The draw to the bad boy
Jennifer2387
Posts: 957 Member
So .. I was thinking this weekend. My date has somewhat of that bad boy quality. Which .. I for some reason find incredibly annoying and appealing all at the same time. He is very "manly". When we were sitting on the couch and he grabbed my hand and put his head on my shoulder .. I literally melted. I recall for a split second thinking .. look what I did to that tough guy.
I think that is what the draw is for me .. to be the girl who turns him to mush. I don't want to change the tough guy .. because that is what the constant draw is .. but to be the thing that makes him stumble.
Just a thought I guess.
I think that is what the draw is for me .. to be the girl who turns him to mush. I don't want to change the tough guy .. because that is what the constant draw is .. but to be the thing that makes him stumble.
Just a thought I guess.
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Since when is bad synonymous with tough?0
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Can you elaborate on what his bad boy qualities were? The way he dressed, talked, hair style, street cred for being imprisoned, etc etc?0
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Since when is bad synonymous with tough?
I guess that depends on what you think of when you think tough. I am not meaning tough as in strong .. can pick weights up and put them down or can fight someone. When I say tough .. I think of.. he is not mushy, doesn't need constant contact or assurances, is all kinds of manly .. not girly.. lol.
I think when I say bad boy .. I am not meaning dating all kinds of girls and lying about it .. or staring at other girls while you are with them etc. Perhaps the topic name is wrong?
His bad boy qualities for me .. yes the way he dresses and talks .. but more of the way he carries himself. Like he is so very confident and he is respected because of his integrity and just doesn't play any games. He is not the kind of person that when I say what do you want for dinner .. he has a thought .. not .. Oh whatever you want or I dunno .. what do you want to do. The kids here love him because he tells them they are being ****s and to behave .. etc.
It is hard for me to pin point what exactly it is. It is more of an air about him. Its like how you can look at a girl and know if she is a girly girl or a girl that could help you build a house. You know?0 -
I recall for a split second thinking .. look what I did to that tough guy.
I knew it! Yesterday, I found myself in an art class painting a two-person canvas and wondering exactly how I got there. Next date is going to be an underground street fight, god dammit.0 -
Since when is bad synonymous with tough?
I guess that depends on what you think of when you think tough. I am not meaning tough as in strong .. can pick weights up and put them down or can fight someone. When I say tough .. I think of.. he is not mushy, doesn't need constant contact or assurances, is all kinds of manly .. not girly.. lol.
I think when I say bad boy .. I am not meaning dating all kinds of girls and lying about it .. or staring at other girls while you are with them etc. Perhaps the topic name is wrong?
His bad boy qualities for me .. yes the way he dresses and talks .. but more of the way he carries himself. Like he is so very confident and he is respected because of his integrity and just doesn't play any games. He is not the kind of person that when I say what do you want for dinner .. he has a thought .. not .. Oh whatever you want or I dunno .. what do you want to do. The kids here love him because he tells them they are being ****s and to behave .. etc.
It is hard for me to pin point what exactly it is. It is more of an air about him. Its like how you can look at a girl and know if she is a girly girl or a girl that could help you build a house. You know?
Sounds like a confident, strong, self assured man.
And you made him melt
That sounds great, I'm glad you're enjoying this!0 -
I recall for a split second thinking .. look what I did to that tough guy.
I knew it! Yesterday, I found myself in an art class painting a two-person canvas and wondering exactly how I got there. Next date is going to be an underground street fight, god dammit.
hahaha! NOOOOOO! That is what makes the crap you do tolerable .. lol0 -
hahaha! NOOOOOO! That is what makes the crap you do tolerable .. lol
Glad you went for it with the new guy and are enjoying yourself, by the way. Congrats!
BTW, I actually enjoyed the art class. I had to bite my tongue with the c of a teacher kept coming up and telling me I was doing it wrong, though. *****.0 -
hahaha! NOOOOOO! That is what makes the crap you do tolerable .. lol
Glad you went for it with the new guy and are enjoying yourself, by the way. Congrats!
BTW, I actually enjoyed the art class. I had to bite my tongue with the c of a teacher kept coming up and telling me I was doing it wrong, though. *****.
You can't do art wrong!! That is why it is art!!! lol And that will buy you one smitten girl .. :bigsmile:
Thank you .. :blushing: I still kinda feel like a tramp.0 -
Sounds like a confident, strong, self assured man.
And you made him melt
That sounds great, I'm glad you're enjoying this!
this made me smile big .. lol. thank you.0 -
I think girls like "bad boys" because they're confident, not because they're truly bad. "Nice guys" are not confident, they're whiny.0
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I think girls like "bad boys" because they're confident, not because they're truly bad. "Nice guys" are not confident, they're whiny.
