Its public record right?
farmers_daughter
Posts: 1,632 Member
Im an idiot and I know better. But.....
Online dating... had a mutual match so he messaged me I said hi...he seemed nice. asked for a couple interests and then said hed like to finish the conversation... asked if i wanted to text. I hesitated a bit but thought eh....pretty harmless right?
K. so his last name is his user name and he gave me his first name.
I gave him my number which I flippin know better... I will not change it thats not an option.
So back to my point. I did a public record search and just about **** myself. Two pages of traffic violations simple assualt tresspassing a couple divorces unpaid fines etc....
Two pages so probably 25+ records.
Im not perfect but damn I wanna say wow too much **** oh yeah I forgot an OWI DWI and open container..... but anyway... I plan to ask him if thats him. Would you be ok with that and could u really carry on a friendship with the intent of a possible relationship? Would you even question him on it?
Idk... I just couldnt get over two pages.... ugh....just my luck.
Online dating... had a mutual match so he messaged me I said hi...he seemed nice. asked for a couple interests and then said hed like to finish the conversation... asked if i wanted to text. I hesitated a bit but thought eh....pretty harmless right?
K. so his last name is his user name and he gave me his first name.
I gave him my number which I flippin know better... I will not change it thats not an option.
So back to my point. I did a public record search and just about **** myself. Two pages of traffic violations simple assualt tresspassing a couple divorces unpaid fines etc....
Two pages so probably 25+ records.
Im not perfect but damn I wanna say wow too much **** oh yeah I forgot an OWI DWI and open container..... but anyway... I plan to ask him if thats him. Would you be ok with that and could u really carry on a friendship with the intent of a possible relationship? Would you even question him on it?
Idk... I just couldnt get over two pages.... ugh....just my luck.
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Replies
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I think you're in a bad spot. 1) if it is him, would you really want to date him?
2) If it's not him, oops doesn't cut it. If someone told me they did a background check on me, I'd say thanks but no thanks and be on my way.0 -
I think you're in a bad spot. 1) if it is him, would you really want to date him?
2) If it's not him, oops doesn't cut it. If someone told me they did a background check on me, I'd say thanks but no thanks and be on my way.
Yep. Short answer is I would just say, "Sorry but I've just started talking with another guy and I prefer not to talk to multiple people at once."0 -
Poof. What's really the worst he might do, call or text a few times? Just do not respond and he'll get the message. No need to make yourself anxious over it.0
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I agree with db. A background check seems like a bit much. If a man ever told me he had run my background, I'd block his number. I realize it's public information, but that seems to be going to an extreme.
Given what you've found out about him (or not him)....I wouldn't want to date him. I wouldn't flat out tell him I did the background check, but either cut ties or highly scrutinize him. Maybe in the next conversation get a better feel for him. Ask if he's ever been married. If he tells you about two divorces, chances are he's your man. Maybe tell a story about a speeding ticket you got in the past and see if that prompts him to mention his tickets.0 -
Does anyone else check their date out especially if its a blind date or online meeting.
I guess what are the pros and cons in your opinion.
Ive always been open to someone checking me out.0 -
Does anyone else check their date out especially if its a blind date or online meeting.
I guess what are the pros and cons in your opinion.
Ive always been open to someone checking me out.
I googled as much as I had about two guys I went out with over the summer because they were both intimidating (professionally) and I wanted to feel prepared- criminal past didn't occur to me. Accidentally friendzoned both of them, so it didn't matter anyway.
The only con I'm coming up with is the possibility of mentioning information that they haven't actually shared. Otherwise, somebody's past addresses and amazon wishlist can't really hurt?0 -
i've never done drugs nor hung around people who did, but for awhile i seemed to attract dope dealers and not realize that they were. the lesson i learned from that is doing a background search - maybe not immediately though :laugh: - is an easy way to avoid situations where you get pulled over by the cops and taking into custody because your (to your knowledge) law abiding boyfriend a) has a warrant for his arrest b) is one of the largest E dealers in the midwest and c)is carrying a quarter mill of drugs in a briefcase in the trunk.
yeah background checks might be a little crazy, but better safe than sorry. i dont mind if people check me out either, because it's public info and i have nothing to hide.
depending on what i'd find it might not be an issue. but if he see stuff like multiple assaults or anything violent then i'd definitely have to pull a quick disappearing act.
the pros is that you will potentially learn things that will effect your decision on whether or not you want that person in your life.
the cons is that it's not super trusting plus it's possible to learn things out of context and the only way to get that context is to reveal that you're trying to be batman with the background checks.0 -
Wowzer, I didnt know you could check records that easily? Not heard of it here. Why isn't everyone doing it??
If it's public knowledge that people can check you out then I guess it's something that he will need to explain. Could just be a misspent youth?
