Hand Holding!!
penrbrown
Posts: 2,685 Member
Since we don't have many topics I thought I'd start one.
What do you all think of hand holding during the Our Father?
In my old parish we didn't do it but I moved a year ago and my new parish holds hands during this time. I don't like it. ): I'm not a touchy feely person so it's a very uncomfortable thing for me to be holding the hand of virtual strangers for such an extended time but I'm not willing to reject a hand that's held out to me (in other words, I don't reach out to them but if they reach out to me I take their hand).
Does your parish participate in the hand holding?
What do you think of it?
What do you all think of hand holding during the Our Father?
In my old parish we didn't do it but I moved a year ago and my new parish holds hands during this time. I don't like it. ): I'm not a touchy feely person so it's a very uncomfortable thing for me to be holding the hand of virtual strangers for such an extended time but I'm not willing to reject a hand that's held out to me (in other words, I don't reach out to them but if they reach out to me I take their hand).
Does your parish participate in the hand holding?
What do you think of it?
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Replies
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Ours does. I don't mind it because I'm usually in between Mark and one of the kids. I also don't mind it because we're supposed to be family. We shake hands (or hug) during the sign of peace and we all drink from the chalice, so I don't really mind holding hands with someone I don't know.0
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My home parish holds hands but the parish that has the school that my children attend does not. I don't really mind either way. If I have a cold then I let the person beside me know so that they don't grab my hand (I also just say "peace" instead of shaking hands in that case). There is a woman at my home parish that does not like to hold hands. She puts her hands together in front of her and no one grabs for her hands. No one has a problem with that. Maybe you could do that if you don't like to hold hands.0
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I think we have a priest in our group, so if I'm wrong, Father, please correct me. I believe that in the GIRM we are instructed NOT to hold hands during the Our Father. My last parish and my current parish do the hand-holding. For a long while, I just folded my hands. I began to feel, though, that by being "different," I might be a distraction to people around me. So, I did begin joining in the hand holding. I don't have any phobias about touching other people's hands, but what I don't like is when someone yanks my arm up in the air during the prayer immediately after the Our Father, the one that starts "for the kingdom, the power..." Why do people do that?? Some days, it's just annoying, but when my shoulder is tender, it's down right painful.0
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I don't think the GIRM forbids holding holds during the Our Father but, on the other hand, it does not prescribe holding hands. My understanding is that holding hands has become an American custom during the Mass and is not forbidden but is also not required. Some parishes do it and others do not (although my guess is that the majority do). I suspect the raising of the hands is intended to be an outward expression of worship (there are a number of biblical texts that speak of "lifting up hands" to God, sort of as a sign of surrender to God as well as directing attention to God), corresponding to the doxology ("for thine is the kingdom...").0
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I like it! Our parish goes all out. We hold hands, raise hands after the Our father prayer AND squeeze hands when finished. Plus we shake hands during the Peace part. Hehe.0
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My issue with it is that it seems highly strange to hold someone's hand then directly after turn around to shake their hand for the sign of peace. It's just odd to me. Seems like forced fellowship in a way as well. The same people who hold my hand one moment can't even be bothered to say hello at the end of Mass the next moment. *shrug*
This weekend I was all alone in my pew and the fellow behind waved his hand beside me until I took it. Haha! It kind of made me smile.0 -
I like it too. We hold hands, raise hands and squeeze. For the sign of peace, we hug! We only shake hands with people we don't know. I live in rural Tennessee and we know almost everybody. We do have visitors from Memphis often but we are a tight knit community! The downside is that protestants can be cruel to Catholics...especially children. My children have had to defend themselves at school because they were verbally attacked by uneducated protestant children.0
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It's sad that your children have to go through that. Many of the protestants just don't know any better. They are taught such awful, and untrue, things about the Catholic Church. I recently spent a month in Georgia. On the first day there, my "Catholics Come Home" magnet was stolen from my car. But on the bright side: I overheard two women talking. One was telling the other how her brother converted to the Catholic Church and her parents were beside themselves, but "there are good people in every faith." The other positive thing that happened was an announcement I heard in Mass in a little Georgia town. There was an interfaith prayer service, and for the FIRST TIME EVER in that little town, the Catholics had been invited to join in. BTW, the prayer service was for religious freedom in response to the healthcare mandates...I like it too. We hold hands, raise hands and squeeze. For the sign of peace, we hug! We only shake hands with people we don't know. I live in rural Tennessee and we know almost everybody. We do have visitors from Memphis often but we are a tight knit community! The downside is that protestants can be cruel to Catholics...especially children. My children have had to defend themselves at school because they were verbally attacked by uneducated protestant children.0 -
I will say that there have been days when I am alone at mass and it is nice to feel connected to others when I am praying such a powerful prayer. After all, we come to mass to pray in mass--to be one body.
