Dating profile version 2

richx83
richx83 Posts: 334 Member
Hi

I have re written the about me section of my profile and would appreciate any feedback please:

Hey there, my name is Richard but most people call me Rich.
I currently work as an IT consultant and I really enjoy the different challenges it offers me on a daily basis. The downside is I work in a small office so it does not give me much opportunity to meet new people and I spend most of the day at a desk.
I have been making some big changes in my life over the past few years, pushing myself out of my comfort zones and have been having a great time in the process. My friends would describe me as a focussed motivated nice guy with a laid back fun approach to life, although I do take things seriously when I need to.
I like a wide range of music but my favourite feel goods would have to be any power ballad from the 80's or musicals such as Hairspray.
I like to raise money for charity as much as possible usually in the form of sponsored walks and hikes. After losing my Granddad to dementia several years ago I am currently in training for the three peaks challenge in June 2013 for the charity Mind.
I have a range of different hobbies from cooking and baking to the gym and musical but most of all I like to try new things and I am currently learning to modern jive at a Ceroc class ready for the party season and my holiday at the end of the year.

Replies

  • Jarnard
    Jarnard Posts: 497 Member
    Hey Rich,

    Sounds good. I would make the first paragraph sound a little more exciting vs formal.

    For example:

    I am a motivated, fun, caring, and laid back guy who enjoys cooking, working, exercising and being active with the community.

    My opinion of course. Overall, solid profile.

    Jarnard
  • Jarnard
    Jarnard Posts: 497 Member
    ALso - Awesome work on your weight loss bro!
  • poncho33
    poncho33 Posts: 1,511
    The downside is I work in a small office so it does not give me much opportunity to meet new people and I spend most of the day at a desk.

    ^^I don't think you need to explain why you're online dating. At least it's annoying seeing it on female profiles.
    I have been making some big changes in my life over the past few years, pushing myself out of my comfort zones and have been having a great time in the process. My friends would describe me as a focussed motivated nice guy with a laid back fun approach to life, although I do take things seriously when I need to.

    ^^^ To me this could be read into as a lack of confidence. I'd stay away from the "big changes" or "I've been through a lot" and go with something like Jarnard suggested.

    Good luck man, online dating isn't easy!!
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    I agree with the suggestions above, but overall it's a nice profile. I'd also like to suggest that you write how a woman could be integrated into your life... For example, you go to the gym so you could say you're looking for someone to share health or fitness goals with. It draws the woman reading it in if that makes sense.

    Great job on the weight loss and good luck dating! :flowerforyou:
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    When you write a dating profile, think of it from the point of view of the other person. You want to appeal to women, preferably the best looking ones. So, what in your profile makes women excited about you? Are you fun? Funny? Good looking? Think about what your best features are and how you can promote those features to women with language that will evoke an emotional response.

    Easier said than done.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    Me personally.... as a woman on internet dating (before I realized I just wasn't interested in dating) I would get messages from multiple guys, then would have to read their profiles to see if I was down to conversate.

    The biggest problem I ran into is if someone was wordy and inefficient. A few people have the ability to write out something that's long but poetic genius and then I'm down. If it feels too generic it's fine, as long as it's concise. But if it's wordy, repetitive and boring I would just click to the next one.

    Again, this is my personal preference, but your profile seems to be in danger of being awfully long for not a whole lot of information. Eliminate the negative stuff. "I work in IT and it's amazing. In my free time I do x, y, z and some a, b, c. I do everything I can to make my life amazing and it'd be even better if I had someone to share that with" would catch my eye far better that four paragraphs saying essentially the same thing.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,330 Member
    - leave out the work stuff since that doesnt really tell anyone about who you are

    - talk more about the things that you like doing, especially those things that other people can do with you. keep in mind that women tend to get more emails than guys which means we're in a better position to pick and choose than guys. i know for me, one of the things i like looking at in guy's profiles are his interests and likes because it gives me an idea of what type of things he might suggest we do together

    - you can also leave out the things that are a bit vague. for instance saying that you're laid back except for when you're being serious can be said about just about anyone.


    i think you have a good start of a good profile, you just need to tweak it a bit :flowerforyou:
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
    - leave out the work stuff since that doesnt really tell anyone about who you are

    - talk more about the things that you like doing, especially those things that other people can do with you. keep in mind that women tend to get more emails than guys which means we're in a better position to pick and choose than guys. i know for me, one of the things i like looking at in guy's profiles are his interests and likes because it gives me an idea of what type of things he might suggest we do together

    - you can also leave out the things that are a bit vague. for instance saying that you're laid back except for when you're being serious can be said about just about anyone.
    Very good comments here.

    Look, I think your profile is a bit boring. It reads like a CV - as if you were preparing to a job interview.
    It's not bad, as the others have said, but I don't think it's good either in the sense that it won't make people push that dreaded contact button. Which is quite the challenge mind you.

    IMO it misses a hook, a joke on which people can contact you. Something that makes people smile and which is obvious for them to mention in their first message.


    Here are the profiles I have used over time below - which by the way doesn't really make girls push that contact me button anyway... So take my advice with a grain of salt (and I'm sure many people would find many things to change in my profile).

    Profile 1
    "It seems the current trend is to create a profile saying that you are a hard working, dedicated, fun person, etc. * YAAAAWN * Do people really fall for that? Let me know so that I can modify my profile accordingly.

    Well, I'd rather meet someone in the flesh than talk for hours on here (you can tell so much more about the person, and it just is quicker than playing ping pong on here), but I guess I've got to start somewhere, so here goes...

