Things I wish someone hadn't told me!
RBXChas
Posts: 2,708 Member
In the same vein as the thread titled "Things I wish someone would have told me!" I thought I would post things that you wish people hadn't said to you, whether you've had a baby before or not.
Of course the "sleep while you still can" never gets old. Sorry, but sleep is not cumulative, at least not over the long term.
"Go on vacation while you still can." Because we all have endless funds/vacation time. Forget saving for the baby - babies are cheap!
"[Fill in acquaintance's name here] had a HORRIBLE pregnancy/delivery and almost died!" or "[So-and-so] had a stillbirth at 38 weeks!" I am really sorry for your acquaintance, but I don't need to hear this,at least not now. The first quote actually happened. At my baby shower. With in-depth detail of what went wrong leading to the friend's giving birth at 25 weeks to her son (who is now thankfully a happy, healthy 5-year-old) and then having to go into emergency surgery herself because of a previously undiagnosed disorder.
My personal favorite: "You're going to hate your dogs after you have your baby," or "You should find new homes for your dogs now because you will be sorry you ever got them." I can't tell you how many times I heard this when I was pregnant the first time. We had three dogs when my son was born (we adopted another when our son was 9 months old, and we've since had one pass away, so we're back to three). We are total dog people. We don't dress them up in silly little outfits or take them to inappropriate places, but we love them a lot. They sit on the couch with us, sleep on our bed, and get a lot of attention. Maybe other people don't get it, but we really do love our dogs with all our hearts. Our son is now nearing his second birthday, and I can say with confidence that we absolutely do not regret adopting ANY of our dogs. Not for a second. They probably do get less attention now than they used to, but once our son goes to bed, they have our undivided attention, and they still sleep on the bed with us, something our son has never done (nor has he slept *in* it, for those of you who are paying attention). In fact, I think I love them more for how they've been so good and gentle with him; although they aren't scrambling to pay attention to him, they do just fine when he pets them, and they follow him around and respond if he cries.
So take heart; if you have pets, you will not necessarily regret their existence after you have a baby.
Anyone else have any other "gems" to share?
Of course the "sleep while you still can" never gets old. Sorry, but sleep is not cumulative, at least not over the long term.
"Go on vacation while you still can." Because we all have endless funds/vacation time. Forget saving for the baby - babies are cheap!
"[Fill in acquaintance's name here] had a HORRIBLE pregnancy/delivery and almost died!" or "[So-and-so] had a stillbirth at 38 weeks!" I am really sorry for your acquaintance, but I don't need to hear this,at least not now. The first quote actually happened. At my baby shower. With in-depth detail of what went wrong leading to the friend's giving birth at 25 weeks to her son (who is now thankfully a happy, healthy 5-year-old) and then having to go into emergency surgery herself because of a previously undiagnosed disorder.
My personal favorite: "You're going to hate your dogs after you have your baby," or "You should find new homes for your dogs now because you will be sorry you ever got them." I can't tell you how many times I heard this when I was pregnant the first time. We had three dogs when my son was born (we adopted another when our son was 9 months old, and we've since had one pass away, so we're back to three). We are total dog people. We don't dress them up in silly little outfits or take them to inappropriate places, but we love them a lot. They sit on the couch with us, sleep on our bed, and get a lot of attention. Maybe other people don't get it, but we really do love our dogs with all our hearts. Our son is now nearing his second birthday, and I can say with confidence that we absolutely do not regret adopting ANY of our dogs. Not for a second. They probably do get less attention now than they used to, but once our son goes to bed, they have our undivided attention, and they still sleep on the bed with us, something our son has never done (nor has he slept *in* it, for those of you who are paying attention). In fact, I think I love them more for how they've been so good and gentle with him; although they aren't scrambling to pay attention to him, they do just fine when he pets them, and they follow him around and respond if he cries.
So take heart; if you have pets, you will not necessarily regret their existence after you have a baby.
Anyone else have any other "gems" to share?
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I HATE the dog one. I hear that so many times and I can just barely keep my mouth shut. They are my furbabies, I adopted for life.
Stories about super painful births or cesarean horror stories. No pregnant woman wants to hear a horror story.
How much your life is going to change after the baby. Well yeah, I kind of figured that before we got pregnant.
Breastfeeding horror stories. How painful it is, how hard and time consuming, how you never get a moment to yourself. Thanks, but I really do not need anyone to try and convince me why I should not breastfeed. It's a personal choice, and I'm not asking for input.0 -
Didn't have a dog before I had my son so I am not sure how it will be when my little one gets here but I love my dog and would never get rid of him he is technically my "second" child and yes I spoil him and forget that he is just a dog, but he is with us till its his time to go to doggie heaven. If for some reason I had no choice but to get rid of him my parents have already said that they want to be first in line that he is how wonderful he is.
What I hated when I was pregnant with my son is when everyone would talk about the epidural. How horrible and painful it was and how it could paralyze you if administered wrong. If I had to hear that one more time I was going to scream in fact it made such an impact that when it came time for me to have one I freaked the doctor out and he dropped the tray because I was so freaked out and I had to wait till he got another one. Needless to say it wasn't that bad and yes I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Also I know how big I am getting I do not need you to remind me or tell me everytime you see me. I do have mirrors at home and I can tell. Even though I have only gained 7lbs that doesn't stop the baby from growing.
This one is from my wonderful husband who kept his mouth shut during my first pregnancy just recently told me that I have way more stretch marks from this pregnancy than I did with the first one but on the bright side I should be happy because they aren't purple they are skin colored so they shouldn't be permanent. WTH really!!!!! He must really want to be punched. Not sure if he thought he was being helpful or that sinc we have almost been married for 13 years that he no longer needs a filter.0 -
I HATE the dog one. I hear that so many times and I can just barely keep my mouth shut. They are my furbabies, I adopted for life.
Stories about super painful births or cesarean horror stories. No pregnant woman wants to hear a horror story.
How much your life is going to change after the baby. Well yeah, I kind of figured that before we got pregnant.
Breastfeeding horror stories. How painful it is, how hard and time consuming, how you never get a moment to yourself. Thanks, but I really do not need anyone to try and convince me why I should not breastfeed. It's a personal choice, and I'm not asking for input.
Most people who really know me knew to ask how the dogs were adjusting, which was a nice thing to ask, but there were a select few who couldn't wait to hear that I hated them. They never had the pleasure.
Don't get me wrong; breastfeeding is hard, but it's not impossible. Even though I had a tough time with it, it wasn't a complete failure, and it was due to a lack of knowledge and/or my own ignorance that prevented me from being able to succeed at it. This time I know better, and hopefully things will fall in line. If not, I know that's ok, too. I would have much rather been able to breastfeed and pump 100% than pay out the butt for formula, especially with a baby who ate inordinate amounts.
Let me put it this way: my mother, who is the mothering martyr of the century, admitted to me that she did enjoy breastfeeding all four of us, even though it wasn't the cool thing to do in those days.
I wish no one had told me that I was a terrible person for being open to having an epidural, especially when they admitted to having had one themselves ("But things were different then."). Yes, I had one, and yes, I'd do it again! You don't want to have one? Good for you!0 -
This one is from my wonderful husband who kept his mouth shut during my first pregnancy just recently told me that I have way more stretch marks from this pregnancy than I did with the first one but on the bright side I should be happy because they aren't purple they are skin colored so they shouldn't be permanent. WTH really!!!!! He must really want to be punched. Not sure if he thought he was being helpful or that sinc we have almost been married for 13 years that he no longer needs a filter.
He probably thinks he's paying you a compliment. Honestly, I bet he does! My husband has those moments from time to time, and I just have to laugh and politely point out that what he said is really a backhanded compliment.
