Beliefs don't align with spouse or significant other
summertime_girl
Posts: 3,945 Member
Anyone else live with someone who is on the opposite end of the political spectrum? While we don't discuss politics, per se, the belief system behind the point of view is very much a part of who we are. There isn't a way around it.
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Yep! My husband is more Republican than Democrat, and I look at things more Democrat than Republican (although we both consider ourselves Independents). Top that off with, he's a devout Catholic, and a lot of my beliefs pretty much throw theirs out the window.
Sadly, we don't have much to talk about and if met today, probably would never last past the first date.
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No, not really. While we may have a few minor disagreements on policy (in politics) or doctrine (in religion).... the intent behind them are the same and usually it's not that much different. With that said, we are both pretty libertarian Republicans and Baptists. My husband actually pulled me closer to the middle (from the far right) because when we would talk politics he would make a lot of sense.0
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My wife is a devout Christian and Republican while I am an atheist liberal
Talking about the kids are a treat lol. 0 -
Eh, we used to. When we met, I was an atheist liberal...he was a Christian conservative. I'm still an atheist liberal, but he is now a...well, I'm not sure what he is. He's no longer a Christian, and he's no longer conservative. We disagree on some issues, but overall, I think I've rubbed off on him. :laugh: The things we did have in common were more "fun" things like hobbies and such, so these issues rarely came up, and when they did, we usually argued or just agreed to disagree. It's more deeper than the labels I've placed on us for clarification purposes, but we were pretty opposite on the beliefs spectrum. Now, we're not.0
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My wife fuchs really good.0
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I did this once - it was religion and I don't know how it lasted as long as it did. It's not that we has horribly different outlooks on life in general terms, but there was just no easy way (for me) to reconcile the supernatural aspect of things.
My parents are politically split - my mom's a die-hard liberal and my stepdad's some sort of republican (we don't talk about it but I know he's not a jerk and is more socially left than the textbook definition)..0 -
I'm so liberal. And while my husband has always been more conservative than me, he was at least reasonable. Now he seems to be turning into a Tea Party talking head. It's awful.0
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My wife makes me think she believes what I tell her to believe but I don't believe it.0
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My wife makes me think she believes what I tell her to believe but I don't believe it.
Women are good at that. :-)0 -
My wife is a devout Christian and Republican while I am an atheist liberal Talking about the kids are a treat lol.
lol you sounds like me and mine (only reverse)0 -
My wife was raised Mormon. I was raised Catholic.
My wife is a Democrat. I am a Republican.
She likes CW and Pop. I like Blues and Rock.
She analyzes each situation and considers consequences before taking action. I act and deal with the consequences afterwards.
I've never been in a better relationship or loved a woman more than I love her. Viva la difference.0 -
My wife was raised Mormon. I was raised Catholic.
My wife is a Democrat. I am a Republican.
She likes CW and Pop. I like Blues and Rock.
She analyzes each situation and considers consequences before taking action. I act and deal with the consequences afterwards.
I've never been in a better relationship or loved a woman more than I love her. Viva la difference.
Your love for Jan gives me hope for me and Brian. We have differences on all the same things for the most part. :happy:
Sadly, our only REAL argument was about Skylar on Breaking Bad. :bigsmile:0 -
I'm so liberal. And while my husband has always been more conservative than me, he was at least reasonable. Now he seems to be turning into a Tea Party talking head. It's awful.
That does sound bad - is there any explication of his thoughts or is he just mouthing off?0 -
I was raised in a very Catholic household. My mom is a Christian Republican and my dad thinks Fox "News" is factual but is an atheist. Mom and dad are both Republican. Hubby never really went to church growing up. His parents are union Democrats and have nothing to do with religion. Ironically, I'm more liberal than hubby is. I have no use for organized religion at all. Hubby doesn't care either way. I'm pro choice, pro gay rights. Hubby s pro choice but a bit of a homophobe. I'm voting Obama and can actually give reasons why. Hubby isn't sure but aside from talking head points that amount to "I don't like Obama" without any factual reason he can't say why he's unsure and he (like everyone else I know) can't /won't say what they like about Romney.