I don't think you have to hold hands or shake hands, if you don't want.
It is so strange to me that other sects of Christianity hold so much resentment towards us (or their perception of us). I am not sure why they are so concerned with us.0 -
I will say that there have been days when I am alone at mass and it is nice to feel connected to others when I am praying such a powerful prayer. After all, we come to mass to pray in mass--to be one body.
I don't think you have to hold hands or shake hands, if you don't want.
It is so strange to me that other sects of Christianity hold so much resentment towards us (or their perception of us). I am not sure why they are so concerned with us.
It's not voluntary. I suppose that's my biggest issue with it. It's not actually liturgical and if you refrain you're treated like scum. (I've been glared at and given the cold shoulder because I refused to hold hands during the Our Father when I had a cold. I was truly surprised at the depth of the negativity aimed at me for such a simple thing).
And it is strange the resentment and anger that gets leveled at Catholics. I experience it all the time but I kind of have fun correcting people's misconceptions!0 -
There are some people at my church who refrain from holding hands. That is their right. I've never seen anyone give them a dirty look or shun them and I've never heard them mention feeling like an outcast or weirdo because of it. Come to Tennessee!!!
quote]I will say that there have been days when I am alone at mass and it is nice to feel connected to others when I am praying such a powerful prayer. After all, we come to mass to pray in mass--to be one body.
I don't think you have to hold hands or shake hands, if you don't want.
It is so strange to me that other sects of Christianity hold so much resentment towards us (or their perception of us). I am not sure why they are so concerned with us.
It's not voluntary. I suppose that's my biggest issue with it. It's not actually liturgical and if you refrain you're treated like scum. (I've been glared at and given the cold shoulder because I refused to hold hands during the Our Father when I had a cold. I was truly surprised at the depth of the negativity aimed at me for such a simple thing).
And it is strange the resentment and anger that gets leveled at Catholics. I experience it all the time but I kind of have fun correcting people's misconceptions!
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There are some people at my church who refrain from holding hands. That is their right. I've never seen anyone give them a dirty look or shun them and I've never heard them mention feeling like an outcast or weirdo because of it. Come to Tennessee!!!
I think the rules change when you live in a small town. You get with the program or you're shunned. Haha! There is a fellow who kneel when receiving the Eucharist. And a lady who wears a proper mantilla. You would be shocked the horrible things I've heard people say about them behind their back. ![:\](https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/resources/emoji/confused.png ":\")
Ugh. But because they aren't towing the line and doing what everyone else is doing they mark themselves as 'other' and we don't like 'other'. (I know I shouldn't make fun of a bad situation but I can't help it!)
I'd love to come to Tennessee! I think it would be interesting to experience Mass in different cultures!0 -
The last 3 priests we have jade are from Nigeria. Even though there are still a lot of prejudice people in rural Tennessee, they have all been accepted warmly.0
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The only time I've experienced hand holding during the Our Father is at the youth masses given for World Youth Day. Those who are charismatics will hold open their hands during the Our Father, with their palms facing up in our regular Sunday masses. And since the SARS epidemic (chance of contagion was real), the handshake has been largely, but not uniformly replaced by a bow towards the other person. Drinking from the common cup also stopped at that time as well. This is because the SARS virus got into a group of Charismatics in Toronto and many died. Because we are just down the road from Toronto, the Church got into a major prevention mode. Communion on the tongue (not in huge demand) was also stopped and has not resumed.0
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The only time I've experienced hand holding during the Our Father is at the youth masses given for World Youth Day. Those who are charismatics will hold open their hands during the Our Father, with their palms facing up in our regular Sunday masses. And since the SARS epidemic (chance of contagion was real), the handshake has been largely, but not uniformly replaced by a bow towards the other person. Drinking from the common cup also stopped at that time as well. This is because the SARS virus got into a group of Charismatics in Toronto and many died. Because we are just down the road from Toronto, the Church got into a major prevention mode. Communion on the tongue (not in huge demand) was also stopped and has not resumed.
