me I wasn't 80 yrs old.
  • SouthernSweetie74
    SouthernSweetie74 Posts: 844
    That was my intention when I first started my journey... then, I met someone... well, that didn't last long, but it felt good while it did... and I'll be honest... I like men. I like talking to men. I like flirting. I like being told I'm beautiful. So, while I'm not rushing into anything with anyone, I welcome making new friends and seeing if there is a possibility...
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
    ... and I'll be honest... I like men. I like talking to men. I like flirting. I like being told I'm beautiful. So, while I'm not rushing into anything with anyone, I welcome making new friends and seeing if there is a possibility...

    Me too!
  • julesboots
    julesboots Posts: 311 Member
    That was my intention when I first started my journey... then, I met someone... well, that didn't last long, but it felt good while it did... and I'll be honest... I like men. I like talking to men. I like flirting. I like being told I'm beautiful. So, while I'm not rushing into anything with anyone, I welcome making new friends and seeing if there is a possibility...


    ot: Aw, you ARE beautiful (especially with dark hair).
  • SouthernSweetie74
    SouthernSweetie74 Posts: 844
    That was my intention when I first started my journey... then, I met someone... well, that didn't last long, but it felt good while it did... and I'll be honest... I like men. I like talking to men. I like flirting. I like being told I'm beautiful. So, while I'm not rushing into anything with anyone, I welcome making new friends and seeing if there is a possibility...


    ot: Aw, you ARE beautiful (especially with dark hair).

    AWWW... thank you!!! :)

    somehow, it's not the same when a woman says it, though... LOL But appreciated very much!!!!!
  • Jd1360
    Jd1360 Posts: 170 Member
    Okay, I guess I mistyped in my late night posting, it is much more of a 'not actively looking' than a purposeful thing. Not like I'm getting offers hand over foot of course. :wink:

    And I am very glad to see I am not alone in this, during this transition time!
  • bradphil87
    bradphil87 Posts: 617 Member
    I am. Because (and I know this is going to sound bad, sorry.) I beleave that after I lose the weight I'll be able to attract more girls and thus don't want to be tied down when that opportunity arises. Again, I know it sounds bad haha
  • CassiusKnox
    CassiusKnox Posts: 305 Member
    I'm purposely staying single for a while. I've been super unlucky in love having two long term relationshipsof 20 years and 7 years respectively go bad... so I need a 'time out'. It's been so bad I've been having 'I'm destined to die alone' thoughts which SUCKS considering how much I love women and love being in a relationship.

    I can only assume I did something bad in a former life :sad:
  • camrunner
    camrunner Posts: 363
    I think I was doing this at first, and it kind of conditioned me to make excuses. I don't really have weight to lose anymore, but there's always something else I have to do before I can consider seriously dating.
  • Jodibear58
    Jodibear58 Posts: 280 Member
    After my divorce I was actively trying to date (online). I didn't have much luck so I gave it up. Since then I have been working on getting healthy and losing some weight. I figure at 54, if someone came into my life that will be wonderful, but I am not actively looking at this time. It seems to me guys aren't interested because I am overweight. If I can lose the weight, maybe I will have more luck.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    I was... kinda... I really like being around men, and I really enjoy male company for certain types of events, but I still have no interest in giving a man too much control of my life. So my dating recently has been more for fun than anything, not to become part of a "couple." In fact, the thought of tying myself down kinda scares me.

    For the last couple years, I was looking for men to hang out with ("limited" benefits, lol) with the thought that long term something might develop, but I didn't think I was ready for a *real* relationship (still not sure I am). The guys I crushed on were great guys who I thought I'd end up with a couple years from now, not next month.

    (note to ladies- that kind of thinking is a fast way to lose a guy who's really into you because he interprets you dragging your feet as not interested)

    Then I met someone I really enjoyed having around every day, doing little things for me. It didn't last, but I'm not closed to the idea of getting into a relationship anymore. I’m just not looking for it. My dating adventures are more about having fun, getting to know men, and learning more about myself and about men.
  • ShazMc73
    ShazMc73 Posts: 106 Member
    I've been super unlucky in love having two long term relationships... It's been so bad I've been having 'I'm destined to die alone' thoughts which SUCKS...

    I can only assume I did something bad in a former life :sad:

    Ugh! This could be me. I actually got asked out more when I was heavier; so that's not the issue. I'd love to meet someone great - probably need to be a bit more optimistic that there is someone out there for me.
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