Hubby is in Afghanistan right now so we only get to talk on the phone and he doesn't have much access to things like factcheck.org or politifact.com so his opinions are based mostly off lies he's heard. When we do talk and I give him the real facts he starts to lean towards Obama. He'd be more of a Republican if they weren't trying to make America into a Theology and we're trying to make government so small it can fit in your vagina. Heck, I might even be more Republican if that were the case. I've voted McCain several times (for Senator, for POTUS in 2008, and in the primary in 2000) and I love that old crazy bastage Joe Arpaio in AZ. But they are (or McCain was 10 years ago anyhow) real Republicans.0 -
I couldn't be married to someone who help opposite views when it came to social issues. There is simply no way I could be with someone who wanted to take away rights of others. I wouldn't have any respect for them, so obviously a relationship wouldn't work. I feel the same about religion. I find it so silly and honestly believe there is some sort of mental illness at play that I just don't think I could be with someone who believed it.
I couldn't care less what others do though, so if it works for you (general) that is great! I just know myself and know it wouldn't work. I know it wouldn't work for my husband either. Thank goodness we found each other!0 -
My husband and I are of the same mind on religion. We're both atheists, and we are very adamant about raising our child without religion. Politically, my husband is MUCH more liberal than I am. I am more of a moderate liberal and was a registered independent until 2008. The only reason I changed my registration to "democrat" was so I could vote in the primaries.
I'm certain that I could not be married to someone and have children with them if they had opposing views, especially religious ones. That being said, I have no problems with my friends having their own choice in faith and politics, and know a lot of people who are devout and conservative. When it comes to raising children, I need to be on the same page as my spouse for most issues.0 -
I would say that my boyfriend and my beliefs come from different ends of the spectrum, but they are complementary from a lifestyle position. In terms of politics, I was definitely raised to be solidly liberal, and have actually made my parents more liberal in some ways. BF was born in a Communist country, so he defaults to be more conservative, though he is sufficiently liberal on social issues that it's not a problem. Getting along is probably helped by the fact that our political views are not part of our identity, and we both feel pretty jaded about people who agree with us politically.
As for religion, I believe in everything and BF believes in nothing, but we're both Jewish so that's not a problem either.0 -
I feel the same about religion. I find it so silly and honestly believe there is some sort of mental illness at play that I just don't think I could be with someone who believed it.
Hey SarahMorganP, judgemental much? LOL! That's how people felt about gays and hippies. If it were a mental illness, more people would be recieving SSI. I'm also sure lots of people in high places in the science and intellectual world ( on Earth of course ) would disagree with you.
Most people marry their polar opposite. I'm no different. It makes life an interesting thing everyday. Our political views are different, our lifestyle views are different. She doesn't play videogames at all, while I can do that all day. She's way more conservative than I. We follow the same faith (or mental illness, whichever way you see it), but some of our views are even polar there. It makes for some very interesting conversations and debate in the house. Not to say that we don't have anything in common. We're both trekies, both engineers, enjoy the fantasy fiction films and books, run together and enjoy the same foods and many other things that keep us doing things together.0 -
I feel the same about religion. I find it so silly and honestly believe there is some sort of mental illness at play that I just don't think I could be with someone who believed it.
Hey SarahMorganP, judgemental much? LOL! That's how people felt about gays and hippies. If it were a mental illness, more people would be recieving SSI. I'm also sure lots of people in high places in the science and intellectual world ( on Earth of course ) would disagree with you.
Most people marry their polar opposite. I'm no different. It makes life an interesting thing everyday. Our political views are different, our lifestyle views are different. She doesn't play videogames at all, while I can do that all day. She's way more conservative than I. We follow the same faith (or mental illness, whichever way you see it), but some of our views are even polar there. It makes for some very interesting conversations and debate in the house. Not to say that we don't have anything in common. We're both trekies, both engineers, enjoy the fantasy fiction films and books, run together and enjoy the same foods and many other things that keep us doing things together.
