A second child after you child on the spectrum?
Booksandbeaches
Posts: 1,791 Member
Has anyone here had another child after your child on the spectrum? I've thought about it and I'm curious about whether others have decided to go that route. If you had another child is that child also on the spectrum?
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Good topic. I'm also interested in any responses people may have. I have an (almost) three-year-old daughter and my 20 month old son was just recently diagnosed ASD.
That being said, I was interested in having more children, however, now with my son having autism it wouldn't be a good choice for our family. We're sticking with the two kids we have for now. I've often wondered about that, but just knowing the daily struggles myself and my boyfriend have with caring for our son (who is VERY hyper and as of right now non-verbal) it wouldn't be a good time.
Anyone else have an opinion on this?0 -
My fear is of course another child on the spectrum. Most of the families I see in my area have a second child also on the spectrum. I just don't know if financially and emotionally we could manage another kiddo on the spectrum. One on the spectrum is hard enough.0
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I have a 5 year old daughter on the spectrum and an 11 month old who is so far developing typically.0
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My eldest did not get diagnosed till he was 7 and by then I had two more children. We did ask at the time if it was genetic and they said not likely. Tom is my eldest with ASD, Jack had global development delay partly down to being deaf due to glue ear and since having grommets is classed as typical with a few quirks. I then had Bella who has always had some issues but not till last year they decided it was likely to be ASD and is undergoing diagnosis. At that point we also had a small toddler that has obvious issues and at 2 1/2 is also waiting to see the diagnosis panel.
I think if we knew about Bella before having our youngest we may have not had another but we are so glad we did. I will be honest and say life is very demanding and can be difficult but if I could turn the clock back I would do it all over again.0 -
My 5 year is moderately autistic, I have a 4y and 2y that are fine. For me it is hard now to see her behide my 2y. the only issuse we have is with them copy her if they want more attention for me.0
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My almost 5 year old son has Autism. My daughter is almost 3 now. We have been watching her like a hawk ever since she was born. She has a very mild speech delay. Making a lot of progress and pretty soon wont need speech anymore. She is typical, no autism diagnosis. Some quack doctors tried to tell me otherwise early on but they were wrong. They tried telling me I am in denial of all her 'red flags' however, when I asked what were all these red flags the doctor only said speech delay. They were full of it. Never went back there!0
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I am a mom of two autistic sons 16 monthes apart in age. Matthew is 15 now and Daniel is 14. The boys were both misdiagnosed as ADHD for years and it took one heck of a fight to get the drs here in Kansas to relaize it was something more. I can say that I would not change my life with them for the world.
The only big difference that I see in my life versus the life of the friends I have that have children are my kids are so structured in their routines. We are not really able to change things up to much without the boys getting perturbed. But other than that it is not an issue for us.
We went on to have two more children. Chrissy exhibits traits of autism just like i do but she is social and in the gifted programs at school in English and language. Jessica is gifted and her IQ is off the charts. So you dont really know what hand you're going to be dealt after having an autistic child.
Just remember God will never give you anything that he thinks you can not handle.
mdcjmom0 -
Our son was diagnosed when our daughter was 3 weeks, she is now 2 and developing typically or ahead in all areas, more due to our concern and constant interaction I am sure! Now they are 4.5 and 2 and she has been a major asset to him learning to interact and play...they are great buddles!0
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I was pregnant with my daughter when the twins got the asd diagnoses....we watched her like a hawk but she was fine as are my 2 little ones.0
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I have two daughters on the spectrum. The youngest one was diagnosed at 6 (now 10) and the other one was diagnosed at age 10 (now 11). My older daughter had a series of other issues including depression, social anxiety, adhd, anorexia and seizure disorder so I guess the doctors and myself were more concerned about her other issues that we completely missed the autism.0
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Hi, I have four sons, no three on the spectrum, no 4 was on the way before we knew. So one out of 4 for us. Love them all.0
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My children are only 22 months apart. My oldest, who is on the spectrum, wasn't diagnosed until after I had son #2, who, coincidentally or not, is deaf. And I wouldn't trade them for the world. Does having one make it hard to decide to pull the trigger on a second baby? I've often wondered if I would have had #2 if I knew #1 was autistic. I may have stopped at one child. But I was also an older mother. I was 33 when I had the first. Not old by today's standards but that was 23 years ago. I actually think today it is a much easier decision since we know SO MUCH more about autism and early intervention than we did before. But that's a personal choice every couple has to make. These kids are expensive to raise and it can be a strain on a marriage.0
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We chose not to have more children after our daughters diagnosis. She is a handful on her own. I often tell people that we have one child who is worth five. At the Autism update last year, we had a gentleman from POND (Province of Ontario Neurodevelopmental Disorders) come and talk to us about autism and genetics and he had said that other siblings have a 20% chance of having autism. It is in the DNA and it effects every chromosome, and every family has their own individual DNA map. Very interesting stuff, and the discussion wasn't dry at all. I hope he will be back this year with more great info. I have been wanting to get involved with them but haven't had the time.
