Hello Lovely Ladies, and Sisters in Christ:

How appropriate that I, who have NOT been keeping up with the group,
who have NOT been faithful in reading His WORD, start at THIS chapter!

Being/Staying POSITIVE!!:noway:

As I read the book, I was writing down my thought's, and comment's, circling key phrases, all that-with a red pen. Now, as I look back, it looks like I need a MEDIC!! There are so many"ME", "Yup's", and circles, it is almost too hard to read..almost.

The entire first page (excluding the last paragraph), was written as it came directly out of my head and heart.
I am that person. In my life, I have found it to be easier not to expect anything good, than to hope for it, pray about it, and expect it, and it NEVER happen.

I am honestly so tired of turning my cheek, I wear a neck brace.

A good example of this is my birthday in late August. My husband..ah..my husband cannot seem to get it right, so he has stopped trying. I have told him many times: I DO NOT LIKE FUNNY CARDS from YOU. I want lovey-dovey, mushy ones from HIM. Especially given the fact he is totally devoid of complements and romance. And he had just told one of our friends that we ONLY celebrate Thanksgiving , New Years, and our BIRTHDAY'S..so I was STOKED. YEP, THIS year, he would get it right..and maybe even a present that was for ME to use, not tools he told me were mine, and then disappear into the garage. (Yes, I like my own tools.)

Birthday Day is HERE!!:bigsmile: Hmmm..He is not here..Ahh, yes, he works today..Ok..where is it? Where is it? WHERE IS IT????

Oh, there is my card:bigsmile: , on the counter in the kitchen..by the used coffee pot-I don't drink coffee..but hey, he lovingly placed it where I would find it!:bigsmile: ..I open it..And yes, a lovey-dovey, mushy card! WaHoot!!:drinker: He did it! I look further, (no present there), and when I don't find it..I think..OK, he is a last minute shopper..he will bring it home. (Me, turning cheek..)

I wait at the door like a puppy. He walks in, lays down his thermos, (no present), his lunch luggage (yes, it's a huge lunch container..opens it..(By now I am drooling like Pavlov's dog)..and pulls out dirty containers for me to wash for tomorrow..and, sadly NO present.:noway:

So, I wait..we eat..I wait..Finally I just ask him. He says something to the effect of "Oh, I didn't know you wanted one." Huh?
What would EVER give him that idea?
I am sad.
The sadder I get, the more the devil sneaks in..:devil:
And the SAD turns to MAD.
So, to make a super long story short, I have been asking him for the last 2+ month's to buy me a present. Now, I should NOT have to do this.
It's not like we had an agreement to give up present's or anything.
But, I HAD PLAN'S..my plan was..My birthday is special (apparently only to me), and I should be treated special.
To this day..no birthday present.
His birthday is Nov 23. Have I bought him a present?
No.
I have bought him 5 presents.
And he knows all about them,
with the exception of 1.

Let's get back to the Chapter. My lesson here was, BE HAPPY. HUH? My life is one big disappointment after another.

"Positive minds produce positive lives. Negative minds produce negative lives. Positive thoughts are always full of faith and hope. Negative thoughts are always full of fear and doubt."

I WAS POSITIVE-FULL OF HOPE-but it still turned out NEGATIVE. WTHeck? As you can plainly see, this is a real sore spot with me. We don't celebrate Easter, Valentine's Day, Halloween, or Christmas. So, I kinda depend on the few Holidays we DO celebrate to be special. Am very disappointed. Will write him a letter tonight. Talking/hinting/laying catalogs on his chair(open to THAT page) clearly is not working.

In Romans 12:16, the Apostle Paul tells us to readily ADJUST ourselves to people and things.
To me, that sounds like: "Make a Plan B, a back up plan."
Maybe it is my Army training, or Nursing instinct. I dunno.:ohwell:
"Adjust withOUT groaning, fussing and complaining." (A concept totally foreign to me):grumble

Now, I see where this is going..especially when she was giving the example of her slacks being wrinkled. (I did not know sweatpant's got wrinkled?)-lol..I only wear skirts, so what do I know?

What she was getting at was: I have a CHOICE!! A choice to be a whinny baby-or a CHOICE to RISE ABOVE, and try to enjoy the situation anyway. To make the best of things.
People have been telling me that ALL my life.
Seriously..super pessimist here.

The real issue for me is my EMOTIONS RULE MY WORLD.

