When should I go public about the pregnancy?
sarakenna1
Posts: 261
I'm about 8 weeks along. I've told my immediate family and 2 friends. Should I wait until 13 weeks to go public with friends and coworkers? What worked for you?
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Bumpity bump
I've told my parents/sister... I'm about 6 weeks along.0 -
We told our family/parents at 10 weeks. No one else knows yet and I'm 13.5 weeks. We had 5 losses before this pregnancy so we are waiting as long as possible to tell people this time, although our parents are getting impatient to let everyone know.
Most people seem comfortable sharing the news after a scan/ultrasound where a heartbeat is seen, as miscarriage risk are drastically lower after that. Have fun telling when you decide to! 0 -
I told my two best friends as soon as I found out (five weeks).
Oh, and of course my husband. I waited until 10 weeks to tell my mom-in-law as well as my parents then 14 weeks to tell the rest of thefamily and work (would have waited longer for work BUT I was starting to show) anddddd of course the FB announcement (christmas eve) ;p 0 -
Regardless if this is your first or third I am now a full believer in waiting to tell until the 2nd trimester. I had two healthy easy pregnancies with zero complications followed by a miscarriage at 10 weeks. I told everyone I was pregnant at 8 weeks, only to have to tell EVERYONE two weeks later that I had lost the baby. That was really difficult. I am now pregnant again (20 weeks today), and waited until I was 14 weeks to tell anyone. (besides husband, mom and sister) Good luck!0
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Thanks for the feedback! It's helpful to hea how others handle it.0
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Waiting until 13 weeks then will tell people. Parents know and one or two friends.
I need to tell my boss by then as I want to give him plenty of notice about me taking maternity leave.0 -
Regardless if this is your first or third I am now a full believer in waiting to tell until the 2nd trimester. I had two healthy easy pregnancies with zero complications followed by a miscarriage at 10 weeks. I told everyone I was pregnant at 8 weeks, only to have to tell EVERYONE two weeks later that I had lost the baby. That was really difficult. I am now pregnant again (20 weeks today), and waited until I was 14 weeks to tell anyone. (besides husband, mom and sister) Good luck!
Agreed. Basically my husband and our immediate families knew before the 2nd tri, and even then I wanted to wait until my next doctor's appointment to have the Doppler done to tell everyone else.
I have seen this happen, though, where previous pregnancies were fine, so mom and dad share the news super early, then have to explain what happened when something goes wrong. I can't evn imagine how difficult that is to bear, let alone share.
If you end up with morning sickness, though, you may want to tell your immediate boss/co-workers to make that less stressful. I had a co-worker once who had it really bad, but by telling us (1) we were able to pick up the slack on really bad days and (2) we could try not to aggravate it by not eating/drinking things that bothered her (bananas and coffee, namely).0 -
If you end up with morning sickness, though, you may want to tell your immediate boss/co-workers to make that less stressful. I had a co-worker once who had it really bad, but by telling us (1) we were able to pick up the slack on really bad days and (2) we could try not to aggravate it by not eating/drinking things that bothered her (bananas and coffee, namely).
I agree, if you are having some issue that is caused by your pregnancy, it might be easier to share with those around you so they can help you through it. You shouldn't need to take it all upon yourself.
I told my fitness instructor so that he knew that if I needed a rest, it was because I was trying to take it easy (rather than thinking I was slacking off)0 -
I waited until 16 weeks to announce to everyone at Christmas time. I had to tell my boss immediately since I'm in the military though--I was 6 weeks. I'd wait until at least 14 weeks just to be safe...but that's just me :O).0
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I told my immediate family, but I am 14 weeks and even my in-laws dont know yet. We lost our last at 19 weeks, so I have been hesitant to say anything. I have to tell work soon though, because I am really starting to show!0
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We told a fair few people early on, close friends and family. However I think that's just because it was such a complete shock to us (we weren't remotely trying), and we just couldn't keep it to ourselves. I was also maybe a little ignorant to the real possibilities that something could go wrong.
I do think its the sensible thing to wait until at least 12 weeks, but I'm not generally a particularly sensible person. I also think if you are a really private person, then definately keep it quiet. Even though we told quite a few people, I think I would have told all those people about a MC anyway.0 -
Regardless if this is your first or third I am now a full believer in waiting to tell until the 2nd trimester. I had two healthy easy pregnancies with zero complications followed by a miscarriage at 10 weeks. I told everyone I was pregnant at 8 weeks, only to have to tell EVERYONE two weeks later that I had lost the baby. That was really difficult. I am now pregnant again (20 weeks today), and waited until I was 14 weeks to tell anyone. (besides husband, mom and sister) Good luck!
