Emotional Fluffer
dixiech1ck
Posts: 769 Member
So, I was listening to my morning show this morning and they were talking about a scenario from "New Girl" in which the guy talks to the main character (female) about how she's an "emotional fluffer." Basically, you do all the things you would do with a significant other with a member of the opposite sex, except be intimate. So you go out, have dinners, stroke their ego, etc. Do you find yourself to be an emotional fluffer... I know I've been there, and it sucks. =/
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deleted b/c I totally got this wrong... oops...
http://onclaysmind.blogspot.com/2012/10/emotional-fluffer.html0 -
Yep. I was very young. Late teens early early 20s. It sucked.0
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Isn't that just the difference between being friends and being in a relationship - whether or not there is intimacy?0
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deleted b/c I totally got this wrong... oops...
http://onclaysmind.blogspot.com/2012/10/emotional-fluffer.html0 -
Isn't that just the difference between being friends and being in a relationship - whether or not there is intimacy?
Yes, but there's a term now for that inbetween. I'm kind of in that situation now myself. It's difficult to pull out of because you are mentally at one place and the other person isn't. =/0 -
Isn't that just the difference between being friends and being in a relationship - whether or not there is intimacy?
Not necessarily. It's one of the things that happens when you're into someone, and they let you take them out to dinner, buy them flowers, talk all the time, etc etc, but things never develop physically, because they REALLY LIKE YOU...stroking their ego. So you catch on to this, but can't really break it off, because you still have a stupid *kitten* hope that it could go somewhere, or you're just so used to the way things are and you like them that you would rather have that faux-relationship than none at all.0 -
I wasn't even aware this was a thing? I've never been an emotional fluffer that I'm aware of.0
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I wasn't even aware this was a thing? I've never been an emotional fluffer that I'm aware of.
Same here!! New one on me......
So one person (male or female?) want to be with another person but that person doesnt want to be with them but takes advantage of the relationship benefits, apart from sex??
Hmmm! So I buy a guy dinner, take him to weddings, introduce him to my freinds, ask him round to fix my plumbing, but dont sleep with him? Is this cos I'm afraid of intimacy or he just doesnt want to know? And if he doenst want to know, then why am I doing all this?? :noway:0 -
I wasn't even aware this was a thing? I've never been an emotional fluffer that I'm aware of.
Same here!! New one on me......
So one person (male or female?) want to be with another person but that person doesnt want to be with them but takes advantage of the relationship benefits, apart from sex??
Hmmm! So I buy a guy dinner, take him to weddings, introduce him to my freinds, ask him round to fix my plumbing, but dont sleep with him? Is this cos I'm afraid of intimacy or he just doesnt want to know? And if he doenst want to know, then why am I doing all this?? :noway:
I've never had this either, but can only assume that one party is simply playing the other to avoid being completely alone. I like you enough... to hang out with, or cuddle with or have you buy me things, but not more than that. Again, just what I read into here.0 -
No, I have not been in that situation.0
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Are you trying to tell me there are chicks that go out with guys, have dinner and want to have sex with the guy but the guy does all this and doesn't want to have sex with the woman? I'm calling BS on this one. Unless you met the guy at a gay bar or he was introduced to you by a guy you met at a guy bar, this seem rather far fetched.0
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I am at a loss here trying to figure this out.
If that was something you did to a guy well yes it sucks but it can`t be undone now,learn from it and go on.
If this is something you experienced then the question is why did you allow it to happen?
Was it a situation you had feelings but knew he did not yet thought you could somehow change his mind?0 -
Sounds like the friends zone..it already has that name.
More like you want the full meal deal but you are just a friend.
So emotional fluffer=friends zone0 -
Are you trying to tell me there are chicks that go out with guys, have dinner and want to have sex with the guy but the guy does all this and doesn't want to have sex with the woman? I'm calling BS on this one. Unless you met the guy at a gay bar or he was introduced to you by a guy you met at a guy bar, this seem rather far fetched.
I wouldn't have believed it either, but I actually kinda had something like this happen though. There was a guy I met through work, we really hit it off, so suddenly we were going to dinner and church together, and talking every night for hours (and not innocent talk). I definitely was interested in more. HE however was healing from a divorce and wanted someone to make him feel good. I told him how I felt. He told me he didn't feel the same but wanted us to stay close. I asked for some space to get over my crush, yet he would not back off. He finally admitted that he LOVED me having a crush on him. It gave him an ego boost so he was willing to do what it took to keep me around but didn't want to be intimate with me.
Needless to say, we don't talk any more. I had to completely draw the separation line. Not fun, OP, I understand. It doesn't change. Most guys know fairly quickly if they want to sleep with you or not... if they don't want to, that's hard to change (hard to get out of the friend zone as Kerry said).0 -
Yes, it's called "being friends"So, I was listening to my morning show this morning and they were talking about a scenario from "New Girl" in which the guy talks to the main character (female) about how she's an "emotional fluffer." Basically, you do all the things you would do with a significant other with a member of the opposite sex, except be intimate. So you go out, have dinners, stroke their ego, etc. Do you find yourself to be an emotional fluffer... I know I've been there, and it sucks. =/
But if there's cuddling involved but no sex, then it's just weird.0 -
Er. FL and I were in each other's emotional fluffers'. I saw the New Girl episode. Her guy friend was being her emotional fluffer as she was having a no strings attached sexual relationship with a hottie (she usually didn't do such a thing) and her guy friend was being the emotional one to her while hottie was getting the action.
I love New Girl!0 -
My roomie kind of did this, but not on purpose. She gave the guy a chance, but she just wasn't feeling him. She told him this many times, yet he still persisted and was cool with just being friends, except for like once a week where he would buy her flowers and talk about how he wasn't gonna give up and stuff. She didn't want to end the friendship because they're coworkers and she didn't want it to be awkward.. he's still kind of emo about the situation, but I think he's finally given up.0
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Er. FL and I were in each other's emotional fluffers'. I saw the New Girl episode. Her guy friend was being her emotional fluffer as she was having a no strings attached sexual relationship with a hottie (she usually didn't do such a thing) and her guy friend was being the emotional one to her while hottie was getting the action.
I love New Girl!
I love New Girl too!0 -
In some circles, this is considered building a solid foundation for a long and satisfying marriage, lol.So I buy a guy dinner, take him to weddings, introduce him to my friends, ask him round to fix my plumbing, but don’t sleep with him?
I honestly have trouble understanding how a man in today’s culture would last long in this scenario, but I see it happen all the time with women meeting the emotional needs in a man’s life thinking they are headed to a relationship but then discovers he’s never going to be in a relationship with her- was just using her as a temporary fill. Been in this position myself.0 -
Er. FL and I were in each other's emotional fluffers'. I saw the New Girl episode. Her guy friend was being her emotional fluffer as she was having a no strings attached sexual relationship with a hottie (she usually didn't do such a thing) and her guy friend was being the emotional one to her while hottie was getting the action.
I love New Girl!
I love New Girl too!
Me too and The Mindy Project.0 -
i have a mutually beneficial emotional fluffer situation with my BFF - his girl lives in california and they wont do LDR... Im single - so - yeah - we snuggle up to go to sleep, have slumber parties all the time, go out arm in arm, tell each other how hot we are and stroke each others egos, go to lovely dinners, halloween costume it up, drink all night on the couch, cook each other dinner, use each other as dates for important events....
why do I feel single again?
Oh... no love.0
