I know you guys will give it to me straight....
farmers_daughter
Posts: 1,632 Member
So this is a rant, if you don't wanna hear a rant please move on I guess. I'm really sorry to those who do read it I know it's long, but I'm frustrated and can't rant to anyone here.
i didn't want to waste my time in the main forums. You guys know me better than them (not that you really know me but you know what I'm trying to say)
So I've been watching my p's and q's for a while now (a good 7-8 months) when it comes to my health, I'm not perfect, I don't claim to be....I fall off the wagon alot, but I ALWAYS get back on, ALWAYS.
I'm taking the slow approach to my weight loss and over all health improvements, making very small changes so that I can do it as a family with my kids which means introducing newer healthier foods one at a time, and repeatedly.
I haven't lost much weight but thanks to getting off my *kitten* and going to Zumba on Saturday mornings and Wednesday nights and my treadmill and my Zumba DVD's at home. I can climb a flight or more of stairs in a blink, not out of breath for example.
I've made good changes. Am I where I want to be, no, where I want to be is a pair of size 8 jeans so I can rub them in my ex's face and hang him from the highest tree with them and rip down his drawers for the whole world to laugh at (he's the one that broke up with me b/c I wasn't a size 8, I'm an 18, I *kitten* you not, and yes I'm slightly bitter at him lol)
Ok, so, my friend, who is shorter than I, and I'm going to go out on a limb and say a tad (I'm holding back here
) unhealthier than I, and probably couldn't climb a flight of stairs without a time out. Who has always been the one to jump if I forget my lunch and ask if I wanna go out, to the local buffet etc.... (she's been a hard person to tell no, albeit I have but let's put it that way)She's always the first one to mention a potluck at work....etc..
For christmas her sister gave her $1000. (We are poor, this is an exhuberant amout of money to us) and put a note in the envelope saying she wants to see her healthier and make better choices (she's a pharmacist)....and that if she lost 50lbs by sometime this summer, she'd give her another $1000
So now she's uber healthy, slimfast shakes, 100 calorie packs etc, constantly pointing out stuff I eat, saying it's not fair if I eat it, and now she's got other people at work commenting etc.... I wanna punch her in the face. The only reason she's doing this is for the money and as much as I love her to death, I know she won't succeed, but her sister will give her the money anyway.
Yeah, today I had a greasy burger from McDonalds, fries and a pop....but does she realize I was up at 730 am Saturday and fn Sunday doing Zumba? Where was her *kitten*, sleeping!
Ugh......
I feel like I'm doing ok, I'm doing the right thing, if I restrict myself much more (for her sake) I'm gonna get off the wagon again, or start back with my 1 meal a day crap....
I don't know maybe I'm fooling myself, I kind of quit using my diary, and I'm ok with that so you can't guage there....
Ugh, rant over....can ya'll just punch her in the face for me?
i didn't want to waste my time in the main forums. You guys know me better than them (not that you really know me but you know what I'm trying to say)
So I've been watching my p's and q's for a while now (a good 7-8 months) when it comes to my health, I'm not perfect, I don't claim to be....I fall off the wagon alot, but I ALWAYS get back on, ALWAYS.
I'm taking the slow approach to my weight loss and over all health improvements, making very small changes so that I can do it as a family with my kids which means introducing newer healthier foods one at a time, and repeatedly.
I haven't lost much weight but thanks to getting off my *kitten* and going to Zumba on Saturday mornings and Wednesday nights and my treadmill and my Zumba DVD's at home. I can climb a flight or more of stairs in a blink, not out of breath for example.
