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You attract what you ARE, not what you WANT
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This thread title is just further proof that all those third grade taunts were right and I am a nobody!
Not true! :flowerforyou:0 -
You don't need a scientific study to prove it,simply watch and listen to how many women react to the emotional aspects (romance) and the arbitrary things that make them gush to the point of ignoring character flaws that are obvious.
My pet theory is that some of the worst in society have evolved some charm, it keeps them alive and free to procreate. Someday maybe a scientific study will prove me right. Meanwhile, I do watch my back around any man too charming for my own good. :laugh:
The whole concept of a pick up artist I find deeply offensive because it seems to be a predator,dishonestly taking advantage of that.
He sucks but ladies would do themselves well to recognize their emotions and protect themselves for falling for the charades.
It's not just men who get away with murder because they're charming and/or really good looking, some of the nicest guys I know have taste in women that is every bit as bad as my taste in men used to be. These women take high maintenance to a whole new level, and they tend to be unbelievably crazy train wrecks, too. Not sure how they get away with it, but I admit, I was always a bit envious at the attention I saw lavished on them despite their personalities. Sorry to say, whatever genetic combo it is that lets someone be crazy, obnoxious, and sometimes downright mean and still get dates, I missed out.
Honestly that is not something I can exactly relate to but maybe because I am always an observer on the outside looking in I see the crazy,*****y behavior and automatically move away from it.
That is a product of age and experience though.
Oh definitely. Also, the older I get, the less energy I have for relationship drama of any kind. Youth, it's wasted on the young.0 -
I don’t know that I agree with “You attract what you ARE, not what you WANT” What I do believe though is…………..we date/attract at the level of our self-esteem. The first time that I heard that, it had a profound effect on me. It prompted me to take an honest non-judgmental look at myself. What do I really believe about Cinnamon, how do I really feel about Cinnamon. It was hard, because when I got gut level honest with myself I saw that some of the things that I believe and feel about myself aren’t very nice. But it really gave me a starting place to work from, and it helped facilitate a lot of change in me. I’ve come a long way and feel way better about myself than I used to, but I know that I have a really long way to go. And today I’m seeing even more areas that I need to work on.
The “new guy” that I’ve had 4 dates with is really cool and I’m enjoying the attention and the way that he makes me feel, but it has brought out a lot of my insecurities and feelings of unworthiness. So, I’m having to address those issues today. Maybe he’ll stick around, maybe he won’t…….but either way I’m growing and learning……….and to me that’s way more important.
Just my two cent worth!!!0 -
In all seriousness, my dear wise friend Giles told me, regarding dating men you are attracted to, you keep bettering yourself more and more and more and keep hitting on the guys you are attracted to. If you snag one, you are officially on their level. If you cant, you're just not there yet. Dont lower your standards, just raise the bar for yourself.
Just dont be like me lol! I only went on dates with guys I wasnt attracted to, cause I didnt think I deserved the guys I was attracted to. So I just quit dating until I found one specific person that I really fell for and it didnt matter what class of attraction we fell into.
Although, I must say, we are goddamn beautiful together :P0 -
In all seriousness, my dear wise friend Giles told me, regarding dating men you are attracted to, you keep bettering yourself more and more and more and keep hitting on the guys you are attracted to. If you snag one, you are officially on their level. If you cant, you're just not there yet. Dont lower your standards, just raise the bar for yourself.
I
this. 0 -
Don't you read? Someone wrote an article about how we are supposed to settle!
How else are you supposed to not be alone?
On a slightly more serious note I think the ladder theory applies here quite nicely. There are going to be people lower than you on the ladder that are attracted to you - it doesn't mean you're at the same level, just that you're higher up than they usually score. You should be shooting for more even ground and there's going to be flubs along the way. Don't worry about some skeeze
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Id rather be alone and full of damn awesome than lower the bar and end up with someone that I will end up resenting because they arent my match.0
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Id rather be alone and full of damn awesome than lower the bar and end up with someone that I will end up resenting because they arent my match.
I was kidding lady. I do not actually advocate settling for less than exactly what makes the individual happiest.0 -
So... I'm OLD?
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This thread title is just further proof that all those third grade taunts were right and I am a nobody!
