Single Peeps!

Join

How much is too much Convenience?

farmers_daughter
farmers_daughter Posts: 1,632 Member
edited January 7 in Social Groups
So I know some of you might be appaled by someone even asking this but here's my question essentially...

Would you meet someone for the first time at thier place or your place (place meaning house)?

Here's the conversation I just had:
(Keep in mind I'm 30 he's 24, he lives less than 3 miles away)

Him: I live out by the race track! Thinking about Having a beer, I'm just watching football. My name is trent and would love for you to come over. :)

Me: Ah.... I had a little too much fun Friday for beer again yet. lol. Unfortunately I'm not a first time at someone's place gal. Not saying anything against you (your profile makes you sound pretty good), but I just don't meet for the first time at someone's place (or mine for that matter). My name is Crystal.
If you're game for anywhere but home I'm game, not sure where you could watch the game at. Sorry.

Him: Thats to bad! Idk where We could either, could We Make an exception and I'll cook Supper? I understand your concern, But I'm just a young single guy looking for a good womans company. We don't live that far from one Another and could be a good thing! :)

What do you think? How would you answer that. PS - I hate when someone says "That's too bad" (which in this case not sure if he's refering to my Friday night, or if he's saying it's too bad I'm that kind of girl :))

THought I'd throw this out there to chew on.
«1

Replies

  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,923 Member
    No, you NEVER meet for the first time at someone's house. You are worth waiting for, setting up a meeting time, and going somewhere in public. I could care less if he was your new neighbor down the street, there's too much risk there...
  • Daisy_Cutter_
    Daisy_Cutter_ Posts: 386 Member
    Hmmmm... I have done it once before and the entire time I was waiting for a machete to come out. We wanted to have a Monty-Python-athon so it had to be at a house.

    His comment on wanting a "good woman's company" makes me think he might have other plans. I personally wouldn't.
  • dbrightwell1270
    dbrightwell1270 Posts: 1,732 Member
    Why is this even a question? Is there seriously no place where you can find a football game and have a drink? I've driven through towns with only 150 residents and there is at least one bar.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    I wouldnt go to a guy's house on a first meeting. No way!! :noway:

    You dont know anything about him hun. He might be as good as gold. But he might be a crazy *kitten* creep!! I'd meet him in public first to assess this!!!

    Plus, if he can't be arsed to meet you on a date cos the football is on, well, what's his attitude to future dates going to be??

    I'd stick with your first reply. Just say something like "we will have to make it another night then, when you're not busy with the football"

    :flowerforyou:
  • zachatta
    zachatta Posts: 1,340 Member
    Well you can't blame him for trying. I don't know him personally, and obviously you don't either.

    So I would just play it safe and be insistent on meeting elsewhere first, then going from there.

    Also by the tone of his messages he seems to have a one track goal, and if you are ok with that, then rock on. However I am assuming by this post you are not.

    I don't blame you for not feeling safe in this scenario, while there is a good possibility he is just trying to get with you, there is also that slim chance he really is crazy. Good on you, I would continue to play it safe. Besides any reasonable adult would agree to meet somewhere public first.
  • farmers_daughter
    farmers_daughter Posts: 1,632 Member
    Woooaaahhh wait before anyone gets upset. Please know I definitely turned him down on the offer, but I was just collecting different thoughts on it.
    Ok continue. :)
  • Daisy_Cutter_
    Daisy_Cutter_ Posts: 386 Member
    Woooaaahhh wait before anyone gets upset. Please know I definitely turned him down on the offer, but I was just collecting different thoughts on it.
    Ok continue. :)

    Good girl....didn't want to hear about a hacked up farmers daughter found in a corn field!
  • farmers_daughter
    farmers_daughter Posts: 1,632 Member
    Woooaaahhh wait before anyone gets upset. Please know I definitely turned him down on the offer, but I was just collecting different thoughts on it.
    Ok continue. :)

    Good girl....didn't want to hear about a hacked up farmers daughter found in a corn field!
    True that. I've learned way too much in the last year to risk it.
    For one, I've actually gotten a taste of what being "truly single" is like and it's not as bad as I thought it would be, some days are worse than others but not as bad as I imagined.
    Secondly, I've learned what boundaries are....this was a no brainer boundary. Granted the thought crossed my mind, but I had to remind my dusty old brain what would happen if I said yes. lol.

    Oh I'm such a nutcase sometimes. But I like it.
  • farmers_daughter
    farmers_daughter Posts: 1,632 Member
    Ah another scenario.....

    Knowing what you know about the conversation.

    Would you go out tonight (or whenever) with him if he asked?
  • zachatta
    zachatta Posts: 1,340 Member
    Ah another scenario.....

    Knowing what you know about the conversation.

    Would you go out tonight (or whenever) with him if he asked?

    In fairness, he was probably just thinking with his dink with his previous message.