I've made good changes. Am I where I want to be, no, where I want to be is a pair of size 8 jeans so I can rub them in my ex's face and hang him from the highest tree with them and rip down his drawers for the whole world to laugh at (he's the one that broke up with me b/c I wasn't a size 8, I'm an 18, I *kitten* you not, and yes I'm slightly bitter at him lol)
Ok, so, my friend, who is shorter than I, and I'm going to go out on a limb and say a tad (I'm holding back here
) unhealthier than I, and probably couldn't climb a flight of stairs without a time out. Who has always been the one to jump if I forget my lunch and ask if I wanna go out, to the local buffet etc.... (she's been a hard person to tell no, albeit I have but let's put it that way)She's always the first one to mention a potluck at work....etc..For christmas her sister gave her $1000. (We are poor, this is an exhuberant amout of money to us) and put a note in the envelope saying she wants to see her healthier and make better choices (she's a pharmacist)....and that if she lost 50lbs by sometime this summer, she'd give her another $1000
So now she's uber healthy, slimfast shakes, 100 calorie packs etc, constantly pointing out stuff I eat, saying it's not fair if I eat it, and now she's got other people at work commenting etc.... I wanna punch her in the face. The only reason she's doing this is for the money and as much as I love her to death, I know she won't succeed, but her sister will give her the money anyway.
Yeah, today I had a greasy burger from McDonalds, fries and a pop....but does she realize I was up at 730 am Saturday and fn Sunday doing Zumba? Where was her *kitten*, sleeping!
Ugh......
I feel like I'm doing ok, I'm doing the right thing, if I restrict myself much more (for her sake) I'm gonna get off the wagon again, or start back with my 1 meal a day crap....
I don't know maybe I'm fooling myself, I kind of quit using my diary, and I'm ok with that so you can't guage there....
Ugh, rant over....can ya'll just punch her in the face for me?
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Replies
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I understand the frustrations with "friends" like this...but bottom line is that you gotta keep doing what's best for you, and you don't have to justify it to anyone. If you want someone to kick you in the *kitten* and hold you accountable that's one thing. But the unsolicited, money-driven diet advice is just flat out annoying.
You said it yourself...she will not succeed. Your own success will be the last word and a great one at that. If you don't feel like you can tell her that you don't want or need her advice, then try to put her on "ignore", do your thing and enjoy that last word.
Hang in there!0 -
So this is a rant, if you don't wanna hear a rant please move on I guess. I'm really sorry to those who do read it I know it's long, but I'm frustrated and can't rant to anyone here.
i didn't want to waste my time in the main forums. You guys know me better than them (not that you really know me but you know what I'm trying to say)
So I've been watching my p's and q's for a while now (a good 7-8 months) when it comes to my health, I'm not perfect, I don't claim to be....I fall off the wagon alot, but I ALWAYS get back on, ALWAYS.
I'm taking the slow approach to my weight loss and over all health improvements, making very small changes so that I can do it as a family with my kids which means introducing newer healthier foods one at a time, and repeatedly.
I haven't lost much weight but thanks to getting off my *kitten* and going to Zumba on Saturday mornings and Wednesday nights and my treadmill and my Zumba DVD's at home. I can climb a flight or more of stairs in a blink, not out of breath for example.
I've made good changes. Am I where I want to be, no, where I want to be is a pair of size 8 jeans so I can rub them in my ex's face and hang him from the highest tree with them and rip down his drawers for the whole world to laugh at (he's the one that broke up with me b/c I wasn't a size 8, I'm an 18, I *kitten* you not, and yes I'm slightly bitter at him lol)
Ok, so, my friend, who is shorter than I, and I'm going to go out on a limb and say a tad (I'm holding back here ) unhealthier than I, and probably couldn't climb a flight of stairs without a time out. Who has always been the one to jump if I forget my lunch and ask if I wanna go out, to the local buffet etc.... (she's been a hard person to tell no, albeit I have but let's put it that way)She's always the first one to mention a potluck at work....etc..
For christmas her sister gave her $1000. (We are poor, this is an exhuberant amout of money to us) and put a note in the envelope saying she wants to see her healthier and make better choices (she's a pharmacist)....and that if she lost 50lbs by sometime this summer, she'd give her another $1000
So now she's uber healthy, slimfast shakes, 100 calorie packs etc, constantly pointing out stuff I eat, saying it's not fair if I eat it, and now she's got other people at work commenting etc.... I wanna punch her in the face. The only reason she's doing this is for the money and as much as I love her to death, I know she won't succeed, but her sister will give her the money anyway.
