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Dating someone with a kid?

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Ivy_leaves
Ivy_leaves Posts: 103 Member
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Hey everyone. I just thought I would ask around and see if anyone has any opinions on dating someone that has a child?
I met this really awesome lady, and she has a one year old.
I've never dated anyone with a kid before.. And to be blunt - I am not really a kid person. I don't want any and I don't go all gaga about them.
Anyone want to share any experiences?

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  • roguestates
    roguestates Posts: 223
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    I personally don't feel comfortable around kids because I don't feel like a competent caretaker for them... but you might be different. The kid might grow on you. If it's early on in your relationship, you probably wouldn't meet the kid anyway (at least most parents don't introduce their children to new partners until they're somewhat sure it's going to be somewhat long-term) so I wouldn't worry about it.
  • jameseylefebure
    jameseylefebure Posts: 234 Member
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    hey OP -

    When I got with my partner, he was very upfront about the fact that he had a son from his previous relationship.At first it didn't register as we only saw each other on weekends and truth be told that suited me as I am *not* a kid person. At. All. After about 5 months we started to get serious and the discussion came up about his son and I was a bit apprensive, but his son still lived with his mum so it was up to her whether she minded me meeting their son. Eventually I did meet him and he was 5 years old at the time. We got on pretty well and terry and his ex arranged a day out to chester where I was just introduced as terry's "friend". We got on really well despite me not being into kids, he was a pretty cool kid. (he loved Sabrina the teenage witch so we had LOTS to talk about), as me n terry got a lot more serious and his son got older the friends who live together, but share a bedroom act became a lot more difficult to maintain and one night when he was staying over (we had bought a house together by that point and his son was about 7) I went out to get take away for tea and when I came back Terry was crying his eyes out. I was all "whats up?" turns out that his son had said pretty much as soon as I left the house
    "Dad, I know James is your boyfriend and thats ok because I really like him". So obviously the whole thing was a bit of an emotional night.

    When he turned 9, his mum developed a few mental health issues involving booze and he came to live with us. He's 16 now and is still lving with us. He buys me mothers day cards and I am pretty much the mum of our house. I still don't like kids and joke all time that he is literaly the only kid I would happily spend my time with. Looking back now though - I honestly don't know what I used to do with my time before he moved it and he's now our son, not terry's. Ours. I've helped to raise him and been there for the falls, the cuts and scrapes. Obviously me n terry set out some very strict rules for ourselves but it's really just the same as a straight relationship with a step-parent. The only difference is that when it came to public things i.e parents night, school plays, awards and the like we used to let Karl choose if he was ready for me to go. (it was always terry's job to discuss this and I always was happy to bow out if he wasn't comfortable with his two dads going.) and he's not once hid the fact that he's got two dads to anyone. He's just got a girlfriend and she was more nervous about meeting us that she was his mum as he seee's us as his parents. He has actually lived with me and his dad and has more memories of living with us that his his mum.

    I guess what I'm saying is - just take it a step at a time. this could be *the* relationship and kids come with that and you find that you adapt to it :) its worked for me and I actually got the family I never even knew I wanted :)
  • darisey
    darisey Posts: 228 Member
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    hey OP -

    When I got with my partner, he was very upfront about the fact that he had a son from his previous relationship.At first it didn't register as we only saw each other on weekends and truth be told that suited me as I am *not* a kid person. At. All. After about 5 months we started to get serious and the discussion came up about his son and I was a bit apprensive, but his son still lived with his mum so it was up to her whether she minded me meeting their son. Eventually I did meet him and he was 5 years old at the time. We got on pretty well and terry and his ex arranged a day out to chester where I was just introduced as terry's "friend". We got on really well despite me not being into kids, he was a pretty cool kid. (he loved Sabrina the teenage witch so we had LOTS to talk about), as me n terry got a lot more serious and his son got older the friends who live together, but share a bedroom act became a lot more difficult to maintain and one night when he was staying over (we had bought a house together by that point and his son was about 7) I went out to get take away for tea and when I came back Terry was crying his eyes out. I was all "whats up?" turns out that his son had said pretty much as soon as I left the house
    "Dad, I know James is your boyfriend and thats ok because I really like him". So obviously the whole thing was a bit of an emotional night.

    When he turned 9, his mum developed a few mental health issues involving booze and he came to live with us. He's 16 now and is still lving with us. He buys me mothers day cards and I am pretty much the mum of our house. I still don't like kids and joke all time that he is literaly the only kid I would happily spend my time with. Looking back now though - I honestly don't know what I used to do with my time before he moved it and he's now our son, not terry's. Ours. I've helped to raise him and been there for the falls, the cuts and scrapes. Obviously me n terry set out some very strict rules for ourselves but it's really just the same as a straight relationship with a step-parent. The only difference is that when it came to public things i.e parents night, school plays, awards and the like we used to let Karl choose if he was ready for me to go. (it was always terry's job to discuss this and I always was happy to bow out if he wasn't comfortable with his two dads going.) and he's not once hid the fact that he's got two dads to anyone. He's just got a girlfriend and she was more nervous about meeting us that she was his mum as he seee's us as his parents. He has actually lived with me and his dad and has more memories of living with us that his his mum.

    I guess what I'm saying is - just take it a step at a time. this could be *the* relationship and kids come with that and you find that you adapt to it :) its worked for me and I actually got the family I never even knew I wanted :)

    Wow! :sad: that is beautiful. Thanks for sharing your story :)

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