It depends on if you are still holding out hope that she'll come around and want to get back together? Are you wanting to be friends with her because you honestly enjoy the person or are you only trying to be there so she can "see" what's she's missing? I believe that men and women can only be friends if both do not have an attraction to each other or want to be more than friends.

I think it depends on the two people involved and the situation. I have exes that I still remain in contact with and am on friendly terms with and I have exes that I would never in a million years want to deal with again. I'm not sure I can be more helpful than that.

I remained friends with all my exes. In some cases it took time. The feelings were still there, so we both needed time apart. Everyone's different.

Don't get me wrong I would get back together with her in an instant, but I know this is not what she wants and I accept this, but I don't see that just because I can't be in a relationship with her that we should sacrifice the friendship and connection we have, just because others say it can't work between exes, some having voiced this very strongly.

Are you truly wishing to be friends as it is defined or are you determined to remain part of her life so you don`t have to deal with losing her?

If it makes you overall happy to do it then go for it. If you are causing yourself unnecessary pain by seeing her go through life without you (figuratively speaking) then you should end it. Ultimately you have to care more for your own happiness than hold on to a painful hopeless romance.

You sound like you are pining, and spending time with her is putting a bandaid over a gunshot wound. I think you have a lot more healing to do before you can be serious friends with this girl. While I don't think there's something inherently wrong with wanting to get back together with an ex or being friends with an ex, there is something wrong with sacrificing your own mental well being. You can tell yourself all day, over and over again about how you accept that it's never going to happen, but at the point where you admit you would get together with her in an -instant- is the part that really proves that wrong.

I am truly wishing to be friends as it is defined.

Have already dealt with losing her, when she dates a friend of yours, it becomes pretty clear.

I am of the opinion that the 2 things can be separated. I have my feelings for her on a non-friendship level, which I can shut away and just accept they are there but not act on, and then I have my feelings of friendship towards her. We get each other, know each other well and can confide in each other, and at the same time can laugh and joke about stuff. I struggle with the concept that either of us should lose a friend because I selfishly turn round and say its a relationship or nothing.

I know at some point she will likely date someone else and I accept that, just would be easier if not a friend of mine this time!! I may well do the same although am not on the look out at the moment.

Read what kits said above...accepting and being past something are different things.
You are not past this yet,you want her back,what she does hurts and you are not even considering moving on yourself.
Before trying to cling to some relationship get healed from it and then worry about being friends.

Be careful with this....I am actually in the process of remaining friends with my ex. But the kicker is that I'm also realizing that I'm codependent.

Codependent, co = ally to, dependent = dependent on someone/thing else for a need......

Suggestion, read the book "Broken Toys, Broken Dreams" then answer if you want to remain friends.

I can say that after reading this I now know that I would not want to get back with my ex (and I really truly believe it, aka the hard part), but we make the absolute BEST friends/borderline family.

READ the book first.

Keep a distance, and keep your eyes and heart open for someone new, and understand that whomever you find for YOU, may not be tickled with the fact that she's still in your life. You will have to deal with that when it comes, you may not like thier answer either

Good Luck! PM me if you ever have any questions about this, I know how you feel about people off the bat saying no, or judging you for it. (Nobody on here, people from my world, work family etc.....)

Hmm. Well.. I am trying to be friends with my ex husband and there are times when it hurts my heart too much and I have to step back. I wonder if it is worth it during those times. There are other times where it doesn't bother me at all to see him or talk to him.

I think you just need to weight the pros and cons .. will it hurt you to see her and talk with her knowing you can't kiss her or hold her again. Or do you just need her in your life? Will it stop you from trying to date someone else?

Just my two cents...

Leaving the past behind is hard enough, and you don't want part of your past still programmed in your cell phone. Although it's easier for the dumper, recovering from a breakup is still a hard thing to do since it means being single again, getting back into the dating scene and no longer making that daily goodnight call you and your ex used to share.

But having that person lingering in your life as a constant reminder makes it even harder to move on with your life, meet new people and turn a fresh page. It's almost like keeping one foot in the past, and another struggling to make it back into the pickup scene.

It also might be a better idea to leave things with pleasant memories of the other person, rather than drag the potentially doomed relationship through the mud.

In a perfect world, the ideal would be for exes to succeed at being friends, but in one where bitterness, jealousy, passion, and human nature exceed reasoning and rational thought, it's impossible. Unless the two of you were the best of friends before, both broke up on the same terms in a perfectly mutual breakup, both have no qualms about either of you seeing new people, and have both instilled a policy of total honesty, you're better to leave the friendship behind... along with the memories.

Relationships end for all different reasons and they start for all different reasons too. No situation is exactly the same to anyone else's so I am not in the position to say ALL ex-lovers shouldn't be friends. Although, I do believe it should be deeply thought about because it could make it harder for you to move on. But then again I guess that will all depend on the intensity of the relationship you had together.

I would say, choose your friends wisely not based on what you have been through together but also where you are going. Some people are only mean't to be in our lives for a season and a reason. Once a particular season is over we sometimes need new prospectives on what's ahead rather than look back on what's behind us.

If you only loved your lover because they were your lover there is no real need for you to be friends in my opinion. But if you loved your lover because they were your friends and you truly believe they are someone you 'can't' live without then by all means see how a friendship without the loving goes. But I always wonder how do you separate love from friendship? because you usually love your friends so to an extent you will be re living your relationship from a different angle....

And if you meet someone else and they become your best friend and lover where does your ex-lover stand? you may call them a friend but your new lover may not appreciate you being close with your ex. BUT then again that all depends on how close friends you are...and if you're not that close then why would you class them as a friend? It really interests me how people have different definitions for the term friendship. But over all I would say just be wise in making those decisions and always keep your future in mind and where you want to be. Its your choice and YOUR situation. So there is no right or wrong answer. But I personally don't see the need with being friends with a past that will never make your future.

Do whatever makes you happy

When/if the situation starts to cause you distress or make you sad/upset, then I'm sure you'll reconsider.......

I never believe I should do something because somebody ELSE thinks its best!

How can anyone know that ?

I had a very strong attachment to my ex for many years, and we were friends during that whole time. But then, he got married. I accepted that it wasn't meant to be and I was still grateful to be his friend, because at the end of the day, he's one of my best friends in the world. Now I'm the God Mother to his son. This is what was meant to be and I wouldn't change it for anything.

Do what feels right for you. That's the best advice to give. But friendships can work with exes.

Avoid friendship with the ex. You go your way, she goes hers.