And, I see every comment as a personal attack.
"Hey Nicolette, you are not THAT fat!"
Me: HUH? Well, you are still THAT rude!
"Nic, your hair looks nice like that!"
Me: So, you're saying the way I HAVE been wearing it looks bad? Please clarify.

It is true what she wrote: ..anytime we don' get what we want, our FEELINGS will rise up and try (DO) get ME into a self-pity and negative mood.
So, I have a choice.
Father, I do not know how to tolerate and keep turning my cheek. Please, enter into my heart (That blackened, charred thing, that is barely pumping blood anymore), and make it anew. When I was "saved and baptized" I came out of immersion of that water(your blood) CLEAN and NEW. Somehow, I have managed to drag my bad habit's with me. Father..I do desire you. I am humbled at what you have done in my life. When I ask you to bring LOVE, genuine LOVE into my life, I was talking about you mending, opening Jon's heart. Instead, you brought me what I NEEDED-woman friends..women who I am free to LOVE. Who accept me as I am, and want to bring me closer to you. Women who are not turning away from the hard stuff-like all I am expressing..they will tell me what is what, they will help me see WHY I should turn my check 70x7. Jesus, you know I live on emotion's. We both know, that that is not the smartest, wisest thing. I know that I have made some very bad decisions with my heart-this marriage to Jon again-perhaps. My emotions-ERRRR, but it is too late to do anything about that now.
I am a NEGATIVE person. I, with your BLESSING, want to change that.
Father, I trust, that where I am in my life THIS SECOND, is where you want me to be. I TRUST your words that clearly say "All things work together and are for GOOD to those who LOVE GOD, and are called according to your design and purpose." I STAND on your PROMISE to me LORD. I claim VICTORY in this working of CHOICE..to turn the cheek, again and again, if it PLEASES YOU. I want to shed that "Heaviness" I was talking to Jenni today about-not knowing that it was even in this chapter! See! What a mighty God you are. I want to be an inspiration to those less fortunate than I. I want to be fun to be around, and KNOWLEDGEABLE about your WORD, so that I lead others to you. Jesus, you were our living example...I would have loved to walk with you..to see you..But again, you placed me in the perfect place at the perfect time. I have asked the Holy Spirit to convict me every time I turn to negativity instead of turning the other cheek. As with most of our lesson's, I know this one, for me, will be especially hard. But, I will LEAN ON YOU LORD. I want to be happy with what I have, even with Jon, instead of trying to change him into what I want. Geeze, we have been together 20+ years Lord, you'd think I knew this by now (Hope springs eternal!!):laugh:
I want a "READY MIND" Lord! I do not want a man made "Plan B". I seek a mind that is open for your will, whatever that may be.
Lord, I am a survivor. You know, I believe that Satan can hear our spoken words. How many times did I say out loud"I will not be able to live if Star, Mom Etc. dies?" "I will DIE if for some reason Natalie and the kids were taken from me."

Jesus..Yes, I said all that, and you know-ALL OF THAT HAS HAPPENED-and I am still ALIVE, with FAITH in you, with my total TRUST in you. You have been so Gracious to me Lord. I praise and worship you in ALL Situations..grief, sorrow, joy, abundance! ALL of it!
I am facing facts, learning to have a ready mind, and trying to be positive. Soon, I will have balance. I know this will not solve everything, but it will enable me to look at it thru God like eyes. To not be ruled by my emotions anymore./ To keep trusting you are working all to the good for me. TO GUARD MY TONGUE. Ahh..that is the hardest. Having a positive mind and mouth need to link together. Somethings..somethings, should just NOT be said. Help me to THINK with GRACE, to ask myself "Is this, what I am about to say, will it GLORIFY GOD?" If not, capture it, bind it.
Whatever happens..I will trust in YOU Jesus!
In Jesus name-Jesus, Amen

But as I read The Battlefield of the Mind I saw clearly what this chapter had for me. An ‘even if’ clause. You see I can be a positive person in many situations, but not in others. God wants us to trust Him wholly! Not our own cheerful personalities or intellect or support system. If you can be positive only AS LONG AS the bills are paid, or you have a job, or your husband doesn’t leave, then you need to work on being positive in this same area God is showing me.

To be positive, I have to acknowledge that I need to ask God for the faith to be positive ‘even if’.

The battle is not to laugh over spilt milk, it is to rejoice over spilt blood. I am not even armored up enough to smile over spilt tears! :huh: :noway: Aha! I see the scheme and I know God is trustworthy ‘even if’.