I thought women liked divorcees??
I think the violence would be the deal breaker..... are the records dated?0 -
interesting. i have googled people i've really hit it off with. but never thought about searching for a "past".
yeah, i don't know about the whole asking if that's really him part......... i might just back away from all of that drama, or potential drama.0 -
The amount of public information varies by state. Florida is very liberal when it comes to finding background information on people. Nothing is really sacred anymore.
Before I meet anyone, I check Broward County Clerk of Courts records for that person (granted, I figure out their last name via Google, Facebook, etc). I check all civil records (foreclosure, divorce, etc) and criminal records (arrests). I also check the Broward County property appraiser to see if they own property. If you dig hard enough, you can even see how much their mortgage on their house is.0 -
I'd run like hell. Block his number, his profile on the dating site and not take this any further. I couldn't handle all of that.0
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Uh .. that is scary! I guess maybe if all this stuff was done when he was younger. Like 10 years ago or something.0
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I have access to nexis lexis but I will not look up people's public records before going out on a first date with them. I would rather give them a chance to tell me information about themselves then blinding myself and making me over think things about someone.0
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Ya I just check state records...it doesnt give alot of detail...I guess knowing a couple lawyers and their lingo has helped decipher stuff. I dont pay for any records...that I would consider unfair....that gives further detail and like some have said I want to keep it open so they can explain stuff if they want.The amount of public information varies by state. Florida is very liberal when it comes to finding background information on people. Nothing is really sacred anymore.
Before I meet anyone, I check Broward County Clerk of Courts records for that person (granted, I figure out their last name via Google, Facebook, etc). I check all civil records (foreclosure, divorce, etc) and criminal records (arrests). I also check the Broward County property appraiser to see if they own property. If you dig hard enough, you can even see how much their mortgage on their house is.0 -
My biggesy fear is getting attached to someone then finding out about this stuff later...then theres that whole "they waited this ling to tell me...what else dont I know."
I am pretty open minded considering I dated someone who was on the sex offender list for flashing. I knew that before i started dating him0 -
My biggesy fear is getting attached to someone then finding out about this stuff later...then theres that whole "they waited this ling to tell me...what else dont I know."
I am pretty open minded considering I dated someone who was on the sex offender list for flashing. I knew that before i started dating him
I understand doing it before getting into an actual relationship but if I am going on a first date in a public place I don't go through public records.0 -
My friends do background checks on ANYONE I start dating. They are way more parinoid than I am. I'm not sure what I would do with your information- on one hand you don't know it's him, does he have a common name? On the other hand I wouldn't want to mess with anyone with a background like that because you have no idea if his wild days are behind him.0
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Yes, it's not that far in the past, I wondered that myself if it was just a wild streak but if it was, I hope he had fun doing it.My friends do background checks on ANYONE I start dating. They are way more parinoid than I am. I'm not sure what I would do with your information- on one hand you don't know it's him, does he have a common name? On the other hand I wouldn't want to mess with anyone with a background like that because you have no idea if his wild days are behind him.
No it's not a common name, and the birthdate matches up with how old his profile says.
I don't know I wonder if I put too much weight on "signs" because I didn't do a check on the last guy, and he still poofed. On one hand I believe this is yet another sign that I need to just stay alone for a long while.
It would just be so nice to meet a guy with common interests and one that would actually like to go out, I don't have to use the boyfriend word or even call it a relationship, we can pretend it's whatever he wants it to be, I just want a companionship right now.
I sooooo wish I could get a dog right now! (for the companionship, no funny business here lol)0 -
I creep anyone's criminal record I meet...even my relatives...
Is it weird? Not at all.
Would I do it before a blind date or Internet date? Yeah. For example if he had DWIs I would like to see if there is evidence of a
drinking problem or if they were just mistakes.
Like the woman who said she dated a flasher...who knows? He could've flashed somebody as a joke or it could be the sign of a serious problem. I think it's good to gauge out problems so you can see how it affects that person.0 -
Oh! THIS guy! I know him very well...I did a public record search and just about **** myself. Two pages of traffic violations simple assualt tresspassing a couple divorces unpaid fines etc....
Two pages so probably 25+ records.
You have a lot in common actually, for example I'm sure you would like to go fishing together, on his small boat, in the early hours in the morning... That is... if you don't mind him dropping the occasional body bag in the lake!
Ma favourite?
http://www.barbermedical.com/emergency-services/body-bags-shrouds-id-bracelets.html?gclid=CI39st2llbQCFXHLtAodYSsAIw
This PVC, heavy duty body bags feature a clear, A4 size document pocket. The centre zip running head to foot and reinfoced seams helps to reduce odour and increases body substance isolation.
The document pocket is priceless to get rid of all the remaining teeth, fingers, car keys, etc. A bit expensive but well worth it in my opinion.
