While my hubby and I don't have those issues, I have a really good friend who's in a similar situation, except it's the husband who's in your place. He's been trying for a few years to get his wife into counseling, but she refuses. Sadly, she's driven most of their friends away (me included, at times) and he's at wits-end. Thing is, no matter how much you re-assure him, those are *his issues* and not yours...even though you're in the marriage together. Of course, all this extra stress he puts on you, doesn't help with your seeking better health (mental, physical, other) and, like my friend's situation, your husband probably doesn't realize how selfish and destructive he's being.

If you can, I hope that you can encourage your husband to see a counselor, to get the help he needs. His continuous behavior will become a self-fulfilling prophecy, as he's driving you away.

Above all else, take care of and be good to you!

sounds like he has a lot of anxiety. i would try cognitive therapy. it will teach him to handle those nervous feelings he gets. anxiety is a terrible thing, but it can be controlled with therapy and possibly medication. i'm glad you're working with his sister.

follow the plan your sister in law set up for you. it sounds like you're being incredibly patient, and that is a wonderful thing. love him thru this, thats the best you can do. i hope this gets better for you.

Based on the experiences you describe it sounds like you should look into borderline personality disorder. The problem with personality disorders is that it is very difficult to treat them. I have heard that good help for BPD is DBT (Dialectial Behavior Therapy). If you need more help in researching this let me know.

I went through that with my ex-husband (and he's not my ex because of that, so don't worry ~ hahaha). He used to call me throughout the day and worry about me and the kids constantly. One time, I had forgotten my cell phone at work and when I got home, the kids told me he left to go look for me to make sure I was ok. We went to counseling to address these concerns. He would get to the counselor early and they would have a private session, and then I would be there for the second half. The counseling helped immensely. Of course, he's a man, so you may have to tell him that its for you, rather than him, because if its for you, then is obviously not his problem, so its ok for him to go (Jedi mind tricks, right?).

I would say do not coddle him through this. He is a big boy and he needs to act like one. As with all things in life, you have to set a boundary for how much neediness you are willing to put with and draw a straight line on it. My husband was calling me 50 times a day at work, and when you throw in the kids calling me on top of that, I almost lost my job because my personal life kept bleeding in to my professional life. Not only that, but it can be very stressful FOR YOU. It may sound selfish, but you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else, and if you are constantly at his beck and call to make him feel better about himself, then it might be a good time to take a look at how it is affecting you. I was becoming resentful of him and his problems (which is what led to counseling).

Good luck Ladybug!