Holy hell yes. I remember saying to my last boyfriend .. oh my god .. we aren't crying again are we?? I felt bad the minute it came out of my mouth .. but man. When he cries more than me .. it is not a good situation. I am all for men showing emotion .. but there is a line.0 -
I think girls like "bad boys" because they're confident, not because they're truly bad. "Nice guys" are not confident, they're whiny.
Holy hell yes. I remember saying to my last boyfriend .. oh my god .. we aren't crying again are we?? I felt bad the minute it came out of my mouth .. but man. When he cries more than me .. it is not a good situation. I am all for men showing emotion .. but there is a line.
No, I don't like it. I couldn't handle that at all. My first boyfriend when I was a teenager and used to cry all the time. It makes me profoundly uncomfortable. I like to have calm collected discussions if there is an issue, but if either of us is crying or yelling then we aren't at a point where we can have a rational conversation.
It's quite another thing if there's family/friend/pet hardship, obviously. You are allowed to be sad over perfectly normal sad things.0 -
I think girls like "bad boys" because they're confident, not because they're truly bad. "Nice guys" are not confident, they're whiny.
There's also the mystery and danger factor. The "unknown" element that leads to surprising situations and avoids boredom. I think the equivalent is the "psycho B" that a lot of us dudes end up with.
Both can be detrimental to our health. I fully advise women not to date me, but it is nice to get conjugal visits.It's quite another thing if there's family/friend/pet hardship, obviously. You are allowed to be sad over perfectly normal sad things.
No, we are just allowed to punch things harder, causing dust to get in our eyes. We're not crying.0 -
I think girls like "bad boys" because they're confident, not because they're truly bad. "Nice guys" are not confident, they're whiny.
There's also the mystery and danger factor. The "unknown" element that leads to surprising situations and avoids boredom. I think the equivalent is the "psycho B" that a lot of us dudes end up with.
Both can be detrimental to our health. I fully advise women not to date me, but it is nice to get conjugal visits.
I agree with the "nice guys are often whiny" idea, and actually tried explain that to a nice guy friend last night, but I struggled to be constructive vs. critical, so I shut up.
What I wonder about is this intangible "mystery/danger" piece. I think I've always dated "bad boys" to a degree, and I could never get a good handle on what the intangible parts actually were. I don't think "adventurous" or "willing to take risks" applied to all of them.0 -
Two words: Daddy Issues.0
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I think girls like "bad boys" because they're confident, not because they're truly bad. "Nice guys" are not confident, they're whiny.
There's also the mystery and danger factor. The "unknown" element that leads to surprising situations and avoids boredom. I think the equivalent is the "psycho B" that a lot of us dudes end up with.
Both can be detrimental to our health. I fully advise women not to date me, but it is nice to get conjugal visits.
I agree with the "nice guys are often whiny" idea, and actually tried explain that to a nice guy friend last night, but I struggled to be constructive vs. critical, so I shut up.
What I wonder about is this intangible "mystery/danger" piece. I think I've always dated "bad boys" to a degree, and I could never get a good handle on what the intangible parts actually were. I don't think "adventurous" or "willing to take risks" applied to all of them.
I too had a hard time defining it. But I know it when I see it ..lol. I wish that I could mesh the qualities of a nice guy with the qualities of a bad boy and make the perfect man! hahaha! The only way that I could think to describe it was the emotional piece.
The whole .. look what I did to this tough guy. With the emotional guy .. it is not as much of a happiness maker. He is emotional .. so you get no reward from it.
For example .. when I first started dating my exhusband .. the mother of his best friend told me that before our date he cleaned his car from top to bottom and she had NEVER seen him do that before for any girl or anyone for that matter. That made me feel special. The guy who cares enough to do it for every date .. doesn't make as much of an impact on me. Which it should .. because it would show that he would keep his house clean .. lol.
To me .. the emotional guy is like that little dog jumping over the big dog (who is the bad boy dog) with his mouth yapping the whole time .. lol. Which one would you want?
And no .. I don't have daddy issues ..lol0 -
It's quite another thing if there's family/friend/pet hardship, obviously. You are allowed to be sad over perfectly normal sad things.
No, we are just allowed to punch things harder, causing dust to get in our eyes. We're not crying.
I am also okay with this. Chopping onions/Jalapenos/etc is also acceptable. Hahaha
EDIT: Also, to clarify, crying in general makes me very uncomfortable, not just when men do it. I realized it came across that way in my original post so I figured I'd clear that up. I am an equal opportunity no blubbering allowed employer.0 -
Since when is bad synonymous with tough?
I guess that depends on what you think of when you think tough. I am not meaning tough as in strong .. can pick weights up and put them down or can fight someone. When I say tough .. I think of.. he is not mushy, doesn't need constant contact or assurances, is all kinds of manly .. not girly.. lol.
