I just DON'T GET IT!
Options
TLCEsq
Posts: 413 Member
Yesterday I went to my perinatologist's office for fetal monitoring. The only reason I have to do it is because... well, I don't really know, which is part of the problem in the first place. I'm "high risk" because I have lupus, asthma and I'm hypothyroid. None of these have been causing me any issues during pregnancy except an autoimmune flare I had after I got my flu shot, which has cleared up.
Anyway, yesterday the front desk lady asked me when they're going to deliver my baby. Those of you who know me are aware I am trying for a natural birth and I am against C-Sections and induction unless there is an absolute, unrefuted medical necessity for me to have it. To each her own when it comes to birth, but that's the way I feel and it seems like I am continuously disrespected because of it! :mad: I just laughed her yesterday and told her that it'll be whenever he decides he wants to come out. She looked at me like I was a crazy person and just gave me a nervous chuckle. Then I had my ultrasound to measure amniotic fluid and the tech asked me if they're going to deliver me early (I'm 34 weeks). I told her I didn't know and frankly didn't care (at this point I am irritated). She gave me a baffled look and I explained to her that I am planning for a natural birth. She said, "As opposed to a C-Section?" and I said yes, I want to avoid induction or a C-Section at all costs. Then she got quiet and said, "What makes you think that they'll just let you do whatever you want?" I sat up, looked at her, and said, "Frankly, I DON'T CARE what the doctor here wants to do because he's not my attending OB/GYN anyway and moreover, this is my body, my baby, and my decision." She took that as her cue to shut up and do her job.
What IS IT with people's reactions when they find out I don't have a "scheduled" birth? It really baffles me that this is the attitude in our country nowadays. I'm well aware of it but I guess I need to prepare for all this BS from here on out. I am not trying to sound preachy at all so I'm sorry if I offend anyone, but last I checked, birth decisions were individual to the mother (and the father of course) and should be respected. It seems like I get nothing but crap from people which is why I don't talk about it often. The best part is I told my sister that I was upset over this and she told me I was being hormonal ::facepalm::
Anyway, yesterday the front desk lady asked me when they're going to deliver my baby. Those of you who know me are aware I am trying for a natural birth and I am against C-Sections and induction unless there is an absolute, unrefuted medical necessity for me to have it. To each her own when it comes to birth, but that's the way I feel and it seems like I am continuously disrespected because of it! :mad: I just laughed her yesterday and told her that it'll be whenever he decides he wants to come out. She looked at me like I was a crazy person and just gave me a nervous chuckle. Then I had my ultrasound to measure amniotic fluid and the tech asked me if they're going to deliver me early (I'm 34 weeks). I told her I didn't know and frankly didn't care (at this point I am irritated). She gave me a baffled look and I explained to her that I am planning for a natural birth. She said, "As opposed to a C-Section?" and I said yes, I want to avoid induction or a C-Section at all costs. Then she got quiet and said, "What makes you think that they'll just let you do whatever you want?" I sat up, looked at her, and said, "Frankly, I DON'T CARE what the doctor here wants to do because he's not my attending OB/GYN anyway and moreover, this is my body, my baby, and my decision." She took that as her cue to shut up and do her job.
What IS IT with people's reactions when they find out I don't have a "scheduled" birth? It really baffles me that this is the attitude in our country nowadays. I'm well aware of it but I guess I need to prepare for all this BS from here on out. I am not trying to sound preachy at all so I'm sorry if I offend anyone, but last I checked, birth decisions were individual to the mother (and the father of course) and should be respected. It seems like I get nothing but crap from people which is why I don't talk about it often. The best part is I told my sister that I was upset over this and she told me I was being hormonal ::facepalm::
0
Replies
-
*hugs*
I haven't experienced this personally, but I can relate to the anger over it.
What does YOUR doctor say about it?0 -
*hugs*
I haven't experienced this personally, but I can relate to the anger over it.
What does YOUR doctor say about it?
Thanks
My doctor says he will not intervene unless it's absolutely medically necessary and there is something wrong with the baby. His C-Section rate is 18%, while not ideal it's a sure shot better than a lot of other doctors! If I end up being "overdue" I refuse to be induced unless the testing really shows something is wrong. Babies don't come on a "schedule" and more people need to realize that. 0 -
18% C-section rate is VERY good for most doctor's, so I'm glad he's listening.
As for the rest of them, start perfecting your quick-draw-flip-the-bird maneuver.
0 -
Just remember, it is your body and your baby. You have the right to the birth that you choose, and frankly, a natural birth causes less complications for mother and baby, so should be supported. Stick to your guns and don't be afraid to tell people off. I am used to getting lectured about my choices. The doctors that I work with think that I am crazy for having a midwife attended home birth, but they get an earful if they try to question my judgement. Frankly, the maternal and fetal mortality rates in the US are far higher than in many other developed countries due to such high levels of birth intervention. According to the World Health Organization, the US birth stats are way off from where they consider healthy.0
-
Thanks so much for the support ladies, I just HAD to vent! And Nikki you're right, when they tout all this intervention crap for the health of mom and baby and our rates of complications, etc. are actually HIGHER than they should be... something is very wrong!0
-
*hugs* I'm so sorry!! I'm glad your doc is on the same page as you!0
-
I am going to have to start fighting that battle soon. My first 2 were c-sections and I desperately do not want to go through another one.0
-
I am going to have to start fighting that battle soon. My first 2 were c-sections and I desperately do not want to go through another one.