Not true! :flowerforyou:
Good point, I got a friend request the other day from some dude with a message that included a veiled reference to raping me if I had a heavy Brooklyn accent. I don't know how to take this.0 -
Id rather be alone and full of damn awesome than lower the bar and end up with someone that I will end up resenting because they arent my match.
I was kidding lady. I do not actually advocate settling for less than exactly what makes the individual happiest.
oh no no no no worries - that wasnt AT you, I was just talking!0 -
Id rather be alone and full of damn awesome than lower the bar and end up with someone that I will end up resenting because they arent my match.
I was kidding lady. I do not actually advocate settling for less than exactly what makes the individual happiest.
oh no no no no worries - that wasnt AT you, I was just talking!
Phew! Just wanted to make sure, hahaa!0 -
An MFP friend asked me whether I could envision making out with the guy as a way to decide if anything might develop with time, and I could honestly say the idea made me sick to my stomach. So I promptly ended things before there was even a second date. The guy practically begged for another chance. I didn't let that go further. I figure if I can't imagine one kiss, nothing more will develop with time.
I feel the same exact way!0 -
I once read that in order to GET the person you want, you have to BE the person you would want. I don't know if that makes sense, but at one point in my life I looked in the mirror and saw a chubby smoker. I know that I wouldn't be attracted to that in a partner, so I knew I needed to change before I would find the hunka burnin love I was looking for. So I got busy, lost weight and quit smoking and BOOM....met a hottie and fell in love.
(End of story: He moved in and made my life a living hell and now he's gone, thanks to the restraining order. OK, maybe that theory is wrong......:noway: ) Forget I said anything.0 -
You attract what you ARE, not what you WANT
This sounds so cliche, clever, and meaningless. I am a guy. I sure as hell don't want to attract a guy. Should I have a sex change?0 -
I don't know if that's always true.
I tend to attract jerks, and I swear, I am NOT a jerk. :noway: :grumble:0 -
I don't know if that's always true.
I tend to attract jerks, and I swear, I am NOT a jerk. :noway: :grumble:
hahaha!! Good point! :happy:0 -
You attract what you ARE, not what you WANT
This sounds so cliche, clever, and meaningless. I am a guy. I sure as hell don't want to attract a guy. Should I have a sex change?
silly billy! :noway:0 -
You attract what you ARE, not what you WANT
This sounds so cliche, clever, and meaningless. I am a guy. I sure as hell don't want to attract a guy. Should I have a sex change?
Clearly you are a very literal person, Dave
I am working on being the person I want to attract, so it's the same thing, but focusing on what I can control. I LOVE adventure and being active. I'm not a sit on the couch kind of girl... at least until my body says stop then I crash. I need to continue to improve myself and hopefully, the right guy will be there, bags packed, ready for a trip together around this crazy world. Good enough?
See, no sex change required?! heehee0 -
See, no sex change required?! heehee
I wish you would have responded sooner. :sad:0 -
I think attracting the right person just comes down to timing.....the time you are at in your life, and where your "perfect match" is and if the timing is right it works.
Several years ago, my bf (who I later married--should have known), broke my heart. I met another guy who was wonderful from teh get go...he treated me like a princess, told me all the time I was beautiful, did all the right things, and he healed my heart. Unfortunately, he was in the Navy and got transferred to Guam. Maybe it iwouldn't have lasted, but he was exactly what I needed when I needed it. So, the timing just didn't work for us to be "perfect matches", but I needed him at the time (not realizing that until later). (Ended up getting back together with ex bf, later getting married, only to have heart broken again many years later!)0 -
See, no sex change required?! heehee
I wish you would have responded sooner. :sad:
Geez, Dave, sounds like you were already planning one if it happened that quickly. Hope it works out for you?! It'll all be good as long as you're a C or D cup, or so I'm told... :laugh:0 -
I think attracting the right person just comes down to timing.....the time you are at in your life, and where your "perfect match" is and if the timing is right it works.
Timing has a lot to do with things.0 -
I think attracting the right person just comes down to timing.....the time you are at in your life, and where your "perfect match" is and if the timing is right it works.
My dad always said that luck is when opportunity meets preparedness.0
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