Last time I was pregnant, one of my co-workers would give the office a daily report on how "preggo" I looked (which was extra grating because I hate the word "preggo"). I dreaded that every day.0 -
I hated when people would tell me who soon they got there kids to sleep through the night. I want to scream I don't care!! Not to mention it made me feel like a falure when my kids were not sleeping through the night as early as some. BTW- I found out they let there baby scream for hours at a time to get them to sleep. which just makes me angry.
I also hated people telling me that if my husband watched the birth he would not want to have sex with me again. REALLY we are on baby number #3. sex is not an problem. Please do not bring your issues into my life.
I still do not like when my stay at home mom friends.-which is all my friends- would tell me I could never work full time and take care of the boys. Well some of us HAVE to. and we manage. Stop telling me it can not be done.0 -
We have 2 dogs a pitbull and a retriever mix- our fur babies (in my picture) we love them to death!!!! And we aren't worried one bit when our little gal gets here that there will be a problem. I know we will have to make sure they get attention ect ect but they are good dogs
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I still do not like when my stay at home mom friends.-which is all my friends- would tell me I could never work full time and take care of the boys. Well some of us HAVE to. and we manage. Stop telling me it can not be done.
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I cannot stand when the ones who stay home look down on people who have to work. I have a SIL like that she tells me how she will never let other people raise her children which is essentially what I am doing when I take my kids to day care. How I should not have had children if I couldn't stay home to take care of them. Makes me want to punch her in the face she is on #3 and fails to let anyone know that she lives in a home owned by her parents she has no rent or mortgage which is most of ours biggest expense. I don't work because I like it I do so my kids can have what they need and want. So we can have a summer vacation. Unfortunately not everyone is lucky enough to stay home good for you but don't judge me. I am a product of a working mother and I think I turned out just fine0 -
I still do not like when my stay at home mom friends.-which is all my friends- would tell me I could never work full time and take care of the boys. Well some of us HAVE to. and we manage. Stop telling me it can not be done.
I cannot stand when the ones who stay home look down on people who have to work. I have a SIL like that she tells me how she will never let other people raise her children which is essentially what I am doing when I take my kids to day care. How I should not have had children if I couldn't stay home to take care of them. Makes me want to punch her in the face she is on #3 and fails to let anyone know that she lives in a home owned by her parents she has no rent or mortgage which is most of ours biggest expense. I don't work because I like it I do so my kids can have what they need and want. So we can have a summer vacation. Unfortunately not everyone is lucky enough to stay home good for you but don't judge me. I am a product of a working mother and I think I turned out just fine
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I am staying at home, and I'm a little conflicted about it. I was an English teacher up until this year. I didn't particularly like my job (loved my students, but not the way the NYC school system was run). My husband significantly out-earns me, and we calculated that the cost of a nanny (even daycare) would be essentially all of my paycheck--meaning that I would be working just to pay for someone else to take care of my son. Since I wasn't terribly fulfilled by my career, it didn't seem worth it.
That said, where I live, very few mothers stay home, and a lot of my friends have said, "Oh, I would be so bored if I had to stay home." I worry about whether I will be completely fulfilled as a SAHM. I worry about balancing being a mom with having outside interests, and an eventual desire to go back to work (if not going back to what I was doing before).
I figure I'll work it out, and am hoping that between now and when my kiddo is in school full- (or even part-) time, I'll figure it out.
I wouldn't get too annoyed with the SAHMs if I were you. Maybe a lot of it is just a need to validate their choice.0 -
Hilarious post! Few things people have said have bothered me but people love to tell their stories and I'm open to listening! We have yet to hear anything negative about our furbabies and having a baby! I live in a very small town in TX and everyone here has kids and animals I guess that's why lol
It does get discouraging when all you hear are negative stories about breastfeeding, I could do without that!
And I'm sorry your SAHM! riends are judgemental :-( most of my friends stay home (all of them have kiddos) and I've been a stay at home wife since I got married 2 1/2 yrs ago bc it just makes more since for us. Being that we do live in a small town my commute to work was just not worth it. I feel very fortunate to be able to stay home when my son gets here and realize that some cannot and some just don't want to lol but I never judge!