DonnaLynn,

I looooooved what you said about asking God for the faith to positive. I know the bible clearly says, ask and you shall receive. As I was reading this chapter, what came to me was, I wonder what God thinks is positive?" The answer came loud and clear for me. God wants me to think as He does, to see as He does. In order to do that I have to be filled with Him. To as you said, "trust Him fully." I can only trust what I know.....if I want to trust God, I must know Him. For me, positive thoughts don't cut it.....I need to think about what His word says about me and about what my situation. Jesus is the word made flesh. When He reveals His word to me, it Him manifesting in me. Where He is, there power. It is really hard to be negative minded when Jesus is manifest in your life.

When the doctor told me that my baby had no heart beat and they needed to do another ultra sound on more sophisticated machine, but that wouldn't be available for two more days, positive thinking wasn't helpful. What helped me, was knowing in the very core of my being that no matter what happened that God's plan for me was for good. So only good could come out of that situation. The warfare for my peace was intense. I had to content with my thoughts of "what if." Every time, my thoughts presented the negative death scenario, I would counter with what I know God's word said. God brought me through those two days and miraculously they found my baby's heart beat. His word anchored my soul, giving me victory over my emotions. His word helped me to trust, when the report was negative. I love how you pointed out the difference between trusting as "long as" and "even if." That is a wonderful point and one that makes me stop and ask God to help me with this. You wrote that God wants us to trust Him....all times and in all things, through all things.

So, I am asking Him to show me how to have His mindset and to walk that out in my life. To help me trust Him. To show me how to trust Him. To build that trust in my heart. I am taking the time now, before the battle to build those areas of trust in Him, by filling my heart and using my mind to continuously meditate on what He says. To learn what His blood really means.

Wonderful word, my friend, Thank you so much for sharing it. It was just what I needed to hear.

My Dearest Nicolette,

Truly you have touched my heart with you words. There was so much that I wanted to quote from your sharing. I decided to do it one by one. I love your heart. I see your struggle and I see your victory. There were so many things you wrote that I so identified with. I totally, know what it is like to have hope and be disappointed in that hope. We are learning how to hope in God. It is not something we are born with. It is something He has to teach us.

You wrote: "I have a CHOICE!! A choice to be a whinny baby-or a CHOICE to RISE ABOVE, and try to enjoy the situation anyway. To make the best of things." I am learning this in my life. It is very hard! I find myself saying "But God......" Them is fighting words for me. Meaning I am fighting to choose my way of thinking about the situation. My hope was God would rescue me from ND and the whole situation that brought me here. As I am here, I am learning that He did, just not the way I wanted. He is rescuing me from stagnation and non growth. As I let Him help me make the best of this time, I am learning and growing so much. You sharing this is so right on. In fact, I was feeling so jealous over my sister and sister in law spending so much time together. I can't be with them because I am here. :sad: Then I read this scripture:

Gal 5:

16 But I say, walk and live [habitually] in the [Holy] Spirit [responsive to and controlled and guided by the Spirit]; then you will certainly not gratify the cravings and desires of the flesh (of human nature without God).

17 For the desires of the flesh are opposed to the [Holy] Spirit, and the [desires of the] Spirit are opposed to the flesh
(godless human nature); for these are antagonistic to each other [continually withstanding and in conflict with each other], so that you are not free but are prevented from doing what you desire to do.

18 But if you are guided (led) by the [Holy] Spirit, you are not subject to the Law.

19 Now the doings (practices) of the flesh are clear (obvious): they are immorality, impurity, indecency,

20 Idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger (ill temper), selfishness, divisions (dissensions), party spirit (factions, sects with peculiar opinions, heresies),

21 Envy, drunkenness, carousing, and the like. I warn you beforehand, just as I did previously, that those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Galatians 6:4-9

Amplified Bible (AMP)

4 But let every person carefully scrutinize and examine and test his own conduct and his own work. He can then have the personal satisfaction and joy of doing something commendable [in itself alone] without [resorting to] boastful comparison with his neighbor.

5 For every person will have to bear (be equal to understanding and calmly receive) his own [little] load [of oppressive faults].

6 Let him who receives instruction in the Word [of God] share all good things with his teacher [contributing to his support].

