Texting / Cell Phone etiquette

Cameron_1969
Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
Am I just old school . . or maybe damaged by experience?

What is the proper etiquette for texting when you are with your SO or even just on a date? Am I wrong to get my dander up when the girl is sitting in the passenger seat on the way to the restaurant texting away with some undisclosed recipient? It just seems rude to me. Should she at least give you a play by play and tell you who she's texting and what it's about? If you ask who she's texting, it comes off as an invasion of privacy. . which is really screwy, since she's right next to you and on a date with YOU! lol. .

That sounded kind of like a rant, which maybe it was a little. . but I really am curious if there's a consensus on this. .
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Replies

  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    Am I just old school . . or maybe damaged by experience?

    What is the proper etiquette for texting when you are with your SO or even just on a date? Am I wrong to get my dander up when the girl is sitting in the passenger seat on the way to the restaurant texting away with some undisclosed recipient? It just seems rude to me. Should she at least give you a play by play and tell you who she's texting and what it's about? If you ask who she's texting, it comes off as an invasion of privacy. . which is really screwy, since she's right next to you and on a date with YOU! lol. .

    That sounded kind of like a rant, which maybe it was a little. . but I really am curious if there's a consensus on this. .

    I think it is very rude to be texting while on a date. Especially in the early stages. I am okay if they tell me up front "hey I am waiting for a text/call from work/friend/ about something important" and they respond with something that is quick. Other then that though if they can't put their phone away for an hour or two to get to know me I don't feel like it is a priority to them.
  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,923 Member
    I guess it depends on the status of the person. Like if it's your SO and you've been seeing each other for awhile, she should be telling you a play by play (or at least that's what me and my SO do). If it's a first/second/third date, she shouldn't be doing it at all. Phone should be turned off when you are with a "new" person. That crap can wait a few hours...
  • Jennifer2387
    Jennifer2387 Posts: 957 Member
    Well, I always have my phone on and check my texts when they come in because I have a child. That being said .. if you don't have a child .. then if you are on a date it is rude to text someone else.

    If you are with someone you have been seeing for a while then I don't think it is a problem and I don't need a play by play of who you are texting.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    I need someone to clue me in too.... when do you make the transition from "no texting b/c we're on a date" to "pull out the phone when it dings because you’re around so much that I *can't* save this for when you're not around"
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    I don’t generally respond to texts on dates but I will check all of them to see if to see if it’s the babysitter. I will also check my phone if my date takes a while in the bathroom. This has made some guys mad, but they get even madder if I sit there doing nothing and some other man comes over to chat me up. This has happened a few times, so I typically choose to look unapproachable by pulling out the phone.

    What irks me is when you’re not on a “date” just hanging out, and the guy gets upset. I had one guy friend get upset that I was checking my texts while my friend had been rushed to the emergency room.
  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,923 Member
    I guess it depends on if the texting is making it seem you like don't want to be there (like back and forth over and over). That's a bad scene. I've yelled at a friend once for doing that for 20 minutes straight when the other 3 people at the restaurant table were having a conversation without her because she was more into the person in the phone than us.
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,252 Member
    Hmmmmm. I always respond to my text messages but so does Mr. Nice guy. I alway let a guy know that I'm on call for work incase of emergency so I have to keep my phone on me at all. Plus I have children so I always atleast see who the text is from. I do tell the guy who the text is from. Usually its my sister or my best friend and I keep it short and sweet. I will rarely anserw the phone though unless it my job or the person my children are with (grandma, father ect). But most of the guys I know will excuse themselves to pick up a phone call. Everybody texts all the time. Maybe because we are all so laid back lol.
  • pammbroo
    pammbroo Posts: 550 Member


    I think it is very rude to be texting while on a date. Especially in the early stages. I am okay if they tell me up front "hey I am waiting for a text/call from work/friend/ about something important" and they respond with something that is quick. Other then that though if they can't put their phone away for an hour or two to get to know me I don't feel like it is a priority to them.

    ^^This. Obviously if there is a child at home, that would be a priority as well. But that can be communicated up front.

    I was on a lunch date with a guy, and he took two different phone calls while he was with me. One was his female friend who needed his help with directions, and the other was his brother who wanted to talk football. Playoffs were on that day. I returned from the restroom and he was chatting away. That should have been my first red flag. lol
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    I dont mind the occasional text. It's when there is a text conversation going on that continually disrupts OUR conversation that it annoys me. That goes for if I'm with friends or a lover or a date.

