Introducing myself & needing encouragment!

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Lorelei432
Lorelei432 Posts: 5 Member
I had a malignant tumor removed from my thyroid when I was 5 months pregnant with my 3rd child. He will be 18 in October. I was so excited to have been "cancer free" for 15 years when I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. I had my radical hysterectomy December 27, 2009...and was in the hospital for a week due to losing a lot of blood, sent home with my cathiter.....and my wedding was 3 months away...

After the surgery I gained 30 lbs....was so depressed, even more so when 2 weeks before my wedding I finally admitted that I wasnt going to fit my wedding dress and changed that at the last minute...so I didnt feel my "best" on my day...

I go every 3 months to my oncologist to have my lymphnodes checked and the last two exams have shown abnormal cells...I've already had laser procedure done twice since my hysterectomy...

I've been struggling with my weight since then...up and down ...and being only 5'2" every pound SHOWS. But some days I just don't care....

so instead of being so thankful that having survived cancer twice...never needing chemo or radiation...I'm so depressed over my weight...which between the weight and the "procedures" done every 3-4 months really puts a cramp in the romance department since BEFORE the wedding.....ugh..

oh, and my husband telling me this week....and I KNOW he thought he was encouraging me and being sweet... says to me when I make a negative comment about myself ... "I've come to accept how you look sweetie".

This coming from a man who is very fit because his job is phyical and he must have the metabolism off the charts!

so if this is the motivation I need, so be it...what ever works, right.....

Replies

  • Apple2jacks
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    First of all.... Congrats on beating it twice!

    I am 32 and was diagnosed with Acute Meyloid Leukemia Feb 19, 2011. I went thru chemo, radiation and then a bone marrow transplant! When entering the hospital I was 132 when I got sick..... After my transplant/beginning of recovery i came out at 234! I stayed at my weight or a little more most of the time, but then I was put on a medication and one of the side effects was weight gain! Yep they weren't kidding about that! It came on so fast, it was uncontrolable.

    Yes I also should be thankful that I am cancer, and I am , but had I known some of the side effects I may have chose a different route. I have hit an all time low thinking about my weight most of the time. It also hurts when people say things like wow you don't look like you went thru chemo and have had cancer.... What am I supposed to look like???? Skinny and sickly?

    I got engaged in May of 2012 and all I could think about was... There is no way I am getting married looking like this!

    I understand about the romance part and I feel horrible for my fiancé. He always tells me that we will work thru this and that once I get better so will everything else. He also tells me that I am a determined person and he knows I will drop the weight in no time!

    I still go to the bone marrow transplant clinic every week to have labs and treatments done and to see my dr. Hopefully soon I can start going less!

    I am getting married in May of 2013 and ordered my dress smaller then I am so I have to bust some *kitten*!

    If you need a friend add me... I need motivation and try to help others out too!
  • kurting81
    kurting81 Posts: 32 Member
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    Looks like both people on this post have been put through the ringer. It's important to remember that recovering from cancer takes time and each day can sometimes seem like a chore but if you both stay the course putting in the work to get healthier day in and day out it will happen. You both can do it. Stay strong and keep with it!
  • Lorelei432
    Lorelei432 Posts: 5 Member
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    I know recovering from cancer is as much mental and and emotional as it is physical. Besides wanting to look better for my husband....and for myself....I want to be healthy. I have to gorgeous 7 month old granddaughters and I hear myself grunting when getting up off the floor with them!

    Great attitude Apples!! Congrats on the upcoming wedding!! Your fiance sounds wonderful. My husband tries to say the "right things" but I think I take things way too personal and am overly sensitive.... I feel bad for him.....he keeps asking me for the combination to figuring me out! lol
  • loquaciousloser
    loquaciousloser Posts: 6 Member
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    Hello! :0) Lisa here. I am a colon cancer survivor, stage 3. I was diagnosed at age 38, with no cancer in my family at all. Leave it to me to want to be different, lol. Happy to say my last check up showed things are still going good and I'm determined to get back in shape. :)
  • pmslewis
    pmslewis Posts: 3 Member
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    I hear ya on "being different"! I have two sisters who are 16 and 14 years older; I always thought one of them would get any dire diseases before I ever got them!