I'm glad it works for you. It wouldn't work for me. To me a belief in a higher power is the exact same as someone believing in unicorns or the easter bunny. If someone told me they believe that fire breathing dragons rule the earth and when you die you go to live with them I would think it just as crazy as people believing in a god. Same exact thing to me. I'm sorry if that offends you, I don't say it to be mean, I say it because it is honestly how I feel. I do not try to take away the right for anyone to believe it though. I don't care what anyone believes as long as they don't try to make laws based on their religion.0 -
My husband and I see eye-to-eye on political matters. That's always been the case.
Together, we have discovered/discussed/shaped our thoughts on religious matters. Neither of us had a religion when we met. Now, we share a set of beliefs that are aligned with our values and thoughts and we developed those together, in response to a set of books we both read and both felt very strongly about.
The only category in which we are very, very different is our taste in music. That's the kind of difference I can easily set aside :laugh: I would not be able to have a long-term relationship with someone whose political and religious thoughts didn't align hamoniously with my own. I would feel frustrated every election that he was "canceling out" my vote, haha.0 -
I feel the same about religion. I find it so silly and honestly believe there is some sort of mental illness at play that I just don't think I could be with someone who believed it.
Hey SarahMorganP, judgemental much? LOL! That's how people felt about gays and hippies. If it were a mental illness, more people would be recieving SSI. I'm also sure lots of people in high places in the science and intellectual world ( on Earth of course ) would disagree with you.
Most people marry their polar opposite. I'm no different. It makes life an interesting thing everyday. Our political views are different, our lifestyle views are different. She doesn't play videogames at all, while I can do that all day. She's way more conservative than I. We follow the same faith (or mental illness, whichever way you see it), but some of our views are even polar there. It makes for some very interesting conversations and debate in the house. Not to say that we don't have anything in common. We're both trekies, both engineers, enjoy the fantasy fiction films and books, run together and enjoy the same foods and many other things that keep us doing things together.
I'm glad it works for you. It wouldn't work for me. To me a belief in a higher power is the exact same as someone believing in unicorns or the easter bunny. If someone told me they believe that fire breathing dragons rule the earth and when you die you go to live with them I would think it just as crazy as people believing in a god. Same exact thing to me. I'm sorry if that offends you, I don't say it to be mean, I say it because it is honestly how I feel. I do not try to take away the right for anyone to believe it though. I don't care what anyone believes as long as they don't try to make laws based on their religion.
Hey SarahMorgan, I am not talking about your personal views and beliefs. You can believe whatever. But when you say something like "I think it's a mental sickness", but have no facts to back up your ignorant statement, makes you sounds not so brilliant.0 -
I feel the same about religion. I find it so silly and honestly believe there is some sort of mental illness at play that I just don't think I could be with someone who believed it.
Hey SarahMorganP, judgemental much? LOL! That's how people felt about gays and hippies. If it were a mental illness, more people would be recieving SSI. I'm also sure lots of people in high places in the science and intellectual world ( on Earth of course ) would disagree with you.
Most people marry their polar opposite. I'm no different. It makes life an interesting thing everyday. Our political views are different, our lifestyle views are different. She doesn't play videogames at all, while I can do that all day. She's way more conservative than I. We follow the same faith (or mental illness, whichever way you see it), but some of our views are even polar there. It makes for some very interesting conversations and debate in the house. Not to say that we don't have anything in common. We're both trekies, both engineers, enjoy the fantasy fiction films and books, run together and enjoy the same foods and many other things that keep us doing things together.
I'm glad it works for you. It wouldn't work for me. To me a belief in a higher power is the exact same as someone believing in unicorns or the easter bunny. If someone told me they believe that fire breathing dragons rule the earth and when you die you go to live with them I would think it just as crazy as people believing in a god. Same exact thing to me. I'm sorry if that offends you, I don't say it to be mean, I say it because it is honestly how I feel. I do not try to take away the right for anyone to believe it though. I don't care what anyone believes as long as they don't try to make laws based on their religion.