    I've got a lot of hobbies, but the main one is probably creating music. I've got lots of synths to help with that (this probably makes me a geek so don't hesitate to punch me in the stomach if I start digressing too much!).
    I also enjoy going to the cinema (and no, sorry but Twilight should not even be called a movie!) and listening to live music (lots of different kinds).
    I'm addicted to coffee - I can't even open my eyes in the morning without a good espresso... I know a few good coffee places in London, would be good to try them with someone! *hint hint* =)

    I'd rather meet a witty girl (do they even exist?) who understands sarcasm (this is going to end up in tears otherwise, yeah, I'm talking to you over-sensitive girl!), who doesn't take herself too seriously and whose brain is not used exclusively as compost for her hair.

    One last thing, I'm French... So I hope you don't mind the scent of Camembert propagating in the kitchen when you open the fridge door! (or the fact that I regularly have bread crumbs stuck under my armpit)."



    Profile 2
    I'm a cheater and a liar, looking for a decent lady whose money I can steal and preferably with a tender heart I can shatter into pieces and then crush with my boots.
    If I really like you I might cut you in small cubes and put you in my freezer, and serve you cooked to my next innocent date. Oh the irony (please let me know what sauce you prefer to be served with, and I'll do my best to accommodate you).

    Me, I'm a rather boring conventional man working for a boring company (a German company called Böring) in a boring job with boring people, drinking a boring coffee on boring breaks and filling a (then) boring life with boring website such as Plenty of Bore.

    If you're as bored as I am then please bore me by boringly boring the bore out of boredomeness. Boreborborborbor...
    (that's you speaking and I'm sleeping).

    Boo!


    Profile 3
    The girl scrolled down the page and started reading the profile. She had been browsing for a while already, and this one, she thought to herself a bit discouraged, seemed quite a long read.

    And then, it suddenly occurred to her that she was reading a story. A story about herself reading this profile.

    Intrigued, at first, she kept on reading. She smiled, and wondered how someone could talk about themselves in a profile, while writing about someone else at the same time – about her in fact. She also wondered how someone could keep her interested about what she was currently doing. And after all, wasn't she the best person to know precisely what she was doing, especially at this exact moment? She thought this would be quite an interesting challenge.

    She looked above and realised that she went through three paragraphs already. Not bad.

    “So, anyway” she thought “when will you tell us something about yourself?” She realised, nervously, that she almost asked a question to the profile. But the profile responded…

    “Well there are quite a few things I could tell you about myself.” The profile was talking in a calm and deep voice.
    “Oh, and just so you know, his real voice is actually not that deep.” he added with a flick of amusement in his voice. “It's just your imagination going a bit overboard here.”

    She almost thought for an instant that the profile had smiled while it was saying that. But it was just a profile…

    Or was it? Could it be there was a real person behind this profile? Of course... Of course there would have to be a real person, like her. But because she had been going through so many profiles, she had become accustomed to look mechanically at pictures and usernames, and it was often too easy to forget that there was always someone - a unique, breathing person - behind each and every profile.

    She felt slightly guilty about it.

    “Don't worry”, he said. “I think everyone is a bit guilty of the same thing on here.” He paused for a few seconds to think and then continued: “At least you're still here. So I hope you are starting to see me as a person.” He laughed.

    He carried on: “It's a bit small in here don't you think? We should probably think about going out of this 'box' at some point.”
    “But you still haven't told me much about you..." she raised her eyebrows.
    “Are you sure?” He smiled gently. “Yet I can’t help feeling I have already told much more than I should have by writing this 'story' of mine...”
    He was feeling a bit uncomfortable. It’s never easy for someone to open up to other people. And she knew it too well.

    She smiled in turn and responded: “Alright… I guess that would have to do for now then".

    She realised, a bit disappointed, that she had finished reading the profile and decided to
    [The rest of the page is completely burnt and text is undecipherable from there. This story has no ending]



    So... My conclusion of all this is that it's all in the pictures (and that online dating is bad).
  • dbrightwell1270
    dbrightwell1270 Posts: 1,732 Member
    Flim: I really liked profile 3
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,444 Member
    One last thing, I'm French... So I hope you don't mind the scent of Camembert propagating in the kitchen when you open the fridge door! (or the fact that I regularly have bread crumbs stuck under my armpit)."

    That is Ewwwwww and hilarious all at the same time!!! :noway: :laugh:

    Which one did you have the most success with?? :bigsmile:
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,857 Member
    To OP, more fun stuff!!!

    Flim, I f-ing love your brain. I would do dirty things to it... now send me another rose and make me look popular.
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
    Flim, I f-ing love your brain. I would do dirty things to it... now send me another rose and make me look popular.
    :laugh: The previous rose expired then...
    Which one did you have the most success with??
    I wasn't really actively looking with those profiles, I was more trying to get girls to message me.
    But the first one probably... I connected a week ago or so for just 5 minutes, and had one girl message me and one add me as a favorite.

    I think online dating will be working again as winter is coming. People go out less, get bored at home, aren't on holidays, etc.
    So people, to your profiles!
  • toots99
    toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
    Lose the words "laid back". 99% of guys profiles say that they're laid back. It's just a given. Of course you're laid back, would you really put on there "I'm uptight"? No. That's like when people say "I love to laugh and have fun." Well no *kitten*. You wouldn't put on there "Laughing sucks and I avoid fun at all costs."