Telling everyone

How did your family and friends take the news when you told them you were atheist? That you weren't a Christian? Did you lose friends? Ws there a lot of drama?

Replies

  • CollegiateGrief
    CollegiateGrief Posts: 552 Member
    I have not actually talked about it with my dad, but I'm sure he sees my posts/relgious views on Facebook. My mom isn't on FB, and I haven't told her. Mostly because I think it would break her heart, she is such an earnest believer, and so kind. I don't feel the need to make her worry, or give her a reason to question her own faith when it makes her so happy.

    With friends, my two closest friends are both open minded. One sort of took the same journey at the same time, though we don't talk about it much. The other is a casual believer, but definitely prefers my views now over when I was uber religious. I had one friend who was just surprised, and sad because we used to go to the same bible study. But she hasn't brought it up again since I told her. Two other friends are still very deeply religious and involved in the church I used to go to. The only time I ever talk to them is when they try to invite me back to church functions. They are a married couple and were ****ty friends anyway, outside of their religious views, so I don't much care to try being friends with them now regardless.
  • thektturner
    thektturner Posts: 228 Member
    I don't think there was ever really a specific "coming out" type confrontation. My mom and I were the last to keep attending church and she went more for the social aspect (I went more to see my grandma and to go out to breakfast afterward, plus I liked the singing).

    So, when I was 12 or 13 I just stopped going. I guess my family are all pretty much agnostics and atheists, so it wasn't a big deal. I only have a couple of real religious friends, only 2 retained from childhood. One is very open minded (a "good christian" I like to call him). The other still goes to church every Sunday with her husband and kids and she has tried to "plant the seed" to convert me. I make it very clear it isn't going to happen and that I'm sorry she feels I will be eternally damned for it, but as I don't believe in that sort of thing, the fear angle doesn't work with me either. I'm not defensive or mean about it, just flat and honest.

    Coworkers on the other hand... wow. I've been screamed at and threatened with the death of a child I don't even have - that's how badly they want me to believe. Just makes me sad for them, really. Like "yup, you're such a good person. I want to be just like you."
  • chemalurgy
    chemalurgy Posts: 48 Member
    My son actually told me first, which was shocking. He was always a very devout Christian, so I never expected it. The way he put it was "think about it realistically and look at the facts". I hadn't told my kids that I was an athiest. He just figured it out on his own.
  • MarinaPacheco
    MarinaPacheco Posts: 95 Member
    I was brought up going to Catholic church every Sunday and Sunday school before that, but I would never say I was brought up Catholic because religion was never mentioned at home and we had no religious symbols around the house. So when I turned 18, after quite a few years of mulling it over, I came out and told my parents I wasn't religious. Neither of them acted surprised or upset. Then when my father and I were alone he told me he wasn't religious either. I was stunned and demanded to know why he'd never said anything and made us all go to church even though I'd never liked it. And he said he did it for my mom, because she is a believer and it was no skin off his nose to go to church and it meant so much to her, even though she knew he wasn't a believer. Now we're a bit more open in the house about our lack of belief and my Mom never says anything.

    I tend to keep my lack of belief to myself in the wider world, but have noticed that most of the people I come across and work with in the UK are openly non-believers which is quite nice. It makes me feel like my beliefs are in the majority. That was never the case in South Africa where I grew up. I also have a strongly religious friend (she was a missionary for a while) who knows I'm an atheist and we still get on really well and even discuss religion occasionally, but we both know we'll never convince each other of our opposing views.
  • rachaldenise
    rachaldenise Posts: 7 Member
    I "came out" on facebook so most of my family has chosen to ignore it.....or just be passive aggressive by saying they'll "pray for me" lol
  • chemalurgy
    chemalurgy Posts: 48 Member
    I sure with that there was a LIKE button on MyFitnessPal. You all have some wonderful things to say. :smile:
  • beautyredefined
    beautyredefined Posts: 1 Member
    I would never "come out" to my family. Coming out as a vegan to my second-generation butcher father was awkward enough. My parents are semi open-minded but religion is something my father wouldn't budge on. He was brought up by my very Catholic, but oddly very tolerant, grandparents and attended Catholic school kindergarten through college. When I was 12 my friends wanted to have seances in the woods because we wanted to see ghosts. It never happened, but my parents grounded me for trying to join a cult. LOL Basically I don't want to hear others rant about their beliefs, so they shouldn't have to listen to mine.
  • BenchPressingCats
    BenchPressingCats Posts: 1,826 Member
    I still haven't told my family. I think I'll call my mom one day and tell her something like "I'm being evicted from my apartment" or "I just got hit by a car" and when she's freaking out about that, I'll just interrupt with "Oh, I meant to tell you that I'm agnostic... While I'm at it, I should throw in that I'm also Liberal. BYE!" Sounds like a good plan to me.