How do you explain to others?
glitteringloke
Posts: 40
Weight loss is causing a huge rift in my close friendships. I actually left another site for this one (1. i do like this so much better and 2. to keep from getting myself depressed over the situation.) My one friend has been dropping weight, which is great, but her problem was portions and overeating, so calorie totals was perfect for her. When i said i was leaving that site, she said to just eat 300 calories under my limit.
I was eating less than that already.
I tried explaining that with the hormonal problems that it's not that easy and eating 1300 calories a day obviously wasn't the answer. She still didn't get it. And she's a rather intelligent person. (Side note: I've always ate rather small. I don't have a huge appetite, and even when i'm STARVING, i get full very fast. in her words before any food logging started: "I don't know how you're not a stick")
How do I explain what's going on and just because it works well for her and her husband, that it's OBVIOUSLY not effective for me in a way that she'll "Get it"? This is a stupid thing to have to lose a friendship over, but I don't want to feel uncomfortable hanging out with someone looking at me like "omg that has XX calories in it!"
I was eating less than that already.
I tried explaining that with the hormonal problems that it's not that easy and eating 1300 calories a day obviously wasn't the answer. She still didn't get it. And she's a rather intelligent person. (Side note: I've always ate rather small. I don't have a huge appetite, and even when i'm STARVING, i get full very fast. in her words before any food logging started: "I don't know how you're not a stick")
How do I explain what's going on and just because it works well for her and her husband, that it's OBVIOUSLY not effective for me in a way that she'll "Get it"? This is a stupid thing to have to lose a friendship over, but I don't want to feel uncomfortable hanging out with someone looking at me like "omg that has XX calories in it!"
0
Replies
-
I would print off information for her to read from the internet. Highlight the parts that pertain specifically to your situation and read those statements to her before handing the article(s) to her to read at her leisure. Let her know if she has any questions, you're more than willing to answer them. And let her know what she can do to support you.
With any situation in life, some people can't comprehend what's truly going on until they've been in your shoes. BUT, even if she still doesn't understand what you're going through, she should still be willing to support you in the ways in which you tell her.
Good luck! :flowerforyou:0 -
I would head things off by saying "I'm so glad I can fit this into my meal plan for today". If she asks how that's possible, just shrug. I'm with you on the eating less not working thing. I joined MFP because I was eating "well" and exercising every day and still gaining, or at best maintaining. I am a member of a group on here - I think it's called "In Place of a Road Map" - the idea is finding your right number of calories and macros that works for YOU. The folks on there have been invaluable to me because they are all about finding the proper fuel for your body etc. Maybe you want to check us out.0
-
I would usually say I had PCOS but the explaination was short, something like, it disrupts hormone production and causes insulin resistance putting me at risk for becoming a diabetic which was often more than enough for my friends to understand my eating habits. It also took me some time to learn to eat for my body. I saw an endocrynologist and a nutritionist, that helped a ton.0
-
If she mentions anything you can always let her know that a body with PCOS processed food differently than an unaffected body. I ended up ordering the PCOS Workbook which helped me understand the whole food thing a little better. I found my husband reading it just the other day and I think it really helped him out better to understand why I eat the way I eat.
I do still watch my calories- but I am more concerned on what type of food I eat and when/how often I eat it. I know if I am not getting hungry and maintain a decent energy level throughout the day, I am doing the right thing regardless of any scales.
Best wishes to you and keep going! :flowerforyou:0 -
I recently read the book "A Patient's Guide to PCOS" and it talks about how women with PCOS's bodies only use about 40% of the carbs we intake for fuel; the rest is stored as it's not able to be used by the muscles for energy. This really helped me understand about my tiredness and also why it's so important to limit my carbs. This also REALLY helps me explain to people why I low-carb/diet/have trouble losing weight, and ALSO recently when I turned down a sugared drink for artificially sweetened. My friend was all "artificial sweeteners are worse for you than sugar" and then I had to explain to her what sugar does to my body, and that actually for me, sugar is probably worse.0
-
Thank you for all your great replies ^_^ I'm looking into some of the suggestions, so hopefully something will get through. I'm also taking my blood tests tomorrow to meet with my endo at the end of october (I have a hawaii trip in the middle
) so we'll see where all my levels of everything lie. 0
This discussion has been closed.