This happened to me too. I had two healthy babes and then 3 miscarriages, one of them at 12 weeks after we had already told everyone we were pg. So this is our third and we waited until the second trimester to tell our families, even my mom and sisters, which killed me and then the rest of the world after that. I'm 31 weeks and some of our family have just found out over christmas because we wanted to tell people in person and just didn't get to see everyone as quickly as we had hoped.0 -
I could not contain myself. I ended up spilling the beans early, but as others have said, it can be a risk. Your chances of miscarriage go way down after 12 weeks. It's really up to you and your partner what you are comfortable with.0
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I would keep from making a broad announcement until you are in the second tri but for me, I needed to tell a few smaller groups what was going on.
At 5-6 weeks we told my parents and our best friends (such a sweet couple). I know that was super early to tell, but I figured even if something DID happen and we lost the baby - they needed to know because I wouldn't be able to handle a miscarriage by myself (in the past I have suffered from depression and I have a toddler at home - in the case of a miscarriage I would have needed them to help me take care of him if I went off the grid for a few days).
I also suffer from really bad nausea/food aversions and SPD so my coworkers (the small group I work with - not the entire department) needed to know pretty soon so that they didn't think I was contagious with a stomach virus or something (one of them is a germophobe).
Everyone else found out when we hit 12-14 weeks. This worked for us We made the facebook announcement around 15 weeks I think. 0 -
I told everyone around 4 weeks. Family and friends knew we were trying for over a year so I couldn't resist lol. I'm 8 weeks along today too.0
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I just told everyone yesterday at 12 weeks I didn't really show yet and it was fun to keep it a secret 0
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Most people seem comfortable sharing the news after a scan/ultrasound where a heartbeat is seen, as miscarriage risk are drastically lower after that.
This for us. 10 weeks along now and have just started telling family and friends after having an ultrasound and seeing the baby's heartbeat last week.0 -
It is completely up to you. I told everyone early. I know others who have waited to announce until later.
It just depends on your comfort level.0 -
We didn't tell anyone, including our parents, until 12 weeks for each of our pregnancies. I've never had a miscarriage, and I'm not high risk, it is just something we like to keep to ourselves until we've seen/heard the heartbeat a few times. I also didn't want to un-tell my children if something did happen.0
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I always wanted to wait, but I just couldn't help telling people!0
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I've had experience with miscarriages as well so this time I only told one or two friends (not even parents, I didn't want to get their hopes up or depress them in case I had another m/c) prior to 12 weeks. DH spilled the beans to his family early which kind of pissed me off.
Then I told my parents and more friends, and told my boss at 14 weeks. Although he had already guessed since I had weekly appointments lol
A friend announced her pregnancy on FB last week, only to be followed by a m/c announcement 3 days later. How sad and awkward.0 -
My husband and I told my parents and grandmother who is not in good health as soon as we found out but waited until 14 weeks to tell everyone else. Some people were already suspicious way before that because unfortunately, I gained weight so quickly but the actual announcement didn't come until we felt it was right. I still haven't announced it on FB and I'm nearly 29 weeks! lol0
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I waited until 13 weeks for extended family, 16 weeks for coworkers and I still haven't told facebook and I'm 18 weeks now (but will be telling next week after the u/s)0
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I waited until about 12-13 weeks for both. The second time around I was much more casual about it. Yes, it's exciting, but I'm not as adrenalized (made up a word) as I was with #1.
However, I did tell immediate family/closest friends a lot sooner. With strict instructions to my dad not to blab it off to everyone.
If I WERE to make a piece of related advice-- your first question is going to be "When are you due?". I would recommend being vague with the due date. That was my mistake. DS#1 was due on February 27, and until he was born on March 9, I was flooded with "is he here yet?". Totally overwhelming at that point in the pregnancy when you want baby to be here just as much (if not more) than your well meaning friends.
So this baby I have now is "due in April." Technically the due date is April 3, but April is vague enough since I'll probably deliver late again. 0 -
I've had two miscarriages in the past so we waited to tell people this time. We had an u/s on Monday (10 weeks) and saw our little one's heartbeat! I told my immediate family after that. I want to wait until 13-14 weeks to tell people at work, but I'm not sure I can hide it that long. I'll tell friends and family on facebook after we find out the gender.
I may take PP's advice and not tell my due date... Well, I already told immediate family, but for everyone else. I went 40wks 6days with my first son and 40wks 5days with my second. I'm due at the end of August, but could go into September. Maybe I should tell them around Labor Day...0 -
I've just found out - well, test lines getting steadily darker over the last few days, AF not showing and even hubby could see the lines this morning!
Off for bloods on Monday.
I text my 2 best friends who have supported my through 3 miscarriages and told them.
Now we'll wait until after having it confirmed by blood test next week before sharing with my parents next weekend - Mum and I are really close and I'd want her support even if we miscarriage.
Every one else will be after the 1st trimester ends.
Good luck ladies and H & H 9 months to you all x0
