PCOS & TTC

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Struggling Today

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Ajnyvt09
Ajnyvt09 Posts: 22 Member
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Today has been one of those days that's been a struggle dealing with PCOS and TTC. Some days just tend to be better than others. There are days when I have hope and know that it will all be ok, and then there are days when the tears come with no warning and I'm just in a funk; today was one of those days. I was doing great all day, and then this afternoon I was sitting at my desk at work and the tears just came. I start thinking about how I thought I would have two, if not three, kids at this point in my life, and instead I don't have any and am not sure that I ever will. Nothing happened today that would cause these feelings, they are just here. Even on the good days, it's always in the back of my mind wondering what God's plan is for us. If we will be blessed with children or not. Then there are these days when it's hard to imagine it ever happening.

I get frustrated with myself when I get like this, because there is so much that I have to be thankful for. I have a great man in my life, wonderful family and friends, a great job, and more. I know there are so many in this world who struggle and deal with much worse things than I do. I have a large support system, but when I get like this it's hard for me to reach out. I feel they may be tired of my ups and downs with this roller coaster and can't relate at times not having had to deal with infertility.

Does anyone else struggle like this? The PCOS support on MFP is a huge help for me. Thank you all for being here.

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  • aegarvey
    aegarvey Posts: 25 Member
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    Sorry to hear you're having a rough day. I know it sucks :( I'm in same boat, figured we'd have a couple of kids by now and not sure if it'll ever happen. We tried for a year before I realized I wasn't ovulating. Sometimes it helps to have a bit of a down day, for me at least. Get a lot of the sadness out so that I can feel fresh the next day. It's hard to keep the spirits up all the time. It seems like everyone I know is popping out babies without even trying, and it gets exhausting being happy for them. And sometimes it just helps to know that other people are going through the same thing. Not that I'd wish it on anyone, it's just comforting that someone can relate. I hope it gets better for you, tomorrow is a new day!
  • Ajnyvt09
    Ajnyvt09 Posts: 22 Member
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    Thank you. Today is a much better day! :-) I completely agree; It's not that you would wish it on anyone, it's just nice knowing that others out there can relate to what dealing with this is like. Hope you have a good day!
  • morgycg
    morgycg Posts: 38 Member
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    I had one of those days on Monday, after getting my BFN and being told I may have a low number of eggs for my age. I let myself be upset all day, and then yesterday was a lot better. It's hard because my friends and family don't know I'm TTC, so the only person I can talk with about it is my husband. I also had 2 close friends give birth last week so it has been an especially hard time.

    Like you, I also feel guilty for being upset since I know how fortunate I am compared to so many other people. I also have a loving family, a wonderful husband, and a good education/career. It helps me understand how some of my single friends must feel who really want to get married but haven't met the right person yet, when they see their friends getting engaged or already in happy marriages. It helps to remind myself of these things, but also not beat myself up when I am feeling down about infertility. I think it's healthy to wallow once in awhile.

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