    I just think its bad form to be out with someone, enjoying their company, with constant interruptions.

    No worries if it's one or two quickies! :bigsmile:
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    I have met people from the internet before, and in those instances I always say "Hey, at X time and Y time I am supposed to let my friend A know that I'm still alive" and apologize if they think it's rude. Usually I make it into a joke. Other than that unless I am in the restroom or he is in the restroom my phone does come out. Obviously if I had kids this would be different, or if I had a friend about to burst from pregnancy I'd want to have it out, but texting continuously is rude.
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member


    I think it is very rude to be texting while on a date. Especially in the early stages. I am okay if they tell me up front "hey I am waiting for a text/call from work/friend/ about something important" and they respond with something that is quick. Other then that though if they can't put their phone away for an hour or two to get to know me I don't feel like it is a priority to them.

    ^^This. Obviously if there is a child at home, that would be a priority as well. But that can be communicated up front.

    I was on a lunch date with a guy, and he took two different phone calls while he was with me. One was his female friend who needed his help with directions, and the other was his brother who wanted to talk football. Playoffs were on that day. I returned from the restroom and he was chatting away. That should have been my first red flag. lol

    I don't mind when someone is texting or talking on the phone while I am away from them but I would like the conversation to be over with in a minute or two after I return.
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
    Am I just old school . . or maybe damaged by experience?

    What is the proper etiquette for texting when you are with your SO or even just on a date? Am I wrong to get my dander up when the girl is sitting in the passenger seat on the way to the restaurant texting away with some undisclosed recipient? It just seems rude to me. Should she at least give you a play by play and tell you who she's texting and what it's about? If you ask who she's texting, it comes off as an invasion of privacy. . which is really screwy, since she's right next to you and on a date with YOU! lol. .

    That sounded kind of like a rant, which maybe it was a little. . but I really am curious if there's a consensus on this. .

    Depends on the circumstance. I have a job where I'm on call 24/7, so if my phone makes a rattle or ring, I usually just give it a 2 second glance to see if it's work.

    Other than that, it's pretty rude. I'm not going to text a buddy "How R U?" when I'm on a date with girl. UNLESS, I'm not interested and trying to get under her skin a little. I've only had to do this once.. and it was kind of fun!
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
    It's rude. If I were on 1st date and he did this excessively, there'd be no 2nd date. Granted, I have been known to leave my phone out on accident on the table while on date and the guy kept looking at it do I put it up. It was rude of me.

    Now I try to remember to put it on silent and out of sight!
  • sunnymel126
    sunnymel126 Posts: 359 Member
    I think it's rude if it is constant. If someone doesn't value the time I'm spending with them then there won't be any future dates. But the same goes for my friends and family. My cousin would text and use the phone constantly when we were out together to the point I wanted to smash the thing. :devil: It's impolite whoever it is.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    In the early stages of dating, this is a no-no. Once something is more established, there's more understanding there.
  • cdngirl71
    cdngirl71 Posts: 2,641 Member
    I think it is rude to be texting on a date, especially if it is a first date. If you have kids, yes it is ok to leave the phone on the table otherwise no, put it in your jacket or us ladies, put it in your purse. Big turn off for me if a guy keeps looking at his phone everytime it beeps or makes a sound.
  • lelliebugh
    lelliebugh Posts: 340 Member
    i do believe it depends on the circumstances. It is rude if it is just to be chatty.
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
    It's rude. Phone needs to be put away. Makes me feel like they are sick of being there with me and want to get going. Who knows? Maybe they are. Of course, emergencies are always exceptions.
  • Jodibear58
    Jodibear58 Posts: 280 Member
    I agree with it being rude, except if it is an urgent message from your child or parent. Then I would explain that I need to respond. Otherwise I say no.
  • Mom2rh
    Mom2rh Posts: 612 Member
    Rude. Should be put away. Unless it's related to children or "are you safe and alive" texts.
  • Mellie289
    Mellie289 Posts: 1,191 Member
    I'm also "old fashioned" about cell phone manners and find it rude. Okay if someone has responsibilities to keep an eye on (children, work) and needs to check that it's not an emergency, but it is completely inconsiderate and inappropriate to be socializing with someone else while you are on a date.