Yeah, today I had a greasy burger from McDonalds, fries and a pop....but does she realize I was up at 730 am Saturday and fn Sunday doing Zumba? Where was her *kitten*, sleeping!
Ugh......
I feel like I'm doing ok, I'm doing the right thing, if I restrict myself much more (for her sake) I'm gonna get off the wagon again, or start back with my 1 meal a day crap....
I don't know maybe I'm fooling myself, I kind of quit using my diary, and I'm ok with that so you can't guage there....
Ugh, rant over....can ya'll just punch her in the face for me?
I wouldn't say Slim Fast shakes and 100 calorie packs are "healthy", but I see your rant. I'd lose 50 pounds for $2000. The fact that she's all "in yo face" about it I can see isn't helping.
My advice. Don't do the 1 meal a day crap. NOT HEALTHY. If you want to be healthy, be healthy for you. But don't do any crash situation just to beat her. Let her be all "one with diets". Just let it all go in one ear and out the other. If you decided to visit a drive thru that's your decision. She needs not to know about it! LOL0 -
I can relate, in a way. I have a friend who just pisses the hell outta me. I've known him since high school and we were pretty close. As I was losing weight, being healthier and stuff, I tried to get him to join me and he would just make excuses. Said he would join when I reached his weight, which back then was around 350 lbs. That came and went. He never joined.
Summer of 2010, I went on a road trip with him and another friend to San Diego to visit friends and go to Comic-con. Besides Comic-con, we also did Seaworld and the Zoo. He struggled to get around anywhere. He was severely out of shape. I didn't think much of it but after a few days of not improving, I finally dragged his *kitten* to the hospital where he found out that he had numerous blood clots in both his lungs and in a major artery of his heart, Years of leading a sedentary life plus overeating didn't help Doctors said he was lucky to be alive. He also discovered he was 370 lbs.
He did a 180, quit soda pop. started being more active. I was happy for him and glad to have a gym buddy He got down to 320 lbs. He was doing great! . Then after a few months he started slacking and going back to his old habits, drinking soda pop, not exercising. Because of the blood clots he is permanently on meds for the rest of his life and he seems to just have accepted his fate. I tried and tired to get him to change but he doesn't care to.
The part that really pisses me off is when we do go out to grab a bite to eat couple a times a month, he'll give me **** about ordering unhealthy stuff. "You're gonna ruin your diet!" I just give him this look and I'm like "WTF DUDE you almost effing died and you're gonna give me **** about what I eat?" Plus I am still making progress, albeit slow, but it's progress. I started hanging out with him less and less. I tell him I'm too busy to go out, which is partially true. Alot of my free time is spent at the gym. It saddens me to say this but I've given up on him He's almost 400 lbs at he moment and doesn't give a F so why should I bother?0 -
Ugh, Lacroyx....yes.... this exactly.
I haven't asked her to join me in anything, I've listened to her get upset about her weight, and then get all excited when she ordered some diet pills.... like "this was it" it was going to fix it.
I just kind of shrug... and keep going.
I keep encouraging her though when she talks about not having to take aleve for her knees and such lately, and how much better she feels.... that's all I can do for her is encourage her when she has things like that.
It would just be nice if she didn't point out all of my flaws...and then me get all flusterbated.
Thanks guys!0 -
Don't worry.... you do what you need to do. It's been working and will continue to work. 0
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Perhaps it's just me, but I always tend to diet alone. I dont even tell anyone I'm dieting anymore. I can't bear all the misinformed BS that comes out of some people's mouths.
If I were you I'd tell her good luck with her venture, but you're not motivated to diet right now, so leave you out of it. But that does mean you dont talk to her when you need support either.
I'm totally against people making my life more difficult than it needs to be! So, get rid........0 -
This.Perhaps it's just me, but I always tend to diet alone. I dont even tell anyone I'm dieting anymore. I can't bear all the misinformed BS that comes out of some people's mouths.
