4.You will never experience fatigue like the first six weeks home with a new baby!

you said that right!! (the other stuff too but that one is true for everyone)

"Everyone will have advice, even I can dish it out (if you ask for it of course), but at the end of the day every baby is different and what works for one might not work for yours. Some babies have difficult personalities and some babies are "angel" babies...Does that mean that you are a bad parent if you have a difficult/higher maintenance baby than that oh so lucky mom of the angel baby? NO! Just means that you will have to do what is best for you and your baby and whatever works I say DO IT!"

This quote is fantastic.

I have a friend who recently had a baby and emails me unsolicited advice constantly and my baby isn't even here yet. I just want to shake her and scream. I know it is going to be hard but I also know that my baby will be different from her baby. If I have a question to ask her then I will. Period. End. Of. Story. :flowerforyou:

I just had to resurrect this thread as it seems useful...especially to those of us who are not too far away...

Yeah, this is awesome!

I second grabbing everything from the hospital that's not nailed down. (Ok, not really, but I recommend the mesh panties, the pads (even the best Kotex from Walgreens aren't as good), the gauze pads, Vaseline, squirt bottles, diapers, formula (even if you end up giving that to someone else).) I literally cleaned out the bassinet and the bathroom.

Also, be sure to ask for a formula company "gift bag" from the hospital. It's free. Each of the three major formula brands (Gerber Good Start, Enfamil, and Similac) has one. I got Good Start because I knew I would likely use that if we ended up using formula, but at worst you can give the formula away to someone who needs it and keep the bag. My Gerber bag is awesome!

If you are using formula, ask your pediatrician for formula samples (they give you the small cans) and/or coupons. They get them for free, and that is what they are there for. Sometimes if they don't have the particular brand you need, ask if you can come back at a later time when they get them back "in stock." That's about $12 saved per can, and our pediatrician used to give me two!

Definitely do not have sex until you are cleared to do so. Not only is your cervix not healed, but your vagina is actually a different shape. It's more cup-shaped than tunnel-like, which sounds weird but explains why you bleed when you stand up and move around more than when you are seated/lying down.

Don't feel rushed into having sex again, either. It's going to be weird. We had sex once in early pregnancy the first time, and then not again until 4 months postpartum. I just wasn't feeling it, and all I had to do was tell my husband I was sorry about that. He was fine. Your guy will live. Men have (probably) gone through longer dry spells in their adult lives.

You will get your boobs back, at least back to yourself and your partner, sexually speaking (they may not look the same, though, sorry). I felt like mentally I could never make the switch back to their being sexual playthings after "belonging" to my baby, but it eventually happened, although not immediately upon resuming sex. It probably took another six months after that point (so 10 months postpartum) before I let my husband play with them again, and then it was just like old times (Note that I stopped nursing/pumping at three months postpartum.) On that note, if you are into having your boobs played with, you will be able to make that mental separation when your baby nurses, so it will totally not be sexual. I promise.

Cluster-feeding: your baby will have moments where, if you are breastfeeding, they will be eating constantly. I kid you not, there will be days when s/he will spend hours on end feeding with little to no breaks. These are supposedly in line with growth spurts, and they are supposed to come at certain expected times. (I forget what they are, especially since my son was doing this even before we left the hospital.) The lactation consultant I saw said that she tells moms that they simply have to cancel whatever they're doing that day, make sure you have good TV or reading lined up, and plan on spending the day on the couch or in bed. And you won't know if until those days actually arrive, either. If you're already able to get breastmilk pumped into bottles, you can let someone else take over for the length of time that bottle lasts to give you, your body, and your boobs a break.

If your baby is screaming, and you feel like you can't take it and are by yourself with him/her, it's perfectly OK to leave the room (as long as s/he is somewhere safe) and go somewhere and close the door for a minute or two. Cry, scream, sit in silence, whatever - it will help retain your sanity. Then breathe, go back in, and handle things.

I will probably get flamed for this last one...