Jenny, I hope you enjoy it and can find friends who also stay home to hang out with!0 -
I just hate all the unsolicited diet advice I get now. Random people at the grocery store now feel the need to critique what I'm eating.0
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I hated when people would tell me who soon they got there kids to sleep through the night. I want to scream I don't care!! Not to mention it made me feel like a falure when my kids were not sleeping through the night as early as some. BTW- I found out they let there baby scream for hours at a time to get them to sleep. which just makes me angry.
I also hated people telling me that if my husband watched the birth he would not want to have sex with me again. REALLY we are on baby number #3. sex is not an problem. Please do not bring your issues into my life.
I still do not like when my stay at home mom friends.-which is all my friends- would tell me I could never work full time and take care of the boys. Well some of us HAVE to. and we manage. Stop telling me it can not be done.
Every kid is different, and it has nothing to do with the parents! I lucked out with a good sleeper, but I am absolutely not counting on that this time.
My husband didn't want to watch the birth, but then again, neither did I. If your husband wants to and/or you do, that's your thing. Everything heals, and even the least "pretty" vaginas (whatever that means) are quite functional.
I have been a SAHM, a WAHM, and a work-outside-the-home mom, all with the same child. I've seen all aspects of it, and they all present their own challenges. We all love our kids, but you just have to do what works for your family.
Your post made me think of one line that I've heard said to others that I love: "You know what causes this, right?" Which implies that your pregnancy was a mistake and/or that you're stupid, or that you shouldn't be having a child/more children. I think people who've had IVF can have a lot of fun answering that one.0 -
We have 2 dogs a pitbull and a retriever mix- our fur babies (in my picture) we love them to death!!!! And we aren't worried one bit when our little gal gets here that there will be a problem. I know we will have to make sure they get attention ect ect but they are good dogs
In those first few weeks when I was exhausted and miserable (I beat myself up about not being awesome at breastfeeding), I felt incredibly lonely, and my dogs were my savior. They were up with me at night and kept me company. Even though they're not people, it still felt nice to know that I wasn't the only one up with the baby!0 -
I still do not like when my stay at home mom friends.-which is all my friends- would tell me I could never work full time and take care of the boys. Well some of us HAVE to. and we manage. Stop telling me it can not be done.I cannot stand when the ones who stay home look down on people who have to work. I have a SIL like that she tells me how she will never let other people raise her children which is essentially what I am doing when I take my kids to day care. How I should not have had children if I couldn't stay home to take care of them. Makes me want to punch her in the face she is on #3 and fails to let anyone know that she lives in a home owned by her parents she has no rent or mortgage which is most of ours biggest expense. I don't work because I like it I do so my kids can have what they need and want. So we can have a summer vacation. Unfortunately not everyone is lucky enough to stay home good for you but don't judge me. I am a product of a working mother and I think I turned out just fine
Dude, if I didn't have a mortgage to pay, lots of things would be different!!!0 -
I am staying at home, and I'm a little conflicted about it. I was an English teacher up until this year. I didn't particularly like my job (loved my students, but not the way the NYC school system was run). My husband significantly out-earns me, and we calculated that the cost of a nanny (even daycare) would be essentially all of my paycheck--meaning that I would be working just to pay for someone else to take care of my son. Since I wasn't terribly fulfilled by my career, it didn't seem worth it.
That said, where I live, very few mothers stay home, and a lot of my friends have said, "Oh, I would be so bored if I had to stay home." I worry about whether I will be completely fulfilled as a SAHM. I worry about balancing being a mom with having outside interests, and an eventual desire to go back to work (if not going back to what I was doing before).
I figure I'll work it out, and am hoping that between now and when my kiddo is in school full- (or even part-) time, I'll figure it out.
I wouldn't get too annoyed with the SAHMs if I were you. Maybe a lot of it is just a need to validate their choice.