More power to you, and good for you for wanting to try a VBAC!0 -
I'm in the military and they basically gave me no choice but to be induced with my first one (I think because I was gaining weight too fast at the end). I'm just happy they didn't end up doing a c-section!0
-
Bummer! This is my first and the military hospital where I'll deliver won't intervene unless there's high risk to me and/or my baby (they won't even discuss anything until week 41). Their c-section rate is also around 11% because they recognize that they get us back to work faster if there's no major surgery. This military hospital employs 4 midwives and I'll have a doula, and the midwives have been changing the culture of this hospital to make it lean more toward the natural birth side of the spectrum.I'm in the military and they basically gave me no choice but to be induced with my first one (I think because I was gaining weight too fast at the end). I'm just happy they didn't end up doing a c-section!
tcrofford, sorry you had to go through that but good on you for sticking up for what you want and not giving in! Don't ever forget it's your body and they can't do ANY medical procedures on you UNLESS they have your explicit permission. Good luck 0 -
Though it may seem like the whole world schedules their delivery, that is not the case. Every woman has a choice when it comes to their bodies especially pregnancy. If you feel natural is the best for you and your little one then that is the best course. I got the same reaction when people asked me if i got an epidural or pain med during labor, when i said no, it was like i grew another head! I understand some women choose to have pain meds, i support them in their decision, but I feel our bodies were designed for this and naturally will know what to do. The next time someone is negative about your decision, remember that it's your choice and keep your cool. Good luck to you and know that for every negative person, you have 2 supporting you. 0
-
I strongly dislike "your just hormonal"...
Bottom line this is your body, your baby, and it is your decision of what you want done. Unless your OBG really feels that it would be unsafe for the both of you everyone else should just learn to mind their business. I am sure that if your attending doctor felt that this was dangerous for you to have a natural birth they would have discussed that with you already. Hopefully the opnions from other parties will stop now...Good luck with everything.0 -
You have lupus, asthma, and hypothyroidism. These are all manageable. I'm not a doctor, but I am surprised you have to see another doctor as well.
Worry about what your OB says, then consider whether or not you have to switch to another OB or to a midwife at that point.
I don't know why people think scheduled c-sections are awesome. Frankly, I don't want anyone cutting me open unless they have to. Scheduling is nice, but past that, no thanks! (Having felt what pitocin does to my body, I don't want an induction, either.)
When you get lectured on it again, just say, "I'm not sure what the big deal is. Last time I checked, my vagina still works."
I mean, I know there's more to childbirth than a functioning vagina, but seriously. My aunt had three healthy kids when she had lupus, and the youngest is almost 30. Who doesn't have asthma these days, and hypothyroidism shouldn't be that big an issue. Obviously you need to have your meds at appropriate levels, but unless I'm missing something, you should be just fine to go through labor. It's likely less than one day of your life, and obviously you are open to the possibility that if something happens, you may need a c-section, which is totally reasonable.
Frankly, I don't like doctors/nurses/whatever who assume the worst. It's like, let's be optimistic, please!0 -
When you get lectured on it again, just say, "I'm not sure what the big deal is. Last time I checked, my vagina still works."
This made me laugh SO hard because it's exactly how I feel, haha! My perinatologist is VERY nice, but in the "high risk" realm I'm sure they're taught all about intervention and precautions, etc. When I was 28 weeks at my appointment he even made an offhand comment while looking at my paperwork about me being monitored and if "anything is wrong we may have to deliver him early but we'll see." My husband said the look I gave him could have turned him to stone, LOL! I try not to be antagonistic or have an attitude when I talk to my doctors, but this isn't my first rodeo either. Granted, I've never been pregnant before, but with the health conditions I have it took FOREVER for me to be diagnosed properly by my rheumatologist and three years for me to find a doctor who properly treats my thyroid and adrenal problems. I'm not one of those patients who goes in just to hear "Oh your labs are normal" when I still feel like crap!
I think every woman deserves to be able to make her own childbirh choices and there are circumstances where intervention is necessary, but the bottom line is I'm tired of doctors trying to scare expectant mothers into thinking they can't push out a 9-lb baby, or they need a C-Section because the baby's heart rate dropped during labor... I could go on and on. I know at my next appointment my perinatologist will bring up the baby's size again (I'll be 36 weeks then) and I told my husband I'm prepared to talk to him if he brings up inducing me or scheduling a C-Section. I'm six feet tall for crying out loud, and I'm going to do everything I can to make sure Brock comes out of my vagina like he should!0