Here is a link to what the Toronto star had to say
http://www.thestar.com/opinion/editorialopinion/2012/11/26/integrated_research_offers_hope_for_answers_about_autism.html
And here is the link to POND
http://www.pond-network.ca/0 -
I just came across this - and it's a great question. My son turned three in December and was diagnosed right before he turned two. My husband and I always talked about two kids - but he's concerned about having a second child with autism. I'm concerned about leaving my son alone in the world when our time comes. I'm also of the mindset that if it's meant to happen it will.
I haven't researched this statement much - but will eventually look into it: Our ABA consultant said a study was recently released that indicate the farther apart siblings are, the less the chances of the younger one having autism. Apparently if the kids are a couple years apart the risk is great - but if they are four or five years apart it's the same as it would be for a first born.
Again - I haven't looked into this and either way - if we decide to go for # 2 - whatever is meant to be will be.
I appreaciate everyone's feedback on this too
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I just came across this - and it's a great question. My son turned three in December and was diagnosed right before he turned two. My husband and I always talked about two kids - but he's concerned about having a second child with autism. I'm concerned about leaving my son alone in the world when our time comes. I'm also of the mindset that if it's meant to happen it will.
I haven't researched this statement much - but will eventually look into it: Our ABA consultant said a study was recently released that indicate the farther apart siblings are, the less the chances of the younger one having autism. Apparently if the kids are a couple years apart the risk is great - but if they are four or five years apart it's the same as it would be for a first born.
Again - I haven't looked into this and either way - if we decide to go for # 2 - whatever is meant to be will be.
I appreaciate everyone's feedback on this too
Hi my eldest is almost 14, one about to turn 9 and one who has just turned 8 and then a 2 year old. My eldest is diagnosed with ASD at 7 and now my younger two (both girls)are undergoing diagnosis. The is a large gap between the older two and the younger two and not made much difference. They also have different Dads so know the gene is probably coming from my side although you can see ASD traits in hubby's side of the family.0 -
My first child (boy) is on the spectrum (mild), I have had 2 more children (girls) and so far they seem to be developing normally.0
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I know this is an old thread, but yes, I had a normal child, then a child with aspbergers, and a third child that is normal.0
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My 4-year old brother has autism, and my mom had another baby after him. My sister is almost one year old now, and so far everything is normal. She's a very smart little girl0
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I have a 24 year old with Autism and a 20 year old who is "normal". We had already conceived Zach when Josh was diagnosed. Zach is a senior in college, married, and quite happy. Josh lives with us and is a joy to be around.0
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I realize I am posting a bit late. I have had 4 kids. My eldest with Aspergers. My second seemed "typical". Third with Apraxia. Fourth seems "typical". My second is in Gates classes, but has some issues with ADHD and being able to function socially as well as I would have hoped. There is never any guarantees with any child, but I love them all the same and have enjoyed a large family. I wish you and your family the best.
As someone who knows a bit about genetics - there is a connection to a number of spectrum disorders. The problem is that there is also a number of environmental cues that may be required to initiate expression of some of the spectrum traits.0 -
I have 2 on the spectrum but they have different dads .I never look back or regret my choice to have 3 kids .good luck0