You're right - you'll figure it out. I am an attorney, and even when I was working from home, my dad used to give me a ton of crap about wasting all my education that he so kindly paid for (well, he didn't pay for law school, but you get the idea). He thinks I should have kept my old job (where I was completely miserable and totally unappreciated) that would have barely covered the cost of day care. We calculated that some months we may even be in the red if I kept working there! How does that even make sense, nevermind the psychological factor of being nearly in tears every Sunday night because I had to face my job again on Monday morning?
Admittedly the repetition and loneliness of staying at home got to me, but I did enjoy a lot of the freedom that came along with it. I think a lot of it depends on how much interaction you have with other people and/or how often you get out of the house. Since money was so tight, I didn't get out much at all. If we were in the financial position we are in now, I'd be going out with my son almost every day, since we now have memberships to a bunch of museums and state parks and such. That's how we spend our weekends now so we don't get cabin fever, but it would have made all the difference if I'd had those when I was home with our son.0 -
Hilarious post! Few things people have said have bothered me but people love to tell their stories and I'm open to listening! We have yet to hear anything negative about our furbabies and having a baby! I live in a very small town in TX and everyone here has kids and animals I guess that's why lol
It does get discouraging when all you hear are negative stories about breastfeeding, I could do without that!
And I'm sorry your SAHM! riends are judgemental :-( most of my friends stay home (all of them have kiddos) and I've been a stay at home wife since I got married 2 1/2 yrs ago bc it just makes more since for us. Being that we do live in a small town my commute to work was just not worth it. I feel very fortunate to be able to stay home when my son gets here and realize that some cannot and some just don't want to lol but I never judge!
Jenny, I hope you enjoy it and can find friends who also stay home to hang out with!
I just hate that if you stay at home (either as a mom or not), that you must be wasting your life/totally bored/too stupid to work. Sometimes working doesn't make sense, so why put yourself through having an awful workday just to say you have a job?0 -
I just hate all the unsolicited diet advice I get now. Random people at the grocery store now feel the need to critique what I'm eating.
Wow, really? It's nobody's business what you buy at the supermarket. Who knows that it's even for you? Sometimes I am buying for a party, which means there are going to be lots of desserts. That doesn't mean I'm sitting in a corner with a pie and a fork, keeping it all to myself!
I was at the supermarket once buying Earth's Best organic baby food. I try to buy organic for my son where I can, but sometimes the cost is too much - in this instance it was on sale, so I was stocking up. The lady behind me in line commended me on buying organic for my son. Ok, fine, whatever, thanks, lady. Then she asked what kind of water I use to make my child's formula. Now I should have just told her that he was breastfed to shut her up, but sometimes my nice but honest brain takes over, I told her that I use filtered water from my fridge. She asked if it had fluoride filtered out of it and then went on this tirade about how the government puts fluoride into our water (totally true) and that it's really, really bad for our bodies (totally not true). Even the cashier had this WTF look on her face. I just smiled and nodded and told her that my father, who's been a pediatrician for almost 40 years (totally true), told me that the way I am doing things is just fine for my son. I then paid for my groceries and left. This was at Publix, where they are awesome and help you load your groceries, and the guy helping me load up my car told me that he couldn't believe that lady went on a tirade like that and that he wouldn't have been as kind to her as I was.
I regularly joke that I have a sign on my head, which is visible to all but me, that says, "Tell me your story." People love to talk to me in public, usually about inappropriate topics, like about their son who's in jail, their medical problems, or apparently their theories on what's really best for our health despite what the government says/does. So maybe she saw me as a sympathetic ear, who knows.0 -
Mine is more specific - I wish every woman in my office would stop asking negative leading questions. For instance, they'll start off kindly with "how are you feeling?" and then quickly move on to "does your back hurt yet? are you sleeping like crap yet? are your feet swollen yet? OH YOU JUST WAIT!" It's frustrating because as a FTM, I'm doing my best to stay positive and to enjoy this pregnancy. Not every symptom has been wonderful, but it's been great overall so far. I don't need people trying to predict my future in a negative fashion.