And tell her from me that she will spend way more than $1000 in pills, slim fast and shakes over the course of the next 6 months and that she will be at a financial loss - thus the whole exercise is pointless.0 -
(((HUGS)))0
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Uggghh! Email me her addy and I'll get my boys onto this 'face punching' business :smokin:
... I mean 'pay her a visit'... we'll pay. her. a. visit.0 -
Every time she points out something about your food, point out research about diet pills and/or tell her the exercise you have been doing. Or say you might eat the odd "unhealthy" thing but you're not dieting you have changed to a permanent healthy lifestyle so are able to fit these things in, rather than being on a short term crash course. She will soon learn to shut up as you are the one doing it properly and have the info etc to back it up.0
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So this is a rant, if you don't wanna hear a rant please move on I guess. I'm really sorry to those who do read it I know it's long, but I'm frustrated and can't rant to anyone here.
i didn't want to waste my time in the main forums. You guys know me better than them (not that you really know me but you know what I'm trying to say)
So I've been watching my p's and q's for a while now (a good 7-8 months) when it comes to my health, I'm not perfect, I don't claim to be....I fall off the wagon alot, but I ALWAYS get back on, ALWAYS.
I'm taking the slow approach to my weight loss and over all health improvements, making very small changes so that I can do it as a family with my kids which means introducing newer healthier foods one at a time, and repeatedly.
I haven't lost much weight but thanks to getting off my *kitten* and going to Zumba on Saturday mornings and Wednesday nights and my treadmill and my Zumba DVD's at home. I can climb a flight or more of stairs in a blink, not out of breath for example.
I've made good changes. Am I where I want to be, no, where I want to be is a pair of size 8 jeans so I can rub them in my ex's face and hang him from the highest tree with them and rip down his drawers for the whole world to laugh at (he's the one that broke up with me b/c I wasn't a size 8, I'm an 18, I *kitten* you not, and yes I'm slightly bitter at him lol)
Ok, so, my friend, who is shorter than I, and I'm going to go out on a limb and say a tad (I'm holding back here ) unhealthier than I, and probably couldn't climb a flight of stairs without a time out. Who has always been the one to jump if I forget my lunch and ask if I wanna go out, to the local buffet etc.... (she's been a hard person to tell no, albeit I have but let's put it that way)She's always the first one to mention a potluck at work....etc..
For christmas her sister gave her $1000. (We are poor, this is an exhuberant amout of money to us) and put a note in the envelope saying she wants to see her healthier and make better choices (she's a pharmacist)....and that if she lost 50lbs by sometime this summer, she'd give her another $1000
So now she's uber healthy, slimfast shakes, 100 calorie packs etc, constantly pointing out stuff I eat, saying it's not fair if I eat it, and now she's got other people at work commenting etc.... I wanna punch her in the face. The only reason she's doing this is for the money and as much as I love her to death, I know she won't succeed, but her sister will give her the money anyway.
Yeah, today I had a greasy burger from McDonalds, fries and a pop....but does she realize I was up at 730 am Saturday and fn Sunday doing Zumba? Where was her *kitten*, sleeping!
Ugh......
I feel like I'm doing ok, I'm doing the right thing, if I restrict myself much more (for her sake) I'm gonna get off the wagon again, or start back with my 1 meal a day crap....
I don't know maybe I'm fooling myself, I kind of quit using my diary, and I'm ok with that so you can't guage there....
Ugh, rant over....can ya'll just punch her in the face for me?
I feel ya, people are ridiculous. I guess with myself I played the "tortoise and the hare" game. I just did what i wanted, ended up losing my weight and getting in shape, and "got the last laugh" so to speak. Morality police / food police are terribly annoying, and unreasonable usually.
I understand you are "ranting" and not necessarily looking for advice so take this with a grain of salt, but...
Just be firm in what you do, let her know by your actions that you are going to live how you want to live, and you don't give a ****.0 -
It is so hard when it is a friend. I have a friend who is very similar with the pills and the shakes and the stuff you sprinkle on your food. She tries everything but actually diet and exercise. She always tries to lure me to go to lunch with her. Right now she is taking phentarmine. I gotta admit she looks great. It is working really well for her. Although she doesn't really eat anymore. She doesn't eat breakfast and has soup for lunch and a salad for dinner. So .. whatever.