7 Do not be deceived and deluded and misled; God will not allow Himself to be sneered at (scorned, disdained, or mocked by mere pretensions or professions, or by His precepts being set aside.) [He inevitably deludes himself who attempts to delude God.] For whatever a man sows, that and that only is what he will reap.

8 For he who sows to his own flesh (lower nature, sensuality) will from the flesh reap decay and ruin and destruction, but he who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.

9 And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.

Wow! In focusing on what I was missing and not getting, I was allowing my flesh(my emotions) to rule me. Jesus paid the price for me to live and move by the Spirit and yet in this moment I was allowing my flesh to lead. I know because jealousy is clearly listed as a work of the flesh. Furthermore, the more time I gave to the jealous thoughts, the more opposed I became to the Holy Spirit. Oh how my heart aches over the lost time with my sisters. Each time they tell me how they went somewhere and did something I feel that jealousy rise up. It has become my cue, to confess my heart to the Lord and to remind myself that God's plan for me is for good. to remind myself that I no longer have to live my life ruled by my flesh and that my time here, has God's goodness all over it. I ask Him to help me recognize it. I want to stop reaping destruction and ruin of my peace and joy in obeying my God. Your words, your honesty really helped me put this in perspective. I choose Jesus in this moment instead of indulging myself in jealousy.

I also loved how you asked to"think with Grace." That is a profound request. His grace is sufficient for me....so if I am thinking based upon His grace, then all my thoughts will lead to His sufficiency.

You wrote that having a positive mind and mouth are always linked together. I have been trying to listen to what is coming out of my mouth. It is a sure indicator to the state of my mind. I love what Joyce wrote "Positive thoughts are always full of faith and hope. Negative thoughts are always full of fear and doubt." What am I full of? I can tell what I am full of, by what is coming out of my mouth. Faith and hope are fruits of the Holy Spirit. Fear and doubt are evidence of another spirit entirely.

Your honesty has touched my life. Made me think and is helping me transform into the image of Christ. Your trials are valuable and far reaching. Thank you for sharing.

Hello My Loves,

So today I was seeking the Lord about being positive. What does that look like? I began to think about Jesus and I began to wonder about His mindset.

Here is what I know:


1 Peter 2:21-24

Amplified Bible (AMP)

21 For even to this were you called [it is inseparable from your vocation]. For Christ also suffered for you, leaving you [His personal] example, so that you should follow in His footsteps.

22 He was guilty of no sin, neither was deceit (guile) ever found on His lips.

23 When He was reviled and insulted, He did not revile or offer insult in return; [when] He was abused and suffered, He made no threats [of vengeance]; but he trusted [Himself and everything] to Him Who judges fairly.

24 He personally bore our sins in His [own] body on the tree [as on an altar and offered Himself on it], that we might die (cease to exist) to sin and live to righteousness. By His wounds you have been healed.

He gave up everything to come to earth to be rejected and reviled, spit on and lie about. Disrespected, talked about, laughed at, scorned at. He lived His earth life among a people who were stubborn and hard hearted, foolish and prideful, critical and judgmental. How did He keep the right mindset? This scripture says, He trusted Himself and everything to Him Who judges fairly. WOW! I understand that Jesus allowed God to be His ultimate Source. Jesus who was God in His own right, trusted God to provide, and care for Him. This is the Christlikeness that I want manifest in me.

Here are some other scriptures I found:

Hebrews 12:2 (AMP)

2 Looking away [from all that will distract] to Jesus, Who is the Leader and the Source of our faith [giving the first incentive for our belief] and is also its Finisher [bringing it to maturity and perfection]. He, for the joy [of obtaining the prize] that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising and ignoring the shame, and is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Jesus had a vision, a prize that enable Him to endure. There was such joy in that prize that He deemed it worth every insult, every violation, every rejection and rebuff. It was a God given one, something God asked Him to do specifically. When God asks me to do something.....like live in Minot, Nd, I can do it because He asks me. I can maintain joy here because I know that as I obey, He blesses me. My hope is not in my ability to remain joyful here, or my skill to cultivate joy but rather in Him. I know His plan for me is for good. So, here I am in a place I don't want to be, but I do delight in being because He is in this moment and because I know that I know He has called me here. When God tells me something, I know that it will come to pass. So did Jesus. God said to Jesus, go and die for my people and I will not let you see corruption but raise you from the dead. What a place of faith. Jesus had to trust God and His word. In my own life, often God asks me to die to my opinions, my rights, my agenda. To allow those things to be crucified that HE might resurrect me in His life. How hard I find it to participate in crucifixion. It is never fun, and never easy.