Also, the lady that sits next to me likes to tell me over and over about her birth story, which included severe pre-eclampsia and near death during childbirth due to seizures. She had her son at 30 weeks and likes to remind me of that since I'm 29 weeks now. "Better get ready - your baby could be here any day now!"
Side note: the men in my office have been strangely wonderful. I think they're used to playing the encouraging role with their wives when they were pregnant, because they usually say "how are you feeling? not too much longer - you're doing great and it will all be worth it!" It's really nice in comparison to the crazy women with badge of honor terrible birth stories!!0 -
I just got this one from my dentist yesterday and from other random strangers. Oh it's going to be a lot harder w 3 because you only have 2 hands. . You're crazy. your so young. blah blah. Even from my close friends they love to say OMG I can't believe ur having your 3rd. yet they have 2 already themselves. ughhhh Yes I'm young I want to have my kids in my 20's. Yes I know it will be hard but it will get easier.. I've had 2 hands for my entire life. im aware of that. And yup am going to have one more child.. Ahhhh seriously. what's it to u people how many kids I have and how old I will be when I have them or how far apart they will be. OH and on my way out she tells me her kids were 20 months apart and her son hated his sister and grabbed her face when she was a newborn. and they are 9 and 10 now and still hate each other. OK>> ur point??? my son is over protective over his little sister now. and loves her and never hurt her when she was a newborn and doesn't hurt her now. I'm sure he will just be fine with his new little sister. and so will my daughter.0
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Mine is more specific - I wish every woman in my office would stop asking negative leading questions. For instance, they'll start off kindly with "how are you feeling?" and then quickly move on to "does your back hurt yet? are you sleeping like crap yet? are your feet swollen yet? OH YOU JUST WAIT!" It's frustrating because as a FTM, I'm doing my best to stay positive and to enjoy this pregnancy. Not every symptom has been wonderful, but it's been great overall so far. I don't need people trying to predict my future in a negative fashion.
Also, the lady that sits next to me likes to tell me over and over about her birth story, which included severe pre-eclampsia and near death during childbirth due to seizures. She had her son at 30 weeks and likes to remind me of that since I'm 29 weeks now. "Better get ready - your baby could be here any day now!"
Side note: the men in my office have been strangely wonderful. I think they're used to playing the encouraging role with their wives when they were pregnant, because they usually say "how are you feeling? not too much longer - you're doing great and it will all be worth it!" It's really nice in comparison to the crazy women with badge of honor terrible birth stories!!
Last time I was pregnant, I found my male co-workers to be really, really awesome and supportive. A lot of them had young children, some with babies, so they thought the whole thing was neat to see from an outsider's perspective.
My MIL has started in on the "bad" symptoms. "Are you feeling nauseous yet?" Yes, that's mostly done, thanks. "Do you have to get up to pee in the middle of the night yet?" Dude, I'm 11 weeks, lay off me!0 -
I just got this one from my dentist yesterday and from other random strangers. Oh it's going to be a lot harder w 3 because you only have 2 hands. . You're crazy. your so young. blah blah. Even from my close friends they love to say OMG I can't believe ur having your 3rd. yet they have 2 already themselves. ughhhh Yes I'm young I want to have my kids in my 20's. Yes I know it will be hard but it will get easier.. I've had 2 hands for my entire life. im aware of that. And yup am going to have one more child.. Ahhhh seriously. what's it to u people how many kids I have and how old I will be when I have them or how far apart they will be. OH and on my way out she tells me her kids were 20 months apart and her son hated his sister and grabbed her face when she was a newborn. and they are 9 and 10 now and still hate each other. OK>> ur point??? my son is over protective over his little sister now. and loves her and never hurt her when she was a newborn and doesn't hurt her now. I'm sure he will just be fine with his new little sister. and so will my daughter.
We all hated each other at that age. My sister and I are two years apart, almost to the day, but we were only a year apart in school (I skipped a grade). So we were basically at each other's throats, and then when we were teenagers we became really close. Relationships change as they get older.