Anyway .. decide if you want to keep her as a friend .. if you do, figure out a way to handle it so she doesn't drive you bonkers. If you don't .. slowly back away. That is really all you can do. If you want to keep her as a friend you must let it roll off your back. Otherwise you will get more and more resentful of her.0 -
This might be not be accurate, but do you think part of the reason you are so frustrated and defensive with her because you aren't as on point with your lifestyle changes as you would like to be? I know when I'm slacking I get more sensitive about other peoples behaviors and comments on my own choices. For example, if I'm actually eating healthy and only have one cheat meal, then when someone mentions what I'm eating I can roll my eyes and forget about it... but when it's my third "cheat meal" that week I snap about how it's none of their business.
Just a thought?
Otherwise, ignore what she's doing, or why. It's kind of mean for people to say that you should get pleasure from her failing - we've all been where she is. So let her do her thing, ignore it and she'll learn her own lessons. Or not. Even if she drinks slimfast for the rest of her life without losing a pound it's no ones business but her own. Focus on your own **** and when she points out something unhealthy, think of her words like water off a ducks back.0 -
Kit - I think you nailed it. I wanted to suggest this too.0
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Kit, now that I'm off of the fumes of my rant, you have hit the nail on the head somewhat, and I knew that when I typed that out :ohwell:
I am doing this pretty much alone, and have been for a while so when people come around and start pointing out "what I'm not doing right" then I do get defensive, because it's difficult to keep myself motivated sometimes and them getting "all up in my kool-aid" is not cool.
Like zachatta mentioned.....getting the last laugh.......I want that last laugh, I want that more than anything.0 -
Kit, now that I'm off of the fumes of my rant, you have hit the nail on the head somewhat, and I knew that when I typed that out :ohwell:
I am doing this pretty much alone, and have been for a while so when people come around and start pointing out "what I'm not doing right" then I do get defensive, because it's difficult to keep myself motivated sometimes and them getting "all up in my kool-aid" is not cool.
Like zachatta mentioned.....getting the last laugh.......I want that last laugh, I want that more than anything.
I dunno, I don't think the last laugh should be the motivation, since that's basically reveling in someone elses misfortune (whether by her own hand or not, it's not like she's an awful person that deserves it).
I've found that you don't really get anywhere when you build yourself up by tearing other people down when they haven't really done anything. You build yourself up by just BEING better and more positive. Instead of taking pleasure in another person negative, do the right thing yourself and be proud of that.
just my 
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Kit, now that I'm off of the fumes of my rant, you have hit the nail on the head somewhat, and I knew that when I typed that out :ohwell:
I am doing this pretty much alone, and have been for a while so when people come around and start pointing out "what I'm not doing right" then I do get defensive, because it's difficult to keep myself motivated sometimes and them getting "all up in my kool-aid" is not cool.
Like zachatta mentioned.....getting the last laugh.......I want that last laugh, I want that more than anything.
I dunno, I don't think the last laugh should be the motivation, since that's basically reveling in someone elses misfortune (whether by her own hand or not, it's not like she's an awful person that deserves it).
I've found that you don't really get anywhere when you build yourself up by tearing other people down when they haven't really done anything. You build yourself up by just BEING better and more positive. Instead of taking pleasure in another person negative, do the right thing yourself and be proud of that. just my
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say (think) you can't do. I've said it before I hate being a woman, why do we have to be so competitive? So I want to do what they think I can't do.....
To take that even further, really I'd be doing what *I* think I can't do....I have a hard time believing myself that I can do it. So I guess it gives me a high to motivate myself with that.
If I mentally complete the task (lose the weight) simply to revel in thier failure....I havent' done it for myself, I'll be alone in my little "victory dance" and they will still be haters, pointing out any flaw they possibly can. I can't do this to please them.
Being a competitive woman, with all that said. I still want the last laugh. lol0