I think when I say bad boy .. I am not meaning dating all kinds of girls and lying about it .. or staring at other girls while you are with them etc. Perhaps the topic name is wrong?
His bad boy qualities for me .. yes the way he dresses and talks .. but more of the way he carries himself. Like he is so very confident and he is respected because of his integrity and just doesn't play any games. He is not the kind of person that when I say what do you want for dinner .. he has a thought .. not .. Oh whatever you want or I dunno .. what do you want to do. The kids here love him because he tells them they are being ****s and to behave .. etc.
It is hard for me to pin point what exactly it is. It is more of an air about him. Its like how you can look at a girl and know if she is a girly girl or a girl that could help you build a house. You know?
To me that's not a bad boy..thats just a man with confidence.
Bad boy = jerk..won't listen, uses his attitude to attract..but really just uses and walks away..no real integrety.
Nice guy= wishy washy, yes dear..what ever you want dear guy.
I'll pick your version of a "bad boy" any day because he's not really bad..he's just a man who knows what he wants and goes for it. So long as he's honest I'm game.0 -
[sounded douchey, deleted]
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[sounded douchey, deleted]
The hell is wrong with you? I think it sounded fine and I was all set to reply. Now I can't. So yeah....you're douchey!!!!0 -
[sounded douchey, deleted]
The hell is wrong with you? I think it sounded fine and I was all set to reply. Now I can't. So yeah....you're douchey!!!!
Haha, you didn't hit the "quote" button in time.
To summarize, I thought that ladies typically used this term for someone who was seen as "dangerous" due to their looks, reputation, or past. I further noted that guys who have changed their lives yet still have this lingering reputation tend to attract a subset of the female population who dig the danger but want to feel "mostly safe".0 -
I'm not so sure confidence has anything to do with being a bad boy or even girl for that matter. A lot of people I know in this category lack confidence or self-esteem which is compensated for by being a complete dog or female dog....lol.
I love a confident man....with or without tattoos, with or without a past, funny, kind, gentle...but manly as hell.0 -
wait is this about tough guys or bad boys?
tough guys are all manly and unflappable
bad boys are... bad....0 -
wait is this about tough guys or bad boys?
tough guys are all manly and unflappable
bad boys are... bad....
I think it's tough guys0 -
Bad Boys sound like *kitten*, girls always date them, then whinge about it.
Nice guys, are sometimes too whingy and push overs...
I'd like to go for a nice little mix..
I ride a motorbike does that count? ::laugh: :devil:0 -
Bad Boys sound like *kitten*, girls always date them, then whinge about it.
Nice guys, are sometimes too whingy and push overs...
I'd like to go for a nice little mix..
I ride a motorbike does that count? ::laugh: :devil:
You have a girlfriend, stop being such a tease, haha0 -
it's the confidence that borders on arrogance. whether that's an illusion or not doesnt mater because "bad boys" tend to have the balls to say eff it and do something that's either going to end badly or end well.
what about bad girls/man eaters? i rarely hear guys say they love this type. if so i'd have more he-b*tches at my door :laugh:0 -
Bad Boys sound like *kitten*, girls always date them, then whinge about it.
Nice guys, are sometimes too whingy and push overs...
I'd like to go for a nice little mix..
I ride a motorbike does that count? ::laugh: :devil:
You have a girlfriend, stop being such a tease, haha
Haha. thanks, yeah I do. She is amazing! love her so much!0 -
Bad Boys sound like *kitten*, girls always date them, then whinge about it.
Nice guys, are sometimes too whingy and push overs...
I'd like to go for a nice little mix..
I ride a motorbike does that count? ::laugh: :devil:
You have a girlfriend, stop being such a tease, haha
Haha. thanks, yeah I do. She is amazing! love her so much!
Your happiness is like salt in the wound!
:laugh:0 -
I love bad boys and tough men cause neither one of them is too scared to tell me NO. And if they arent scared to tell ME no, then they'll have no problem standing up for us/me/himself elsewhere.
Get mad at me, hate me for a minute, get aggravated with me, call me on my bullsht, tell me Im using excuses, tell me Im hiding from life, tell me Im talking the talk but not walking the walk, make me put my money where my mouth is.
Dont smile meekly and hand me a goddamn bouquet of roses and tell me how youd walk to the ends of the earth for the chance to take me out to a beautiful dinner and snuggle with me every day!
Tell me to STFU and get in the car or we'll be late for today's adventure/workout/deadlines/ or I'll mess up our plan for the day/weekend/afternoon and then when I slide into the passenger seat, cop a feel and wink at me.
is this too much to ask? Am I crazy? lmao0
