Your use of language is interesting. Why have you decided to become vegan? Is it health or ethics related?

Ok, I just started this on Monday, but I haven't decided when to tell anyone yet. I know it's a great thing and all, but my family is EXTREMELY critical. I've tried being vegetarian before and they all bashed me for it and told me I couldn't do it or I'd only last so long so I quit because I felt discouraged. My husband even got mad at me because he said it would effect him as well. And I don't really feel that way. I don't care if he still eats meat or my son does. I'm doing this for me. And we can still go to restaurants together. Even if it's not a vegan friendly place, all restaurants nowadays have salads. So that would be what I'd get. I just don't know what to do. I accidentally spilled the beans on Facebook yesterday and my brother saw it before I could erase it. I'm really freaking out that he's told everyone and I'll hear about it at our weekly family dinner tomorrow. Should I just tell everyone and try not to let it get me down. Or is it really any of their business? I know my husband should know because we live together and now we'll have to use half our grocery money on my vegan foods. Has anyone else felt this way and what did you do?

Change--can be scary. Some people handle it better and others --react.
People who are not vegetarian and with no desire to do so--and no understanding of it--sometimes think being vegetarian--
--is synonymous with anorexia--or latent hippie-syndrome..lol. Fill in the blank.

I'm not sure--it has to be a big statement right now--if you want to transition to vegetarianism, without drama--
and if you're not going to get support from your family. Maybe you are excited about it--but if you want to diffuse the drama--why discuss it to those who do not want to understand? I agree with the other posts about the language.

Why not just say--it's something I'm going to try and leave it at that.


Show them with your actions--and not your "position," that change in your food --does not have to mean a
huge shift in the family lifestyle. Make regular once a week non-meat meals that are both vegan and meat-eater friendly like spinach lasagnas--or three bean chili ...or etc. This way, your husband does not feel alienated from you or you from them as you are transitioning. Plan the meals so you are eating what the family eats with a vegan version-for you. And I would not make a big deal about it,either. There are some WONDERFUL vegan chefs that post recipes that are so similar to the meat-versions. There are also raw chefs with great recipes.

After a while--- you can try some vegan recipe subs-for-meat for the family--- that taste like the real thing.
Ask if your husband would like to try a taste.

So you might have to share your excitement or get support from other vegan-ites--but so what?
The idea is to succeed on this...and it IS a process. You cannot change other's reactions--but you can change YOUR reactions--and your family will take their cue from you--really.

I've been trying to adopt a healthier lifestyle and have cut out everything but honey. Then, I only eat honey if it's in a granola bar or cereal and only every once in a while. That being said....I haven't labeled myself for various reasons. One, I don't qualify as vegan and I'm way beyond vegetarian. But the biggest reason is the lack of educaiton and amount of misinformation out there. I live in a community where hunting is a given for all men and even many of the women. I personally don't hunt nor could I ever hunt. That being said, I am doing my own "eating" thing and when someone notices I'm not eatin much or the normal things, I'm just honest with them as to the reason why. I care about animals but ultimately, my decision is health based. When they snicker and say good luck, I thank them. When they tell me I won't last a week, I just state then when I feel the time is right, I will review my eating habits and make a new determination.

Good luck because, like you, my brother and husband are intent on sabotaging my efforts. Just don't the towel in, that's how they win. Hold your head high and feel confidence in your decision because you are worth it!

I read a book awhile ago, The Sexual Politics of Meat... anyways it was saying that one of the problems with having these conversations is that they typically happen over dinner. The other family members have their argument sitting in front of them, a roast of tasty meat. No matter what you say will fall on deaf ears because of the present of that meat. The book suggested having these conversations away from the dinner table, if you hope for it to be productive at all. I think this applies whether your choice is for health or ethical reasons.