Hey SarahMorgan, I am not talking about your personal views and beliefs. You can believe whatever. But when you say something like "I think it's a mental sickness", but have no facts to back up your ignorant statement, makes you sounds not so brilliant.
This is a perfect example of what I was talking about with me and my boyfriend (the part where I default liberal and he defaults conservative, but we are in agreement on basic values)! Or, as he phrases it, some of the most closed-minded people he's met are the ones who are convinced that they are more open-minded than everyone else. 0 -
I feel the same about religion. I find it so silly and honestly believe there is some sort of mental illness at play that I just don't think I could be with someone who believed it.
Hey SarahMorganP, judgemental much? LOL! That's how people felt about gays and hippies. If it were a mental illness, more people would be recieving SSI. I'm also sure lots of people in high places in the science and intellectual world ( on Earth of course ) would disagree with you.
Most people marry their polar opposite. I'm no different. It makes life an interesting thing everyday. Our political views are different, our lifestyle views are different. She doesn't play videogames at all, while I can do that all day. She's way more conservative than I. We follow the same faith (or mental illness, whichever way you see it), but some of our views are even polar there. It makes for some very interesting conversations and debate in the house. Not to say that we don't have anything in common. We're both trekies, both engineers, enjoy the fantasy fiction films and books, run together and enjoy the same foods and many other things that keep us doing things together.
I'm glad it works for you. It wouldn't work for me. To me a belief in a higher power is the exact same as someone believing in unicorns or the easter bunny. If someone told me they believe that fire breathing dragons rule the earth and when you die you go to live with them I would think it just as crazy as people believing in a god. Same exact thing to me. I'm sorry if that offends you, I don't say it to be mean, I say it because it is honestly how I feel. I do not try to take away the right for anyone to believe it though. I don't care what anyone believes as long as they don't try to make laws based on their religion.
Hey SarahMorgan, I am not talking about your personal views and beliefs. You can believe whatever. But when you say something like "I think it's a mental sickness", but have no facts to back up your ignorant statement, makes you sounds not so brilliant.
That is exactly what you are talking about. It is my PERSONAL BELIEF that a belief in a higher power is a mental illness. I'm not saying that it is a scientific fact. Just my opinion. Just like I think most veggies are nasty and taste like *kitten*. Opinion.0 -
I'm so liberal. And while my husband has always been more conservative than me, he was at least reasonable. Now he seems to be turning into a Tea Party talking head. It's awful.
I would die.
My husband agree on religion and theism. We are both fairly liberal with our conservative moments. We're a good balance.0 -
I feel the same about religion. I find it so silly and honestly believe there is some sort of mental illness at play that I just don't think I could be with someone who believed it.
Hey SarahMorganP, judgemental much? LOL! That's how people felt about gays and hippies. If it were a mental illness, more people would be recieving SSI. I'm also sure lots of people in high places in the science and intellectual world ( on Earth of course ) would disagree with you.
Most people marry their polar opposite. I'm no different. It makes life an interesting thing everyday. Our political views are different, our lifestyle views are different. She doesn't play videogames at all, while I can do that all day. She's way more conservative than I. We follow the same faith (or mental illness, whichever way you see it), but some of our views are even polar there. It makes for some very interesting conversations and debate in the house. Not to say that we don't have anything in common. We're both trekies, both engineers, enjoy the fantasy fiction films and books, run together and enjoy the same foods and many other things that keep us doing things together.
I'm glad it works for you. It wouldn't work for me. To me a belief in a higher power is the exact same as someone believing in unicorns or the easter bunny. If someone told me they believe that fire breathing dragons rule the earth and when you die you go to live with them I would think it just as crazy as people believing in a god. Same exact thing to me. I'm sorry if that offends you, I don't say it to be mean, I say it because it is honestly how I feel. I do not try to take away the right for anyone to believe it though. I don't care what anyone believes as long as they don't try to make laws based on their religion.
Hey SarahMorgan, I am not talking about your personal views and beliefs. You can believe whatever. But when you say something like "I think it's a mental sickness", but have no facts to back up your ignorant statement, makes you sounds not so brilliant.
