How do you handle?
Moe4572
Posts: 1,428 Member
Okay, so I had date #5 with "J" this weekend. He is great, I like him alot and am eager to see him again (tonight).
Here is my question: a coworker asked me about him, and what time he left Friday night? Well, he didn't leave, he spent the night BUT I did not have sex with him and he was ok with that. She said to me....."just.........be sure to ask for a blood test! Just because he looks good on the outside does not mean he is unclean on the inside. I am sure to be "protected", but do you people ask for blood tests? Even those who won't have sex before married, do you ask for blood test before the wedding? I know many states (mine included) require blood tests to get married, but not even sure what they test for?
Just got my mind going............
Here is my question: a coworker asked me about him, and what time he left Friday night? Well, he didn't leave, he spent the night BUT I did not have sex with him and he was ok with that. She said to me....."just.........be sure to ask for a blood test! Just because he looks good on the outside does not mean he is unclean on the inside. I am sure to be "protected", but do you people ask for blood tests? Even those who won't have sex before married, do you ask for blood test before the wedding? I know many states (mine included) require blood tests to get married, but not even sure what they test for?
Just got my mind going............
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Replies
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I don't have an answer for you... but I have a funny story... when I first ventured out into online dating, I had a lot of guys tell me they were "clean." I finally asked one what he meant by that, because it didn't seem to match my definition of "clean." He laughed at me, because I used the phrase "I like (clean) fun" in my profile. I used it to indicate that I don't do things like clubs/bars/gambling and he said most people use it to indicate they're clean for sex, no diseases, had been recently tested. I was sooooooo embarrassed!
A friend of mine told me you actually need to go with the guy to the county health office to observe him being tested, that you can't just believe him saying he's clean or even showing you paperwork from a previous test. This is an aspect of dating I certainly didn't worry about 20 years ago!!0 -
Yeah Moe, that conversation is always awkward for everyone. I do think it's a very necessary conversation to have once you are in a committed relationship though. Until it's monogamous, just make sure he wraps it up. Good luck!0
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Yeah Moe, that conversation is always awkward for everyone. I do think it's a very necessary conversation to have once you are in a committed relationship though. Until it's monogamous, just make sure he wraps it up. Good luck!
Yep, what he said.0 -
I remember going with my high school boyfriend to the county health department. In no way can I imagine doing that now, even though it's no less important. This came up with my last boyfriend when he made a point to tell me that he'd been to the dr. before we had sex (he had a promiscuous period after his marriage) . I think we might have used protection at first, but I hadn't been wild post-marriage, so neither of us was very concerned. It was really not a big deal, and it impressed me that he brought it up, illustrating that he was an adult.
I hope your co-worker is a close friend- I can't imagine asking someone what time their date went home!0 -
Yeah Moe, that conversation is always awkward for everyone. I do think it's a very necessary conversation to have once you are in a committed relationship though. Until it's monogamous, just make sure he wraps it up. Good luck!
Exactly! I haven't asked for a blood test but I make sure that we are protected. Because it could end up be a nasty situation. ewwww0 -
HIV or chlamydia are the only things I can think of that would need a blood test. Most other STDs are visible! :noway:
It's not a bad thing to ask about previous sexual partners. I mean, any decent guy would be testing himself if he was in any way in doubt he may have contracted HIV??
I actually had a partner ring me to say he found out he had contracted chlamidia and I should get tested.
I dont think you should be embarrassed. If you're at that stage of intimacy then embarrassment goes out the window, doesnt it? A good way of getting round it is "should we both get tested?". But I would only really make that suggestion if we didnt want to use condoms.
EDA to correct spelling as per christine....lol :bigsmile:0 -
I dont think you should be embarrassed. If you're at that stage of intimacy then embarrassment goes out the window, doesnt it? A good way of getting round it is "should we both get tested?". But I would only really make that suggestion if we didnt want to use condoms.
This. As a nurse, I hear all this crap about STDs so I'm kinda freaked out about them. I think it's smart to go and get tested. Like Anna said, I think a good way to bring it up is to suggest to get tested together.
Also, while many STDs are "visible", syphilis may be not. A lot of people don't know they have it until they have severe symptoms from it, and that can occur years from now. I don't mean to scare you, but just letting you know.
Better safe than sorry, right?0 -
Yeah, the conversation is awkward but I have it before having sex the first time, even with using condoms since they are not 100% effective.0
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I dont think you should be embarrassed. If you're at that stage of intimacy then embarrassment goes out the window, doesnt it? A good way of getting round it is "should we both get tested?". But I would only really make that suggestion if we didnt want to use condoms.
This. As a nurse, I hear all this crap about STDs so I'm kinda freaked out about them. I think it's smart to go and get tested. Like Anna said, I think a good way to bring it up is to suggest to get tested together.
Also, while many STDs are "visible", syphilis may be not. A lot of people don't know they have it until they have severe symptoms from it, and that can occur years from now. I don't mean to scare you, but just letting you know.
Better safe than sorry, right?
Ah yes, that's another one! :noway:0 -
I'll just take a multivitamin and I should be good...
LOL j/k.0