Hebrews 5:7-10 (AMP)

7 In the days of His flesh [Jesus] offered up definite, special petitions [for that which He not only wanted but needed] and supplications with strong crying and tears to Him Who was [always] able to save Him [out] from death, and He was heard because of His reverence toward God [His godly fear, His piety, in that He shrank from the horrors of separation from the bright presence of the Father].

8 Although He was a Son, He learned [active, special] obedience through what He suffered

9 And, [His completed experience] making Him perfectly [equipped], He became the Author and Source of eternal salvation to all those who give heed and obey Him,

10 Being designated and recognized and saluted by God as High Priest after the order (with the rank) of Melchizedek.

I love this picture of Jesus. See, it is my understanding that Jesus was both God and man. Scripture states in Hebrews 4:15, "For we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning." He faced the same temptations I do. He faced doubting God, He faced fear but He did not do them. He overcame. How? That is my prayer. Lord teach me how to be like this Jesus. What kind of mindset enable Him to do this? I can imagine Jesus here in this scripture battling the same thoughts that come to tear us from our Father's plan. What else would Jesus be asking God for? What would provoke strong crying and tears? Someone looks at me funny and I am crushed. Here Jesus was denied by each of His disciples. Years of pouring into to them and they all ran away. He was rejected by all that He came to save. Take about a mental battle. Not once, did he say, "That's it! I've had it! I deserve to stand up and use my power. I don't have to take this anymore! They have called me one too many names!" Here is what Jesus said,

Luke 22:41-42 (AMP)

41 And He withdrew from them about a stone’s throw and knelt down and prayed,

42 Saying, Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but [always] Yours be done.

Jesus always, always, always put the will of God first. The Son of God had to learn obedience through suffering! How much more will I have to also learn the same things? Obedience is not something I am born with. It is something I have to learn. Furthermore it is learned through suffering. I am suffering as I learn to obey God with my thoughts. However, the suffering is not to be compared with the prize....peace and victory.

So to recap this:

Jesus is my perfect example. He had a mindset that caused Him to overcome.

His situation was so overwhelming and crushing and still He overcame. He did so by "offering prayers and petitions up to God for not only what He needed but what He wanted." Jesus did this because He trusted God as His absolute Source. This is how I need to deal with my life, continually bringing what I am feeling and thinking to Him and asking and asking and asking and then listening and obeying. Just as Jesus did.

He struggled with temptation and overcame. If He did it, I can because His word tells me so in John 14:12 " I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, if anyone steadfastly believes in Me, he will himself be able to do the things that I do; and he will do even greater things than these, because I go to the Father."

Jesus overcame temptation by focusing on God's word. I too, will overcome temptation the same way.

Jesus cultivated a heart that wanted to do only the will of His father. Oh how I want this.

Jesus allowed himself to suffer as He choose to do things God's way. He did this because the momentary suffering could not compare with the prize that God has set before Him. Jesus was willing to pay the price. Philippians 2:8, "And after He had appeared in human form, He abased and humbled Himself [still further] and carried His obedience to the extreme of death, even the death of the cross!"

I want to be willing to pay the price. That price is humbling myself...which means to me, to think according to what God's word says about me and the situation. That kind of thinking often has me forgiving, and overlooking, reaching out, when I really want to run away. All forms of death to my flesh. But oh so life bringing to my spirit. This is the cost of a"positive mind set" for me. It is one He is teaching me and helping me to grow in.

Jesus wants me to learn of Him. He will teach me and He will teach you. He will help us have His mind. He has given us His Holy Spirit. This is His heart toward us:

1 Corinthians 2:16(AMP)

16 For who has known or understood the mind (the counsels and purposes) of the Lord so as to guide and instruct Him and give Him knowledge? But we have the mind of Christ (the Messiah) and do hold the thoughts (feelings and purposes) of His heart.

I have been meaning to write something here for days and never seem to get the time! You have all encouraged me so much though with your openness and honesty, so here goes for my contribution.

I have to say this week has been really powerful for me. I too was of the opinion that it would be an "easy" read - the usual see the glass as half full instead of half empty sort of thing. In fact it wasn't! Two things really hit home to me:

1) "We must become the kind of person who plans things but who doesn't fall apart if that plan doesn't work out." WOW! I so want to be that kind of person! I fall apart when someone asks if we can have bananas after dinner and I have planned to serve fresh pineapple! (Yes, a silly example but I am embarrassed to admit it has happened!) Sometimes the change of plans are more serious, and I have also learnt that lesson too over recent months, but I so loved her reminder that each time this happens we have a CHOICE. Oh Lord, help me to make the RIGHT choice each time!