Also if you're quick, it's 40% at the moment! Grab yourself a bargain...0 -
I agree with whoever said just poof on him. We live in an information age, and all the things you listed are a matter of public record. If he doesnt want people knowing then he shouldnt have done those things, simple as that. I wouldnt mention it to him as he seems to have some impulse control issues, I would just fade out and stop answering his texts.
Your last post makes it sound like you are finding reasons to go ahead and continue seeing him. I would caution against that but it is your call. If he doesnt make the cut you can always check out prisonpenpals.com Im sure they are all innocent and deserve some companionship as well!!!0 -
Ha Ha, no...it was more of a rant.I agree with whoever said just poof on him. We live in an information age, and all the things you listed are a matter of public record. If he doesnt want people knowing then he shouldnt have done those things, simple as that. I wouldnt mention it to him as he seems to have some impulse control issues, I would just fade out and stop answering his texts.
Your last post makes it sound like you are finding reasons to go ahead and continue seeing him. I would caution against that but it is your call. If he doesnt make the cut you can always check out prisonpenpals.com Im sure they are all innocent and deserve some companionship as well!!!
Eh, my mom works in the maxium security prison down home as a guard.... I'm sure I could see if she could find one, and they'd be momma approved! ha ha Oh Lord, I need to quit. :blushing:0 -
I do a check too. Better be safe than sorry.0
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wow, this just makes me wanna background check every guy who askes me out now0
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Maybe I'm just a professional "winner winner chicken dinner" picker at guys.... but this isn't the first rodeo just to humor you or scare the pants off of you, there's been:wow, this just makes me wanna background check every guy who askes me out now
A few child molesters
A vehicular manslaughter
OWI/DWI combinations
Assualts ranging from simple to violent
Ugh....
Anyway.... on to more positive pastures.... :drinker:
God I can't wait til spring, and fishing.....
OH yeah and the person who mentioned the body bags.... I already have a stash of my own...they were on sale I couldn't pass them up....ya know...... you just never know when you might need one. :bigsmile: :huh: :noway:0 -
Where do you find all this information for free? I am extremely curious now what my 'permanent record' might contain.
But to the issue, I had a friend in college that got ticketed and put on the sex offender list (lowest severity) due to him peeing in the woods when we were all camping. Someone saw him, and reported him for indecent exposure. I think he has like 2 more years before his name is removed (believe it is like 7 years he has to wait). I don't know if it specifies crimes and such, but in this case he is a good guy that just got screwed over. His wife laughed her *kitten* off when we showed her his record.0 -
Well here in Iowa its www.iowacourts.state.ia.us/Where do you find all this information for free? I am extremely curious now what my 'permanent record' might contain.
But to the issue, I had a friend in college that got ticketed and put on the sex offender list (lowest severity) due to him peeing in the woods when we were all camping. Someone saw him, and reported him for indecent exposure. I think he has like 2 more years before his name is removed (believe it is like 7 years he has to wait). I don't know if it specifies crimes and such, but in this case he is a good guy that just got screwed over. His wife laughed her *kitten* off when we showed her his record.
I know Missouri has a website as well (where I'm originally from), sometimes if you just google public court records you can conjure up your states site.
From there it's all Trial searches, it doesn't give you the gory details but just what would go on public record. You should look yourself up. At least make sure there aren't any errors. lol.
Yeah sex offender registry is 8 years with good behavior. lol. Poor guy.0 -
:laugh: farmers daughter you're from the midwest. i don't think you're having worse luck i honestly think there's a larger ratio of shady people in the midwest US than say on the east coast. i grew up in cincinnati and there's not too much opportunity for lucrative careers there , so the vast majority of guys i met who were doing well for themselves were either playing for the bengals or selling drugs :laugh:
as for where to find the info, it depends on your state. some states you can just look the information up online by going to your county's website, for instance here's the one i'd use for cincinnati : http://www.courtclerk.org/
the sex offender label is one of the biggest misnomers since there is no real clear definition of what exactly is a sex offender. most people think OMG raving mad pedophile but the majority of people put on sex offender lists are people who are using the bathroom in public, mooning others as a joke, getting hot and heavy with their SO in a public place, etc. plus if you get caught it all depends on how much of a d*ck the officer wants to be about it.0 -
It looks like the state of Michigan charges $10 for every search of the criminal records you want to make. I don't really care enough about my record to donate money to the state.
That, and I am sure if there was something there it would come up in one of my many background checks due to coaching youth sports teams.0 -
A buddy of mine has been denied work in the past because there is someone with his same name and birthday that has lived in the same county and has a criminal record.
It's a long shot, I know, but food for thought.
I don't provide enough info for a background check, or I would never get any dates.
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