That is exactly what you are talking about. It is my PERSONAL BELIEF that a belief in a higher power is a mental illness. I'm not saying that it is a scientific fact. Just my opinion. Just like I think most veggies are nasty and taste like *kitten*. Opinion.
People need to stop having personal beliefs about science. Particularly when those personal beliefs can be used to justify taking away people's rights because they are not competent to exercise them. Saying that believing in a higher power is stupid is an opinion. Saying that believing in a higher power is a disease is an attack.0 -
Wait, are you saying that mentally illness automatically disqualifies someone from being a good life partner? Because now you're not just attacking theists; you're attacking the mentally ill.0
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Wait, are you saying that mentally illness automatically disqualifies someone from being a good life partner? Because now you're not just attacking theists; you're attacking the mentally ill.
Oh for ****s sake. That is not what I am saying. My husband and myself both have mental illnesses. In fact my husbands problems are so severe he hasn't been able to work in 6 years leaving me to support our family of 5 on not much more than minimum wage. Most people think I should leave him because they can't see his issues and think he is just lazy. I love my husband more than life, and would never leave him for a mental illness. UNLESS that mental illness caused him to try and make laws that take away the rights of other people or made him think others were worth less than him just because they were different.
Are you honestly telling me that if someone told you that they believed in magical flying fairies (and that they "talked" to them and that those fairies had an amazingly wonderful beautiful place for them and everyone else when they died to go to for all of eternity) that you would not think they might have some kind of mental illness? Really? And if you would think that they have some kind of mental illness then WHY would that be any different than me believing belief in a higher power is a mental illness? Because to me, belief in a higher power and belief in a flying fairy is the exact same. I am not attacking anyone, theists or the mentally ill. But if it makes you feel better to think that, please go right ahead.0 -
That is actually what you said. Your exact words were:
Please feel free to explain why you think believing in a deity is a mental disease so terrible that it makes people unsuitable as a partner, but whatever your husband's mental illness is does not. Oh, and make sure that your answer doesn't treat Christianity and Islam as representative of all religions, since most religions do not actually believe that everyone should join them or follow their rules.I feel the same about religion. I find it so silly and honestly believe there is some sort of mental illness at play that I just don't think I could be with someone who believed it.
The fairy example is not a good one, unless the person was using the term fairy as an approximation of their culture's conception of spirits as opposed to claiming that they could see and interact with the fairies. If someone told me they saw God and God spoke to them, I would assume they were crazy, too.0 -
That is actually what you said. Your exact words were:
Please feel free to explain why you think believing in a deity is a mental disease so terrible that it makes people unsuitable as a partner, but whatever your husband's mental illness is does not. Oh, and make sure that your answer doesn't treat Christianity and Islam as representative of all religions, since most religions do not actually believe that everyone should join them or follow their rules.I feel the same about religion. I find it so silly and honestly believe there is some sort of mental illness at play that I just don't think I could be with someone who believed it.
The fairy example is not a good one, unless the person was using the term fairy as an approximation of their culture's conception of spirits as opposed to claiming that they could see and interact with the fairies. If someone told me they saw God and God spoke to them, I would assume they were crazy, too.
I believe you have your answer right here.....My husband and myself both have mental illnesses.0 -
That was uncalled for.That is actually what you said. Your exact words were:
Please feel free to explain why you think believing in a deity is a mental disease so terrible that it makes people unsuitable as a partner, but whatever your husband's mental illness is does not. Oh, and make sure that your answer doesn't treat Christianity and Islam as representative of all religions, since most religions do not actually believe that everyone should join them or follow their rules.I feel the same about religion. I find it so silly and honestly believe there is some sort of mental illness at play that I just don't think I could be with someone who believed it.
The fairy example is not a good one, unless the person was using the term fairy as an approximation of their culture's conception of spirits as opposed to claiming that they could see and interact with the fairies. If someone told me they saw God and God spoke to them, I would assume they were crazy, too.
I believe you have your answer right here.....My husband and myself both have mental illnesses.0
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