Then again, my oldest brother, who's 10 years older than I am, beat the crap out of the rest of us pretty much for our entire childhoods, so having a big age gap does not mean that the younger children are immune from physical altercations between siblings.
Anyway, you will have three children. You are hardly the first woman in the world to have three children! I wish I had had my children younger, but I didn't get married until I was 26, and we wanted to wait a couple of years, then the economy tanked. Some people are not mature enough to be parents (or good parents) in their 20s, too, but some people are and want to have them young so that they are still young when they are empty nesters. Everyone is different, and everyone does things for different reasons, all of which are totally valid. I wish people would shut their mouths!0 -
Hilarious post! Few things people have said have bothered me but people love to tell their stories and I'm open to listening! We have yet to hear anything negative about our furbabies and having a baby! I live in a very small town in TX and everyone here has kids and animals I guess that's why lol
It does get discouraging when all you hear are negative stories about breastfeeding, I could do without that!
And I'm sorry your SAHM! riends are judgemental :-( most of my friends stay home (all of them have kiddos) and I've been a stay at home wife since I got married 2 1/2 yrs ago bc it just makes more since for us. Being that we do live in a small town my commute to work was just not worth it. I feel very fortunate to be able to stay home when my son gets here and realize that some cannot and some just don't want to lol but I never judge!
Jenny, I hope you enjoy it and can find friends who also stay home to hang out with!
I just hate that if you stay at home (either as a mom or not), that you must be wasting your life/totally bored/too stupid to work. Sometimes working doesn't make sense, so why put yourself through having an awful workday just to say you have a job?
Please do not get me wrong. I would love to stay home with my boys and just be a mom. Our life, which yes we set up this way, does not allow that right now. i am very greatful that my mom is able to keep the boys and they have so much fun with her. I do not think if you stay home you do nothing. My mom took a vaction just lat month and I stayed home with my boys and thought going to work in an office every day is a break. A 2 yr old and 8 month old wore me out!!!0 -
Hilarious post! Few things people have said have bothered me but people love to tell their stories and I'm open to listening! We have yet to hear anything negative about our furbabies and having a baby! I live in a very small town in TX and everyone here has kids and animals I guess that's why lol
It does get discouraging when all you hear are negative stories about breastfeeding, I could do without that!
And I'm sorry your SAHM! riends are judgemental :-( most of my friends stay home (all of them have kiddos) and I've been a stay at home wife since I got married 2 1/2 yrs ago bc it just makes more since for us. Being that we do live in a small town my commute to work was just not worth it. I feel very fortunate to be able to stay home when my son gets here and realize that some cannot and some just don't want to lol but I never judge!
Jenny, I hope you enjoy it and can find friends who also stay home to hang out with!
I just hate that if you stay at home (either as a mom or not), that you must be wasting your life/totally bored/too stupid to work. Sometimes working doesn't make sense, so why put yourself through having an awful workday just to say you have a job?
Please do not get me wrong. I would love to stay home with my boys and just be a mom. Our life, which yes we set up this way, does not allow that right now. i am very greatful that my mom is able to keep the boys and they have so much fun with her. I do not think if you stay home you do nothing. My mom took a vaction just lat month and I stayed home with my boys and thought going to work in an office every day is a break. A 2 yr old and 8 month old wore me out!!!
I actually look forward to work days and going into the office now (and being an adult for several hours), and then I look forward to spending time with my son when I pick him up and take him home. When I was home with him, he wore me out, and I don't think I appreciated my time with him as much.0 -
I have a maternal/infant nurse who stops by like once a month to check up on my pregnancy. Last visit she was talking about kick counts, and then launched into a story about her daughter-in-law who noticed a decrease in kicks, got it checked out, turns out it was fetal distress and had to have an emergency c-section. Then the baby had a clot, got a blood transfusion, ended up with hepatitis, was given antibiotics, and ended up ****ing deaf in both ears.
I'm like "Really?! You think it's appropriate to tell me this?"