2) The second thing that hit home was when she told us that we still have to face reality - don't deny what is happening - but remain positive in that situation. I am still struggling with this one if I am perfectly honest. Most of you know my current situation. Life in Mali is far from certain right now. My emotions tend to swing enormously from one end of the spectrum (complete panic and negativity - it will all go horribly wrong; we will need to evacuate again soon or worse, will have to leave and not be able to return) to the other which says (correctly) God has it all under control and (incorrectly) this isn't as bad as it seems - We will just carry on with life as though nothing has changed. I had thought that that latter swing was the most "Christian", until I read this chapter. Then I realised that I am really just like that ostrich that buries its head in the sand. I am ignoring the reality of the situation, therefore not even planning / thinking about getting things in order so that if we DID have to leave ministries etc wouldn't fall apart without our physical presence here. I don't even have a case of basic things packed any more (something our mission and the embassy says we should have done). SO I am now weighing up how to face the truth of the situation without falling into complete panic and negativity! Not quite got that 100% worked out yet! I loved the part where Joyce Meyer talked about "evil forebodings" - yep, those are there in my mind! That vague threat of having to leave again like we did in April and May. I need to NOT deny all that, but trust God in ALL situations.

So that is where I am at right now. Prayers appreciated!

Love, Ali

Girls I really need your prayers today. I am seriously struggling to put this chapter into practice. I feel like I am drowning in emotions. Trying to deal with all I mentioned in my post yesterday; husband away for 4 days; family in UK not helping to take away my anxiety (they are closely following news online and the media never paints a very positive picture of things!); and then to top it all I stepped on the scales this morning and have gained 1.3 lbs! No loss in 4 weeks now (in fact now a gain) and I have been working out like never before and being good with food. Feel totally frustrated! I know the devil wants to discourage me and I need to fight against that, but right now I am needing your prayers as in myself I just want to curl up in a ball and go back to bed!

Ali:flowerforyou:

I told Jenni that your post the other day really weighed on my heart. And, it is so true. Sis, I will pray my heart out for you- I do not want you to feel like a failure. You are NOT failing. I have gained 7.8 pounds back in one week. Ice cream is why. Bingeing on ice cream is why. I AM failing.
So, you, doing it all right..keeping exercising, eating right, are NOT failing, you are at a plateau, that is all. Your body is just adjusting to the weight loss it has already lost. Don't lose hope-as long as the sun rises, we have hope. It is God's gift to us.

Sister..I cannot tell you what an inspiration you are to me. I feel so blessed to live in a country that allows me to OPENLY go into my front yard, hold my arm's in the air and sing LOUDLY, (albeit badly,) to JESUS, without ANY retribution, harm, or fear of my life.
I do not live in fear, walking on egg-shells, as YOU DO, wondering if I will be able to live freely in my own country, or will I have to FLEE, as you do.

Sister, as BRAVE as I want to be, and work in Missions, I am afraid I would not be able to physically or mentally take the stress. YES-With GOD, ALL things are possible, and if it is meant to be it will happen.

I am attempting to earn my RN license back-although I am not allowed to work-the VA and SSD would cut me off, and actually, I am not physically able to work; my goal is to work on a Mission ship-help in some small way, give inoculations, give nutritional advice, something to give BACK to the world, which has been so good to me.

I go to the pool, with millions(?) of gallons of clean water-where there are people who have to drink water that is so unclean, it sickens them. I DO NOT take this for granted. Especially when I know that children as young as my grandson, Xander, 6, will struggle to carry a 5 gallon water container miles..and it is not even CLEAN water.

When I try to figure out WHY God has delivered me from THESE types of environments, and placed me to be born in the USA, by parents who gave me everything; I feel ashamed. But, I know that we all have our own crosses to carry, and if I dwell on this question too much, I just get depressed.

So, Sister Ali, I will keep praying for you and your wonderful family ..please don't beat up on yourself..I am doing enough of that for the both of us.

May God bless you abundantly!
Sis Nicolette

Sorry for the double post Ladies-maybe the Lord wanted you to read it twice-lol!

Love, love LOVE you!
Nic