The BIG thing I wish someone had told me (someone did when I was first home and crying and miserable and feeling guilty about breastfeeding) was that you may not be "in love" with your baby right away. Most women are, or at least say they are, but some are not. My son and I didn't have this instant connection that everyone says you are supposed to have. Don't get me wrong; I didn't hate him or want to hurt him or anything like that, and I thought he was adorable, but for the most part he was this needy little being who cluster-fed and cried and pooped and didn't ever sleep, ever (really, ever). Babies that young can't express their personalities, so they can't really endear themselves to you the same way a 6-month-old can. It took a couple of weeks, but after the dust settled I was able to focus on how awesome my son was and how much I really loved him. It's like it took a bit of time for my "mommy gene/instinct/whatever" to kick in. It doesn't make you any less of a mother or a good person or anything if you feel this way. Today I adore my son like nothing else in the world, and I don't beat myself up about not feeling like he was the greatest thing since sliced bread the second he was born. I think things will be different this time around now that I know how much love there will be, but if my frustration and exhaustion seems to exceed the love and adoration in the beginning, I know it will reverse soon enough!

Also, I really wish someone had told me to sleep while I still could. I'm so sorry I never heard that one before I had my son

Remembered another one...I've mentioned this before on previous posts...but I think it worth saying again. If you are nursing most likely you will have raw nipples. "Soothies" were lifesavers and bring them with you to the hospital! When you shower put on the Lanolin cream before getting into the shower. The water from the shower will feel like razor blades on your tender nipples and the ointment helps protect them from the water (aka water razorblades! lol). Trust me...learned this lesson the hard way!

^^ This!! Soothies are the worlds best invention. I wish I had known about them for my first baby. Definitely get some for yourself (they last about 2 days) but ask for them while still in the hospital--my hospital gave them to while I was still there after delivering my second, which is how I learned about their awesomeness....!

Another one - take those mesh panties from the hospital home with you, and ask for more on the way out. :laugh: They came in so handy those first few days home from the hospital when I was recovering from a c-section.

Not only the mesh panties, but the pads with the cold-pack inside it. Those things are amazing!! My hospital only gave me enough for during my stay, but I asked for more before leaving and got a good supply. They are a must for post-vag delivery!!

Didn't see this mentioned anywhere else and it is a little TMI, but something I really wish someone would have told me before delivering my first baby is that when you get to pushing, you really need to pretend like you're pushing a poop out. Right before you're ready to push you may feel like you have to poop. I did with both my boys, and could feel it even with an epidural. With my first I thought I really did have to use the bathroom so I called the nurse to see what I should do (since I couldn't get out of bed with an epidural in). I told her that I thought I needed to make a bm, and she laughed and told me that was the baby. Yet, it would have been helpful to know that to deliver the baby I needed to push like pushing out a bm. With my first I pushed for 2 1/2 hours because I had NO idea what I was supposed to be doing. I finally figured it out right at the end. With my second I pushed for 12 minutes and out he came. And yes, you may or may not actually push some actual poop out too.

The best advice when it comes to babies is what was mentioned above--DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU! Consider what others tell you and give things a try, but if you find something that works, DO IT (as long as its safe for you and baby). Once I figured this out I was so much happier and confident as a mother. Example--With both my first and second son, at night I slept on our sectional couch in the corner, sitting up with my legs extended, holding baby supported on a boppy, for the first 6-8 weeks. Baby would sleep longer (5-6 hours) and therefore I could get the rest I needed. We had no problems transitioning either one to the crib and for the most part they continued to sleep 5-6 hours and then longer. I'm not saying that everyone should do this but just wanted to give an example of something I decided was best for me and my family, and I'm happy that I didn't listen to advice against it.

Good luck all!!

YES, pushing is just like pooping. With my son, my first push was only "eh," then they told me to push like I was pooping, and two pushes later, my son was born! It's so much easier when you think of it that way.

That's awesome about the sofa/Boppy thing. I slept on the sectional with my son downstairs for the first couple of weeks (he was in a bassinet - we are self-employed, so if my husband didn't work, there was no money, so I wanted him to get some normal sleep), and we transitioned to the crib just fine. I didn't know until after it was too late that the Boppy was so good for things other than breastfeeding, but now I know! I will have to try that, since I'm sure I'll spend a couple of weeks on the couch again!