I'm not sure how communion on the tongue would be any more dangerous then communion in the hand? Isn't the host being given by the same hand? And wouldn't there be an equal chance of infection if said person was a carrier? (I know this is off topic but that struck me as odd)0 -
I think that it's probably not that the Priest or Eucharistic Minister might have SARS, but rather that their hand might come in contact with the lip or tongue of someone carrying SARS. The priest or EM's hand could then spread the infection to the people following in line. In my last parish, I was an EM, and it's not as easy as it looks to give the Host to someone on the tongue. I imagine if a lot of people had received that way, I would have gotten better at it...as it was (in that parish anyway) it was rare.0
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The only time I've experienced hand holding during the Our Father is at the youth masses given for World Youth Day. Those who are charismatics will hold open their hands during the Our Father, with their palms facing up in our regular Sunday masses. And since the SARS epidemic (chance of contagion was real), the handshake has been largely, but not uniformly replaced by a bow towards the other person. Drinking from the common cup also stopped at that time as well. This is because the SARS virus got into a group of Charismatics in Toronto and many died. Because we are just down the road from Toronto, the Church got into a major prevention mode. Communion on the tongue (not in huge demand) was also stopped and has not resumed.
I'm not sure how communion on the tongue would be any more dangerous then communion in the hand? Isn't the host being given by the same hand? And wouldn't there be an equal chance of infection if said person was a carrier? (I know this is off topic but that struck me as odd)
The hand is dry. The tongue contains saliva, and germs can be spread through saliva. The priest would not have had SARS, but some of the communicants could have been infected, and the infection spread between them in this manner. That is why everybody was so careful--because a faith community had been directly touched.0 -
I will say that there have been days when I am alone at mass and it is nice to feel connected to others when I am praying such a powerful prayer. After all, we come to mass to pray in mass--to be one body.
I don't think you have to hold hands or shake hands, if you don't want.
It is so strange to me that other sects of Christianity hold so much resentment towards us (or their perception of us). I am not sure why they are so concerned with us.
It's not voluntary. I suppose that's my biggest issue with it. It's not actually liturgical and if you refrain you're treated like scum. (I've been glared at and given the cold shoulder because I refused to hold hands during the Our Father when I had a cold. I was truly surprised at the depth of the negativity aimed at me for such a simple thing).
And it is strange the resentment and anger that gets leveled at Catholics. I experience it all the time but I kind of have fun correcting people's misconceptions!
That is really messed up! I am sorry they treat you that way. People (not just us Catholics) are weird that way. We like things to be like us, we don't particularly like "different". Just keep going, do what you do. They shouldn't be judging you anyway--right?
Also, I do like educating people too. ;0P0 -
If you want others to NOT hold your hand, cough continuously throughout the mass and hold kleenex in each hand. That'll do the trick!
As for me, a Catholic convert (since 1991), I enjoy the hand-holding and all the other things... If I am REALLY focused during the prayer, I can literally feel the Holy Spirit racing His power up and down the arms that I am holding... now THAT's awesome!
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I like it! it makes me feel connected to others like were a big family,
also like the Peace part,we shake hands and hug and kiss the people we know.
I wish it was done earlier in the mass that way we feel more comfortable with the people around us during mass,but its ok anyways I usually have my head down and eyes closed in the important parts so I focus on the words and not looking around,0 -
My husband and I hold hands but having grown up in Indiana, living in Chicago and then moving to South Carolina I've seen it done many different ways at different parishes. We hold hands with family, one time somebody reached out and held my hand here at a parish in SC. One time in Chicago when my parents were visiting my mom put her hand out to the fellow next to her and at first I don't think he knew what to think at first then he just grabbed her hand and prayed.
I don't have any problem with either way I just don't want people to feel awkward - that they have to grab your hand or be intimidated if they don't want to. When we go back home (Indiana) it's such a small community and everybody knows everybody so they all seem to hold hands even from one pew to the next which I think is kinda neat considering there seems to be such a lack of community and fellowship or at least to me it seems that way from when I grew up.0 -
We don’t in our parish; our priest says it’s not allowed in the rubrics of the mass. We are a fairly orthodox parish.0
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It is not supposed to be done during Mass.0