    If someone did that early in dating, I wouldn't continue dating them because it's a serious difference in communication styles and respect that would cause major friction with me.

    It makes me laugh (not really... more like shake my head in despair for humanity) to see two people out in a restaurant, each completely engaged with someone else on their cell phones, either talking or texting. Why are they even out together if they aren't "with" that person other than physically located at the same table?
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    In the early stages of dating, this is a no-no. Once something is more established, there's more understanding there.

    Yep.
  • jesusHchris
    jesusHchris Posts: 1,405 Member
    I'd like to add to this and ask when is it deemed ok to sext while with the person you are seeing? Right now, I've had to either excuse myself and go to the bathroom or very slowly move the phone underneath the table. I hate it when I forget to turn the flash off, though, it is getting more difficult to convince chicks that the random flashes of light near my crotch are coincidence.
  • shammxo
    shammxo Posts: 1,432 Member
    I'd like to add to this and ask when is it deemed ok to sext while with the person you are seeing? Right now, I've had to either excuse myself and go to the bathroom or very slowly move the phone underneath the table. I hate it when I forget to turn the flash off, though, it is getting more difficult to convince chicks that the random flashes of light near my crotch are coincidence.

    Those moves are legitimate. I'd be careful about the under the table thing, though. That's gotten me in trouble a few times.
  • poncho33
    poncho33 Posts: 1,511
    I'd like to add to this and ask when is it deemed ok to sext while with the person you are seeing? Right now, I've had to either excuse myself and go to the bathroom or very slowly move the phone underneath the table. I hate it when I forget to turn the flash off, though, it is getting more difficult to convince chicks that the random flashes of light near my crotch are coincidence.

    This should actually start as soon as you get their phone #
  • jesusHchris
    jesusHchris Posts: 1,405 Member
    I'd like to add to this and ask when is it deemed ok to sext while with the person you are seeing? Right now, I've had to either excuse myself and go to the bathroom or very slowly move the phone underneath the table. I hate it when I forget to turn the flash off, though, it is getting more difficult to convince chicks that the random flashes of light near my crotch are coincidence.

    Those moves are legitimate. I'd be careful about the under the table thing, though. That's gotten me in trouble a few times.

    Ah, trying to pay the tip creatively eh?
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    I'd like to add to this and ask when is it deemed ok to sext while with the person you are seeing? Right now, I've had to either excuse myself and go to the bathroom or very slowly move the phone underneath the table. I hate it when I forget to turn the flash off, though, it is getting more difficult to convince chicks that the random flashes of light near my crotch are coincidence.

    Next time the flash goes off just tell the girl that it was God blessing your love parts. Then ask if she would like to put her hands on the blessing.
  • jesusHchris
    jesusHchris Posts: 1,405 Member
    I'd like to add to this and ask when is it deemed ok to sext while with the person you are seeing? Right now, I've had to either excuse myself and go to the bathroom or very slowly move the phone underneath the table. I hate it when I forget to turn the flash off, though, it is getting more difficult to convince chicks that the random flashes of light near my crotch are coincidence.

    This should actually start as soon as you get their phone #

    Thanks god for the iPhone's new panoramic setting. Oh yeaaah.
    Next time the flash goes off just tell the girl that it was God blessing your love parts. Then ask if she would like to put her hands on the blessing.

    I see the beginnings of an excellent new cult leadership opportunity here.
  • JephaMooi
    JephaMooi Posts: 112 Member
    Thisssssssssss isn't to be rude, but how did the date end up? Perhaps she wasn't interested?

    Not many people these days can speak the truth, so she may have just been going through with the motion while entertaining herself.

    None the less, it really grinds my gears even if a friend texts while hanging out with me. For real, JUST GO HANG OUT WITH THE PERSON YOU ARE TEXTING! haha
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,298 Member
    I'd like to add to this and ask when is it deemed ok to sext while with the person you are seeing? Right now, I've had to either excuse myself and go to the bathroom or very slowly move the phone underneath the table. I hate it when I forget to turn the flash off, though, it is getting more difficult to convince chicks that the random flashes of light near my crotch are coincidence.

    This should actually start as soon as you get their phone #

    Hahaha! Even better if you're on a date and you can take it on their phone lol