    When men do that, we sometimes come off creepy. (unintentionally)

    He is probably harmless, if he is asking you to meet him in a public place (and you are interested in him) then there isn't a reason to not meet him.

    If you are simply not interested, then the choice is obvious.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    Ah another scenario.....

    Knowing what you know about the conversation.

    Would you go out tonight (or whenever) with him if he asked?

    Yeah! Why not! Doesnt make him a bad person to try it on! Just meet him where you feels safe and in control :flowerforyou:
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    Sounds like he wants/wanted a hookup..."good woman's company" sounds like sex. He is probably harmless but why risk anything?
    I agree with Kristen though...you deserve to be taken out in public!
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Even if the first time you laid eyes on each other was a non date in person scenario (such as a Meetup event, fitness class, grocery store, etc), the first date should not begin at someone's place of residence.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    In fairness, he was probably just thinking with his dink with his previous message.

    When men do that, we sometimes come off creepy. (unintentionally)

    He is probably harmless, if he is asking you to meet him in a public place (and you are interested in him) then there isn't a reason to not meet him.

    If you are simply not interested, then the choice is obvious.

    Yup, this. ^^
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
    I wouldn't go to someone's place on first date.

    Yes I'd go out tonight with a guy if I didn't have other plans. I did it a couple of times. They were fun guys.
  • Danielle_2013
    Danielle_2013 Posts: 806 Member
    He sounds young and either not bright or lazy...and not overly bothered if he meets you or not...at least in the original message. Blah.
    I honestly would be turned off enough to not date him...but if you are bored, it might be amusing?
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
    Just go over to his place already! #yolo
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Just go over to his place already! #yolo

    I can't believe it took this long to see "yolo" in a thread. :smile:
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    Just go over to his place already! #yolo

    I can't believe it took this long to see "yolo" in a thread. :smile:

    What does it mean? :huh:
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    YOLO = You Only Live Once
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    YOLO = You Only Live Once

    haha!! Nice one! Thanks :flowerforyou:
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
    My neighbor introduced me to YOYO the other day. Your Only Young Once.

    She says that's her excuse whenever she does anything stupid.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    Hell no! not just for the safety reasons, but i hate hate hate sloppy lazy first dates.

    this dude needs to do better

    ETA . my response would be "Do better"
  • Danielle_2013
    Danielle_2013 Posts: 806 Member
    My neighbor introduced me to YOYO the other day. Your Only Young Once.

    She says that's her excuse whenever she does anything stupid.

    Anna- the saying has been recently popularized by rappers Drake and Rick Ross and is well known in the teen world..ie
    No one over a certain age really gets away with saying it without looking silly.

    Yolo was originally attributed to Mae West but the concept of carpe diem has obviously been around a little longer!
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
    My neighbor introduced me to YOYO the other day. Your Only Young Once.

    She says that's her excuse whenever she does anything stupid.

    Anna- the saying has been recently popularized by rappers Drake and Rick Ross and is well known in the teen world..ie
    No one over a certain age really gets away with saying it without looking silly.

    Yolo was originally attributed to Mae West but the concept of carpe diem has obviously been around a little longer!

    #yolo and #swag go hand in hand.

    tumblr_mf5eoc9Q9B1rohu20o1_250.gif

    I'm in an image posting mood tonight.
  • j4nash
    j4nash Posts: 1,719 Member
    He's probably looking to get some, stay away.
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    He asked you to his place before even telling you his name? he was looking for booty or someone to kill. Probably booty but you can never tell.
  • MysticMaiden22
    MysticMaiden22 Posts: 324 Member
    I've met a guy for the first time at his place....and guys have met me at mine for the first time as well. Usually it was after talking on the phone and/or texting for about a week. It's really not that unusual....but it also just depends on the instinct you have about the person.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    My neighbor introduced me to YOYO the other day. Your Only Young Once.

    She says that's her excuse whenever she does anything stupid.

    Anna- the saying has been recently popularized by rappers Drake and Rick Ross and is well known in the teen world..ie
    No one over a certain age really gets away with saying it without looking silly.

    Yolo was originally attributed to Mae West but the concept of carpe diem has obviously been around a little longer!

    Yeah, I'm defo past the YOYO one!! :laugh: But I'm still living, so can go with the YOLO!!! :bigsmile:

    I still wouldnt go round to this guy's house tho, that's a bit like jumping out a plane without a 'chute!

    Cute new pic SB!! :flowerforyou:
  • EBFNP
    EBFNP Posts: 529 Member
    Hmm...I had a first date extended to a guys house..We went to a coffee house first then he invited me to his place. I can't believe I agreed to it. Once I went it seems as if it took a lot of effort for us to interact outside of his house. He was too much in control of the dates in that situation. Lazy dating is correct. We never had sex, but that didn't stop him from trying since a bedroom is around the corner.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories