Introduction and I need a buddy! Right, Stat, Now :D
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RavenBeauty87
Posts: 83 Member
First off I'll state what I really need right now. It use to be want but now it has gotten to this point. I need someone I can write, of course they can too, when I'm feeling like crap and want to binge. What would be great is to have someone to text. I promise I won't text you randomly saying “What's up I'm bored” it will just be about binging issues. Most of the time when I'm binging it is at night because we watch shows on our computer and I can't turn to my husband and say “Excuse but I need to use the computer so I can talk to someone about my binge problem and I'm feeling the urge right now.” He is supportive in his own way but just not with this issue and I think it is because he doesn't understand which I can't blame him.
Here's a little about me. My name is Desarae, 25 and I have a 7 month old daughter (the weight gain is not from her. I had a C-section and couldn't exercise as quickly as I wanted so I binged all the time. Yup, real smart, that totally fixes the problem.) I'm 5'1” and currently weigh 159lbs. My mini goal weight is 130lbs but my dream is to be 115lbs again. I work from 8-4 as a social worker at a nursing home. It isn't so much stressful as some days are just really depressing so that is a trigger for me. I'm not much of a sweet person but because of the binge problem I will eat sweets for some reason and I don't even enjoy it. My big food is Mexican food I make at home (which is healthier but I eat way too much) and Taco Bell. That place is my downfall. If God asked me “You can eat anywhere everyday and not get fat just pick it.” and I would tell God “TACO BELL!” I'm a vegetarian which makes it more embarrassing because it is suppose to be a healthy lifestyle. I eat as healthy as I can but then eat enough for 5 people so that doesn't help.
I don't want to be on a diet. The funny thing is I can lose weight and I can lose it fast but it's the binging that gets in my way. When it hits 8:00 PM something switches in my mind and I feel like a different person. My whole mind set changes. I'll be on this site all day reading things and super happy to get home and eat that healthy dinner, which I do, but then it hits me. I don't care about anything or what is going on. There was a night, after picking my daughter up at 5 and not getting home till 6, I ate the whole time till she went to bed. Yup, I didn't spend any time with her because I was too busy eating. That's when I was like “I have a problem and it needs to stop.” Last night I put her to bed early because I wanted to go into my room and eat where my husband couldn't see me. It makes me sick even writing that but it allows me to see how bad I've gotten.
I wasn't over weight as a child. The only time I was big, I guess, was when I was on some medicine for asthma and it was just water weight. I didn't start binging until my breakup from this one guy and I was able to stay steady in weight until something happened and I just didn't seem to care anymore. I don't want my daughter to see how I eat and think it is okay. I believe I'm the only one in my family that binge eats and I have no one to talk to about it.
I'm so sick of the comments people make to me. I've moved back to a small town and everyone is use to me being 120lbs at the most and they see me now and the idiots always make some rude comment. I've isolated myself for so long I feel like I've wasted half of my 20's. I want to lose this weight so I can go out to the club with my husband and feel confident. Most of all I want to take pictures with my daughter and not feel like a cow.
If any of this sound familiar please write me.
Here's a little about me. My name is Desarae, 25 and I have a 7 month old daughter (the weight gain is not from her. I had a C-section and couldn't exercise as quickly as I wanted so I binged all the time. Yup, real smart, that totally fixes the problem.) I'm 5'1” and currently weigh 159lbs. My mini goal weight is 130lbs but my dream is to be 115lbs again. I work from 8-4 as a social worker at a nursing home. It isn't so much stressful as some days are just really depressing so that is a trigger for me. I'm not much of a sweet person but because of the binge problem I will eat sweets for some reason and I don't even enjoy it. My big food is Mexican food I make at home (which is healthier but I eat way too much) and Taco Bell. That place is my downfall. If God asked me “You can eat anywhere everyday and not get fat just pick it.” and I would tell God “TACO BELL!” I'm a vegetarian which makes it more embarrassing because it is suppose to be a healthy lifestyle. I eat as healthy as I can but then eat enough for 5 people so that doesn't help.
I don't want to be on a diet. The funny thing is I can lose weight and I can lose it fast but it's the binging that gets in my way. When it hits 8:00 PM something switches in my mind and I feel like a different person. My whole mind set changes. I'll be on this site all day reading things and super happy to get home and eat that healthy dinner, which I do, but then it hits me. I don't care about anything or what is going on. There was a night, after picking my daughter up at 5 and not getting home till 6, I ate the whole time till she went to bed. Yup, I didn't spend any time with her because I was too busy eating. That's when I was like “I have a problem and it needs to stop.” Last night I put her to bed early because I wanted to go into my room and eat where my husband couldn't see me. It makes me sick even writing that but it allows me to see how bad I've gotten.
I wasn't over weight as a child. The only time I was big, I guess, was when I was on some medicine for asthma and it was just water weight. I didn't start binging until my breakup from this one guy and I was able to stay steady in weight until something happened and I just didn't seem to care anymore. I don't want my daughter to see how I eat and think it is okay. I believe I'm the only one in my family that binge eats and I have no one to talk to about it.
I'm so sick of the comments people make to me. I've moved back to a small town and everyone is use to me being 120lbs at the most and they see me now and the idiots always make some rude comment. I've isolated myself for so long I feel like I've wasted half of my 20's. I want to lose this weight so I can go out to the club with my husband and feel confident. Most of all I want to take pictures with my daughter and not feel like a cow.
If any of this sound familiar please write me.
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Replies
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Hey, my name is Carolyn and I also definitely need help. I would love to help you if we could try and recover together. It's ok if you say no, because I'm only 16- I can understand if you think the age difference is weird.
Anyway I know how you feel to be around people who knew you to be really thin before, although I haven't left them and come back larger, I've just gained a lot of weight in only two years.
I'm the same way about the night. I can go the whole day living on an apple, but I'll totally binge on carbs- always carbs- at night. Even if I eat a lot during the day, it's like my body has an internal schedule of when I'm going to binge. It feels like it happens for no reason, no matter what I've eaten or how I've felt that day. Anyway I need to stop especially because it's getting serious and I've binged everyday for 4 days in a row now, which is so embarrassing
I wasn't over weight as a child either, so it almost came as a surprise when all of a sudden I cared about food so much and couldn't control it
It sounds like you're really hard on yourself, by the way. I'm sorry people made comments, that's just cruel.
Good luck0