And then! To make it all so much more horrible, she couldn't find my baby's heartbeat for 10 minutes. And even when she claimed she had found it, it wasn't measurable.
And THEN! My baby stopped moving for 3 days.
All kinds of hell broke loose in my mind.
And then when I finally broke down and told my midwife about all of it, my son started moving around like a maniac. -_-0 -
my MIL really doesn't agree to the fact that I work, and that I hope to work again once this little fella is here. My little girl is absolutely thriving in nursery (kindergarden) and I love my work and the challenges it brings. I believe I have a very good work life balance and a strong relationship with my daughter and my husband. Being a working mum can work and yes I too hate everyone telling me it doesn't!
I also hate hearing how a person loved being pregnant and felt wonderful through it! I have felt like crap through both my pregnancies, piled on the weight and have often struggled to keep a smile on my face! And life some of you have already mentioned I do not need to hear how big I am getting!!
I also decorate cakes and bake as a hobby And I'm getting a little sick of people telling me I won't have time to do this with a second child... yes I am aware that I may not have time initially, but this is my passion, I get my daughter involved and we have A lot of fun. I believe I will not let this passion die as it is my release, my stress reliever and what I relax to... so just because other people may not be able to fit it in, doesn't mean I can't!0 -
I said earlier that when I was a SAHM/WAHM, my dad gave me crap about wasting my law degree, etc. Well, this week I got the opposite from him. He asked me what my son gets out of his preschool other than getting sick. I reminded him that it allowed me to work full-time and actually practice law, you know, like my law degree and bar licenses allow me to do.
Seriously, I can't win with him.
Then he went on a tirade about whether I was sorry I didn't go to med school (he's a doctor, and one of my brothers is as well). I told him that if I'd decided to go to med school, I'd still be in school and would not have a life. He replied that it would be ok because I would know that in a few years I'd be making lots of money, but I reminded him that having lots of money is pointless if you have no one to share it with.
He let it go at that point.
I'm sure if I had done that, I'd probably be given crap if I weren't married and/or having children yet.0 -
I also hate the judgement with what I'm eating/drinking. I'm only 6 weeks with this pregnancy but last time around I got it from everyone. I was drinking my one coffee of the day at a farmer's market and an old man came up to me and started lecturing me on drinking caffeine while pregnant. I had the lady behind the counter at starbucks tell me I should get decaf one day. I had a lecture from a male co-worker because I was eating a cheeseburger for lunch even though I had bad morning sickness and cheeseburgers where one of the few things I could keep down for a month. I had my friends mother look at me in horror when I was 32 weeks and tell me I was WAY TOO HUGE for only 32 weeks, they should really check again for twins. On my due date I had an appointment at the hospital and a random lady in the elevator asked me what my due date and when I told her it was that day she scrunched up her face and said "you know, babies are a lot of work."
And this time around, I told my sister I was pregnant with my second and the first words out of her mouth were "wow, it's going to be hard with 2 so young"
oh, and I had numerous people tell me we were going to have to get rid of our cat when the baby came. He kept his distance when my daughter was young and now the chase each other around the house and play peek a boo.
So really, I hate the unsolicited advice strangers feel the need to give me.0 -
"You should have another one soon!"
Got that from the lady who did my pedicure a couple of days ago.0 -
"You should have another one soon!"
Got that from the lady who did my pedicure a couple of days ago.
Haha! Was she Irish? (I'm totally allowed to say that since I am.)0 -
"You should have another one soon!"
Got that from the lady who did my pedicure a couple of days ago.
Haha! Was she Irish? (I'm totally allowed to say that since I am.)
Also, speaking of my procreating birthright, I have been talking about having another one soon for basically as long as I've been pregnant with this one. Although, I am also strongly considering adoption...I don't know if that beaks with the Irish stereotype...0 -
I never hated my animals after either of my girls. I did almost die in labor with my first, but did it stop me from having a 2nd and now being pregnant with a 3rd? No way! You have to remember there are more healthy pregnancies and labor/deliveries than these horror stories.0