    Glad your check-up went well, and here's to getting back in shape!
  • pmslewis
    pmslewis Posts: 3 Member
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    Just joined and wanted to introduce myself.

    I was diagnosed with Stage III breast cancer in Aug. 2009, had two courses of chemo, bilateral mastectomy with lymph node removal in Nov. 2009, radiation in 2010, 13 courses of Herceptin lasting until Nov. 2010. I started developing lymphedema in both arms in 2010 but it seems to have stabilized with treatment (compression sleeves, manual lymphatic drainage).

    I weighed 235 when I started chemo and went down to 205 within a month of starting treatment; gained back 20 pounds, lost 10, now trying to work on developing healthy self-care habits in general.

    I was just diagnosed with Graves' Disease, which is an autoimmune disorder causing hyperactive thyroid. Why couldn't I have had the side effect of "rapid, unexplained weight loss"? Well, it turns out that some hyperactive thyroid patients are the stereotypical thin, nervous wrecks, while others of us gain weight because we're hungry all the time. It also causes protruding eyeballs, which I have to some degree but I'm told it's not very noticeable because I wear glasses. I'm self-conscious about it, anyway. Fortunately, the medication I am taking (methimazole) cut my appetite down to normal within a couple of days!

    I suspect the Graves was a result of extreme stress, what with The Cancer, moving, separating from my husband, and getting laid off. I am just trying to deal with severe depression and anxiety right now and feel that starting a diet / exercise program will help me address those emotional things while I'm looking for work.

    One big physical problem I'm having right now is severely limited range-of-motion in my arms. It's gotten to the point I can't do the crawl when swimming because I don't have the strength to pull myself through the water anymore. I'm supposed to do stretches and so forth to help my arms but I bust out crying from the pain and frustration. Trying to work through that, too.

    Sorry if this is kind of long-winded... dealing with a lot of stuff. Before you suggest it, yes, I'm in therapy and on anti-depressants; this has been developing over the last three years. Things are up and down but I feel better after joining this group and reaching out.
  • Apple2jacks
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    Hi pmslewis, welcome! I was reading your post and saw you mentioned about your range of motion. Have you found any ways to make it easier? I have the same problem in my arms and legs. It's painful and extremely frustrating for me and I am having a hard time figuring it out. I am supposed to be doing non weight bearing exercises such as swimming or the recumbent bike due to being diagnosed with osteonecrosis (death of the bone) about 2 months ago. They believe the loss of motion is a side effect from the bone marrow stem cell transplant and my Dr's are unsure at this point if it will get better. They have said to keep moving and stretching as much as possible to prevent it from getting worse, but it hurts and I don't have the strength to do much either. So any tips would be helpful as I am at a loss.

    A little background about me I suppose would be nice :) I am 33 and was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid
    Leukemia Feb 19th, 2011. Went through a few rounds of chemo and was in remission by March of 2011. They knew it would not stay away long as it was really aggressive so I had to go through more chemo, radiation and finally a stem cell transplant on May 12th, 2011. The side effects from the transplant are so unknown still and are pretty intense. Some will go away, others will not :( I was fairly fit before I got sick and weighed 132 when I was hospitalized. Since then I have been put on some medications that have cause me to gain lots of extra padding, 234lb total! I got to start working out in may 2012 and I have been watching what I eat and I am now down to 188lbs so I am getting there. It hurts and it's hard but I am trying. The last two months I have not done much since being told to do non weight bearing things. So that's where I am now. I am getting married in 6 months and would love to lose a lot more by then. So this slump I am in now has got to go!!!

    Tips from anyone??? Friend request from anyone also needed:)

    Apple2 jacks